She didn't know when she had lost her breath after sensing the Barkindo's mansion. Every organ in her body moved with the knowledge of what had happened and would likely repeat itself in this same mansion. She didn't know what the heavens had in store for her, but how could she let the same thing happen to her twice? It was said, once beaten, twice shy, right? Then why didn't she pay heed to that.
At first, she really thought that she could be adamant enough for Anas to leave her in Damaturu. But instead, he chose to manipulate his ways into bringing her back to the hell specifically created for her, all thanks to his family. And he used Waleed as his arrow to shoot at her, which worked, by the way.
She sighed and palmed her face. In less than two minutes, she'd be in that house and everything would be back as it used to be. From where would she start creating the thick skin she could use to endure all there was to come? Yes, she knew she had endured enough from Dahiru himself, but what she had endured from him was so much different from what she'd have to encounter now, just that the emotional pain might or mightn't be on the same level.
To her surprise, Zaid parked by the side and turned to Anas with a knowing look in his eyes. Anas nodded and got out of the car. At first, she thought they were coming back home with only Anas but he surprised her by driving them there himself and what was the meaning of what he was doing now? In this neighborhood?
"Waleed? Come let's stretch our legs for a minute, we're almost home." She abruptly turned to where Anas stood by Waleed's door as he waited for the boy to come out so they could leave. Which was a planned thing because she saw the look exchanged between the two guys.
"Where are you taking him?" She couldn't help but ask, and her voice nearly scared her. She was so exhausted to the core that she couldn't even blame herself for sounding this way. And then there was the pain.
"I'm not going to kidnap him, Beeha. Not when we're few feet away from home." He answered her with a soft and cajoling smile. "Come on, Waleed, I'd buy you some chocolate from that shop, okay?" She watched, wordlessly, as Waleed got off the car and they walked away, leaving just the two of them.
And what was the meaning of this? She wondered. And right now, she didn't even want to associate with this guy, she simply wanted to be on her own. But when he turned from the driver's seat and their eyes mistakenly met, she felt as the hatred she had for him recoiled in her chest. He caused everything for her. It felt a bit better, for at least, she had someone to blame now.
"What's the meaning of all this?" She asked with a serious expression, with her eyes that had turned puffy and he gulped down a lump in his throat.
"I wanted to have a talk with you. Can you please listen to me for a minute?" He spoke with so much authority laced on his tone that she wondered who the hell this boy thought she was.
Yes, she might've been a people's pleaser so far. No, that was an even better word for the kind of person she had been so far. But she only become that when she knew being submissive was the only way she could survive from the hands of those people. And who was he in her life? No one. Pretty much a life destroyer and a presenter of agony.
"And who do you think you're speaking to in that tone?" Because she needed to know how he got the nerve to speak to her in that manner. He might've seen her at her worse, but there was no way she could take so much from him. "In case Anas didn't tell you, I'm ten years older than him. I don't care whether you're older than him or not, what I do know is, I'm older than you at any cost. And you can't speak to me in such manner, not after you've destroyed my life and bought me a ticket of misery for the next only god knows years, okay?"
Speaking about it brought tears to her eyes, but she needed to make her point clear with this guy, so she gulped her tears down and faced him with so much determination and will to portray her anger and hatred through her eyes.
He sighed and palmed his face for a nanosecond before he spoke. "My name is Zaid Abdulkarim Shitu. I'm twenty three years old, same as Anas."
She wondered the use of telling her his name, for what? So she could have in mind the name of the person she'd never forgive or what? She scoffed and looked away from his face. "And so? That pretty much confirms my thought about the ten years age gap between us. What you did to me is now irrevocable, no matter how I'd love to go back to my matrimonial home, I couldn't. So, I'd love to hear what you have to say and get back into the life I was lucky to be taken out of, which you shattered for me, by the way."
He chuckled humorlessly. "Matrimonial home, you said?" The glare she sent to him didn't even seem to faze him. "That was practically the worst kind of prison you'd have ever been ensnared into and which may one day, likely turn to your death bed, if I may add."
"It might or might not happen, but what's yours to worry over it? What's your own motive behind all this? Did someone ask you to do it? Do they have a new plan for my life? Maybe they've noticed that it wasn't as painful for me as they thought it could be?"
"Who're they?" He was silent for a minute before the question came out of his mouth and he had his eyes fixed on her face that she wished she had enough physical strength to smack his face so hard that his head could hit the steering wheel and maybe then, she might feel a bit relieved about all this.
"That's none of your business. Just know this one thing, I'd never forgive you for this. For all the times I'd be called a divorcee, for all the times I'd have to cry myself to sleep, for all the times my heart will squeeze with so much pain that'd be too much to bear, I'll never forgive any of it. You have no idea how much misery your simple immature act had brought into my life, and I sincerely wish I'd never have to see you again in my life, because it'd always be a painful reminiscence."
He softly gasped and fixed his eyes in her, Sabeeha wondered what he meant by looking at her that way. As if he had expected her to rain thanks on him and tell him how grateful she was to him for taking her out of that dungeon she had been ensnared into. Little did he know that that dungeon was a safe haven for her.
He opened his mouth to speak when she beat him at it, finding out that her tears had betrayed her and they were flowing down her cheeks. "If you could just shut your childish mouth and have us driven to our destination. If not, I'm sure the Barkindo Mansion would be fifty feet away from here, it wouldn't be hard to walk." She said softly, all the urge to fight exhausted in her.
She was aware of how he had fixed his eyes on her for more than a minute before he sighed and fished his phone out of his breast pocket. "Let's leave, Anas." He called out, with a voice choked withe emotions and she was sure he had things to say to her, just that he didn't see the chance to. And she'd never be able to give him that chance.
When he wanted to speak to her, what did he expect? She closed her eyes and leaned back on the seat, determined to enjoy the few moments of peace she had left. Because once she set her feet into the Barkindo's, she would never know peace. Nor even this silence she was so much appreciating.
∞
No matter how Zaid wanted Anas to let him lodge in a nearby hotel, he didn't. He begged and emotionally manipulated him into staying at their home and now, here they were. They had all come out of the car and where staring at the humongous and exquisite building that stood so tall and rigid.
"I'll move to your chamber, then." He informed Anas and was about to turn to leave when Anas pulled him to the other side and began speaking to him in a hushed tone.
"Where do you think you're going, Zaid?" He asked, and if before, he hadn't notice how nervous Anas was, he did so now.
"What do you mean? I'm dying to take a shower and have some sleep. If you could ask any of the maids of make something to eat for me? I'd really appreciate that before I sleep."
Anas tugged at him arm once again. "Mommy didn't know what happened in Damaturu. She didn't know that Sabeeha has been divorced. I don't know how to break the news to her because she has warned me not to visit her, Zaid. I'd need your help up there." His eyes momentarily lifted to the building, where Mommy's chamber was located.
"What do you mean? Why do you sound so nervous about it? Anas, if your sister thinks we made a mistake when we had her divorced from that bastard, I'm sure your Mom wouldn't think so. She'd even applaud our thoughts. No one would want to see even a stranger suffering from what she was, right?"
Anas was silent for a while. "No one, but that's exactly the kind of life they want to see her living." He sighed and rubbed his hands on his eyes. "I can't say much, just do me this favor and let's walk in there together? You'd see everything for yourself." He chuckled painfully while shaking his head. "Well, not everything, maybe a fraction of it will do."
Zaid couldn't understand what these two mean, but he wanted to find out. He wanted to know if what she was saying about him bringing her back to the worse hell she'd ever lived was going to be true. So, they walked together to the building and he didn't miss how she was being hesitant about it all. It was Waleed that was slightly pushing her forward.
They took the stairs and went directly up to Mommy's living room. A luxurious living room that spoke so much of the exquisiteness of the woman that owned it. She was watching an evening program when they walked in with a Salam on their lips. His eyes were fixed on Sabeeha, she had her head ducked down and if he was right about it, her body was shaking slightly.
Mommy looked up to them with the brightest smile. "Ah, the newest corpers in town, when will the allawee land?" She joked and it was only Zaid that chuckled a bit.
He watched the exact moment her expression changed and the fork she was nibbling on the fruits in front of her slacked before she placed it back on the tray. That was the exact moment she had laid her eyes on Sabeeha. She straightened her back and it was as though all that brightness on her face had been evacuated.
"Who the hell am I seeing?" She thundered, and for a split second, Zaid thought he had never seen this woman before. She had changed in what? A matter of seconds.
Sabeeha's body shook and she pulled Waleed closer to her, taking some steps back. "Good evening, Momm-" she quickly stopped herself, as though she had remembered something she should have. "Good evening, Hajia," she greeted, with her knees going south until they kissed the floor and she pulled Waleed along with her.
Utterly bewildered, Zaid watched as the event unfolded before him. What was the meaning of all this? Did she...? He turned to look at Anas to get the meaning of what had just transpired but he wasn't looking at him, he was walking towards his mother with the most pleading look in his eyes.
"Mommy, can you please wait and listen to us for a minute, please?" He pleaded and Zaid was tongue tied, because, what the hell was going on?
He turned to Sabeeha and found her crying so much as though her heart was being plucked out of her chest. And then slowly turned to Anas that had knelt in front of his mother. None of them did wrong, right? Why were they acting this way?
"Mommy, you have to listen to me first before you take any action, please. I'm sorry, but I went to see Beeha in Damaturu." He confessed, and the kind of look she threw at him made him move back a bit.
"I can see. And that's why you felt it's right to bring her back to my house? Anas, I won't go easy on you for this." She clamored and Zaid couldn't take the next words, whatever they were, that were going to come out of her mouth.
And so he did what Anas begged him for, even though not directly, he interceded. "I'm sorry for interceding this way. But you need to listen to me for a few seconds, please, will you?" Even though she had this long and dark look on her face, she nodded at him to proceed, and so he took the cue and proceeded.
"When we first visited her, she looked fine and okay. But later at night, a call came..." His eyes slightly met that of Sabeeha's crying ones and she ever so lightly shook her head at him, and she didn't even have to voice out her plea, he could see that out and clear in her eyes.
He gulped down and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Whatever the hell was going on here? He was confused as hell. Nevertheless, he'd keep on going on and see if he'd be able to protect her and also his friend from the wrath of this woman he no longer recognized.
"We went back at night to take the promised gift to Waleed and that's when we saw her. She was a crumpled pile of agony. He had beaten her black and blue and had basically kidnapped Waleed because she had refused to sign the adoption papers of Waleed for him. That's when we rushed her to the hospital and I called the cops on him, so we could get Waleed back. Then he divorced her, with three talaqs. I requested for the divorce as well, because there's no way she could continue to live with someone like him, he might kill her someday."
Mommy had this unreadable expression on her face while he spoke, and the reaction he had expected to get from her wasn't the one he did. He thought she'd be enraged at the kind of treatment Sabeeha had gotten from her husband, but rather, she was enraged at them both.
She turned to Sabeeha that was still on the floor and flashed out a witchy grin. "You're welcome back, Zawara." Zawara was another word for Bazawara and if he could clearly remember, that was one of the things Sabeeha feared the most, to be called a divorcee over and over again. And he didn't expect that the first words she'd get from this woman was that.
He opened his mouth to speak but Mommy beat him at it. She looked up at him with the fakest kind of smile. "You've done so well, Zaid. It's the end of the month already, Daddy would likely wouldn't have to pay the worker's salaries again. Who knows? It might take more than a few years now."
He watched as Sabeeha clenched her eyes shut and ducked her head down as she cried even further. He didn't know what that meant or the intensity of what he had done. But just now, he knew it was going to be pretty bad for her. And he wished...oh, he so wished he could protect her from the storm raging at her.
She turned to Anas with now a calm smile. "You've done well, Anas. I've been getting bored lately, I guess it'd be fun now, what do you think?"
Zaid couldn't recognize this woman. He wondered where that calm and loving woman had went to. The one that gave them an earful. The one that laughed at their shenanigans and threatened to report them to their school, where was she?
"You can go back to your old room and clear it up, it has become a storage for Minal's unused things, make sure not to damage any of her items. And for your child, take him to Audu gateman's room, he should be staying with him henceforth. I can't allow that ten years old to stay in my house, mingling with us." Sabeeha's head instantly shot up and Mommy shot her a look. "What? Do you have an objection about that?"
"Mommy, Waleed is still so young..." Zaid didn't know when he spoke but she didn't even look at him. She turned back to the TV screen and picked up her fork to continue eating, as though nothing had happened.
"Get yourself out of this, Zaid. And you, get to work right this instant. Dinner should be ready in an hour and tell all the workers that I'd see them later." That was all she had said before she acted as though they were non existent in the house and when Zaid turned to look at Sabeeha, the look he saw in her eyes was the most painful look he'd ever seen in his life. And at this rate, even he himself wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
And for that, he vowed to protect her.