Sunset... it happens before darkness started to rule the sky. It happens before the moon finally showed up.
Sunset... a sign of goodbye. A beautiful goodbye.
But, it also signifies hope. It also telling us how strong are we to finish a day.
"Wala si Zen?" I asked Arabelle, siya 'yong tumatawag ng ZM kay Zen.
We already know each other because of Zen, sinabi niya rin na wala siyang kahit anong nararamdaman kay Zen bukod sa kaibigan. She's nice and friendly.
"Wala, nurse Sia. Hindi ba nagsabi sa'yo?" she answered. Nasa building nila ako ngayon dahil wala pang reply si Zen sa'kin.
"Sabi niya papasok siya at sasabay mag-lunch sa'min nila Prince pero anong oras na... he's not answering my calls.." sabi ko saka pinilit ngumiti.
"Nasubukan mo nang i-text?" she asked worriedly.
Tumango naman ako, "Not replying."
"Gusto mo bang bugbugin si Zen? Sabihin mo lang, back-up ako." she chuckled as she try to wash my worries.
"Thanks, Ara, baka may emergency lang..." I tried to compose myself as I excuse myself.
I picked up my phone and dial his name again. Out of reach.
"Hoy, saan ka galing? May lab pa tayo after lunch. We only have 10 minutes before time." Prince's brow creased.
"Wala, ano... d'yan lang." I stuttered.
"You looked bothered, okay ka lang?"
"Yup," I beamed, bumili ako ng isang chicken sandwich.
"Hindi ka kakain?" pigil sa'kin ni Llyn, ngumiti ako saka tumango.
"Wala ng time, tara na."
Prince and Llyn told me to eat lunch, sinabi pa nilang hihintayin nila ako pero inaya ko na lang sila sa lab. Mahigpit ang prof namin lalo na sa mga late.
I sighed as I back read to our conversation. Thinking if I did something that might pissed him off or offend him.
Zen Mikel:
see you at school. take care.
Cresia:
yup, see u
ingat siopao lol
saan ka na?
lunch na
Zen Mikel Cruz anong oras na
answer my calls
Luh suplado
Are u good?
We're okay last night. We're damn okay this morning. I don't want to be clingy but this is not his thing. Lagi siyang nagsasabi kapag may emergency, kapag abala siya.
I sighed. Hindi dapat ako nag-ooverthink. Si Zen 'yon, eh.
"Lalim ng iniisip, ah?" Dale interrupted my thoughts. "Okay ka lang?"
Dale's really nice, a brother material. "Yep, iniisip ko lang 'yong exam at namepinning natin." I chuckled.
"Kaya mo 'yong exam na 'yon, easy lang sa inyo nila Erich 'yan!" he cheered. Natawa ako sa kanya dahil sobrang laki ng tiwala niya sa'min nila Erich.
"Nakakabaliw na mga exam natin, saya maging pasyente." I joked.
"Ako na gagamot sa'yo!"
"Sira ka, akala ko pasyente ka na rin sa kabilang ward." I laughed.
"Mga nagsosolo na naman kayo, isali niyo naman kami!" Gill said before putting her hands on my shoulder.
"Sama ka?" Dale asked, he glanced at me and wink, inuutusan akong pagtripan si Gillene.
"Saan? Sige!" she beamed, her eyes are twinkling. Wala na, may na-fall na kay Dale.
"Sige, sabi mo 'yan, ah! Sama ka!" Dale grinned, suppressing his laugh.
"Oo nga, saan ba?"
"Sa hospital.." I shrugged, "bilang pasyente."
"Hayop ka, Guinto. Hindi ka naman ginto kasi 'di ka naman mahal." she winced.
Dale exaggeratedly hold his chest, "Grabe ka naman gumanti!"
"Diyos ko, patahimikin niyo po muna 'yong tatlo." parinig ni Ram sa'min bago mag-sign of the cross.
"Hindi ka naririnig ni Lord, madami kang minus points sa taas." Erich laugh.
Malakas ang naging tawa ni Prince kaya umarte na naman si Ram na aping-api.
"Nakapag-review na kayo? May exam tayo after nito," Prince interfere, nakangisi ang loko palibhasa hindi kailangan ng review dahil matalino.
"Hindi pa.. ano lang, prayers." sabi ni Dale. Siraulo talaga.
"Iba talaga biro ng matatalino, 'no? Prince, ang mga gan'yang bagay ay hindi dapat pinapaalala kapag nagkakatuwaan." Gill said, still laughing and hitting Dale's arm.
"Ang sadista mo na naman!" angal ni Dale bago lumayo kay Gillene. Kawawa naman, namumula na ang braso niya dahil sa kamay ni Gillene.
Natahimik lang kami nang pinapasok na kami sa loob ng laboratory. I wore my gloves and facemask as we start discussing. Kanya-kanyang suot din kami ng lab coat bago magsimula
Since finals na ay ngayon magaganap ang needle pricking namin. Kabado halos lahat sa'min dahil sa takot na magkamali.
Kaharap ko si Prince ngayon na tahimik na nakamasid sa'kin. I smirk and wiggle my brows.
"Ang creepy mo habang hawak 'yang karayom mo, tigilan mo 'yan." he grimaced but I just gave him a mocking laugh.
Llyn watched me and Prince bickers while waiting for her turn.
Using the extra gloves, I tied it in his arm to find his antecubital fossa— 'yung ugat sa harap ng siko.
"Lord, gabayan mo po si Sia." paulit-ulit na bulong ni Prince kaya nakakapikon na.
"Bwisit ka po." I whispered.
He inhaled deeply, "Tangina, nanginginig kamay mo!" he hissed.
"'Wag ka kaya malikot!" angal ko sa kanya. Napalingon ako sa mga kaklase ko, mga kinakabahan din at nanginginig ang mga kamay.
I inhaled deeply before proceeding to the needle pricking. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makakuha ako ng dugo kay Prince. I put it in one tube and labeled it; Ferrer, P.R.
"Hinga na, Ferrer, namumutla ka na." pang-aasar ko kay Prince na mukhang lantang gulay.
Prince didn't say anything and focus on his turn. "Prince, 'wag mo pagbuntungan ugat ko, ah?" biro ni Llyn kaya mas lumalim ang kunot sa noo ng lalaki.
Prince labeled it as well after putting it in a tube; Monasterio, L.
Nang turn ko na ay inabot ko kay Llyn ang braso ko. I'm not afraid to needle kaya naging madali sa'min. Medyo makirot dahil nanginginig ang kamay ni Llyn pero pareho naman kaming naka-survive.
We took pictures after the lab, nag-peace sign pa kami habang pinapakita ang braso namin na may bulak at tape, 'yong kinuhanan mismo namin ng dugo.
I added it to my IG story and tagged them.
Before our next exam I tried to call Zen again. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang hindi ko pa rin siya ma-contact.
"Prince.." I called the guy.
He raised his eyebrow, "Nakausap mo si Zen?"
He shook his head, "Bakit? Nag-away kayo?"
"Hindi..."
He's busy, I guess. Tatawag 'yon kapag hindi na abala. I just hope he's fine.
The exam started, lintik lang na walang awa ang mga major subjects namin. Next week pa naman talaga ang simula ng exam, puro long quiz at final performance lang ngayon.
I passed the exam, napangiti ako kahit paano nakakabawi ako. I messaged Zen Mikel again just to share this.
I saw Lei with her lab coat as well, mukhang kayayari lang ng lab nila.
"Sia!"
"Lei!"
Para kaming siraulo na biglang nagyakapan. We put distance from each other before but that's not the issue now. We're okay now.
"Needle pricking?" I asked even though it's already obvious.
"Yup! Kayo ba?" she answered.
"Kayayari lang." I said, "Katatapos lang din ng quiz."
"Ka-excite mag-duty sa hospital, 'no?" she giggled, I nodded my head and chuckled.
"Sana magkasama tayo, hahanap tayo ng gwapong doctor." I joked.
"Hoy, porke wala si Zen gumagan'yan ka na!" Prince interfere before greeting Lei.
"Oh, nandito ka pa pala? Akala ko sinundan mo na si Phillie, eh!" tumawa si Lei dahilan para malaglag ang ngiti ni Prince.
"Lei, dumistansya ka muna kay Sia. Nakakahawa pala kasamaan ng ugali." Prince groaned in annoyance.
"Mas masama ugali ni Phillie, bakit gusto mo?" biro ko, hindi naman masama ugali ni Philomena Isle, pang-asar lang talaga. But she's Phillie because she love pestering us whenever we're together. And I love that crazy girl because of that.
I chose to stare at my ceiling as my thoughts go deeper and deeper. I'm still waiting for Zen's message. Hindi ko na dinagdagan ang text sa kanya dahil ayokong isipin niya na sinasakal ko siya.
I waited until my eyes couldn't take another time to wait. I waited until I fell asleep.
The continuous ringing of my phone serves as my alarm. I covered my body with my blanket and closed my eyes tighter but my phone keep on ringing.
"Hello?" bangag na sagot ko. Eyes still closed.
I heard a muffled chuckle in the next line, "Good morning, sleepyhead."
Gulat kong minulat ang mata at agad tiningnan ang pangalan ng kausap ko.
"Zen?!"
"Sorry about yesterday, I had severe headache and mama took my phone so I could rest." he explained, wala pa ako sa wisyo kaya hindi pa nag-re-register sa utak ko ang lahat.
"I told them to at least text you pero busy din si Mama dahil nagkasakit din si Mika. Sorry for making you worry, Cresia."
"Huh? Wait lang, hindi ko gets." angal ko dahil para na namang naglalangoy sa kalawakan ang utak ko.
I heard his laugh, "Uh-huh. Good morning, too." he teased.
"Zen, do you know what time is it?" I said. "It's freaking 5:45 in the morning. Zen naman, alas-dose pa pasok ko!" reklamo ko pero natawa na lang din ako kasi tumatawa siya.
Marupok.
"Okay ka na?" I asked, "Sana naman hindi mo pinipilit kumilos lalo na 'pag may masakit pa sa'yo. If they told you to take a rest, pahinga. 'Wag makulit." I nagged.
"Yes, doc. Okay na po," he chuckled.
"'Wag ka muna pumasok? You should rest, you know?" I suggested, knowing this guy, he's also grade conscious. Attendance is important to both of us.
"Nah, I'm good now." he answered.
Nagkwentuhan pa muna kami bago ako lumabas ng kwarto para mag-ayos. Tinext ko rin si Llyn na samahan ako sa 7/11 mamaya para bumili ng Gatorade para kay Zen. Naglagay na rin ako ng biogesic sa bag para may mainom siya kung sumama ulit ang pakiramdam niya.
I am really hoping that he's not overworking himself. I know he knew his limits, unlike me, but that guy is sometimes can be a hardheaded.
"Stop babying Zen Mikel, Sia." umirap si Prince sa'kin nang makita na may dala akong Gatorade.
"Eh, kung ihampas ko sa'yo 'to?" angil ko sa kanya bago lumapit sa kaibigan niyang nananahimik sa likod na may kalayuan sa'min. Wala na namang pakialam sa mundo.
"Sungit, kinaganda mo 'yan?" he fired back. Loko 'to, ah! Namersonal bigla?!
"Bakit 'di ka crush ng crush mo?" I tsked.
"Bastos ka naman!" he groaned.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at inabot kay Zen ang dala. "Drink this, siopao." I said, he looked shocked to see me.
"Cresia... sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to ignore your texts." he explained again.
"Okay lang, how are you?" I sat beside him.
"Better than yesterday," he smiled and took the Gatorade in my hand.
I put my hand against his forehead to check his temperature. The smile fade in his face as he stared at me.
"What?" I creased in confusion, "I'm just checking your temperature."
"I already memorized your face but I still want to stare at you to remember it." he absentmindedly said, my mouth hang open as I stare at his eyes.
Tama bang sabihin niya 'yon habang chinecheck ko ang temperature niya?!
"H-hoy, ang aga pa para mangharot." umiwas ako ng tingin. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko dahil sa pinagsasabi niya. Ano ba, Zen Mikel Cruz!?
He chuckled softly, I put down my bag and books because it's heavy. "You made me worried, but I'm glad you're feeling better now."
"Sorry, wala sa'kin ang cellphone ko. Nakalimutan yata ni Mama na i-text ka dahil may lagnat din si Mikaeyla." he sighed.
"Okay nga lang, ako lang 'to." I tapped Zen's shoulder as if I'm sympathising.
"What happened to your arm?" he hold my arm, may pasa do'n dahil sa pagkuha ng dugo kahapon. Hindi naman masakit.
"Needle pricking," I shrugged.
Lumapit sila Llyn sa'min kaya naglakad na rin kami papunta sa room. Hinatid namin si Zen sa building nila dahil mauuna naman siyang umakyat kaysa sa'min.
Nakita ko si Arabelle kaya kumaway ako, she waved back and scrunched her nose.
"Text me if something happened." I said and patted his shoulder before waving my hands.
He nodded and smile, "See you later."
The next days were good, my exams are done. Nakapasa naman. Grades na lang ang wala.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko habang nakatingin sa sarili ko.
This is the first time I wear my white skirt and white top with my white shoes. I tied my hair in a low bun and put my white cap.
This... is the dream.
Lo, malapit na. Konti na lang magkakaroon ka na ng apo na nurse.
"Gago, congrats!" Phillie clung onto my arm.
I chuckled, she's here. Silang tatlo nila Reanne at Xyrill. I'm happy they're here to support me... hindi ko nga alam kung walang klase 'tong mga 'to ngayong araw.
"Hindi ako iiyak for today's video." I joked and wiggle my brows.
Wala namang kahit anong make up sa mukha ko bukod sa sapilitang lip tint ni Mommy.
"Akalain mo 'yon, mukha kang matino 'pag 'yan suot mo." Phillie grinned, siraulo.
"Ngayon ko lang nakita ng gan'yan si Sia." turo ni Xy sa buhok ko. They knew I hated tying my hair.
"Maaliwalas mukha niya 'pag nakagan'yan. Sure ka na d'yan? Hindi ka magiging pasyente?" Reanne said, grinning as well.
"Libre na kayo 'pag gusto niyo ng check up. Ooperahan ko kayo ng walang anesthesia." sabi ko bago kuhanin ang cellphone para matawagan si Uncle.
"Mukha kang matino, ah?' he joked, I wince. Mukha ba akong hindi matino?!
"Grabe na kayo, mukha ba akong siraulo dati?" I gasped.
"Oo," halos sabay-sabay na sagot nila Uncle, Reanne, Xy at Phillie.
"Grabe, ah!" reklamo ko pero agad ding namatay 'yon dahil natawa ako.
"Oh, nasaan ang boyfriend mo?" pinandilatan ako ng mata ni Uncle.
Nasanay na rin ako na laging package si Zen at ang salitang boyfriend. Lagi nga naman kasi kaming magkasama at magkausap kaya siguro gano'n ang iniisip ng mga kamag-anak ko.
"Wala pa dito," I shrugged my shoulders. Hindi naman pupunta dito sa bahay si Zen, he'll go straight to university.
Nagtext kanina, congratulating me. Pati sila Prince sa GC ay excited dahil first time namin magsuot ng pure white uniform. Madalas kasing civilian ang suot namin dahil wala kaming uniform.
Next sem ay may duty na kami. I can't feel anything but excitement.
"Pakausap nga sa mommy mo." utos ni Uncle kaya pinuntahan ko si Mommy sa kusina.
Bumalik ako sa mga kaibigan ko na may kanya-kanyang ginagawa.
"Ngayon din ang ceremony nila Lei at Reina?" umayos ng upo si Reanne at tumingin sa'kin.
Tumango ako at tumabi sa kanila. "Oo, makikita niyo sila do'n." I shrugged.
"Kumusta sila?" tanong ni Xy sa'kin.
"Okay lang, si Lei lang naman ang nakakausap ko dahil may ibang kasama si Reina."
"Kayo may gan'yang event, sa'min yata paghahaluin lang kami ng semento." Reanne frowned.
"Kami sa finals pa ang gan'yang event." sabi ni Phillie.
We're studying different courses but we never underestimated each hardships. Hindi namin sinasabi na 'buti nga kayo...' kasi alam naming mahirap lahat.
And saying those words are just the same with invalidating someone's emotion. Imbes magtulungan at i-comfort ang isa't isa.
Some students are thinking that some of college courses are easy, na puro chill, but it's not. Lahat susubok sa pagkatao mo. That's adulting. Pahirap nang pahirap.
"Buti nga kayo may event, eh. Kami wala, puro research!" Xy grimaced.
I sighed. "Ang gastos, Xy. Ang daming contribution na kailangan."
Gusto ko sana itaas ang paa ko kaya lang naka-skirt ako.
Sa van kami sumakay para less hassle sa byahe, traffic pa naman minsan. Puro kaming apat ang maingay dahil hindi naman kumikibo si Kuya Bryle at Mommy.
Wala si daddy dahil may duty. I almost run when I saw my friends. They looked good with their uniforms.
Wala si Llyn dahil kasabay niya si Tita at Tito. Inaya namin pero tumanggi sila kaya hindi kami sabay.
"Cres!" Gill beamed at the sight of me. I waved my hand and greet them.
Wala pa si Prince kaya kulang pa kami ng isa. Their eyes are twinkling because of excitement. I can sense the nervousness and excitement at their gestures. Same with my classmates and blockmates.
Lahat masaya. I can say that our hard work are paid off. Malayo pa kami sa destination namin pero nakalayo na kami para huminto.
We witnessed so many sunsets to give up to see another. Ilang paglubog at pagsikat na ng araw ang natunghayan namin para sumuko at mawalan ng pag-asa.
College life... or this life isn't a race. It's a process. Walang mapag-iiwanan dahil may kanya-kanyang phase.
"Naks, mga walang bakas ng iyak dahil sa exam, ah!" I joked and clung my arm onto Gill's arm.
"Worth it iyak ko noong nakaraang araw!" Erich crossed arms as she defend herself.
Naiyak siya sa dami ng gawain namin. Idagdag pa ang nakapatong na resposibilidad niya bilang president namin.
It's too much but my load of works became easier because Zen and I were compromising. We're helping each other to complete our requirements and some school works. Hindi rin naman namin hilig lumabas dahil pareho kaming tamad umalis.
It's like he's the best moral support I have. Minsan din kasi sa bahay ay hindi ako makapag-focus dahil sa away nila Mommy. His mom likes to invite me to taste her pastries, doon na rin ako minsan gumagawa ng mga assessment at written output. Pinapayagan naman ako ni Mommy dahil si Zen mismo ang nagpapaalam para sa'kin.
Nauna pang maging legal kaysa label. 'Yon ang naririnig ko kay Prince lagi. Nagpaparinig.
Bumalik ako sa mga kaibigan ko para ipakilala sila Gill. I also introduced my mom to them. Magaan kausap sila Dale kaya naging magaan ang paligid.
I saw Zen with Prince and his mom. I waved my hand and greet them. Nagmano na rin ako sa Mama ni Prince dahil ilang beses na rin naman kaming nagkita, ilang beses na rin kasi kaming naging magkagrupo ni Prince kaya nakakarating ako sa kanila kasama sila Llyn.
Zen and I didn't have anything to say but the moment I laid my eyes on him, he was already smiling and as if waiting me to look at him. I smiled, too.
The ceremony started at 10 am. It's not even boring no matter how long our Dean's speech. Masaya pakinggan na masaya siya para sa'min.
Mas lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko nang magsimula ang pagtawag sa pangalan namin. I gulp the lump in my throat and take a deep breath before standing up.
"Aragon, Cresia Faith F."
Umakyat kami ni Mommy sa stage, she put the name plate on my uniform and smile at me. I hope I made her proud.
It run for about two hours, ngayon din kasi ang ceremony para sa mga third at fourth year.
May ilan pang maluha-luha habang nakatingin sa name plate at pin nila, lalo na sa mga senior year. Kita sa mata nila ang hirap pero nandoon din 'yong saya dahil mahal nila ang ginagawa nila.
"Kaunti na lang..." Zen whispered. Tumango ako. Kaunti na lang.
May picture taking pa na naganap sa venue. Of course, Gill insist to take some pictures with us.
May picture rin kami ni Mommy, kaming magkakaibigan, at kami ni Zen. Isesend ko ang mga 'yon kay Uncle at kuya Calyx.
Some of my classmates are going to celebrate. 'Yong iba gusto na lang umuwi at magpahinga— isa na ako do'n.
My friends stayed with me, gano'n naman talaga ang celebration namin. No fancy celebration at all. Usap lang. Si Zen naman ay pinasama ko kay Prince dahil may celebration para sa kambal. Inaya kami ni Prince pero tumanggi ako dahil kahit walang ganap sa bahay ay gusto kong nandito ako.
"Happy?" Reanne wrap around her hand in my waist.
"Oo..." mahinang sagot ko habang nakangiti.
This time... genuine.
"I'm so proud of you..." she whispered.
"Proud din ako sa'yo... sa inyo."
"Mawala na sa'kin lahat, 'wag lang ikaw." she chuckled.
"Hindi naman ako mawawala, depende na lang kung sunduin ako ni Lord." tumawa ako.
"Hindi ka sure kung si Lord ang kukuha sa'yo. Malay mo pababa pala ang hagdan." biro niya kaya natawa ako.
"Magrereserve ako ng seats para sa inyo." I grin and lean on her.
"Wow, hanggang kamatayan talaga plano mo kaming isama." tawa ni Phillie saka umakbay sa'min ni Reanne.
"Till death do us part daw, Phillie. Paunahan na lang." sabi ni Xyrill na lumapit sa'ming tatlo.
With them, I'm not worrying about another sunset because I know, we will welcome another sunrise. Together. Always.