Remi has made a groupchat with John, Blyke, Isen, Seraphina, Arlo, and Elaine.
Remi has named the groupchat Last Ditch Effort.
Remi: Hi!
John: Wut. da. hell. is. this. bullsh*t.
John: wtf y can't i swaer
Remi: I censored the swearing and locked the groupchat, so don't try anything.
Remi: *Ahem* Arlo, John
Remi: And no "swaering", John.
John: well ther go my plans for the afternooon
John: also stfu
John: ....wait i agree w/ the groupchat name
Arlo: Ew, don't group him with me.
Arlo: Remi, change the settings.
Remi: No.
Arlo: I order you as King.
Seraphina changed Seraphina's name to Sera.
Sera: ooooooh
Isen: damn he pulled the King card
Blyke: oop-
Remi: I'm Queen. Nope.
Arlo: ......
Arlo: Please?
Remi: No, we're all gonna learn how to get along.
Blyke: isen and I already get along
Isen: if ya know wut I mean 😉
Blyke: bros before hoes
Sera: wtf isen you crackhead
Isen: 😉😉😉😉
John: exuce me whil i swallow my vomit
Arlo: The only vomiting around here is from your atrocious spelling.
Sera: oof
Isen: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn daniel!
Blyke: rip john
John: asslo i swear to god i will beat you to a pulp
John has changed Arlo's name to Asslo.
Asslo: ......
Asslo: so you can only spell death threats correctly?
Sera: ouch
Isen: ooooh kinky john
John: ur next, isen
Isen: Yes daddy
Blyke: wtf ur cheating????
Isen: nooooooooo bby i'm sorry he's learned how to use hairgel
Remi: 🤣
Remi: This is great, you guys.
Sera: *sniff* our boi is finally growing up
John: shut up sera
Blyke: double rip john
John: wait no sera i take it back
Sera: too late, imma throw you out your dorm window
Isen: wth sera that's 3 stories off the ground
Sera: exactly 😈
John: sera please i take it back
Sera: nah loseeeeeeeeer
John: i'll buy u boba!
Sera: fine
Asslo: Calm down, you sycophants.
John: ur one to talk asslo
Blyke: can someone tell me why i just heard a loud noise from john's room
Isen: what kind of noise? 😏
Blyke: like something hit the wall 😏
Isen: or the bed? 😏
Blyke: sera where r u
Sera: in my dorm u morons im not gonna beat up john
Isen: u sure bout dat???? 😏
Blyke: im pretty sure i heard john moan 💀
Blyke: yup i did
Remi: F for Blyke
Sera: F
Isen: F
Blyke: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
John: THAT WAS MY DRESSER CREAKING BLYKE YOU WEIRDO
John: the thud you heard was the bottom draw falling out
Blyke: mmhmm shore
Blyke: isen?
Isen: detective isen says negative, the defendant is lying
Isen: judge isen now rules in favor of the plaintiff
John: i will break every bone in your body and eat your unborn children if you don't shut up
John: then i will remove your organs and hang them on my wall
John: then i will grind up your bones for my protein shake 😈
Sera: .... john calm down
Isen: 🫣
Blyke: 😨
Isen: *confused and terrified screaming*
Blyke: *unholy screech*
Remi: Relax, John. I believe you.
John: bless you remi
Blyke: i bet john moans an awful lot 🤔
Isen: he did when i threw blyke through the wall after he WRECKED MY PEN 😤
Sera: he's had that since then?????
Sera: damn john go see a doctor
John: .......
John: sera i'm sorry but
John: respecftully stfu
John: *respectfully
Sera: spell it right first and i will
Blyke: ooooooooooooh
Isen: repent john!
John: wUt
Isen: idk ask sera
John: sera?
Sera: buy me double the boba next week
John: okey wheelio's the dealio
Isen: wtf
Remi: lol i'm taking that, thx john
John: sure np
Asslo: Shut up, I'm in class.
Blyke: class is for losers
Asslo: So don't complain about your failing grades.
Sera: damn ouch asslo which side of the bed did u wake up on?
John: still better than ur failing LIFE
Blyke: oooooooooooooooooooh i'm dead
Isen: charred, roasted, toasted, crisped, destroyed absolutely demolished
Remi: lolololololol time to delete yourself asslo
Blyke: fetus deletus
John: and sera, to answer ur question, my side 😏
Isen: asslo u liar u said u were in class
Asslo: I am!
Blyke: so it was asslo i heard in john's room and not the dresser???? 💀
Remi: F
Sera: F
Isen: F
John: ......no comment
Asslo: .......I hate you all.
John: except for me, right bby?? 🥰😘
Asslo: You disgust me most of all.
John: I'm so special 😍
Sera: true love right there folks
Blyke: still a better love story than twilight
Isen: Hey!!!!!
Blyke: he's got a thing for jasper
Isen: shit up or you die
Blyke: good luck lols
Sera: what's this now? do i smell blackmail?
Remi: omg that explains it!
John: explains what?
Remi: so i was in isen's dorm to hang out with him and blyke
John: "hang out" but go on
Remi: >:(
Remi: anyways, he went to the bathroom and i found a copy of twilight and a jasper poster stashed under his bed, he has a pic of jackson rathbone under his pillow
John: lmaooooooooooooooo
Sera: im dying isen
Isen: rEmI yOu PrOmIsEd
Remi: sorry not sorry
John: find any other blackmail?????
Remi: we're done torturing isen today
Isen: thank you 🙏
John: so anybody wanna traffic pigeons with me??
Sera: john....? u need a therapist?
Remi: why would you do that to those poor pigeons?
Isen: sure
Blyke: i'm in if isen's in
Sera: john, how did u come up with this??????
John: socrates pigeon house=pretty cheap to rent
John: plus there;s a nice villa for u sera
John:
Sera: john why the hell are u on airbnb
John: i need a place to hide the bodies 🤷
Asslo: ......
Isen: me too, find anything?
Blyke: i've got a couple, drop some cheap locations
John: sh*ts real cheap if u filter it :D
Remi: that smile creeps me out John stop
John: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Remi: i am ✨ uncomfy ✨
Remi: >:(
Sera: alright i'll help u
Sera: but ur paying for the motorboat, i looked it up
John: fine fbffuyduyfiysdryehfkj
John: lemme call my sugar daddy
Isen: wtf
Blyke: wtf
Remi: um, WHAT?
Sera ...?
Asslo: ...... John, why is my phone ringing?
John: 😏
Asslo: ..... And how did you get my new phone number?
John: 😏😏
Asslo: I hung up.
Blyke: oof
Sera: sucks to suck
Isen: if ya know what i mean ;)
Sera: shut up
Asslo: No. Just no.
John: daddy why? don't u wanna traffic pigeons with me?? 😭
Asslo: No, John, I do not want to illegally traffic pigeons with you. Stop calling me "daddy".
Sera: get rekt
John: but i want u to traffic pigeons w/ me........
John: i'll give u 15% profit?????
Asslo: Depends on the profit.
John: let's say we make $500 a day
Blyke: $500??? remi u sure?
Sera: john how in the hell r u gonna make 500 bucks off a few pigeons?!?!?
John: easy sell them as rarer pigeons, make sh*t up
John: ppl will buy anything if it makes them feel more important than their neighbors 🤷
Asslo: Fair.
John: speaking from experience?? 🤨
Asslo: No. There's no way you could correctly spell "experience".
Sera: i installed a useful autocorrect 2 mins ago
John: thx sera
Sera: no prob 😊
Blyke: sooooooooo we gonna change names or nah
Isen: yes plz!
John: i'll handle this
John has changed Remi's name to Lightning McQueen.
John has changed Isen's name to Isen O'Lantern.
John has changed Blyke's name to Nobody.
John has changed John's name to Drug Dealer.
Sera: john wtf
Drug Dealer: i'm not lying
Isen O'Lantern: gimme some
Nobody: isen did u say something????
Isen O'Lantern: no
Nobody: remi?
Lightning McQueen: nope
Nobody: john did u stalk me?!?!?!?!?!
Drug Dealer: ehehehehehe
Nobody has changed Nobody's name to Famous Enough To Be Stalked.
Sera: john now you
Drug Dealer: ......
Drug Dealer: fine
Drug Dealer has changed Drug Dealer's name to Boba God.
Sera: that's better
Asslo: Can you all shut up? I'm still in class.
Bob God has changed Asslo's name to gRuMpY aSsLo.
gRuMpY aSsLo: ....
gRuMpY aSsLo: John, I hate you.
Boba God: tell me something i don't know 💅
Famous Enough To Be Stalked had changed Famous Enough To Be Stalked's name to Pen Wrecker.
Isen O'Lantern: :(((((((((((((((((((((((((
Isen O'Lantern: blyke whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Sera: ....as in home wrecker?
Boba God: 😏
Isen O-Lantern: 😳
Isen O'Lantern has changed Isen O'Lantern's name to Pen.
Pen: 😏
Pen Wrecker: 😏
Pen Wrecker: is this consent??? 😏
Sera: blyke wtf
gRuMpY aSsLo: Blyke, Isen, stop.
Pen: NEVAH
Pen: yes daddy wrecker 😏
Pen Wrecker: im omw
Pen: okay daddy 😩
Pen Wrecker: wait u come here 😏
Pen: yes daddy 😩😜😈😫💦
Sera: wtf
Boba God: even im sHoOkEtH
Lightning McQueen: calm down you 2
gRuMpY aSsLo: Stop. Isen, I can see you. Stop this instant.
Pen: you stalker asslo
gRuMpY aSsLo: You're literally outside my classroom. I don't have to stalk you.
Boba God: ya you get isen to do that for u
Sera: ouch
gRuMpY aSsLo: Fair enough.
Pen: when the predator becomes prey *james bond theme song*
Boba God: wait blyke we're dormmates
Boba God: oh sh*t
Boba God: and not just bcuz that almost autocorrected to "doormats"
Sera: doormats lol
gRuMpY aSsLo: Autocorrect's on to something there.
Boba God: stfu
Boba God: blyke don't let him come over
Pen Wrecker: you better hide john 😏
Pen: im at the door daddy open up 😩😩
Boba God: i can hear them oh hell no
Sera: F for john
Lightning McQueen: F
gRuMpY aSsLo: F
Sera: F
Boba God: *spams f*
Sera: oh look john even asslo feels bad for u
Boba God: *le gasp* 😳
Boba God: 😜
Boba God: d-d-d-daddy???? 😫
gRuMpY aSsLo: I give up.
gRuMpY aSsLo: john wtf
Lightning McQueen: must be a bug
Boba God: 👉 🥺 👈
gRuMpY aSsLo: that is the ugliest damn thing i've seen in my life
Boba God: well why don't you look in a mirror 😤
Sera: ouch
Lightning McQueen: want me to call elaine to heal you from that burn asslo??? 😆
gRuMpY aSsLo: i hate you all
Sera: how're blyke and isen??
Boba God: i just heard someone moan 😳💀
Sera: id stop them but i don't wanna be the one to interrupt their "bro time"
Pen Wrecker: that was isen 😏
Pen: thank you daddy 😩
gRuMpY aSsLo: if you don't stop i'm giving your position back to cecile
Pen Wrecker: ew i don't want her on my lap
Sera: eye-
Lightning McQueen: mcxuse me?????
Boba God: ayo wut-
Pen: am i good daddy?? 👉 😩 👈
gRuMpY aSsLo: that's even uglier than when john did it
gRuMpY aSsLo: just stop blyke and isen, now
Sera: i'm gonna bleach my eyes
Boba God: imma bleach my ears
Lightning McQueen: i shall invest in bleach for my mind
Sera: i regret that home wrecker comment very much now
Boba God: as you should
gRuMpY aSsLo: you're one to talk john
Boba God: you can stfu you rotten lemonhead
gRuMpY aSsLo: seriously
Boba God: yes you rotten lemonhead
Boba God has changed gRuMpY aSsLo's name to grumpy rotten lemonhead.
grumpy rotten lemonhead: why me
Sera: i ask myself that every day
Lightning McQueen: samesies
Boba God: wait hol' up
Boba God has changed Lightning McQueen's name to Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Snap, Crackle and Pop: i approve :)
Pen Wrecker: im done
Pen: im back in my dorm room ;)
Sera: oml you guys
Sera calm tf down
Pen: haha you wish
Pen: i mean yes sera *bows*
Pen Wrecker: >:(
Snap, Crackle and Pop: what's wrong blyke?
Boba God: isen's never that submissive with blyke
Boba God: and blyke hates being a bottom
Snap, Crackle and Pop: lolz ouch
Sera: oof :)
Pen Wrecker: speaking from experience, john?
Boba God: ....
Pen Wrecker: asslo?
grumpy rotten lemonhead: shut up blyke
grumpy rotten lemonhead: and no
Pen: mmhhmmmmm that's what they all say
Pen: i'll just ask holden :D
grumpy rotten lemonhead: ISEN NO
Boba God: damn asslo in all caps
Sera: i was gonna say that :(
Boba God: apologies ig
Sera: :)
Pen: oh yes i've found the king of wellston's weakness
Pen: i have a way to break through his shields and destroy his defenses
Pen: leaving him helpless for me to prey upon
Sera: other agenda?????
Pen: so he can never take away my position again
grumpy rotten lemonhead: i'm insulted that this is how you think
Pen Wrecker: this isn't even half of it
Boba God: oh.....?
Pen: BLYKE NO
Pen: IF YOU DO I CAN'T DIG UP DIRT ON ASSLO
Pen: AND IF I DON'T HAVE THE DIRT I CAN'T SHARE IT
Pen Wrecker: ....oh
Pen Wrecker: another time, then
Boba God: :(
grumpy rotten lemonhead: good luck
Snap, Crackle and Pop: ooooooh dramatic
grumpy rotten lemonhead: i'm squeaky clean
Boba God: he even washes behind his ears
grumpy rotten lemonhead: ..... wtf
Boba God: not my fault you leave your balcony unlocked and bathroom door open lemonhead
Sera: ewwwwwww
grumpy rotten lemonhead: i have been ViOlAtEd
grumpy rotten lemonhead: everything will be locked up from now on
grumpy rotten lemonheaded: john you creep
Boba God: good thing i know how to pick locks
grumpy rotten lemonhead: let me alone john you CREEPY STALKER
Boba God: make me
Pen: ooooooooooooooooh
Pen Wrecker: what say you, asslo?
grumpy rotten lemonhead: go to hell john
Boba God: gladly
Boba God: but i'm already here
Sera: fair
Snap, Crackle and Pop: really?
Boba God: really and truly
Boba God: all cause of one backstabbing, hierarchy-obsessed, lemonhead piece of banana shit
Pen: bananas shit?
Boba God: don't question it
Snap, Crackle and Pop: but im pretty sure asslo's married to the hierarchy
grumpy rotten lemonhead: i am NOT
Pen Wrecker: EXCUSES
grumpy rotten lemonhead: TRUTH
Pen: methinks the lady doth protest too much
Boba God: what alien language is that?
Pen: snakespearean 😎
Boba God: teach me the ways of the snake 🐍
Pen: hissssssssssssssssssss
Sera: me too
Pen: hisssssssssssshisssssssssssshissssssssssssssss
grumpy rotten lemonhead: wth
Pen Wrecker: he has taught me
Pen Wrecker: hisssssssssssssssssshisssssssshisssssssshissssssssssssssssssssssssss
Snap, Crackle and Pop: ummmmmmm i decline
Pen: join our cult remi
grumpy rotten lemonhead: she declined
Pen Wrecker: this cult doesn't welcome wet blankets asslo
Boba God has changed grumpy rotten lemonhead's name to grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket: ......
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket: i hate you john
Boba God: we know, we know ;p
Sera: but do you now?
Sera:
Boba God: wtf u stalker
Pen: i'm gonna screenshot this for, um, medical purposes
Pen Wrecker: 😳 honestly same
Snap, Crackle and Pop: agreed
Boba God: wth you guys
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket: i don't see what's so great
Sera: shut up you lemon pancake
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket: oh no
Boba God: 😈
Boba God has changed grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket's name to grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake.
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: john i hope you fall off a cliff and die >:(
Pen Wrecker: ooh the emoticon he's serious
Boba God: ur coming with me
Pen: that's what he said ;)
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: ISEN NO MORE DIRTY JOKES
Pen: :(((((
Pen: fine your lemonheaded majesty
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: oml not you too
Pen: oh yes my cute wittle lemon
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: ._.
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: blyke take his phone away
Pen Wrecker: yes sir
Pen: take away something else, too, daddy 😜
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: ISEN WHAT DID I SAY
Pen: sorry i'm a bad boy 😩😜
Pen: i need someone to discipline me 😏
Pen Wrecker: omw kitten
Pen: kInKy daddy 💦
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: blyke not helping
Pen Wrecker: thx, lemon captain of obviousness 🙄
Sera: oooh sassy blyke
Sera: i approve 👍
Pen Wrecker: glad to be of service
Pen Wrecker: btw lemonhead im letting my kitten keep his phone
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: whatever just stop calling each other "kitten" and "daddy"
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: it's lewd and disgusting
Boba God: jealous that ur sad, alone and single??
Sera: he's married to the hierarchy dumbass
Snap, Crackle and Pop: lol true tho
Boba God: oh right
Boba God: lemme rephrase
Boba God: jealous that ur date can't reciprocate physical affection?
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: no
Pen Wrecker: why are we talking bout pasta?
Snap, Crackle and Pop: what pasta?
Pen Wrecker: lewd
Pen Wrecker: or is it dish soap? i forget
Boba God: .....
Boba God: pls tell me you're joking
Pen Wrecker: what?
Sera: lewd isn't pasta or dish soap, blyke
Pen: lol u dummy
Pen Wrecker: >:(
Pen Wrecker: well, what is it?
Sera: lewd is an adjective that means to be crude in a sexual way, or vulgar; obscene
Pen Wrecker: oh
Pen Wrecker: OHHHHHHHHHHH
Boba God: knowledge has been made
Snap, Crackle and Pop: hooray
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: yeah so stop
Boba God: jealous hoe lemonhead
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: i still hate u john
Boba God: 🎶 i'm so sick of that same old love 🎶
Sera: is dat selena gomez?
Boba God: shush
Pen: OMG JOHN YOU LISTEN TO SELENA GOMEZ?????
Boba God: it was on the radio stupid
Pen Wrecker: OMG JOHN YOU LISTEN TO THE RADIO?????
Sera: twinsies
Snap, Crackle and Pop: adorbs 😍
Boba God: my dad does loser
Pen Wrecker: oh
Pen: for a second i thought you were 81 like lemonhead
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: IM 18 U MORON
Pen: something an 81-year-old would say
Boba God: notice how he suddenly reappeared into life after u insulted him
Sera: lazy ass lemonhead
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: you try fixing and running wellston's hierarchy
Sera: id be better than you lemonhead
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: psh this is a job best suited for me
Boba God: whoops almost boasted there lemonhead
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: stfu john
Sera: so can i run the hierarchy?
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: no
Sera: pls?
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: definitely not
Sera: c'mon
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: a cold, hard, icy, solid no
Boba God: got blue balls, lemonhead? 😏
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: wtf no you psycho
Sera: well if i can't rule the hierarchy i'll ruin the hierarchy
Boba God: DOWN WITH THE HIERARCHY
Pen: DOWN WITH THE HIERARCHY
Pen Wrecker: DOWN WITH THE HIERARCHY
Snap, Crackle, and Pop: i stand with sera
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: over me?
Snap, Crackle and Pop: besties before the resties
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: i'm a restie? :(((
Snap, Crackle and Pop: yep! :)
Boba God: lol get damaged
Snap, Crackle and Pop: DOWN WITH THE HIERARCHY
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: i hate you all
Boba God: contact sera privately for meeting info and details
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: i hope you all die
Sera: lol good luck you're looking at wellston's new ruler bish
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake: i'm done
grumpy rotten lemonheaded wet blanket pancake has logged off.
Snap, Crackle and Pop: see u at the meeting!!
Snap, Crackle and Pop has logged off.
Pen: yep
Pen Wrecker: count me in
Pen has logged off.
Pen Wrecker has logged off.
Boba God: cya sera
Sera: cya
Boba God has logged off.
Sera has logged off.
Elaine: Hi!!
Heyyyyyyyyyyy! Welcome to anarchy. The other chaps likely won't be this long, I just got carried away for my first chatfic. :) Hope you enjoyed!