Atlas POV
I am pissed, I am overworked, I am tired and all I want to do is have a break for once. A break from the feeling of loneliness, a break from overthinking, and a break from being used.
I try and try every single day to be perfect for not only everyone but myself. I have been given a list of flaws every single day and I try to work on them, I try so I feel at peace, I try so everyone could like me.
My manager says I am not enough. My manager told me to get my head in the game, he kept yelling in my face about how much of a failure I am. He reminds me a lot of my father which is why I am so hurt, why I am so pissed, why I'm so insecure.
I keep losing these matches and if I don't win a match then my manager won't get paid and if he doesn't get paid he is disappointed in me.
It is my fault, I tried being selfish for once and it made me lose matches. My mind is filled with images of her, of thoughts of her, and it's making me weak.
It's not her fault so I don't know why I took it out on her. It's all my fault. My fault for thinking I can finally have something for myself. It's my fault for thinking that I could be happy.
I feel so used, so cheap.
I love fighting, it has always been there for me even before my parents passed. It help me think, helped me get my anger out. But I love her more.
My manager told me to pick one, Ivy or fighting.
I already know I am picking Ivy, cause she makes me feel at home. But it saddens me that I can't have both.
stupid brain.
I know I need to apologize to her, for snapping at her. I know that I need to fix us before there is no us. But I am having a hard time getting off this couch. I am having a hard time getting out of my head. I am also so pissed off I don't want to do something I regret. So I wait.
Ivy POV)
Why do I cry so much? Why am I so weak? I have wasted too much mascara over crying. I wasted too much time being sad, crying over everything.
One voice is being raised at me and I am sobbing into my pillow. One little thing and I can't get out of bed.
I am at home instead of being an adult working or going to school because one little thing that wrongs me and the waterworks start.
I don't want to be so vulnerable, I don't want to have soaked pillowcases every day. I don't want people to be walking on eggshells around me because they're afraid of setting me off.
I have cried almost every single day in my life and I am pretty sure everyone that I know, thinks I am a crybaby. That I cry over everything. I am pretty sure everyone thinks I am annoying, maybe that's why everyone keeps leaving or ending up hating me.
I want to say that I can stop that. I want to stop. But I can't for some fucking reason I can't fix it. I don't know why, I want to have a why but I don't.
So I am going to be known as the crybaby.
"Ivy." Atlas's soft voice calls from the other side of the door bringing me out of my thoughts.
I sniffle and run quietly and quickly to the bathroom. I grab a wipe and cleaned the mascara that was under my eye. I took a couple of deep breaths before walking to my bedroom door and opening it.
Atlas looks at me softly, " I am sorry for snapping at you. You are not annoying at all I promise you. I love hearing your voice every single day. I didn't mean it when I said it. This is not an excuse my manager said some things today and it pissed me off and I have been stuck in my head. Please Ivy I am sorry."
"What did your manager say?" I ask.
"The past few matches I have been losing and it's losing him money, today he yelled at me and gave me an ultimatum. He said that I had to choose between illegal fighting or you." He explained.
"Why do you have to choose?" I ask with confusion.
"I can't get you out of my head and it has been distracting me causing me to lose." He mumbles out, " I have already chosen you though, I was just upset because I don't understand why I can't get both."
"If you like what you are doing then do it don't let me stop you," I tell him.
He scoffed and stepped closer to me. He wrapped his arms slowly around my waist holding me in place. "I like you more though. Yes I loved fighting and it has been something I have done for years but you. You are my home, you are the one I prefer."
His eyes dart between my eyes and my lips. Feeling bold I place my lips on his. He smiles into the kiss and pushed us into my room while our lips were still connected and closed the door with his foot. He slowly pushed me until I was laying on my bed with him on top of me.
He disconnected the kiss and started to kiss down my neck, " I am so sorry Ivy for snapping at you. " He continued to say that as he left wet kisses around my neck.
I let out a soft gasp and arched my back a little. " You don't have to forgive me, but I am going to work so damn hard to show you how sorry I am."
"I am going to treat you like a queen." He said before putting his lips back on mine.
I tugged at his shirt wanting him to take it off. He broke the kiss and looked at me for a sec, "Are you sure? We can just continue kissing." He said with concern, his eyes darted around my face.
"I am sure, are you sure?" I whisper and he smiled and nodded.
He took his shirt off and I took off mine. His eyes scanned my torso. I still had a bra on but it still revealed my breasts.
His lips grew into a smile as he knelt down and started to press kisses around my stomach.
I let out some breathy moans as he continued kissing the bare skin. I sat up a bit and took my bra off revealing my tits.
He started trailing his kisses up to my chest. He looked at me with a smirk before bringing his lips to my lips.
His tongue plays with one of my nipples while his warm hand squeezes and flicks the other.
"You are so beautiful." He whispers while sitting up. He tugs the waistband of my pants asking for permission.
I nod my head in response. "darling I need words."
"yes, Atlas." I voice, excited about what he has planned.
He pulls my pants down as well as my underwear and placed his head in between my thighs.
He leaves warm kisses around my thigh slowly leading up to my clit. He places his tongue on my heat.
My back arches and my eyes close slightly rolling. I try to close my thighs but he holds them open while also holding down my hips.
He lets out a groan as I moan out his name from the feeling. He shoves two fingers into me bringing me pleasure.
He thrust his fingers into me at a fast speed while still licking my clit.
I let a couple of loud moans out as I feel my orgasm rising. "Atlas, I am going to cum." I voice as my eyes close.
"go ahead and cum for me, baby." He whispers as he has his fingers go faster.
In just a couple of minutes, I release all over his fingers. He came back up and kissed me. He pulled away and put the fingers that he used in his mouth.
He smirks as my cheeks turn red and butterflies fill my stomach.
He pulled me up and picked me up off the bed. He brought me to the bathroom and sat me on the counter. He turned the water on starting a bath.
"What about you?" I asked noticing the huge bulge in his pants.
"What about me?" He questioned with a smirk, " What about your pleasure?" I ask gesturing to the bulge.
"Darling this isn't about me, today is all about you. I want to show you how sorry I am. I want to earn your forgiveness. We can worry about me another day." He whispers while moving in between my legs. He smiles before pecking my lips.
Once the tub was filled with water he placed me in the bathtub. "Join me?" I ask but he shakes his head.
I pout and laid back relaxing. Atlas let out a small chuckle and shook his head.
"I want to treat you so let me do that." He smirked.
He grabbed my head and pushed it up so I was sitting up. He put shampoo in my hair and started scratching my scalp. He rinsed my hair and applied conditioner and rinsed after a couple of minutes.
-
He was done giving me a bath and unplugged the water. He wrapped a towel around me and walked out of the bathroom. He later came back with some clothes and changed me into them. He grabbed my waist and kissed my forehead before picking me up and bringing me to my bed.
"you know I can walk right," I asked.
"Yes I do but let me spoil you." He replied with a smile.
I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face at his words. "do you want me to order food or make you food?"
"Let's order it," I say while patting the spot next to me for him to lay down.
He pulled out his phone and got on the bed next to me. He was sitting up and I was laying down so I laid my head on his lap. My legs tangled with his my body slightly twisted but in a comfy way, He pulled some hair out of my face and laid his hand on my ass.
I grabbed my phone that was on the nightstand and opened it up. I click on TikTok and scroll through it.
-
"Ivy I need to get up the food is here," Atlas says slightly waking me up.
"Get Olly to grab it," I whine.
"He is asleep I think, he and Lola really went at it." Atlas voices.
I groan sitting up and pouting. He kisses my forehead before leaving my room.
Atlas POV)
I grab the food from the door and brought the bag into the kitchen. I put Olly and Lola's food in the fridge and grabbed our containers. I walked upstairs with them and went back into the room.
Ivy was still pouting but smiled when she saw the food in my hand. I give her her food and got back on the bed. We both sat up and Ivy rested her head on my shoulder as she chewed her food.
"Thank you Atlas, I forgive you." She whispered.
I turn to her with a smile. I pressed a peck on her lips, "You deserve the world Ivy and I am going to forever show you that."
We soon finished eating and laid down. Her head was laying on my arm as we faced each other.
I looked down at her and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Can I take you out tomorrow?" I asked her.
"yeah." She whispered with her eyes closed.
"Goodnight Ivy" I whisper.
"Goodnight Atlas." She smiled.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
authors note,
This chapter is a little short apologies but It has smut in it. I also didn't realize how awkward it is to write smut so I really hope you guys enjoyed it. If you have any feedback let me know so I can improve and make this better for you guys. I love you so much.
Also, side note, there is nothing wrong with you expressing your feelings. If you want to cry, then cry there is nothing wrong with that. Crying actually helps your eyelashes grow.
I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this chapter and this book so far. Comment and vote, please.