"All-terrain wheelchair," Becky remarked as Seth helped her navigate the heavily wooded trail. "That's pretty cool." The path was far too bumpy for her to manage as a novice user, but Seth was happy to help guide the chair for her. They were at the back of the pack, and the werewolves ahead of them were removing fallen branches whenever they came upon them, clearing the way for Becky's wheelchair.
"Vida's got a lot of cool stuff in development. Wish she designed cars." Seth adjusted his go-bag on the wheelchair's back.
"Maybe she does." Becky reached up and patted his right hand. "Seth, if you don't want to...." Vida and everyone else had been so focussed on Becky's decision that they all seemed to neglect Seth's part in it. Given her limited options, having Seth turn her seemed like the natural choice, but Becky wanted to make sure he was comfortable with it. "You don't have to. I don't even have to be here. I can wait back in the van...."
"No." When one of the other werewolves looked back, Seth waved them ahead. "We just need to chat for a minute. We'll be right there." Then Seth knelt in front of her chair. "Becks, you know I love you. I'd like nothing more than for you to be a wolf and run with me. But... I just hate that it wasn't your choice. I wanted this to be something you asked for, not something you... needed."
Leaning forward, Becky kissed him softly. The forest was gloriously thick and dense, and Becky couldn't remember the last time she had smelled air that was so clean. "For what it's worth, I would have asked in my own time. It just would have taken me a while to get there. I didn't want you to ever feel... like you had to. And I still don't. If something happens between us, I'm not going to hold this against you. Ever."
"You're still nervous, though." Seth slid a hand into her hair. "I mean, I understand why. I do. But... like I said, I just wish this was all happening differently. Just us, not a pack. No injuries, no rush, just... us."
"We'll get there," Becky assured him. "We didn't exactly have a conventional start to our relationship, remember? The only difference is that we could tell a funny story about it. This is going to be a bit harder to explain."
Seth nodded slowly. "And Hunter's going to kill me," he added dimly, "and I don't think he'll be nearly as quick about it as the pack was with Maggie."
"Roman will put in a good word for you. His status has to count for something, right?" Becky kissed him again before tapping his arm. "C'mon. No matter what else happens, you deserve to enjoy the full moon tonight. You've had a rough week."
Seth's incredulous laugh rang throughout the forest. "I had a rough week? Then what kind of week did you have?"
Becky thought for a moment. "A transformative one." She didn't want to keep thinking about Maggie's attack; dwelling and moping weren't going to help her at all. If she looked at the situation as a chance to change—and not just in the very literal physical sense—then it became just another obstacle, and she had all sorts of experience with those.
"You are... incredible." Seth shook his head in wonder as he stood. "I don't know how you do it."
"Make you a deal: you teach me how to be a werewolf," Becky replied, "and I'll teach you how to... make amazing toast."
The absurdity of it made Seth laugh, which was her goal. He had been distraught ever since the attack, no matter how often she insisted it wasn't his fault and that she didn't blame him. "Sounds like a fair trade. Although I imagine it means I'll have to buy a better toaster."
"That's the first step, yes. Well, the second. Right now, the first step," Becky declared, "is getting me to that clearing."
Seth obliged and by the time they caught up with the others, some of the werewolves had already shed their clothing and were pacing, waiting to be able to shift. Zenna walked over and Becky was struck by how she managed to look even smaller when she was naked. "How are you feeling?" she asked warmly. "Nervous? Do you have any questions?"
"How hard will I have to bite her?" Seth asked, voice wavering. "I don't get how this essence stuff works...."
"No one does, to be honest." The uncertainty should have been alarming, but somehow seeing smart, accomplished werewolves like Vida and Zenna admit their weaknesses and gaps in knowledge was heartening. "But I truly believe this will be one of the best times to try turning Becky—providing she's still interested, of course." When Becky nodded, Zenna started to list positives off on her fingers. "There are a lot of wolves here. The collective energy will help make the process go more smoothly, and there are plenty of people here who can assist if need be. Given the attack, Becky's body is already primed to transform, so you shouldn't need to bite as deeply." Then Zenna turned her attention to Becky. "I realize this is a lot to ask of you, especially so soon after the attack. You don't need to be conscious for the change to begin. I brought a light sedative for you if you want...."
Becky shook her head. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't worrying about the bite. Memories of the attack were still surfacing in small flashes at random times, triggered by certain scents or sounds or something nothing at all. If she flinched away from Seth, she knew he would take it personally, but the moment was too huge to experience in a drugged daze. "I appreciate the concern and... I have the same concern, but this is one of the few things in all of this that I get to choose. I never had a say in... well, the other parts. I'm choosing this. I want to remember it."
The answer seemed to satisfy Zenna, because she nodded and stepped back. "Okay then. You two get undressed and go to the centre of the clearing. We won't shift until Seth bites you."
It all made Becky feel like she was the centre of attention, which was a strange sensation when she was naked. It was one thing if she was in a wrestling ring in her gear, another entirely when she was naked with Seth. Undressing with an audience this large was a new experience for her, even if none of them were explicitly looking at her. "You'll get used to it," Vida whispered off to the side.
Once Becky and Seth were both naked, Becky stood gingerly and managed to climb onto Seth's back to be carried into the clearing. The pressure of his arm around her damaged left leg made her whimper, but she buried her face in his shoulder and concentrated on breathing. He knelt in a spot ringed with towering trees and helped her sit. Before he could straighten up, Becky grabbed his face and kissed him. "I love you." It might be the last thing she ever said, and she wanted it to matter.
"I love you too." Then Seth stepped back and started to transform, staying close to her. Some of the younger werewolves started to squirm, clearly eager to change and run, but their older counterparts kept them calm as Seth circled Becky twice before nuzzling her neck.
Becky stroked his muzzle. "I trust you. I love you." She held his gaze for a moment before shutting her eyes. His breath huffed over her bared neck and shoulder and she should have been cold, naked sitting in a forest, but there were so many bodies around that it was almost like being in a crowded room.
When Seth's jaws closed around her neck, Becky immediately tensed. Her brain taunted her with memories of Maggie's attack, of snapping jaws and tearing flesh and the brightness of her own blood, but this was nowhere near the same. Seth pressed close and she buried her hands in his fur, patting his flank. All around them, the pack was starting to transform, turning into wolves of every size and colour. Warmth surged through Becky and as Seth moved back, she felt herself falling backwards almost in slow motion, eyes full of stars and sky. A cool nose nudged her cheek; a warm body pressed against her side. She wasn't sure if the transformation was taking root or if she was dying, her body giving up after so much trauma in such a short time, but if this was death, at least it was warm and comfortable.
She tried to lift her hand to pet the wolf at her side, hoping to relay a sense of gratitude, but she couldn't. Her hand was no longer there. A paw was stretched wide at the end of her wrist, and when she looked down, Becky noticed that her legs had almost fully transformed as well.
Then the pain began in earnest. Twisting, turning, wringing out her mind like a thin sodden cloth. Her spine seemed to lurch and then snap, and the next thing she knew, she was sprawled out on the forest floor, four legs jutting out in every direction. Seth dropped into a playful crouch in front of her, eyes bright with hope as he nudged her with his nose. Becky?
Becky leapt to her feet, all four of them, and her new centre of balance took her off guard. She scuttled backwards and looked around. How...? There were so many words she wanted to add, but they were all locked up, waiting for a different sort of brain. Her wolf mind only had need of a few words and concepts to communicate, and didn't want the clutter of excess vocabulary.
Wolf! Seth spun in a happy circle and the other wolves came forward, nudging him with their heads. Then they came over to Becky, slower and with more care, pressing against her and helping her steady herself. A particularly tall wolf touched heads with her and Becky was nearly positive it was Vida. As most of the wolves launched themselves into the forest to run, Seth came over and yipped happily. WOLF! A series of howls went up in the forest, rising like smoke, and part of Becky was surprised she couldn't see them.
Leg? In her human form, her left leg was practically useless, so she took tentative steps forward, trying to coordinate her front legs with her back ones. Each one seemed to be able to bear weight, although her left hind leg was a bit shaky.
Seth trotted over to her left side, pressing close enough that she could lean against him. The human part of Becky's brain translated it like an arm around a waist. Walk?
Yes. The communication aspect was going to take her a while to get used to, not only because of the limited words she had to use but also because the time between thought and speech was perilously short. For someone like her, who often had to consider her words before blurting something out, it was a bad combination.
Seth started slowly, at an easy lope, and it still felt like magic to her. She felt bad for holding him back, but watching the other wolves run and play—many coming over to check on her—she couldn't wait until she could join in. Becky looked at a sleek wolf and tried to imagine who it was in human form. She tried to say Zenna, but apparently her communication skills weren't there yet.
He seemed to understand her, though, because Seth dipped his head in a nod. Okay? he asked, stopping to nudge her bad leg.
So far, moving was helping it feel better, but Becky imagined she would pay for that later. Walk, she said, concentrating on the image of two wolves together, making their way through the forest as one. Seth let out a happy howl and it felt so natural to tip her head back and add her voice to the song. It had been a hard week and she knew there were more hardships to come, but if it meant more moments like this, she would never hate the choice she made.