Alright! We made it. A year and a half later, the final chapter is here. Not gonna lie, I was 99.9% sure I was going to give this up after a few chapters. I had no plan at all with what I was gonna write (still don't to be fair), had never written creatively before, and was pretty much certain, half way through, that this was gonna be yet another unfinished project. But I did it, thanks to you guys.
Thank you so much for all of you that stuck with me and those of you that are still here after the cancellation of the show! Every one of your comments kept me writing, and honestly, I probably would have stopped after that long hiatus if guys hadn't kept commenting and appreciating the story. Love you all! Hope you enjoy this last chapter! Xxxx
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"Shelby, I swear to fucking God, if you aren't ready in," she glanced at her far too glitzy, black watch, "two minutes, I'm gonna-"
Shelby scuttled around the dorm like a agitated spider, "I'm looking for my phone. I obviously can't go without my phone. And also, blasphemy, Toni. What have we talked about? Honestly," she huffed.
Toni waved a hand flippantly. "Yeah, yeah. I know Father Shelby." Toni grabbed a book from the shelf and flipped it open dramatically, tipping imaginary glasses down her nose and speaking in a gruff voice. "Blasphemy!" she exclaimed, "Blasphemy! Is forbidden in the house of Go-"
"Toni," Shelby cried, exasperated, "Will you shut the heck up and help me look?"
The book snapped shut with a little tuft of dust. It was, in fact, a bible in the end. Which somehow felt even more blasphemous. She opted not to tell Shelby.
Taking in the room with the mechanical panoramic gaze of a security camera, she asked Shelby, to condense her search, "Where did you last have it?"
With a frustrated huff, Shelby tossed a unsuspecting tv remote which obviously wasn't what Shelby wanted it to be, to the chair on the opposite side of the room. Then she focused her attention on Toni, piercing her with a stone cold glare.
"Well, obviously if I knew where I last had it, I would have found it by now."
Toni knew she was being reprimanded, and she accepted that, but the second she met Shelby's gaze she completely forgot what for. Even now, after nearly six months of being together and living together, her jaw still dropped to the floor when she remembered that somehow, for whatever reason, Shelby, the absolute goddess in front of her, chose to be with her.
The dress she wore was navy blue with little jewels sewn into the fabric. Or sequins. Whatever the fuck, Toni didn't know, but it was beautiful. Either that or Shelby was so beautiful that she overpowered the ugliness of the dress. Either way, she looked amazing in it. For the hours spent in the bathroom perfecting her makeup and curling her hair so it fell in bouncy little waves, Toni didn't really notice much difference there. She still looked like her Shelby. Although, when the glammed up blonde emerged from the bathroom after literally hours with a sheepish grin, Toni could never say that. If it was worth the effort for Shelby it was worth the boredom of waiting for Toni.
True to form, Toni opted for a tux with a navy tie to match Shelby. She thought it looked okay but when she stepped out of the bathroom, having combed her hair, brushed her teeth and poked herself in the eye with a mascara brush, Shelby tutted, and ushered her back into the tiny bathroom.
Sorting out Toni's make-up only took about five minutes in itself, but the proximity, how fucking hot Shelby looked and the fact that their lips mere inches apart...
Thus ensued the reason they were late in the first place.
"Okay," Toni breathlessly whispered. "Dumb question." She swallowed.
"Are you okay?" Shelby softened, her glare morphing into a look of concern.
"Yeah, sorry. Yep!" She recovered from the sudden heat that had taken over her body and lightened up. A little forcefully. But they didn't have the kind of time for what Toni was planning to do with Shelby. "Let's find this phone!"
Shelby recognised it instantly, her concern melting away with a big, bellowing laugh. She looked like she was going to say something, but was interrupted by a series of immature giggled.
"Stop it!" Toni whined, her ears feeling hot. Fuck, just another thing for Shelby to-
"Oh your ears!" Shelby chuckled, gathering Toni up in her arms. "Oh you're so cute."
Toni grumbled and wrestled out of her grip. "Cute. Perfect. Exactly what I was going for." She soothed her hair down and tried to regain some composure.
The air around them thickened when Shelby turned around to meet her eyes, articulating her words very clearly. "I think we have well and truly established that I can tell when you're not trying to be cute." After a moment of silence, Shelby stepped forward and tucked Toni's hair behind her ear. Okay fuck it. We can be more late. "Unless you're actually just seriously awkward and I've been missing signals all along."
Toni shoved her playfully, the tension in the air dissipating. Thankfully, because they really didn't have time for that. "You could have just left it at the first part. Giving me a little confidence boost and just snatching it away again."
"Gotta keep you on your toes." Suddenly, Shelby frozen, snapping into gear. "Wait! Toes!" She ran off towards the closet.
Toes? Toni decided to just wait instead of asking any questions.
"Aha!" With a flourish, Shelby brandished her phone. Kissing it as she rose back to her feet.
It was then, that Toni experienced jealously towards an inanimate object for the first time.
"Okay, we can go now." Shelby grabbed the door handle, letting Toni out first.
"One question," Toni queried.
"Yeah?"
"Why exactly was your phone in the closet?"
"Well, I had placed it in my shoe so that I wouldn't forget it and make us late," A great plan, clearly. "But then I took different pair of shoes."
Toni chuckled to herself as she locked the door.
Shelby stopped and waited for her, but when Toni turned to face her, her expression was more solemn than she was expecting. "You're not mad are you? That I made us late? I know this dinner is a big deal to you, it's your first dinner with the basketball team, you want to make a good impression and I-"
Toni leant forward, kissing her softly. "No." She pulled away and grabbed Shelby's hand, intertwining their fingers as they walked. "It's actually nice not to be the person always forgetting things all the time."
A squeeze to her hand told Toni that Shelby understood.
They didn't talk about that time in their lives often. Sometimes, Toni would get so frustrated by her inability to remember or sometimes she would have trouble reading which came in episodes now, that she would start crying and was completely unable to stop no matter what anyone said. Just a few weeks ago Fatin had to usher her out of the library because the words of a textbook where blurring together and no matter how hard Toni scrunched her eyes, nothing changed. It had taken an hour for Fatin to calm her down.
Of course, it wasn't all about her post-concussion syndrome, it was what the post concussive episodes reminded her of. A mental scar, on top of the physical ones that she spent a great deal of care and practice avoiding every time she looked in the mirror.
Shelby knew where to and where not to touch her, and that list was getting shorter as time went on. Because you think a panic attack in a library is embarrassing? A panic attack during sex is 100 times worse.
It was getting better though. Not just for her either. The nights that Toni had to rush over to Shelby's bed in the night because she had woken her up shouting in her sleep were becoming few and far between.
Toni couldn't imagine going through it with anyone else though, which was a far cry from what she would have expected the first time she sat down next to Shelby in science class, bitter and broken. But somehow, in Toni's mind, it was almost as though they were made to fall apart together so that they could eventually heal together.
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It was inevitable. The second Shelby's tee-shirt came off, a knock sounded at the door.
Toni buried her head in the blanket. "Fuckkkk."
"Every time." Shelby bit out breathlessly and she angrily wrestled her tee-shirt back on.
Toni sat up on the bed and helped her, knowing that her little angry huffs meant some kind of emotional outburst was impending and highly dependent on Shelby's building level of frustration that increased every time she belligerently tried to shove her head through an arm hole.
Get roommates after college, they said, it will be more affordable, it will be fun!
So far only one of those statements was true.
The door opened, obviously whoever knocked decided they were fed up waiting for actual permission to enter.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Fatin.
"Would you-" Toni finished getting Shelby's wardrobe situation in order. "What do you want?" The venom seeped into her tone willingly. Toni was pissed.
"I can come back later if you two want to keep-"
"It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
Fatin actually had the decency to look a little guilty. As guilty as Fatin was capable of being, that is; the girl was shameless.
At least it was only Fatin. She had caught them in compromising positions more times than Toni could could. Which really says a lot more about Fatin's manners than it does about Toni and Shelby's sex life, seeing as none of their other three roommates had ever caught them before. Except Martha that time a few years ago.
"See," Fatin climbed into the bed, wedging herself between Toni and Shelby. "This is why Leah and I decided not to move in together."
"I'm pretty sure that was 99% Leah's decision." Shelby muttered under her breath.
It was true. Leah was the responsible one. Fatin was ready to jump head first into life with Leah, but, based on whatever they had gone through together during high school, which Toni still wasn't that clear on to this day, Leah decided that they needed to ease into that. Though Fatin will always say that the decision was mutual.
Toni would believe her if she hadn't had to comfort an inconsolable, insecure Fatin the night the decision was made.
Fatin bristled but shook it off quickly. "It was mutual," she replied stiffly. "Anyway! Talking about Leah, she's here now. With Nora and Rachel."
During their last year of college, the group chat had been buzzing with this idea that they after they graduated they would all live together.
No one actually thought that they would, but during the summer they all met up and got trashed and actually came up with a semi formed plan. Nora even financed the whole thing. The odd number was off but when they woke up the next morning, it still seemed feasible.
Things changed later though. Rachel and Nora said that they wanted to live in a quieter house to concentrate on starting their careers, and Leah later said that she didn't want to live with Fatin. Not yet anyway.
So now there were two houses. Each a 20 minute walk from each other. Leah, Rachel and Nora in one, and Toni, Shelby, Martha, Dot and Fatin in the other.
Fatin patted the bed and hopped up, "Chop chop. My girlfriend is here and would be disappointed if she didn't get to see you because you two were too busy fucking. Don't keep a lady waiting." With that she skipped out, leaving the door wide open behind her.
"Well, I guess we better..." Toni rubbed both hands over her face and gestured towards the door.
Shelby still looked flustered. And deeply irritated. "Toni, your friends are-"
Toni whipped her head towards her, "Ah, ah, ah, let me stop you there. Our friends. I don't claim them anymore. You're on the group chat now. No blaming me for this."
With a loud groan, Shelby clambered out of bed and stomped towards the door. Groaning angrily again at it's wide open state before disappearing around the corner.
"Don't be grumpy!" Toni called out, before taking a shuddering, steadying breath of her own and following after her girlfriend.
The kitchen was crowded. It was a pretty small place but it was much nicer than anything they could have afforded on their own. Leah and Fatin were curled up on the couch talking privately to each other. As mad as Toni was, she couldn't deny how cute they were together. Rachel, Nora and Dot were having a heated debate around the kitchen island about who was going to win some survival show that Dot had gotten them hooked on, and Shelby was talking to Martha, sipping on a cup of tea.
Standing in the doorway, seeing all of her friends and her girlfriend laughing, acting like the stressed but so full of love 20 year olds they were, Toni couldn't help but take in the moment.
Even though it was nothing special, it was everything to Toni. She had lost so much but, no matter which way you swing it, she had gained more. She had a family, she had a girlfriend who was completely perfect, she had friends that knew her and cared about her.
They had come so far. Back in high school, when she looked forward all she saw was the same shit she had dealt with her whole life, she would never have believed that she would be the kind of person whose birthday's were celebrated every year without fail, who was hand fed hot soup when she had food poisoning, who belonged in a place that was bright and normal. Someone who deserved love.
And then there was Shelby. Who had been through just as much as her and still came out stronger for it. Who had battled with herself every day of her life just to feel like someone who deserved this life, someone who deserved happiness.
Martha left Shelby to boil the kettle again. Toni walked up to where Shelby was sitting. She stood behind her and kissed the top of her head. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Shelby replied, reaching back and placing her hand on top of Toni's which was resting on her shoulder. "Sorry for being grumpy earlier."
"Don't be." Toni whispered. "Maybe one day we will finally get past first base," she joked.
"It's like we're in high school again."
Toni laughed lightly, "Don't remind me."
Shelby turned around in her seat, her eyes meeting Toni's, "You know I love you, right?"
"Yeah," Toni placed her hands on Shelby's face and brushing her thumb against her cheekbone, "I do."