Owlbreeze stared at her reflection in the gentle flowing river as she slowly came to terms with what she had realized. She felt a shock in her chest, but she also felt like all the signs had been so obvious. The owl had been trying to guide her to MountainClan since even before Mothflower left. Was I always meant to be with them? She felt a raging storm of conflicted feelings raging in her heart and mind.
"How am I supposed to just leave?" Owlbreeze spoke aloud. "How am I supposed to just leave my Clan? Everyone I've ever loved is in this Clan. My family, my friends, everyone." She stood up, turning in the direction of her Clan. But you wanted this, didn't you? Her own voice spoke in her mind, clawing at thoughts she had kept hidden even from herself for so long. You've been drawn to them ever since they joined the other Clans.
"Yes but--" Owlbreeze flexed her claws anxiously. "I never thought it would be a possibility. MountainClan had a medicine cat, I did what StarClan wanted me to do, that's all that was needed of me. There was no use for me in MountainClan."
There is now. Owlbreeze dropped her head. You've been feeling constantly in the way in SunClan, they won't say it but three medicine cats is too many. Owlbreeze sighed pitifully. "I'll admit it," She glanced longingly over the MoonClan border. "I've thought about being a MountainClan more than once, I felt such a strong bond with Mountainstar, I miss her." I felt accomplished, I felt needed. In SunClan...I just feel like a burden.
Owlbreeze felt the cold air starting to make her shiver and ache. I need to get back home. She thought. I will sleep on this, I need time to think about what to do. She looked at the owl one last time who seemed quiet pleased that it finally got its message to her. She turned her back on the owl and began the long walk home.
By the time she reached her nest her body felt frozen and her lungs were aching. She curled up in her nest, trying to warm herself as much possible. She did her best to clear her mind and sleep and found that despite her racing mind, she managed to fall asleep in a short amount of time.
*****
When Owlbreeze opened her eyes it was not morning, she was back by the MoonClan border with the owl flying overhead. Why am I back here? She questioned silently. I got the message.
"Sorry to pull you back here." Owlbreeze jumped slightly as she heard the voice of Mosscloud. The tortoiseshell she-cat stepped into view, her green as soft as always. "But I imagine you have many questions."
"I don't know if you can answer them." Owlbreeze replied. "I know the message you were sending, I'm supposed to be MountainClan's medicine cat." Mosscloud nodded. "If it was my destiny to be MountainClan's medicine cat why did they bother with having me train Mothflower at all?"
Mosscloud sat down, resting her tail across her paws. "Because it's not your destiny. This was never planned, it was always meant to be Mothflower."
Owlbreeze stared at her in disbelief. "That doesn't make any sense, it clearly wasn't meant to be Mothflower if she left."
"StarClan can't control the actions of cats, Owlbreeze. Mothflower made this choice herself, all we can do is guide and advise. We didn't know Mothflower would struggle as much as she did, even with my training she never had the faith in herself."
"So then why me? Owlbreeze asked once again.
"Because you were the best option. You are already connected with MountainClan, you know the cats there, you are a talented medicine cat and SunClan already has two medicine cats so we wouldn't be risking anything by you leaving." Mosscloud took a deep breath. "I would like you to know, that you don't have to do this, Owlbreeze. It is ultimately your choice, we don't want to force you to do this."
Owlbreeze stared at her for several moments. My choice? "Is it really? What happens if I say no then? MountainClan goes without a medicine cat? That doesn't really sound like a choice." Owlbreeze felt even more conflicting feelings, she felt slightly guilty for constantly questioning StarClan's actions, but she couldn't help but feel skeptical of some of their choices and guidance after all the stress they had put her through.
"If you say no and say you wish to stay with SunClan then we will work with our other options. We have a few other choices like selecting one of the already established MountainClan warriors, or bringing in another outsider and having you train them along with me, but after discussing it with the other StarClan medicine cats the best option we came up with was you, but it is your choice."
Owlbreeze sighed and turned away. "I don't know what to do. How can I just leave my loved ones behind? My parents, my siblings, Honeyfrost, Pebblestep...they're all my family."
"I know how hard it is to be separated from your loved ones, but I would like to remind you that medicine cats live different lives. You would not be a rival, you would live in another Clan but I hardly imagine Dawnstar as being the type of cat to keep you from your loved ones."
"I need to think." Owlbreeze responded. "I'll make my decision when I'm ready."
"Of course, Owlbreeze." Mosscloud mewed. "Take your time, I will be watching over you this entire time."
Owlbreeze said nothing in response, she closed her eyes and allowed the forest around her to fade away. She felt bad for being so curt with Mosscloud, but her patience had run out. My choice, huh.
*****
Owlbreeze woke up back in the medicine cat den, feeling just as tired as she did when she fell asleep. Pebblestep and Honeyfrost were out of the den and from the light filtering in through the den entrance she could tell that it was just before sunhigh. Owlbreeze breathed out a sigh before sitting up.
She took a moment to smooth down her fur and left the den, stepping into the open air of the camp. The air was still cold, but the sky was free of clouds and the sun was shining brightly. The rays reflected off the glittering snow causing Owlbreeze to wince at the brilliance of it.
After her eyes adjusted she looked around camp, and her heart began to ache as she looked at her Clanmates. She saw her parents sharing prey with Cherryleaf and Cloudspots as they laughed and had a pleasant conversation. She spotted Oakpaw, Blossompaw and Rushpaw leaving the camp with their mentors. The SunClan kits playing out in the snow, happily cheering as Sedgefern, Petalbreeze and Dovepool watched them play. SunClan is my home. This is where I was born.
Owlbreeze then thought about MountainClan. She thought about the time she lived with Mountainstar in her home with Tumbleweed and the kits. The memories were filled with happiness and welcoming. She remembered training the soon-to-be warriors all about the warrior code and Clan life. She thought about how grateful Nettleheart was when she treated her wound, and how everyone had welcomed her like she was family after visiting them.
MountainClan also feels like home. Ever since she returned to SunClan she had felt as if part of her was incomplete, as if she didn't belong. She did her best to ignore those emotions and focus on being the best SunClan medicine cat she could be but her entire apprenticeship was spent making mistake after mistake. I felt like my full medicine cat name wasn't earned because I haven't done anything helpful for SunClan. The entire time I've been a medicine cat in SunClan all I've done is get in the way, but with MountainClan...with MountainClan I made a difference. I was needed.
Owlbreeze knew that all of the cats she cared in SunClan loved her, but they didn't need her. SunClan doesn't need me. She closed her eyes, silencing her thoughts for just a moment. Mosscloud said it was my choice. Her eyes slowly opened as she looked over the camp. So I will make my choice. She rose to her paws. I will always love SunClan, but I know where I belong.
Owlbreeze waited by the medicine cat den for quite a long time until both Honeyfrost and Pebblestep returned. "Good morning, Owlbreeze." Honeyfrost dipped her head. "There is something I needed you to do."
"I have to tell you something." Owlbreeze spoke up. "It's..really important." There was a brief flash of fear in Honeyfrost's eyes but she nodded. "Alright, what is it?"
"I need to tell both of you." Owlbreeze looked between both medicine cats. "...and Dawnstar."
"Dawnstar?" Pebblestep looked at her in confusion but Honeyfrost didn't seem too confused, she almost seemed...sad? What does she know? How could she know?
"Yes."
"Well alright." Pebblestep nodded. "Let's go then." All three medicine cats began the walk to Dawnstar's den and Owlbreeze could feel her heart pounding painfully in her chest. Am I really about to do this? How am I supposed to say it? Do I just tell them? I have to.
After a short walk they reached Dawnstar's den where she was sitting and talking with Cinderflame and Lionclaw. "Good morning." The leader mewed kindly upon looking at the three medicine cats. "Did you need something?"
"Owlbreeze says she has something important to tell us and you." Owlbreeze met Dawnstar's gaze and thankfully, Dawnstar caught the desperation in her eyes.
"Alright. Cinderflame, Lionclaw, why don't we continue this talk later?"
"Sure." Cinderflame agreed and padded out of the den while Lionclaw nuzzled Dawnstar lovingly while playfully flicking his tail over Honeyfrost's ears. Once the two of them were gone, Dawnstar sat down and faced Owlbreeze who was barely managing to keep it together.
She felt as it there were stones lodged in her throat and her heart felt heavy, breathing was difficult as she struggled to keep steady. "I don't really know how to begin." Owlbreeze said, her voice stuttering as she avoided eye contact.
"You can tell us, Owlbreeze." Honeyfrost spoke softly.
Owlbreeze took a deep, shaky and almost painful breath before looking up. "I've been thinking about this a lot, and..." The words were almost stuck in her throat. "I've decided to become MountainClan's medicine cat."
"You what?" Pebblestep stared at her in disbelief. "Owlbreeze--"
"Please listen." Owlbreeze raised her voice, she hated cutting off Pebblestep but she needed to speak. "This is something I have thought about since I learned Mothflower left. MountainClan needs a medicine cat. Sickness could set in at any time and they have an expecting queen. We don't have time to find and train a new medicine cat. When I am here, fully trained and not needed as a SunClan medicine cat."
"What do you mean you are not needed?" Pebblestep questioned. "You are always needed in SunClan."
"Maybe, but SunClan already has two fully trained medicine cats and MountainClan has none. Me leaving won't change anything except maybe tasks will get done a little slower. I can't just stand by any longer and ignore the needs of MountainClan. I have felt out of place in SunClan since I returned and I have tried my best to ignore those feelings but they keep coming up, I feel like a burden and like I am constantly in the way. In MountainClan this will not be the case. They need a medicine cat, they need me a lot more than SunClan needs me."
There was a long, painful moment of silence. Honeyfrost stared at her paws while Dawnstar's eyes shadowed sadness. "You sure this is what you really want? Cause I could allow you to simply stay in MountainClan until a new medicine cat is trained."
"Yes this is what I want." Owlbreeze replied to the Clan leader. "Like I said, MountainClan doesn't have the time to focus on me training a medicine cat, I need to focus on keeping the Clan healthy and helping Riverstep give birth to healthy kits. This is the best way. I don't want to leave my loved ones behind, but I know this is what I have to do."
"Honeyfrost will you say something?" Pebblestep spoke up. "Talk some sense into her!"
"I can't do that, Pebblestep." Honeyfrost lifted her head and letting out a sigh. "Since you returned, Owlbreeze, I knew that a part of your heart would always be with MountainClan. You talked about them like they were your family but Earthpelt never did. I did my best to make you feel needed in SunClan, but it is difficult when SunClan has three medicine cats. I did my best to help you thrive, but I could tell that your heart wasn't fully in SunClan." Owlbreeze stared at her mentor, feeling her heart ache as she spoke. "Then when we learned that Mothflower left I knew that it was only a matter of time before you went to them. That is part of the reason why I gave you your true medicine cat name." Owlbreeze's eyes widened. "I do believe you earned it, I couldn't think of another cat who deserved it more." She looked from Pebblestep to Dawnstar. "We can't change her mind, I know my apprentice very well."
Owlbreeze looked at Honeyfrost gratefully. "Thank you." She said quietly.
Pebblestep sighed sadly and walked over to Owlbreeze, touching her forehead to hers. "When you were born we knew you would have an incredible destiny, and that you would do incredible things. You may be a fellow medicine cat but you are still my niece. You will always be my family above all else. I saved your life as a kit, and everyday I thank StarClan for letting me bring you back."
"You'll always be my family too." Owlbreeze said quietly. "Thank you for everything."
Owlbreeze stepped away, looking at the two cats who had given her everything for the last several moons. I'm going to miss them so much. She turned her attention to Dawnstar who looked at her with soft eyes.
"I see your mind is very much made up." She said. "Please know that no matter where you go, you will always be welcome in SunClan. I know MountainClan will be incredibly lucky to have you as their medicine cat. We should tell the Clan, especially your family."
Owlbreeze dropped her head, telling her family would be the hardest part of it all. Saying goodbye to Blossompaw would be the hardest thing she's ever done. Owlbreeze nodded after a few moments and the three of them stepped out into the camp where Dawnstar leapt onto the SunStone. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a Clan meeting!"
Owlbreeze watched her siblings in particular who had returned from their earlier training session, they looked at her in confusion. She turned away, knowing she would have to face them eventually but not able to do it right now. "This is not a meeting I ever expected to hold," Dawnstar began. "But Owlbreeze has come to me and told me something important. She has decided to join MountainClan and become their medicine cat."
Gasps spread out among the Clan and all of Owlbreeze's family ran to her. "What is she talking about?" Briarrose demanded.
"You can't leave!" Blossompaw cried out, the pain in her sister's eyes broke Owlbreeze's heart.
"Let her explain herself." As always it was Rushpaw who spoke up, silencing their family.
Owlbreeze took a deep breath, raising her voice so all of SunClan could hear her. "I've thought about this for a while, MountainClan's medicine cat left them and they need one. Ever since I got home I have felt connected to them, this is my decision and while it's not easy to leave my home and my loved ones, I know it's what I have to do."
"You're not MountainClan's medicine cat!" Blossompaw cried out again. "You can't just leave us. We need you, Owlbreeze! I need you!" Owlbreeze could see pain and sorrow deep in her sister's amber eyes. I'm so sorry, Blossompaw.
"Blossompaw, I will always be here for you. You're my sister and nothing can ever change that, no matter how far apart you are. We will see eachother every gathering--"
"I don't wanna see you at gatherings!" She wailed. "I want to see you whenever I want! I want to share prey with you! You can't do this, please!" Blossompaw's pleading was almost enough to change her mind complete, and while she felt an immense amount of guilt, she couldn't.
"I'm sorry, Blossompaw." Owlbreeze mewed in pitiful defeat.
Blossompaw stared at her for a moment before she turned and ran, vanishing into the apprentice den and leaving Owlbreeze with an aching heart. "Blossompaw is right," It was Briarrose who spoke up frantically. "You can't just leave us, Owlbreeze. You are a SunClan cat!"
"This is my choice." Owlbreeze repeated. "I will always have the blood of a SunClan cat, but I just can't ignore my heart anymore. MountainClan is where I need to be, they need me."
"We need you!" Briarrose cried out.
"You can't just leave." Oakpaw added, she could tell her brother was struggling to process his emotions.
"Look at her." Rushpaw spoke up, stepping forward. "Just because Owlbreeze is leaving doesn't mean she doesn't love us or her Clan." Rushpaw met Owlbreeze's eyes. She could see the same pain in his eyes, but there was also pride and love. She held his gaze for a long moment, incredibly grateful for her older brother. He's always believed in me. He's always supported me. He's never once doubted me. "Owlbreeze is needed somewhere else, we will always be connected to her no matter what. She's no longer the little kit we grew up with, she's a full medicine cat and she has a destiny to fulfill."
"We know you're right." Yarrowtail finally spoke up. "But it doesn't make it any easier." He stepped forward and nuzzled Owlbreeze lovingly. "We know you will do great things." Owlbreeze returned the affection, purring loudly at the love she felt from her father.
Eventually Briarrose and Oakpaw stepped forward, showing her the same support and the four of them surrounded Owlbreeze with nothing but love, but Blossompaw was noticeably missing. I hope someday you can forgive me. Owlbreeze thought hopefully.
"I want to go too." A sudden voice send another wave of gasps throughout the crowd. Owlbreeze stepped away from her family and looked towards the direction, her eyes widened as she saw the voice came from Flamepetal.
"What are you talking about, Flamepetal?" Heatherflight questioned. "You are a SunClan warrior, you always have been."
"I know." Flamepetal sighed, dropping her head as she was approached by her three siblings. "But nothing has ever felt right...not since Willownose died." Owlbreeze recalled the fear in Flamepetal's eyes when they talked. "We lost our parents, and since then I've had no one to lean on for support like you all do. Brackenpelt had Squirreltail, Fawnheart has Turtleblaze and Heatherflight has Flashtail. I have...no one. I have not felt at home in SunClan for as long as I can remember, but I know that I wouldn't survive on my own as a loner or rogue but...watching Owlbreeze talk about leaving, maybe I could finally find a place to belong in MountainClan."
"You can't be serious." Fawnheart spoke up. "Owlbreeze has always been connected to MountainClan but you...you haven't even met them, you know nothing about MountainClan!"
"I know they're full of outsiders. Rouges, loners and even kittypets so why not me? A cat who feels like an outsider."
"Is that what you really want?" Brackenpelt questioned. "To leave?"
Flamepetal nodded slowly. "It is.."
There was a long moment of silent bet ween all the siblings, a silent war waging in their eyes but it was outshined by the determined glow in Flamepetal's. They sighed in defeat. "Then..." Heatherflight touched her muzzle to Flamepetal's cheek. "We will miss you, we will miss you so much. I hope you can find the happiness you're looking for."
Owlbreeze spent more time with her own family while Flamepetal said goodbye to hers. It was an incredibly painful experience, but the love of her family also gave her strength. However, she kept glancing towards the apprentice den hoping Blossompaw would come back out.
When it was finally time, Owlbreeze approached Flamepetal. "I suppose it's time. I'm sure Mountainstar will happily welcome us both."
Flamepetal nodded nervously. "I hope so." Owlbreeze gave her an assuring look before the two of them headed towards the entrance.
"May StarClan light your paths." Dawnstar spoke happily, her voice shaking with emotion.
"Goodbye!"
"We'll miss you!"
"Safe travels!"
Owlbreeze looked over each and every SunClan cat. Thank you. Thank you for giving me a home. I'll always love you all. "Let's go." Owlbreeze turned to Flamepetal and the two of them left SunClan camp for the last time as SunClan warriors.
During the walk to the MoonClan border Owlbreeze answered several questions about MountainClan asked by Flamepetal and the farther they got, the more excited she seemed. I don't think I've ever seen Flamepetal this lively. She thought happily.
"We'll cross through the gathering hollow, it's a bit longer but I think we should avoid MoonClan for now."
"Sounds good." Flamepetal agreed and right as they were about to cross she heard a pained and frantic voice through the trees.
"Owlbreeze!" She quickly recognized the voice of Blossompaw. Owlbreeze barely had any time to react as Blossompaw exploded out from the trees and tackled Owlbreeze to the ground. "I'm sorry!" She wailed. "I should've been supportive, I just--I'm going to miss you so much! You're my best friend!" Blossompaw buried her muzzle into Owbreeze's chest and sobbed while Owlbreeze pressed her whole body against her sister's. "But I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye."
"I'm going to miss you too." Owlbreeze replied, losing completely control over her emotions. "I'm so sorry, I will miss you so much. You've always been there for me, but you'll be just fine without me. We'll always be best friends, we'll always be sisters, no matter how far we go."
"I know." Blossompaw whimpered. "Promise me you'll see me at every single gathering, and visit like Dawnstar said you could."
"I will." Owlbreeze promised as Blossompaw finally let up. "And I know Mountainstar, she will let you visit whenever you want as long as Dawnstar allows it."
Blossompaw nodded, her eyes filled with love and pain. "MountainClan is very lucky to have you as their medicine cat, and I know you'll do amazing things. I love you so much, Owlbreeze. You're my sister forever and always."
"Forever and always." Owlbreeze promised, touching her muzzle to her sisters. "And I know you will be an amazing SunClan warrior, know that I'll think about you every single day."
"And I'll think about you too." Blossompaw said with a small laugh. "Good luck, sister. I know you'll do great."
"You will too." Owlbreeze stepped back, her heart feeling whole once again. I will always be here for you Blossompaw, never forget that. Flamepetal and Owlbreeze painfully bid farewell to Blossompaw and ventured across the river and started the last leg of their journey to MountainClan camp.
*****
"This is it." Owlbreeze told Flamepetal as they arrived at the MountainClan camp entrance. "Careful climbing, you may scrape up your paws a bit but you'll get used to it after a while."
"Alright." Flamepetal nodded and watched Owlbreeze climb up the stone path into the MountainClan camp. Flamepetal climbed with ease after her and the two of them entered the camp. Instantly they caught the attention of Mountainstar and Nettleheart who were sharing tongues under the shelter of the leader's den ledge.
Mountainstar instantly rose to her paws and trotted over to Flamepetal and Owlbreeze. "Owlpaw? And who is this?"
"This is my Clanmate, Flamepetal and it's actually Owlbreeze now."
"Oh," Mountainstar looked at her in surprise. "Well congratulations." She dipped her head respectfully,
"What brings you to our camp?"
Owlbreeze took a deep breathe, she felt no more nerves. She knew that Mountainstar would welcome her and Flamepetal. "I'm here to become your medicine cat." Mountainstar's eyes widened. "Permanently."
"You want to be our medicine cat? What about SunClan?"
"SunClan has two perfectly capable medicine cats, MountainClan has none. Plus, I've always felt at home with MountainClan...it's also my decision to join."
There was a lot of emotions stirring in Mountainstar's golden eyes, but the biggest one was relief. "Well, we will be very lucky to have you." Mountainstar dipped her head respectfully. "I know we will all welcome you." She turned her attention to Flamepetal. "And you?"
"I-" Flamepetal's voice faltered for a moment. "I want to join as well, as a warrior. I've felt out of place in my Clan for a long time, I want something to change."
"Then you are welcome as well, Flamepetal." Mountainstar dipped her head. "We should tell the Clan right away."
Mountainstar walked over to Nettleheart and Owlbreeze assumed, told her what was going on. Nettleheart's eyes lit up and she followed Mountainstar to the top of the ledge. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a Clan meeting!"
Owlbreeze and Flamepetal shared a glance and approached the center of the camp while the rest of MountainClan approached as well. The Clan really was quite small, but she couldn't help but notice Sparrowpaw poking his head out from the medicine cat den. Is he sick? It's a good thing I came when I did.
The cats of MountainClan all looked at Owlbreeze and Flamepetal curiously, but with no hostility. "You all know Owlbreeze," Mountainstar began. "She helped formed our Clan, and she is here with her Clanmates Flamepetal and both of them have made the decision to join our Clan, with Owlbreeze becoming our medicine cat."
Mews of shocks and relief filled the hollow, but Mountainstar continued. "I am happy to welcome both of them, but I also want to make sure all of you are as well. So any cats in favor of these two joining our Clan, say I."
"I!" Every single MountainClan voice spoke in unison and Owlbreeze felt warmed by their welcome. She felt...home.
"Then I would like to do something to make it official." Mountainstar purred, resting her eyes on Flamepetal. "Flamepetal, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and defend MountainClan, even at the cost of your life."
"I do." Flamepetal's voice was steady as she took an oath for her new Clan.
"Then I welcome you as a full MountainClan warrior! As well as Owlbreeze as our brand new medicine cat. We held onto hope, and our prayers have been answered. MountainClan will live on!"
"Owlbreeze! Flamepetal! Owlbreeze! Flamepetal!"
Owlbreeze watched as the MountainClan warriors rushed over to Flamepetal, asking her all kinds of questions about her and Flamepetal's eyes lit up with joy. Owlbreeze let out a purr. Who knew Flamepetal would live a whole new life as well.
Owlbreeze looked away from her new Clanmates as her reality set in. I'm a MountainClan cat now. She thought, glancing up towards the darkening sky and for the first time in moons, Owlbreeze felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt hope.