CHAPTER SIXTEEN
sleep on the floor
Everything felt different, upon their return.
Rosalie hated it. The family had barely spoken in the day that followed Bella's discharge from the hospital. Whether it was out of fear of upsetting Edward or causing an argument, she didn't know, but Rose didn't stay long enough within the glassy walls of their home, to find out. She avoided Bella as if she held the plague, too afraid to say something wrong, because though even the air felt stale now they'd returned, a calmness had settled upon the town, upon Rosalie. A tranquillity she refused to disrupt.
Edward finally found her by the stream. He had been looking for her and rose had avoided him, though she'd made a poor job of it. It was always there by the riverbank, knees digging into the rocky sand and hands submerged, that he found her. She remembered the last time they had spoken beneath the cover of the trees. It seemed so long ago and so much had happened since just as she had warned and predicted. In spite of it, she could not feel angry. Rosalie was too tired for that.
You're playing a dangerous game, Edward, she'd warned him. The game had been played and he had won in the end. But at what cost? She pushed the thought away and let him come closer, sitting by her side.
"I think you're owed a thanks," Edward said. "For helping me. For helping Bella. I didn't think you would."
"Neither did I," she breathed, surprising him with her honesty.
"What made you?"
Rose shook her head. "You'll think me selfish."
"I already do," Edward said, his tone lacking malice, rewarding her with the same truthfulness she'd given.
Rosalie let out a sigh and folded her arms across her knees. "I thought of Violet Green." She thought of Violet Green and felt fear and resentment and understanding, all wrapped in one. "I would have been a hypocrite to think of Violet and to still stand there and watch. And I'm many things-"
"Yes you are," Edward interrupted, but there was a fondness in his voice and he was smiling gently.
"I'm many things, but I'm not a hypocrite," Rose finished, leaning her chin against her arms as she watched the ripples of the water. It made her want to close her eyes, craving the human feeling of a calm sleep. "And Bella deserves to live the life we couldn't."
A flash of guilt crossed Edward's face but it left as quickly as it had appeared. He placed a hand against her elbow and Rose moved to grasp his hand in hers. Her smile was weak but he returned it. It was funny to think that once he'd been destined to be her partner. All she could feel for him was familial love. The unique type of love that often bordered hate.
Your life isn't what you wanted, Rosalie, but can't we try to get a happy five years?
"I didn't think it would be too much to ask. To keep our home safe.
"You don't get to decide who you love," he said as if that answered enough. She supposed it was. It was love that had led them down this pathway.
Not long ago she would have argued. There's always a choice. You didn't choose me. But she wasn't so sure anymore.
"I can't lose this, Edward," Rosalie whispered, gripping his hand tighter. "You have to promise me that we'll stay here for as long as we can. That this will stay our home until it can't be for any longer."
"Rose..."
She couldn't let him refuse. "This was the first place that felt like a home after - after..." Rosalie drifted off, shaking her head. His hand held hers just as tightly. "I'm not ready to leave."
"I promise, Rosalie," Edward said. "And we've proved it to ourselves, haven't we? That we can keep them safe, keep this town safe. We'd ruin ourselves before letting them get hurt."
He had ruined himself. The red tinge to his eyes had been scary to see. Yet something about the sight had comforted Rosalie. It was proof of his dedication, of a restraint that Rosalie had not been convinced he held. He'd done it with her help and it had made her think too hard. Perhaps that had been their problem. She hadn't given him the support he needed to be with Bella. Not like the rest of the family had. But could they blame her? A dangerous game...
"I just want to be happy, Rose. I want us to be happy. You deserve it more than most," he said. "I know you want that too."
"I do." The words came out harsher than she wanted them to. She gripped a hand to her face. "I just don't know how to be. Not while I'm this."
Edward was quiet then, so still that if he hadn't been holding onto her hand, she might've forgotten he was there. She'd finally scared him into silence then. It was the one time she wanted him to talk. Rose wanted an answer, needed it.
But she would never get it. Not from her brother's words, at least.
They heard Alice before they saw her. She was humming purposefully, trailing swirling patterns around the trees, giving them time to expect her. On her lips, a wistful smile was placed and in her hands, a box.
"I was looking for you," she said, eyes glazing past Edward, ignoring him in favour of examining Rosalie. "Edward. I'd like to talk to my sister please."
She gave her one last squeeze of the hand before he stood, leaving her to Alice's whims. Her sister gave no greeting, no explanation for her being there. She only handed over the box, laying it in Rosalie's lap, staring at her expectantly.
"I brought you something."
"What is it?" The question fell stupidly from her lips as she pulled the lid from the box, revealing swathes of black material. "The dress. You're giving it to me."
"Mhm." A hum was Alice's only response.
The dress was beautiful, as dark as midnight, with pearls lining the deep neckline like glistening moons. When she touched it, the fabric was soft, streaks of velvet running across the bodice, layered with purple beneath sheer lace. Rosalie glanced up at her sister, unsure. The dress had been finished for ages- for about as long as Alice had been giving Rose the silent treatment.
"What have I done to deserve it now?"
"You helped Bella. You talked to Edward. You're going to talk to me," Alice said, entwining their arms together.
"Alice-"
Her sister cut her off, nose held high in the air. "You don't have to say it. I think I understand."
"I don't think you ever could."
She did not mean it to be cruel. It was the truth, In Rosalie's eyes. Alice only hummed and pulled their arms closer.
"No, maybe not. Not entirely anyway," she said. Her eyes were glazed- the type of look that held a vision behind her gaze, but Rosalie knew there was no second sight there and then. Whatever Alice was seeing was not a glimpse of the future, but a moment of her wishes. She could tell by the crease in her face, the tilt of emotion- things that were not present in her peek at the future. "But I know you're scared of getting too close to her."
"I don't know what-"
Alice's look was pointed but fleeting. "Don't try that with me, Rose, we all know her name by now. Violet Green." The name sounded odd on her sister's lips. That name seemed to exist separate from the world of her family. "She's going to be at the dance, isn't she?"
"Maybe."
Alice only smiled and finally removed her last hand from the pretty box. "I think it's time you wore this dress."
Violet had been left to the loudness of her thoughts until the gentle crinkle of the radio brought her back to the car. Her dad glanced over from the driver's seat, his eyes a steely silver. The engined rumbled darkly, revving too readily and Violet frowned as Robbie slowed the truck's speed.
"We can turn back if you're not feeling up to it, Vi," he said, moving a hand from the gear stick to pat her leg. "They'll understand if you don't come and I can bring some of Billy's leftovers."
"I'm fine. Just a little tired," she reassured him. The look on his face- furrowed brows and a crumpled nose- had her saying, "I promise."
"You know, if you're worrying about moving out to college after the summer, you don't have to. You could defer a year, take the truck someplace and give yourself time to think. Me and Ally would be more than happy to keep you," he said. Violet bit her lip between her teeth. He'd become increasingly anxious about her moving to college and the thought of him missing her so much made her feel guilty, but she had to leave. "College can wait a year until you're sure, Vi."
"I'm sure dad. NYU is the right choice and we always knew I would go for engineering," she said. I love it here, you know. I love our house, I love the garage. I love my stupid, unfixable Jeep. I love the woods and the weather. I'll miss it all, the people mostly too. But If I don't go now, I don't think I'll ever leave. This is something I have to do."
Jacob was already waiting outside the garage when the truck pulled up outside of Billy Black's cabin. Celia was there too, tucked flat against the wooden beams, and though it was raining, the water messing her hair, she stood as far away from the younger boy as possible.
"I'm proud of you, sweetheart. I just sometimes forget you're not little anymore," Robbie said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her forehead. "I want you to go everywhere and anywhere you wish to. Just promise me you'll always come home. Even if it's just for a day."
"Of course, I will. I promise."
Her dad was first to leave the truck, smiling and nodding and disappearing into the cabin where the rest of the boys waited. With a sigh, Violet followed, hands warmed in her pockets. Celia was straight to her side as she got out of the car, glueing their arms together. Jacob only rolled his eyes.
"Are you alright? You've been off the past couple of days."
"I'm good, Cee. Just haven't been sleeping properly," she said, pulling her inside despite her friend's reluctance. "Come on, Jake will be waiting."
"I know," she huffed, making Violet laugh. "He's been annoying me since I got here. He's so impatient."
"Sounds like him."
The sound of metal clanging made Violet cringe. Jacob was clumsily messing around with his tools, and upon glancing to her face, rolled his eyes again.
"I need to finish this before they dish out the food."
She grabbed the part from his hand a discarded it. "Why so urgent?"
"Embry and Quill are coming then and he doesn't want them to see you helping him," Celia explained.
"That's not true!"
"Why else are you rushing so much?"
Jacob turned away. "I just want to get it done."
"Sure, sure."
The pride of boys never seemed to fail. Violet took the toolbox, nudged Jake out of her way, and set to work, letting Celia's chatter happily fill the air.
The evening was a dark one and though the rain had ceased hours ago, dark clouds still lingered. The small heater that whirled on her desk was vibrating, the grating sound sending shivers up Violet's back. It was so warm, that when the air touched against the iciness of the window panes, it condensed, leaving her windows a pale shade of white against dark green, difficult to look out of.
Though interrupted with quiet chatter, the sounds that came from downstairs the small farmhouse were solemn. The boys were around, void of their children, and so Violet found solace in her room. Chief Swan seemed inconsolable. From what little she'd gathered from intermittent conversations, Bella had escaped from Forks and made her way back to Arizona. Away from Charlie and back towards her mother. Something else must've happened- not that Violet had been told- because he'd left swiftly in his van early that morning and had not been heard from since. Only Harry and Billy remained, waiting by the phone for any word or call for help, like diligent, loyal soldiers.
Violet longed for her best friend's voice and though she'd promised to phone her with news, the phone had been silent all day. It would be dark, by the time Celia arrived home and could phone her. Across the room, the turntable stopped with a click. With a huff, Violet stood and flipped the record, letting the rest of the music play out, covering the nervous voices that broke from the landing. But then the tingling chime of her phone drew Violet back into herself and she almost fell to her knees as she threw herself to answer it, flipping it open and not bothering to look at the blocky lettering of a name.
"Celia? Hello?"
"Look outside."
It was not Celia's voice on the other side, but Violet could recognise that smooth tone any day. A voice she'd only imagined for the past days. She let her breath fill the phone with a quiet answer as she drifted towards the window, pushing it open smoothly before leaning out, hip pressed against the sill.
"Rosalie?"
The blonde stared up at her, looking exactly as she had several days ago, wearing the same leather jacket and small smile. The casualness of it all made Violet want to scream. Only days ago, she'd left her with mad panic, spouting out about trust. Something akin to fear had bubbled in Violet's chest, calming only slightly as the days went by without contact.
"What the hell? It's been days!"
"I know I'm sorry." Rosalie was still speaking into the phone but Violet could hear her clearly.
"You freaked me the fuck out. Celia thought I was going mental." Her voice was quiet, rather than angry, and Violet could not rip her eyes from the girl below.
"Maybe you are? There was no reason to worry like that."
"I didn't say I was worried."
"Sure," came the reply, and Rosalie's eyes glittered with her dangerous expression. Violet almost wanted to hold her breath, in fest of loosing it again.
"You were being scary."
Those were the only words that could make Rose falter. She frowned.
"I told you: you didn't have to be scared."
But there had been something sincere in Rosalie's worry. Something that made Violet feel like she never had before and for that, she couldn't stay mad.
"Are you going to let me just freeze outside?"
"Yeah, I was going to. Payback for freaking me out," Violet said, her lips bitten between teeth. "No but seriously. My dad has a few friends around. You pass through that front door and you'll never leave. They can talk for days."
"No problem. I'm flexible."
"I don't doubt that," the words slipped from her mouth as a whisper as Rose moved forward.
"What was that?"
Then she was reaching a hand up, scaling the side of the house, using the ivy plants and wooden beams to hoist herself up.
"Rosalie. Hey Rosalie," Violet hurried, leaning herself further out of the window. "You can't climb that, you'll fall."
"Be quiet," was the only answer that came.
Violet let out a squeak as both of Rosalie's feet lifted from the pipe, stretching smoothly over to the window. She held out a hand, letting Rosalie's fingers entwine in hers and then they were falling backwards, landing against the wooden floor of her bedroom, Rose's legs straddling her waist.
Fire was erupting across her abdomen and Violet couldn't tell if it was the pain of the landing or her whole body screaming that the other girl was so close. Sweet and dark- she could smell her perfume. Could feel her heat, despite the iciness of her hands. And Rosalie was smiling down at her, smugly, with her curved eyebrows raised. She must have known. Shame flooded through Violet's chest as she turned her head away, shielding the crimson warmth that ruined her face.
Rose finally stood and Violet ignored the hand that offered to help her up. Her eyes avoided her, but they always came back to Rosalie. Standing there, knees flush against the bed, she seemed out of place in her room. Too perfect amongst her piles of clutter and ageing posters.
"This feels more like normal," Violet said eventually, breaking the silence.
"What does?"
"The quiet."
"I'm not usually very talkative," Rosalie said.
She was observing everything, making Violet nervous. It felt wrong, to have her see her room. It was intimate, far more intimate than they'd been over the past couple of months. The painted walls and unmade bed said far more about her than Violet wanted Rosalie to understand.
"I know. But you listen. You let me ramble. Not many people do," she said, turning away to click the turntable on, letting the same side play again. Anything was better than their intermittent quietness.
"I'm sorry, for panicking you."
Violet only thinned her lips and nodded, leaning against her desk to create distance. "You going to tell me what was happening?"
"No, I don't think I can."
She felt her own face drop heavily but did not care enough to fix it. Rosalie stepped forward, reaching for her arm. Violet lifted it from her reach, letting her hand hover between them.
"You can't just expect my trust, Rose," Violet said. "You had it then, when you were scared for whatever reason. But you don't have it now."
"I'm going to make it up to you," Rose said and finally she brought her eyes up to meet. The raw honesty on Rosalie's face made Violet swallow, her throat suddenly feeling dry. There was no questioning in her voice, only pure motivation, as if she already knew how to achieve her trust.
"I'm going to make you work for it."
Their fingers swept across each other, knuckles brushing and Violet wondered if this was the first time they'd ever touched so purposefully, with meaning and without flinching. She was cold, her touch like ice and almost sharp enough to sting. This time, Violet could not pull away.
"I don't doubt that," Rosalie's breath was brisk against her cheek, making her blink heavily.
"You're friends with Bella," she said suddenly. Violet nodded. "You must have known that she left- to Arizona, I mean."
"Yeah, my dad has been with Charlie. He was worried sick."
"I went with Edward to bring her back. There were other things involved. Complications. But she made me think of you."
Violet frowned. What complications could have made Rosalie Hale so panicked? But to hear the other girl speaking with such candor made something within her feel settled. It might not have been the whole truth but... it was a start. A start that felt good.
"Don't ask me why," she said and Violet smiled, closing her parted lips. "I just did and I panicked. And I'm here to make it right. And to prove something to myself."
"What do you have to prove?"
Rosalie moved closer then, bright eyes staring down at her with a glimmer. With her breath held, Violet stared back, praying her quickened heart beat was loud enough only for herself to hear.
"That I can do the right thing." Her voice was almost a whisper. "That I can be happy."
"And how do you prove that?" Her breath really was held now.
"By making it up to you."
Sorry this took so long, writers block hit me like a brick and uni added the cement on heavy but at least we're finally here!
Let me know what you think x