"My name is Shoon Kotobuki," the hybrid silently sang to himself to the tune of his favorite song, counting beats on his fingers. "I am twenty-six years old. I own the club's Orchid and Blood, the latter of which must be kept secret."
His neck twitched, causing his head to snap to the side before returning to a neutral, hanging position.
"My boyfriend's name is Shoji Junjii," he continued, hesitating only a second after the twitch.
"Is that really necessary?" the wild dog asked from the walk-in-closet, pulling on a t-shirt. "You haven't had a lapse since that incident in the alley."
Shoon looked over from his seated position, cross legged on the mattress.
"It has been scientifically proven," he explained. "That by memorizing important things to the tune of a song you know, can help solidify it in your mind. And by doing it at the end of the day, before bed, while you sleep it's processed and downloaded like a file in your brain. And I'm doing it more as a preemptive measure. I'd like to keep my mind as long as possible."
His shoulder twitched, causing his arm to spazz out limp across his chest like a dead fish. He moved to cup his hand around the back of his neck, the arm still slung over his chest.
"You don't have to hide those from me," Shoji said, walking up to hop onto the bed.
"Hide what?" he asked, looking over and raising an eyebrow.
"Your twitches."
The hybrid took a moment and internalized, moving his hand to rub his shoulder before bringing it down and rubbing his palm with his thumb. It went on for a few seconds too long and his cougar claws extended, digging into his palm and drawing blood. He still didn't stop and Shoji saw his eyes were locked in a terrified stare at what he was doing. He reached over and grabbed his hands, holding them apart until the climax of the seizure died down. He was only having one of these everyday but according to Shoji's research, the frequency of these nervous system shortages would only increase and last longer. The wild dog felt the tension in the hybrid's muscles die away until he was limp enough to reasonably control himself again.
"Do you have any of your prescription left?" the canine asked.
"No," the hybrid shook his head. "The doctor I used to meet online stopped seeing me. I think he caught on to who I was. As such, he also stopped my refills. And before you ask, I am trying to get a new doctor. I'm speaking to people who owe a favor or two to see if there's anything they can do for me."
Shoji stayed silent.
"Your bleeding," Shoon told him.
Shoji looked at his arm wrapped around his back and saw small puncture wounds and scratches. His fiance's porcupine quills were growing back and they had nicked him.
"It's nothing," Shoji said, going to rinse the blood off in the bathroom and bandage the insignificant injuries, but Shoon softly caught his arm. He brought the cuts up to his nose and deeply inhaled, drawing the canine's scent into his nostrils. He went to lick the wounds, but Shoji pulled his arm away.
"Nuh-uh," he sadly smirked. "You get a taste then your mouth starts watering. And when you start to salivate, your venom glands go into overdrive. Without somewhere to put your venom you'll burn a hole straight down through this building faster than anyone can say...anything."
Shoon smiled and nodded in agreement, licking away the small acidic droplets that had already formed on the tips of his fangs. He flicked them up to prevent any more flow and Shoji left to take care of the small pricks and scrapes. Now that he looked at them, he probably didn't need any bandaids. Just a quick rinse in the sink and maybe a small amount of antibiotic ointment. He ran the trickle of cold water, the pressure in the line was down as the pump was being run by generator, and by the end of that wash, the blood had clotted and sealed the lesions. No need for a salve. He dried the arm and returned to the main room, seeing Shoon lying flat on his back.
The painted dog returned and curled up next to him, the hybrid wrapping his arm around the small canine. He readjusted himself to use Shoon's arm as a pillow and laid his arm on his chest. The hybrid took his hand in his and kissed him on the top of his head. Then his whole body heaved as a twitch pulled his chest into itself. It wasn't enough to cause serious injury, but it was physically noticeable that his ribcage tried to fold in half through his spine.
"I should probably get my quills pulled out before the wedding, right?" he asked.
"No," Shoji said. "Keep them. If you get them stylized instead of that wild, unkempt look you had before, I think they could look quite nice."
"Know any 'quill stylists'?" he giggled.
"I don't but one of my old coworkers, technically your employee, does," the canine answered the joke seriously. "I could get you in touch with them."
"Who is it?" he asked.
"Wakino."
"Ah," the hybrid said, processing the name with the face. "And they know this stylist...how?"
"A friend of a friend of a friend."
"Hmm," Shoon hummed. "One of those kinds of acquaintances."
"What do you mean by that?" Shoji asked, looking up at him.
"Nothing bad," he answered, reassuringly rubbing his head.
They lay there in the quiet room, the only sound was the muffled skittering of crickets and cockroaches in their plastic bins. Morrígan, as always, made zero sound as she slept with ever seeing, open eyes.
"We should get rid of that thing," Shoon said, breaking the silence and pointing his chin towards the painting on the ceiling. "I mean, who puts a priceless painting on their ceiling?"
"Shoon?" Shoji said, trying to get his attention.
"Not only that but it just disturbs me now," he continued.
"Shoon!" Shoji repeated, loud enough that he had to have heard him.
The hybrid stayed silent.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
The hybrid's arm twitched under his head. Not a twitch induced by the seizures, but a nervous twitch.
"About what?" he asked, keeping his eyes blankly staring up at the ceiling.
"About this," Shoji said, propping up on his arm. "The fact that...you know..."
"The fact that I'm dying?" Shoon asked bluntly, finishing his fiance's question. "The fact that I'll only live one fifth the length of a normal life? The fact that Death is wrenching me from my mortal coil before I've truly lived?"
"Yeah," Shoji said, being as understanding as possible and keeping as calm as he could.
Shoon sighed shakily before sitting up and leaning against the headboard.
"I won't lie and say I'm not scared of the unknown," Shoji said. "Anyone who says otherwise with a straight face is trying to sell something and I hate phony salesmen. Which is one of the reasons I'm not particularly religious. It's really the only thing that truly petrifies me. It keeps me up at night, which is why I do my best not to think about it. But I need to make peace with it because, even without this disease, I will face it at some point. We all will. I already have and don't remember a thing, if there is anything being kept from me by this physical brain tissue that I can't process. It was like taking a sudden, short, induced nap and waking up half rotten."
He was holding himself together, but Shoon saw the horror creeping behind his eyes as he faced the abyss a second time, this one being more permanent sleep. It may have appeared to be a miracle from the outside that he had somehow revived himself, but no one should have to die twice. He moved up and hugged him close, comforting him as best he could, listening to his ramblings. Just like old times.
"But I have to remind myself that it is foolish to be afraid of 'nothing'," he continued. "It's like being afraid of the space behind your head. You know it's there, but you can't see it. Then you turn to look, but now it's no longer the back space of your head. The place you were just facing is, are you going to be afraid of that? Try to imagine what it will be like to go to sleep and never wake up... now try to imagine what it was like to wake up having never gone to sleep."
"Why focus on death when you're alive with life?" Shoji asked. "And didn't you say that, 'it's better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, than a long life spent in a miserable way?'"
"I didn't say that," Shoon stated. "I was quoting a favorite guru of mine."
Shoji held Shoon as tight as he could.
"But enough of that," Shoon smiled, swallowing the tears of fear before they left his eyes. "It's good to acknowledge the abyss every now and again. But not for too long. That makes it feel important, which it's not. Let's not think and just live, before we die."
"Shoon," Shoji said, catching him again. "Are you alright?"
The hybrid looked Shoji in the eyes with his mismatched ones.
"I'm fine," he said.
Shoji saw the truth in his eyes, but that didn't stop him from squeezing him just a tad bit tighter.
"I'm more worried about you," the hybrid added.
The wild dog looked at him with his own saddening eyes, contrasting Shoon's own brightening ones.
"Come on," he said, smiling warmly down at him. "Spit it out."
"It's just unfair," Shoji broke. "I know I haven't been the best person this far into my life, but why is it you have to be taken from me? It's like a fucking curse. First my parents, then my foster parents, then my last boyfriend, and now you? Granted everyone up to this point had it coming, but why you?"
"Oh I have it coming," Shoon laughed a little. "Believe me. The stuff I've done, I had it coming."
"You know what I mean," Shoji said, wiping his running nose. "It's like I'm not meant to be happy. The universe is just toying with me for its own entertainment."
It was Shoon's turn to hold Shoji and comfort him, rocking him back and forth with his body while rubbing his head and soothing him with his voice.
"Look at it this way," Shoon said, holding the trembling animal as close as he could. "You have me, for the rest of my life and gave me the best last years of my life. So I thank you for that."
"I just want to stop losing people," the wild dog said, gripping Shoon's arms as if he could die any moment.
"You will go on to live for decades to come," Shoon pointed out. "I am one, out of countless others in this wide, wonderful world. You will find someone else. I'm not saying to forget me, there's nothing worse than being forgotten, just keep going."
The hybrid took Shoji's wrists and flipped them so the massive scars that ran along the entirety of his forearms were bathed in the dim light of the candles.
"Let these be reminders," he said, leaning his head over Shoji's shoulder. "If you have those thoughts again, remember these and what I did for you. Remember the good times and don't do it. For me. Live."
Shoji took his inside arm and reached up behind Shoon's head, feeling the scar at the base of his skull. He ran his fingers over the imperfections in the skin and the raised tissue it caused. It was like a link to the other side that only he was allowed to have. He felt Shoon start to trace the scar on his other arm. The self induced line that had almost killed him, tingled with life as the hybrid copied Shoji's movements along his scar. The motions calmed both of them down, sending the message through the thin membrane to the other side along the nerves that, at the end of it all, it would be alright.
Shoji calmly fell back into Shoon, who lay down facing him. They never unlocked from their hug and their fingers kept tracing the others' scar. It was a perfect moment. One that Shoji would definitely carry with him. Unfortunately the moment was interrupted by a walkie-talkie ringing. The canine felt Shoon flinch at the sound and a familiar frustration rippled through his body. The ringing ended and the moment seemed to slowly settle back in but the handset rang again.
"One second," Shoon said apologetically as he stood up and moved to the phone. He took hold of the handset and put the earpiece in, letting the next ring come in before calling back.
"What!?"
Shoji strained his ears to try and hear who was on the other end, but to no avail.
"He what?" Shoon continued his conversation over the device. "No, no he cannot. You know why! And so does he!! Then put him in a room for the night and I'll speak with him tomorrow. Well if he can't wait, tell him to throw himself from the balcony. Wait! I'm sorry. You know how I get when this sort of thing happens. I'm not angry at you, it's him. Once again, he's an inconvenience. Right. Again, my apologies. Alright, night."
He placed the set back on it's solar powered charging station and returned to Shoji.
"What was that?" the painted dog asked.
"Apparently," the hybrid said, crawling into the same place they had left off at. "Melon took care of the Jade Slasher."
"Right," Shoji sneered. "And I'm a purple dinosaur."
Shoon giggled at that before softly resting his hand on Shoji's cheek and looking him in the eyes again.
"Seriously," he said gingerly. "Promise me you'll live."
Shoji took his hand and rubbed it with his thumb. He leaned in, kissing the hybrid before nodding.
"I promise," he returned with a sad smile.
Shoon smiled in contentment. A single tear left the hybrid's eye and dripped onto the maroon sheets, making a single circle that was a few shades darker than the blood colored fabric.
"We should make a guest list," Shoji said, changing the subject to something a bit more lighthearted. "For the wedding."
"Who else, aside from people here, would we possibly invite?" Shoon asked.
"Oh come on," Shoji smirked. "You don't want to 'play with a few more prey items?'"
"I think I'm over that," the hybrid said. "I'm going to focus on us for however long I have left."
"What about the business?" the canine asked.
"I think Reina can hold the fort," he said. "And she could even train you to run everything."
Shoji laughed in disbelief.
"If you want to," Shoon said.
"I couldn't do what you do," the wild dog said.
"Alright," Shoon shrugged. "Offer will forever remain on the table. I'll make sure Reina knows."
Shoon arched back suddenly as a minor seizure took hold. Shoji was a little worried his back might snap in half, but Shoon was just built differently. He was more flexible and as such could handle the sudden snaps.
"Let's start planning tomorrow," Shoon said. "I think we both need some sleep, and a fresh start."
"Agreed."
They lay there in each other's embrace on the bed and Shoon drifted off before Shoji. The canine waited a minute or two for his fiance to be deep enough in his sleep before sneaking from the bed and blowing out the candles. He also silently wrote a list of things he'd need to discuss with Reina tomorrow, without Shoon's knowledge. He put the list away in his bedside drawer, and blew out the last candle before returning to Shoon, wrapping up into him again. Here in the darkness, the only senses he could utilize were smell, sound, and touch. He heard their breath in the silence, he felt Shoon in his arms and he smelled nothing but him. Life existed only at this very moment; and in this moment, it was infinite and eternal, for the present moment was infinitely small. Before Shoji could measure it, it was gone. And yet it would exist forever.