ˏˋ°•* 𖤐 ❝ YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL ❞
❪ like i'm your personal parasite ❫
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL
WISH WE WERE STRANGESS - ANDI
──── CHAPTER VI
RYKER BEGAN HER SHORT WALK TO FINN'S trailer, sighing. The only sound she heard was the sound of her boots colliding against the concrete as she had battled with herself in her head if this was a good idea.
What if he told her he doesn't wanna see her and to get lost? What if he pushed her away like he always did? What if when she asked, he'd shut her out? Tell her it was none of her business?
What she had decided was that this was a bad idea.
He was probably gonna push her out of the door. Or better yet, he was gonna push her to the ground and laugh.
Pacing outside of his trailer, debating on if she should knock. What if Haley was still here? What if she stayed longer than usual? She always left at around 4:30PM but sometimes she'd stay until later. But, if Ryker had gotten lucky, today she wouldn't be here.
Ryker looked at his door and finally, after a long time inside of her head, knocked on the door and waited to see if he was gonna open it or not.
And to her dismay, he opened it, with a small smile forming on his face as he looked at the girl who had a concerned look on her face. He had noticed she looked worried. She was still in her characters outfit between breaks. She always did that incase she would've ruined filming by taking too long to change back into wardrobe. He knew that about her since day one that she didn't like to change out of wardrobe until the end of the day.
Something he always admired about her was her dedication to her work. In all aspects. Her writing, her acting, her singing. She put so much dedication into all of it and he admired her for it. He could never discredit her for any of it.
"What are you doing here?" Finn was the first to break the silence, leaning against the doorway to see her nervously scratching her neck.
"Nice to see you, too."
"I saw you twenty minutes ago."
"Well, sorry for not waiting an hour."
"You could've waited a life time."
"I wanted to talk to you." She stated plainly, looking at the ground with a scoff. "I just wanted to know if you were okay."
"Why wouldn't I be?" He looked at her sideways, confused, wondering why she would be assuming he wasn't okay. Not that it was such a wild assumption, but he was confused as of why it was coming from Ryker and not somebody else, literally anybody else.
"Look. I know we haven't been on the best of terms for...years," She rolled her eyes, managing to get herself to look him in the eye. "but somewhere, deep in my heart, I still care about you."
He nodded, letting her continue as he watched her fiddle with the rings on her fingers, glancing at the small tattoo on her finger, then looking at his own.
He remembered the day they got those together like it was yesterday, how he had to hold her hand cause she was scared how bad it would hurt, anticipating the worst. How she had spent about 30 minutes ranting about how stupid it was that she had to get a permanent tattoo because she lost a bet. How he fell in love with her laugh even more that day. The glint in her eye when she spoke passionately about all the tattoos she wants and how she has a dream board of exactly how she wants her arms to look. How she said she wanted more matching ones with him, even if it was a stupid idea. Never something so meaningful that if one of them had broken the other's heart that it would pain them to look at, just something cute and tiny, maybe hidden.
"So, if you let me care about you... Can I come in and we talk?" Ryker pleaded with the slightly taller boy who smiled at her, nodding and letting her inside his trailer. "I just wanna know you're okay."
"I'm okay." He shrugged. "What do you wanna talk about?"
"Finn..." She sighed, noticing the clutter and began quickly cleaning up as soon as she realized how messy he was. One of his many faults. One of her own faults for not being able to stand anything messy and being a stress cleaner. "I know it's none of my business, alright? But are you sure you're happy with Haley?"
"Joe told you, huh?" He chuckled, a small smile still on his lips even though he should be mad. "And I'm guessing he's the one who sent you here?"
"Something like that." She said, sliding his old vinyl back onto a shelf, finding a little memory she had tucked away in her skull. A small matching bracelet. A ghost and a wolf that connected when put together. She wanted the necklace, but he wanted the bracelet so that when they held hands they would stay connected. Cliché, but adorable. "Apparently, I'm the only one you'll listen to. The only one who can get you to open up about your emotions."
"Who said that?" He chuckled, watching the girl roam the trailer. He noticed her wrists, then the bracelet, and the small, extremely faded red ink she had written on the back of her hand of a heart. But what stood out to him was the ghost bracelet she had never taken off.
"Our whole cast." She looked up at him, crouching at the vinyl shelf once again and picking up the bracelet, secretly putting it in her pocket. "Is she controlling you?"
Ryker was one to be blunt and forward, forgetting to add a 'you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.' though, that was how she felt, she was bad at expressing it.
He sighed. She knew and there was nothing he could do to even deny it. Everybody who knew him and knew Haley would know. Even through a photo it was obvious how unhappy he was.
"What? No!" Finn tried his best to defend Haley, watching Ryker nod slowly and sit down on the couch. "She's just...overly jealous. Over everybody...Even Millie. Especially you. She doesn't even want me in the same room as you."
"Me?" Ryker's face, once full with the bright smile of memorabilia, now replaced with confusion and worry.
"She thinks I...have a crush on you." He shrugged, sitting down next to her as he sighed, his slim figure slouching against the couch. "Which, obviously I don't! But she just gets crazy with jealousy. I understand being jealous, but she accuses me of cheating on her all the time. I am not a cheater."
She stayed silent, knowing that's not true. He cheated on her. Or...maybe he didn't. But he still broke her heart almost as bad. "When are you gonna finally gonna say something about how bad she's hurting you?"
"When I finally explode." He calmly stated with a small smile on his lips as he looked in her sparkling eyes.
"Don't be a smart-ass right now." She quickly reminded him, playfully swatting at his knee to which he giggled and pushed her hand away before she could. "If you break up with her, what are the consequences?"
"I'm not breaking up with her." He ran his hand through his hair with a sigh, letting Ryker, for the first time since they were fourteen, play with his hair. "She might be crazy, but I lo- really like her.."
"Did you stop yourself from saying 'love' because you haven't said it to her yet, or you're not sure if you love her?" Ryker quizzed, mindlessly running her fingers through his soft usual curls, noticing by his silence, he didn't love her and didn't know how to say it. "Don't take this the wrong way. But if you shouldn't be with somebody you don't love. I-"
"I don't wanna hear advice from somebody like you." He stated, cutting her off, watching her nod and stop herself from saying 'sorry'
"Somebody like me?" She furrowed her eyebrows and her face had shown her visibly hurting. "Somebody who gets left by everybody she loves. Right..."
Finn looked at her like she had two heads. He was visibly confused. Almost as if he hadn't known she ever loved him before.
"Ryke, that's not-"
"Finn. I don't wanna hear that, that's not the case because I know it is." She chuckled to herself, looking at the ground. "I'm okay with that, too."
"I'll never leave you." Finn promised, looking at the girl who frowned, scoffing as she propped her legs over his on the couch.
"You already did."
Finn simply nodded and frowned, changing the topic. "You know...no matter how things are between us, you can always come to me, right?" His voice came out gentle and quiet. "Always. No matter the time."
"Thanks." She shrugged, looking him in the eyes, staring at the all too familiar brown irises that pierced into hers. "Same here."
"Thank you." He said, a sense of apology coming off his tongue as he looked at her. "You will never be the girl who is unlovable. I promise."
"Thank you...again." She looked at him, her fingers mindlessly playing with the string on her jacket. "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything." He shrugged his shoulders, turning himself on his side to be closer to her.
"I never wanted to stop knowing you." She dodged his eyes, chewing, peeling, and nibbling at her nails. "As pathetic as it probably sounds. I never wanted to be at a stage with you where we're strangers."
Finn looked down, grabbing her hand to stop her from chewing her skin and laced his fingers with hers, taking in her beauty. The way her hair was so long, yet it still laid perfectly without a single knot in it. The way her skin had started getting a darker tan to it because of it being summer. The softness of her hand against his, making him blush.
"I don't wanna be strangers." He said, almost as if it was a promise. "We're not. We have too much history to be strangers."
She simply nodded, forcing a smile on her face as she felt him run his thumb along the back of her hand. His simple gestures being enough to make her heart flutter. She could never lie and say she didn't love him, as platonically as possible.
"I'm sorry I shut you out." He whispered. "I didn't have a choice."
"Finn, it's fine." She promised, running her fingers through his hair gently. "For now, we have a scene to film. We can dwell on the past later."
"I don't wanna get up." He said. "And I don't wanna stop holding your hand just yet."
She chuckled, still playing with his hair, not wanting the one moment they weren't at each other's throats to end.
He pushed her legs off of his own, standing up quickly and grabbing her hands afterward, pulling her up off the couch, accidentally using too much force and pulled her into his body, sneaking his hand into her pocket and grabbing his wolf bracelet back, sliding it on his wrist with a smile.
She nervously looked up at how close they were in proximity and blushed, giggling, backing away from him. He nervously cleared his throat, looking at the floor.
"Let's go."
"Let's go."