C H A P T E R T W E N T Y S I X
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Loyalty was a fickle thing. It could be earned through multiple conditions and circumstances, yet it was devastatingly easy to lose. Some considered that it came in the form of friendship or love or trust or— I could go on for eternity.
However, my loyalty came in the form of self-interest. Well, who was I fooling? That was just my fancy way of saying that I was selfish.
Maybe I would come to regret it one day, but most likely I would not, since regret was a feeling I had only recently become acquainted with.
And I knew these inner musings of mine were only there so I could justify my self-serving actions.
'She would understand my reasoning', I kept repeating to myself as I slipped the note with the transfigured handwriting in between the pages of Walburga's book. It was cruel of me to ignite false hope in the girl with the little piece of parchment that she would come to find soon. And it was especially cruel of me to set her up for the embarrassment and heartbreak that would inevitably follow sue after she would read and act upon it.
I placed the book back in her bag carefully before leaving the dormitory without a trace. I headed towards the Great Hall in order to get food down into my system. And to see if my plan was at work as it was supposed to be.
I heard the echo of shoes clicking against the floor before I felt a new presence beside me. "Good morning, Av!" Her voice was as chipper as ever as she interlocked her arm with mine. Visha was glowing with excitement, her eyes shining in mischief as she gazed ahead at the corridor before us.
"Morning, V." I greeted her with less enthusiasm since I could not bring myself to match the level of her thrill. It did not go unnoticed by the girl and I could see her frown a little from the corner of my eye.
"If this is about Black, I assure you, you should not feel so bad about it. She is a horrible person." She attempted to reason. "Do you know the extent to which she goes to in order to bully young muggle-borns?" When she was met with silence, she sighed in exasperation. "Do you know there is a Ravenclaw second-year who constantly locks herself in the girl's bathroom because she is terrified of what your dear friend Walburga Black and Olive Hornby might do to her? I always find her sobbing in the stall during my Prefect patrols. And she is only one of the many victims."
I shut my eyes in frustration. I did not wish to hear any more of that. "Look, Visha. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better about this, but Wal and I are friends. She has been a good friend to me ever since I came here."
I felt the witch untangle our arms. "So what? You are aware she is only so good to you because of your powerful bloodline? You are Merlin's descendant, of course, she has befriended you! Not to mention she has been noticing the attention that Riddle keeps giving you continuously without you asking for it. She has been chasing after him for years, and he has not even glanced twice her way." She halted in her steps to take in a deep breath and her voice wavered as she spoke once again. "You really care for that kind of person?" Her accusing tone jabbed at me and I had to stop as well so I could turn to look at her.
"Salazar, Visha, do you not understand?" I whisper-yelled, walking so I would stand in front of her. "This is not the matter of who cares for who. This is the matter of the heart of a girl. To use someone's emotions against them is the worst thing a woman can do to another woman."
I watched silently as she lowered her head in response as if understanding only dawned upon her then. "Oh."
"Come. Let us see that everything goes according to plan." I said in a gentler tone and wrapped my hand around hers. She came along without any protests and any other complaints for the rest of our short walk to the Great Hall. We walked through the doors with practised normalcy, making sure to keep our chatter going until we reached the Slytherin table. I quickly scanned the table to find a suitable seat and the outcome pained me internally. The only empty seat that was within Riddle's earshot was next to Avery whom I had run from last night.
As we approached the spot, Visha switched the topic. "So I will see you in Hogsmeade in an hour then?"
"Yes. Do not be late and do not mention the place to anyone." I replied, lowering my voice so my words would sound conspirational to those who were paying attention. And I would bet all my Galleons that Riddle was listening.
"Do not worry. You have my word." She whispered in the same tone before she left me at my table and began walking towards her own. I plopped down the seat with a small sigh and reached for a scone across the table.
"Had a good run last night, Arwen? I never knew you were so into sports."
"Alexander..." I whined, growing more aggravated when he only smirked at me. "I am not in the mood for you. It is too early."
He mockingly placed a hand over his chest. "You wound me."
"Apparently not enough for you to leave me be," I muttered under my breath and took a bite of my scone. As I reached to pick up my goblet, I witnessed the wizard share a glance with Riddle, the latter nodding at him in some form of secret sign. Avery who understood whatever Riddle meant, cleared his throat tentatively and leaned close to my side.
"So, dear Arwen. Tell me, what was that ordeal about with the Ravenclaw?"
And finally, Avery was being useful to my plan.
"What do you mean?" I widened my eyes in a false alarm, before averting my gaze down to my plate to make it appear as if I was avoiding his own. I could feel a pair of eyes analyzing my moves, and I had to resist a satisfactory smile.
"You might think no one heard you but I have the ears of a hawk. Will you not indulge me in your secrets?"
"It is a private matter and nothing that concerns you." I snapped. "Besides, if you do not indulge me in your secrets, as you put it, why would I? Hm?"
This time when he spoke, it was as a whisper in my ear. "I have told you that I am not your enemy. Why will you not trust me?"
"Because you are not his enemy either."
That seemed to snap his mouth shut from any further remarks. He leaned away, seemingly having no more clever or charming words to weave my way. I placed a firm hand on his shoulder as I inched closer to his ear so that my lips would brush the skin of his cheek. It was my turn to whisper to him now. "And do not even attempt to follow either me or Visha. If I find out you did, I will make you pay."
Because I knew by telling a man what not to do would only encourage him to do it more.
When I looked away from Avery, I locked eyes with Riddle who did not seem the very least pleased. The bemusement was poorly concealed on his chiselled features, which came as a surprise to me. Riddle was usually the master of hiding his true feelings behind a cool, stone-faced mask, and for some reason, he had lost that ability.
Or had I grown to know what every line on his face and twitch of his muscle meant?
When his eyes dropped to my parted lips, I had to look away. I had been unable to sleep for the past couple of days because I had been plagued with the thought of him. He had seeped into my blood like an infectious disease, breaking down my mental walls and spreading through the nerves of my brain.
Focus. I berated myself.
I continued to eat the rest of my breakfast as if nothing just transpired between us, ignoring the slight, uncontrollable tremble of my fingers. Once I had taken sufficient bites out of my food, I turned around in my seat to look for Visha amongst the numerous blue-silver robes, and once our eyes met, I signalled her to get up.
As I abandoned my seat, a hand took a gentle hold of my wrist.
Theodora stared up at me with confusion. "Have you seen Wal? It is so unlike her to skip breakfast."
I shook my head. "No. Perhaps she slept in." I replied with a tight smile before I escaped her grip and hurried out of the Great Hall. I did not fail to notice that someone began to trail my steps, and the evenly paced strides gave away the identity of the stalker. Tommy boy had taken the bait.
I smirked as I spotted Visha leaning against the wall, waiting for me. "Visha, you go ahead. I will change first and meet you there." I informed the girl loudly, my voice bouncing off the walls of the empty corridor. With a nod at the girl, I slipped away and took off in the direction of the Slytherin common room, praying silently that Riddle would choose the easy route and follow Visha to the town instead of coming after me. The grounds were fairly empty, most students likely leaving for Hogsmeade as quickly as possible.
If my timing was right, then Walburga would already be there by the time Riddle reached the inn. But for a reason I refused to admit to myself, the thought of them together had my stomach churning unpleasantly.
"Pura-sanguine" I whispered at the wall that was the entrance to the common room, and it swung open before her, revealing a shadowed pathway. I walked in, surveyed the common room to see if anyone was lingering about the place, and once I was satisfied, I practically ran up the stairs leading up to the boys' dormitory.
I grabbed the handle of the door with a shaky breath. It was now or never. I twisted the doorknob before the click of the door being opened sounded in the air and I pushed it open.
The boys' dormitory was underwhelming. And messy. Save for the one spot that was spotlessly clean. His bed was pristinely made with not as much as a crinkle in the sheets, and the table situated next to it was mindfully organized. That was how I knew it was Riddle's space and I did not hesitate before I locked the door behind me and scurried over to his desk.
I had to find his other Horcruxes.
I had no notion of where he could have hidden the objects that contained parts of his soul, so I began opening up the drawers in his desk, looking for anything that resembled an item that would be worthy of accommodating a piece of himself. I was heedful of my motions, making sure everything I touched would return to its original position so that Riddle would not realise something was amiss upon his return. The contents of the drawers were fairly disappointing. Parchments, quills, books...and more books from the Restricted Section that most definitely were not school appropriate.
I resumed rummaging through his belongings, growing more agitated with each place that did not have anything of importance. He had to hide them somewhere, did he not? So where were they?
Anxiety began gnawing at my throat. My plan was about to be foiled. Riddle would sooner or later realise the situation with Walburga was a ruse of mine to get him distracted and he would come barging back—
With a groan, I lifted his mattress and— was that a notebook? I hesitantly reached to grasp it, the plain leather cover of the item feeling cool at the touch. I flipped it over and my eyes fixated on the three words engraved at the bottom of the notebook with gold letters. Tom Marvolo Riddle
I took in a deep breath as I came to the realisation that I had found Tom's diary. But what was more absurd was that Tom Riddle kept a fucking diary.
I held in my laugh of disbelief as I attempted to understand if the object was a Horcrux of his or not. A diary was a personal enough item, you wrote your deepest thoughts and feelings that you would never dare utter aloud, therefore it would be logical to assume it was one. However, at the same time, Riddle was a particular wizard. He would only store his soul in things that held great value to them. Like the diadem. It was an ancient and powerful relic, whereas this diary was a plain notebook.
I opened to list through the pages of the diary, but I was flabbergasted to see that there was not even a drop of ink on the blank pages.
"Revelio," I muttered at the book, yet it was in vain. Nothing appeared, nothing revealed itself.
I could feel the wheels in my brain turning, trying to figure out the mystery behind the object. If this diary was not something significant, Riddle would not have hidden it. Snapping the book shut, I placed it on the table and duplicated it with a little complex Transfiguration spell that I had mastered. I smiled at my own work smugly before putting the duplicate of the book under his mattress. I shoved the original diary into my bag.
As I dusted myself off in relief, my eyes fell on his bedside drawer. I bit my lip in worry as I threw a tentative glance at the door.
"Salazar fuck me." I cursed under my breath. I was not sure if I had much time left, but this was the single opportunity that I could not give up, so pushing the apprehension down, I moved towards the drawer.
I put my palm on the handle, and when I pulled, it refused to budge open.
"Find what you were looking for?" His tone was dangerously calm, with no hint of emotion behind it. I shut my eyes in distress as I straightened my spine at the sound of the devil's voice, right behind me—so close that I could feel his breath fanning the skin of my neck. Close enough for me to have felt the brush of his lips against the shell of my ear. "Didn't your parents ever tell you it is wrong to touch others' belongings?" He asked, and I could sense the mockery in his words as he continued, "Oh forgive me, I forgot they are dead."
"So are yours." I fired back in the same tone.
He inhaled sharply, the action causing his chest to brush against my back, making me sense the warmth radiating off his body. But my breath hitched when he brushed his knuckles against the side of my throat. "It would be so easy to plunge the very same dagger you held against my neck right here. You would die so quickly, so pitifully. But I would not like that. I wish for you to beg for mercy with those pretty little lips of yours. To suffer, to submit...." He exhaled sharply, as if the very image of me down on my knees, giving in to him was his greatest desire. "And only after that, I would allow you to die."
I could not stand not seeing his expression as he uttered these vile dreams of his, so I slowly turned around to face him, tilting my head up to meet his narrowed dark eyes. I found myself staring at the depth of his eyes as they glared down at me, at the way his jaw was clenched in contained anger and his lips that only reminded me of that night in the library. Merlin, if only he was not so alluring. And perhaps it was his tragically beautiful features that possessed me to say my next words. "Do not deny that a part of you craves for me, Tom. I remember the way you kissed me that day all too well."
He swallowed. "Stop."
"Do you not? I saw the fury in your eyes this morning when I leaned a tad bit too close to Avery. I see the way—"
He growled. "Shut up, Arwen."
"And the way you say my name. With such passion. With such emotion." I resumed despite his command. Maintaining eye contact, I placed the palm of my hand on his chest, right where his heart was beating rapidly underneath all the layers. "And the way your heartbeat quickens whenever we are in close proximity."
"I said, shut up!" He slapped my hand away from his body before he wrapped his own around the base of my throat, gripping it so tightly, my vision began to blur. I clawed at his skin with my sharp nails, yet he seemed immune to the pain as he kept adding more pressure to his hold. "You know nothing. I have worked hard to build a great future for myself and I will not have a girl who fell from the sky just burst into my life and crumble it all down."
His face twisted into a dark expression that had chills running down my spine. "I feel nothing for you."
Despite the internal protests of my heart, I surged forwards to connect our lips. It was my remaining attempt at seducing him so I could get away from this mess. He was a man. Men could not control their body's urges, and I hoped the male anatomy would work in my favour. And I was right. It seemed he could not refuse the connection as he kissed me back feverishly. The atmosphere around us was blazing as if our kiss was pouring fuel into the fire that surrounded us. I felt hot, my blood sizzled, and for a second I wondered if I had actually set fire to the room.
I had kissed him to seduce him, but it seemed I had dug myself into a deeper hole because I could not pull away. I could only run my hands through his curls and pull at his hair, as our lips moved in perfect rhythm.
Why could I not keep myself away from his clutches? What was it about him that made my heart lurch every time we touched? I despised myself for doing something so wrong. But could anyone blame me just because it felt so right?
I mustered up all my strength to pull away from him, my breath ragged and my body trembling with desire. I took a step back, and then another to put distance between him and me. And then I saw him reach for me with something that resembled tenderness in his eyes, and I could not help thinking that it looked good on him, almost as good as the look of loathing that he usually donned when he looked at me. I could not handle his expression, so I forced my legs to move and ran towards the door. As I pushed it open, I looked back to see if he was watching me— and he was. But whatever tenderness he had allowed to steal into his expression was snatched away.
"See? A part of you, no matter how small that part is, yearns for me. Do you ever not think what would happen if you allowed yourself to be consumed with that feeling?"
His eyes were cold and distant as he regarded me with a stoic face. Gone was the Tom I dreamed about, replaced with Riddle who I despised.
As I was left without a response, I walked out and slammed the door behind me with force.
We were never meant for each other but I was glad that even for a sheer moment when our lips had touched, it felt like we were.
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A/N:
I literally hate this chapter. Please excuse my poor writing. I had a stressful week.
The next chapter is going to be intense. And will contain more Arwen+Tom scenes, do not worry.
I feel like the engagement on this story is becoming less and less, so I would really appreciate it if y'all would leave a few comments :)
Ok, see ya next Monday babes <3