The sounds of battle raged through the air, the scent of blood was all that Owlpaw could smell. She was surrounded by fighting warriors, they wrestled and tore each other apart. Owlpaw was frozen in place, staring into the dead eyes of Shadowstar as he lay lifeless on the ground. Over head she heard the screech of an owl, which pulled her from her dream.
Owlpaw jolted awake in her nest, back in the medicine cat den. She looked around to make certain she was safe in the medicine cat but saw Pebblestep and Honeyfrost still sleeping. She sat up in her nest, feeling shaken up by her nightmare, even though she felt as if she should be used to it by now.
She sat up, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep any longer. She washed her paws and smoothed down her pelt which was sticking out at odd angels and unkempt from tossing and turning in her nest all night. She looked over at her fellow medicine cats, sleeping soundly and decided to get started with her day, even if it was before dawn.
She stood up and stepped into the camp, shivering as she was hit by a wave of cold air. Leaf-bare is too long. She thought, her mind still groggy from her short sleep. She spotted Flamepetal sitting at the front of the camp, keeping watch over the Clan while everyone else slept, the moonlight reflecting off her orange pelt.
Owlpaw had been told to gather more tansy after treating a cough that Larkthorn had. It turned out to be nothing but a cold and she recovered within a few days. So far, that was the only sickness SunClan had faced but it was only a matter of time before more sickness began to spread.
As a result Owlpaw had felt more stress than she ever had in her life. She was constantly on the lookout for signs from StarClan about MountainClan's medicine cat all while feeling constant fear knowing that a war was brewing between the Clans and Dawnstar wouldn't do anything about it. She felt helpless, and worst of all she felt hopeless. It had been a moon since the death of Shadowstar and nothing had gotten better.
"You're up early." The sudden voice of Flamepetal made Owlpaw jump, she didn't realize she had just been standing in the cold staring off into nothingness.
"Oh," Owlpaw replied, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, just can't sleep."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Flamepetal looked at her for a few moments. "Everything okay?"
Owlpaw sighed. "Just a lot going on, I suppose." She replied. "I'll be alright."
"I know I'm older than you, and a we don't talk that much but you can talk about it if you want." I'd like to, but I don't know if Flamepetal could understand, but I can give her the short version. It may be nice to at least get something off my chest. Owlpaw sat down beside the warrior, resting her tail across her paws.
"I'm just really stressed about leaf-bare and the whole situation with AshClan and MoonClan." Owlpaw explained.
"I would be too as a medicine cat." Flamepetal replied. "Especially after such a long period of peace. There hasn't been a fight among the Clans since before you were born. It is scary, fighting is scary." There was a shadow of pain in Flamepetal's eyes. "You never know when you might lose someone in a fight."
She's lost someone. Owlpaw knew that both of Flamepetal's parents were dead, but she didn't know how they died. "Who did you lose in a fight? You're talking from experience."
"Both of my parents." Flamepetal looked at her paws. "First my mother, Willownose, in the battle against Thornstar. I remember telling Dawnstar how terrified I was of losing someone and in the end I lost one of the most important cats in my life." Her voice grew more unsteady as she spoke about her mother. "Then moons later, AshClan attacked us and I lost my father Bramblepelt."
"I'm sorry for your loss." Owlpaw dipped her head in sympathy.
"I know other cats suffer loss all the time, it's part of being a warrior but I never stopped being scared. My siblings all had support, Fawnheart had Turtleblaze, Brackenpelt had Squirreltail and Heatherflight eventually gained Flashtail but me?" Her eyes showed a painful sense of longing. "Sorry." She shook her head. "I offered to support you not dump my own issues onto you, you're just an apprentice."
"It's okay." Owlpaw assured her. It felt like Flamepetal needed someone to listen to her too, and hearing her vent about her problems distracted Owlpaw if only for a few moments. "I think we just both needed someone to talk to."
Flamepetal let out a small mrrow of laughter. "I suppose you're right. You're a good cat, Owlpaw." She touched her tail tip to Owlpaw's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll figure out a way through all this, it may be stressful now but I believe you can find your way through."
"Thank you." Owlpaw could tell that Flamepetal's words for genuine, and despite not knowing the older warrior very well, she did feel comforted by her words. She looked towards the sky and the two she-cats watched the sun slowly rise over the mountains. "I should get to work." Owlpaw sighed slightly. "The half-moon is tonight and I want to get everything done early."
"Good luck." Flamepetal nodded. "Thanks for keeping me company."
"Of course." Owlpaw purred softly and traveled off to go gather the herbs she needed. There was still a lot weighing on her heart but for the time being, her mind felt a little more clear.
*****
"Do you think Oneflight will show up?" Owlpaw questioned the other two medicine cats nervously.
"I'm not sure." Pebblestep answered honestly as the SunClan cats neared the spot they usually met up with Oneflight. "Violetstar said MoonClan wouldn't be attending any gatherings but I don't know about half-moons."
Owlpaw stayed silent as they approached the border. She hoped that they would see Oneflight, she didn't see why Violetstar would keep Oneflight from communicating with his ancestors.
As they neared the border, Owlpaw felt relief as she saw Oneflight sitting and waiting for them. When they approached, Oneflight turned to look at them and greeted them with a friendly nod. "It's good to see you, Oneflight." Pebblestep mewed. "We were worried we wouldn't see you tonight."
"I got Violetstar to agree to let me attend half-moon meetings."
"That's good." Honeyfrost added. "We should get on the move."
"No news about MountainClan?" Oneflight asked, looking at Owlpaw.
Owlpaw shook her head painfully. "Not yet. I gave Mountainstar some herbs and taught her a little bit about treating sickness. This was the night--" She cut off. "That I wound up in MoonClan." Oneflight's tail twitched a bit but he didn't say anything. "They have an expecting queen, she's still not due for another moon but I wanted to see if they hadn't found a medicine cat by the nif they could rely on you for help."
"Of course." Oneflight nodded as the medicine cats continued on their journey. "Though hopefully they find a medicine cat soon." Owlpaw agreed painfully and they continued. After a while they met up with Roseheart and Blackstorm and Owlpaw could instantly feel the tension between Blackstorm and Oneflight.
The two of them shared a long glare between each other until Roseheart stepped between them. "Come on, what is going on between your Clans doesn't matter tonight. We are medicine cats, let's act like it." Owlpaw didn't often see Roseheart being assertive, but it seemed to break the tension and they could continue, with Blackstorm and Oneflight making sure to keep their distance from each other.
They made their way to the Spirit Garden in mostly silence, only a few side conversations before they reached the Spirit Garden. Owlpaw was eager to speak to Mosscloud, but it Honeyfrost stepped forward. "Before we sleep," She spoke up. "There is something I would like to do."
Owlpaw tilted her head, looking at her mentor in confusion. "Is everything okay?" She had noticed Honeyfrost asking a bit weird the last couple of days, she wasn't giving Owlpaw a lot of training and mostly sending her off to just do medicine cat duties.
"Yes, this is something I have been thinking of for a while." Honeyfrost stood directly in front of Owlpaw. "You've been dealing with a lot lately, and while you are still very young I believe that you have learned quickly and have proved yourself as a competent medicine cat."
Owlpaw looked at Pebblestep who didn't seem confused at all, but Owlpaw was incredibly confused. "What are you doing?" She questioned while the other medicine cats watched.
"I am giving you your full medicine cat name, Owlpaw."
Owlpaw let out a gasp and her eyes widened. "Really? I-I don't feel like I'm ready or like I've earned it."
"You have, Owlpaw." Pebblestep spoke up. "You've haven't been a medicine cat apprentice for a long time but even before your official training you preformed well and you have taken on a lot of responsibilities. You're ready."
Owlpaw stared at both the medicine cats, and while they spoke with confidence and certainty. I don't feel ready. Owlpaw thought. But I will trust them. "Alright." She nodded. "I would be honored to earn my name tonight."
Pebblestep gave Honeyfrost a nod to continue and she faced her mentor as bravely as she could. "As I said before," Honeyfrost began. "You may be young, but you have proven time and time again to be strong-willed and dedicated medicine cat and I am happy to preform this ceremony." Owlpaw forced her body to stay still as she continued. "I, Honeyfrost, medicine cat of SunClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your help she will serve her Clan for many moons. Owlpaw,, do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?"
"I do." Owlpaw said, unable to stop her voice from trembling.
"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your true name as a medicine day. From this day forward you will be known as Owlbreeze. SunClan honors your compassionate heart and dedication and I am proud to welcome you as a true medicine cat of SunClan."
Despite her original doubts, Owlbreeze felt pride in her new name. She stepped forward as Honeyfrost rested her muzzle on her forehead and Owlbreeze licked her shoulder. "Thank you." She whispered quietly. "For everything." Owlbreeze stepped back as Honeyfrost looked down on her proudly.
"Owlbreeze! Owlbreeze!" The other medicine cats cheered her new name and she felt warmed by them. If Honeyfrost says I earned this, then I will believe her.
With the ceremony ending it was now time to speak with their ancestors and Owlbreeze reconnected with her own reality. At least I can still talk to Mosscloud, I just pray she actually gives me answers. Owlbreeze curled up close to the star-shaped flower in the center of the Spirit Garden and closed her eyes. She took a few deep breaths, allowing herself and letting sleep take her.
Owlbreeze opened her eyes and as with the last half-moon, she was now alone in the Spirit Garden. This time she figured where Mosscloud was and she rose from her sleeping position and stepped out of the Spirit Garden den and sure enough, Mosscloud was sitting in the same spot as last time.
She rose to her paws and faced Owlbreeze. "Congratulations on your new name." She dipped her head. "You've earned it."
"Thank you." Owlbreeze sighed. "I still don't think I fully earned it, but we need to talk about everything going on. I still haven't received any sign of MountainClan's future medicine cat and the war is already started and no one is doing anything about!" Owlbreeze didn't realize her voice had escalated into a yell. She felt all her frustrations build up at once. She stopped her self, dropping her head and letting out an unsteady sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."
"It's okay." Mosscloud's voice was soothing. "There is a lot of responsibility being forced onto you, it's not fair. You have every right to be upset and overwhelmed." Owlpaw sat down, slumping her shoulders down.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do." She whimpered. "It feels like there's nothing I can do. I can't help MountainClan, I can't stop this war, I just--I can't fix anything."
"StarClan doesn't expect you to stop an entire war by yourself." Mosscloud replied, getting Owlbreeze to look up at her. "You did what you needed to do, you were given a warning. That the blood moon was a sign of war. You relayed that message to Dawnstar and while she isn't doing anything now, she knows. That's all you need to do right now."
"Then why does it feel like I need to do more?" Owlbreeze asked desperately. "I don't want this war to happen."
"It's out of your control whether this war happens or not, Owlbreeze. You can't control Violetstar or Riverstar, or even Dawnstar for that matter. The only cat you can control is yourself."
Owlbreeze stared at her paws. It doesn't even feel like I can do that. "But what about MountainClan?" She changed the subject. "Leaf-bare is growing worse, and Riverstep is expecting kits. They need a medicine cat and they need time to learn."
"We already know who MountainClan's new medicine cat is, they just need to realize it themselves."
Owlbreeze's eyes widened and she jumped to her paws. "Who is it? You have to tell me so I can bring them to the Clan."
"In time, Owlbreeze." Mosscloud spoke in a hushing manner.
"MountainClan doesn't have time!" Owlbreeze cried out. "They need a medicine cat as soon as possible!"
"We've already been sending you signs, you just have to look closely." Owlbreeze stared at her. "Look within yourself, you will see the signs as clear as day."
Owlbreeze sighed again, turning away from Mosscloud and looked over the territories. How have I missed it? I've been paying attention to every single little detail. "I know it's difficult." Mosscloud continued. "But keep your hope alive, Owlbreeze. You will find your answers before you know it. I promise you."
How can I keep hope alive when StarClan won't give me a single straight answer? Owlbreeze stared into the starry sky. I'll keep trusting them, but I can't take much more of this.
*****
Owlbreeze settled into her nest for the night, not feeling any better since the half-moon meeting two days ago. She had been trying to find signs in anything she could, from falling leaves to odd shaped clouds but nothing stood out to her. She felt like she was going mad staring at every little shifting object in the forest.
Upon returning to camp she had been congratulated by her family by the earning of her true medicine cat name but it still felt odd to her. It felt strange that she had earned her true medicine cat name before her siblings had earned their warrior names, but they had been nothing but happy for her.
Owlbreeze rested her chin on her paws and closed her eyes, wishing for sleep to come, but it didn't, at least not long enough to matter. She would fall asleep for short periods at a time, but she would always wake up not long after. She just kept on trying, though, knowing sleep would come eventually.
Just as Owlbreeze finally felt herself drifting off, she heard the eerie song of the snowy owl that had been following her the last moon. She forced her eyes to stay closed, trying with every fiber of her body to ignore it, but the owl's song cried out again.
Owlbreeze let out a groan and opened her eyes, hearing the owl cry again. She rose to her paws and looked at Pebblestep and Honeyfrost who were sleeping soundly. So I'm the only one who can hear it again. She thought bitterly and left the medicine cat den. She spotted Redclaw sitting guard tonight and she didn't feel like talking to him so she turned and went behind the medicine cat den where she new an easy climb to the outside of the camp was.
The entire time she climbed she heard the owl's song. It won't let me sleep, so let me see what this stupid bird wants. She looked up and saw the owl circling over head. It landed on a branch near her and she trotted over to it. "What do you want from me?" Owlbreeze questioned. "You won't leave me alone, you won't let me sleep so what do you want me to do? Just show me! Show me and I'll do it! I just want this to stop."
The owl rose from the branch, flying through the air and towards the other side of the territory, towards the MoonClan border once again. Owlbreeze started after it, she would lose it from sight every once in a while but its cry would guide her further. Eventually, Owlbreeze broke into a sprint trying to keep up with it.
Just like her last fream, the owl brought her to the border with MoonClan. She skidded to a stop, sending snow flying into the slow flowing river. "I can't go any farther than this." She told the owl, which started circling overhead. "What do you want me to do? Is it something wrong with MoonClan?"
The owl began flying away once again, towards MoonClan territory. "Come back!" Owlbreeze cried out. "I don't know what you want me to do! Are you a sign--" Owlbreeze stopped herself. "A sign from StarClan..." The owl cried out once again, this time louder. It's song echoing throughout the trees. Owlbreeze looked down, looking at her reflecting in the flowing river. Look within yourself, you will see the signs as clear as day. Owlbreeze heard Mosscloud's words repeat in her mind.
She heard flapping beside her as the owl landed on a low branch on a nearby oak tree. She looked deep into it's golden eyes. "You're not going to MoonClan, are you?" The owl responded with a quiet hoot. "You've been trying to show me this entire time." She let out a sigh, her breath billowing out in the cold air.
"I know who MountainClan's new medicine cat is." She slowly raised her head up, staring into the dark, star-filled sky of Silverpelt. "It's me."