I- I need to know now!" Andre yawned and slowly padded down the stairs. His brain was still foggy, it was a lazy summer afternoon. As he came downstairs though, he straightened, sensing the tense energy of the room. His light brown eyes focused on the scene, suddenly wide awake. His moms were holding each other, looking resigned. They were preparing themselves to give hard news. Elizabeth stood closest to him, facing them, her hands bunched into tight fists. She was looking at their moms but couldn't stay there, roving the room and briefly seeing him before landing back on their parents. Noe'lani, who he now felt the title 'Ma' was more fitting for than 'Mommy', looked at him and took a deep breath.
"We always knew this day would come," his Ma solemnly said.
"I suppose we just hoped this day would be later rather than sooner," his Mom added. Noe'lani looked at Pamela then and shook her head.
"Perhaps it should've been this way from the beginning," she patted her wife's arm before returning her gaze to his sister, who was standing very still. As their mothers had exchanged glances, Elizabeth had let her shoulders down and shrunk in on herself. Andre was scared to reach out to her, worried that she'd burst into tears or cringe away from his touch. His mom nodded and gestured to the couch.
"Let's all have a seat then? We'll have this talk as a family." His moms walked slowly over to one of their two plush cream sofas then, but Elizabeth didn't move from her spot. Andre took a step towards her and she shook her head sharply.
"...no."
Andre looked at his moms, and they exchanged glances at each other, frowning.
"Al...alright, honey," his Ma allowed. "You were adopted from the Philippines when you were a few months old...We got you from an orphanage. Your parents had already passed away."
Andre's mouth fell open and he knew his sister's had too. Elizabeth was from the Philippines? They had known they were not their mother's biological children because one of their moms was white and the other a native Hawaiian, but- it was one thing to know you cannot be born from your parents and another to hear that 'you must get that from your Ma,' as you grew up. It made you try to find the similarities. You clung onto and identified with those, until any differences seemed perfectly normal. Andre turned to Elizabeth. Her eyes were staring hard at the floor. Her knuckles shook with increased pressure. Andre thought they might start bleeding if she squeezed them any tighter.
"Am I...am I a U.S. Citizen?" Elizabeth's voice came out so brittle it almost broke. Her moms had leaned forward from their couch so as not to miss a word.
"Of course!" their Ma said without skipping a beat.
"You were granted citizenship as part of the adoption process," their Mom added. Andre could almost see their need to come over and hug Elizabeth, hug them both, but they were giving her space. Andre remembered his own position a foot to Elizabeth's right, and realized they all were. He didn't want her to feel so alone, but maybe that was what she needed at the moment. Elizabeth hugged herself tightly and took a shaky breath.
"That's...s'that's good..." tears were leaving her eyes to dribble onto her lips. The choked sobs strangled her speech too. She nodded and ran past Andre up the stairs. The sound of her door slamming shut was a gunshot that echoed throughout the house. His Ma curled into his Mom's shoulder.
"Oh, Pam-! I wanted to tell her, but not like- not like this!"
"I know, 'Lani...I know," his Mom rubbed his Ma's shoulders and did her best to console her. When their Ma got emotional like this, it was best just to ride it out. Much like Elizabeth. Andre sucked in a lungful of air and let his hands rock slowly at his sides. He was still in his boxers and a T-shirt, freshly out of bed to get a snack. He hadn't dressed for earth-shattering revelations. Were they going to tell him about his birth family now too? Oh my God...what if they're dead...?
"Andre?" His Mom's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Andre took a few tepid steps towards them, standing opposite the couch they sat on. His Ma had cut her hair into a bob that she routinely died a rich violet. He thought he could see a hint of gray creeping into his Mom's hair. They were his world, his roots. He didn't know anyone who could be better parents or possibly call themselves his family. He began to chew his lip nervously while his parents gathered their strength for the next inevitable blow. His Ma squeezed his Mom's hand and lifted her face from where it had been obscured. She sat up straight, suddenly feeling very formal. It made Andre even more uncomfortable. He began to shift with his feet, swaying slightly.
"Would you like to know about your birth too?" His Ma asked. When Andre gave a jerky nod, she continued. "You do know that we love you no matter what?" Another quick nod. There was no hesitation in the acceptance of that statement. "And we are here if you want to have support or..." now his Ma glanced quickly at the ceiling where Elizabeth's room was, then back to him. "Or if you want to be alone." Andre considered for a second what he might want, but it depended on the results, he supposed. However, he felt like he already knew.
"They're dead too, aren't they?" Andre said the words bluntly. They didn't feel as sharp since they were, ultimately, strangers to him from a time before he was aware of existing. His moms confirmed as much.
"No! No," she reached out and pulled his head to her chest. He could hear her heart hammering, matching his own. "We adopted Elizabeth, but I gave birth to you, Andre. I carried you for nine months and pushed you out, and your Mom supported me the entire way." He felt another hand lightly grip his shoulder, and he assumed it was his Mom.
"You were so small when you were born," his Mom added. "The doctors fussed over you, and we thought you were a gift from above."
"You immediately reached for my finger and grabbed it with both of your hands," his Ma recited with more tears prepping to overflow. Andre pulled his head away so he could look them both in the eyes.
"I did?" His voice squeaked a bit at the end which made him cringe but his parents only smiled gently.
"Yes," his Mom continued for his Ma, who was busy sniffling. "You chose us. I may not have given birth to you, but when you held my finger, I felt like you adopted me." Andre gave a final slow nod at the two older faces that were full of nothing but love and devotion for him. He opened his arms and gave them both a huge hug. He honestly didn't feel the same as Elizabeth did about the truths behind their births. His circumstances were slightly different, but their family hadn't changed.
"Thank you for telling us. Thank you for telling me. I'm gonna go and try to talk to Elizabeth," he told both his moms. They had agreed that might be best. Although his Ma wanted to go to her too, they decided to continue to give her time to digest it away from them. It was better for both parties that way. Andre agreed. Only a sibling could be here for her now. He took the stairs two at a time then rapped lightly at the door.
"GO AWAY!" Elizabeth screamed-cried through the door. Andre tried the doorknob and found it open. So, she did want someone to come check on her. He swung it open slowly and it was a good thing that he did. The loud thump of a sneaker hitting his shield made him pop his head and stick his tongue out.
"Ya missed!" Andre was proud when a small smile crawled across his big sister's features for a moment. Even if it just as quickly became a scowl, it had been there.
"Go away," Elizabeth insisted and burrowed deeper into her blankets. Andre closed the door behind him and walked carefully into the door, ready to dodge future projectiles. He took an encouraging breath, debating the various courses of action before him. Should he sit gently beside her lumpy form on the bed and try to coax her out? Should he listen to her pleas and go away to his room? Or should he give her a brotherly 'nudge'? Andre went with option C, striding towards the bed and launching himself atop it. Both siblings made an 'oomph' as his adolescent body hit the blanket lump.
"Come on Elizabeth, you can talk to me," Andre told the Elizabeth-burrito. A messy head of hair emerged, and then his sister's tired expression came out too. Her mahogany eyes were red and puffy from crying.
"..Fine, but get offa me," Elizabeth mumbled. Andre responded with a small smile and rolled onto the empty space on the bed. He watched her quietly as she adjusted her position, made sure their vision of each other was clear of blankets, and generally stalled for time. He knew she was using it to gather her thoughts. Andre was too, to be honest, unsure what exactly to say to get things started. Luckily, he didn't need to have those answers, because Elizabeth spoke first:
"I wanted to be president."
Andre blinked. "I didn't know that."
Elizabeth sniffled and nodded, then sat up fully. "...you have to be born on U.S. soil to run for president."
"Oh." Now Andre saw where she was going with this. "So, since you were born in the Philippines-"
"I can't run for president!" She wailed and put her face back into the blanket. Andre's mouth opened and closed without saying anything. What could he say?
"It's not even like it was a diehard dream of mine, just- the...the taking away of things without my knowledge. Dreaming of a dream that could never have come true? I don't even know anything about the Philippines! I feel like a stupid idiot." Andre nodded and began to rub her back like their Mom always did for them when they were upset. That seemed to soothe her somewhat.
"But we can still make new dreams, right? Maybe not the same as before, but...just as good?" Elizabeth looked up at him with a hint of hope in her eyes.
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the tension in her shoulders easing. "It's just hard, you know? Finding out that things you thought were true all your life...aren't. It's like the ground under your feet disappears."
Andre nodded in agreement. "I know. But...we'll figure it out. Together." They sat there in silence for a few moments, the only sound the gentle rustling of blankets as they shifted. Elizabeth leaned her head on his shoulder, and Andre wrapped an arm around her. For a while, they just sat there, enjoying each other's company.
Eventually, Andre spoke up again. "You know what? I always thought you'd make a great president. Even if you can't run, you can still make a difference in the world."
Elizabeth smiled at him, the first real smile he'd seen from her since she found out about her adoption. "Thanks, Andre. That means a lot." She sniffled and wiped her fresh tears. "I'm sure your stuff was a shock too.... was it?" While he was sure she didn't mean it badly, Elizabeth's eyes seemed to very much want his origins to be just as mind-blowing.
Andre twisted his foot that dangled off the bed into the carpet. "They don't know much about my dad, but Ma did give birth to me."
Elizabeth studied him for a moment before prodding again. "Do they know if he's still alive?"
"Nope."
"....and you're not sad that you won't get to meet him?" Elizabeth prodded again. Andre took the time to think about it, but his mind felt fairly clear.
"I love the family I have now and— I never met him so..." he shrugged again.
Elizabeth made a small sound of astonishment before asking him to leave her to her music and thoughts. She did give him a quick hug before he left though.
"You'll always be my annoying little brother," she assured him.
"And you'll always be my overbearing big sister," he retorted. They both were grinning as Andre gently closed the door behind him. Later that evening, Elizabeth had come and joined them for dinner like nothing had happened. Her tone held its usual sassiness, and everyone seemed to act normally for the most part. Their moms had exchanged a few worried glances before playing along. No matter what, they were a family. He had even laughed good-naturedly at his embarrassing voice squeak when he asked for more potatoes.
Andre held onto those good feelings until he went to bed...but it was his dreams that wouldn't leave him alone. Screams filled his ears, babies' cries, blood filled his vision. So much blood...and- laughter? The screams ended in a single moan. One phrase was crystal clear. They're not your real family. Andre panicked while sitting up in bed, heart going a mile a minute. He heard a distinct tapping on glass over the blood rushing in his ears. Blood... He whipped his head to his window suspiciously. Maybe it was just a tree branch brushing against the pane... a logical conclusion. There must be one. Dr. Daniels had spoken to him about these instances of self-doubt. "There must be one," he murmured to himself while slowly leaving the bed. All he had to do was pursue and prove himself correct- Andre's eyes widened when he reached the window sill and saw a still dripping, much larger Kai on the section of his roof level with his window.
"KAI?!" His brain was scrambled at the sight before him. It had to be Kai, from the chestnut hair and blue eyes— not to mention the thin fins that lined the Mer's forearms; however, there were some differences too. For one, Kai was more muscular than before. It made sense when one had to swim every day, but still. Kai changed every year; they both did, but this year felt different. More time had passed, so understandably, more changes had happened. Kai tapped the glass again and Andre snapped out of his analysis of his friend's body. It's weird to be staring at him that hard anyway. He lifted the window and helped pull the Mer into his bedroom. The scents of the sea, the beach, and Kai flowed in with the night breeze and drifted around him. Kai's hair had grown to nearly waist length, trailing in after the boy. The bottoms of Kai's feet brought sand that he would have to frantically sweep away later. That was a small price to pay for Kai's first time in his bedroom. His heart thumped now with excitement over the undercurrent of fear.
Kai squeezed Andre's hand that still clutched his. Could the Mer sense his feelings? Sometimes it felt so. "Andre? I feel your fear...what's wrong?"
"Welcome to my room," Andre let go of Kai's train of thought and the Mer's hand at the same time to gesture at his room. Then he returned to his bed and sat on the edge. Kai studied him for a moment in silence before looking at the room around them. There wasn't much to see in the dark, but Kai had made it clear long ago that Mers could see more clearly than humans could in low lighting. Kai opened and closed his mouth not unlike a fish.
"...your room is nice," his friend finally said while touching one of his athletic jackets that was hanging from the chair at his desk. Kai delicately fingered the material, so Andre suggested he put it on. At first there was firm denial, but after more encouragement, the Mer agreed to slip his jacket on. Andre was glad to successfully change the subject, and leave his nightmare behind. He was hesitant to ask what Kai had been up to all this time too, just enjoying the moment for what it was. The jacket was a bit of a tight fit over the Mer's existing clothing, which only covered Kai's shoulders and a bit of his back. Andre had always wondered if it was not going to cover the complete torso like a true shirt should, why wear it at all- but Kai had replied that it was for protective wear, and not just for show. The half shirt thing looked over the top underneath his slate gray coat, the emerald green top livening up the entire ensemble ten times. Andre left the bed to help adjust the coat, sneaking some feels of the Mer clothing at the same time. He had been too nervous when they were younger to ask to touch the material before. Besides, this top seemed brand new. "This feels...restricting. Like a net," Kai muttered. Andre raised a brow at the big word. The Mer continued to be a fast learner.
"Well, maybe one day we could get you some clothes? And then once they fit you right, they'll feel like a second skin," Andre pondered. If they could dress Kai in his clothes and visit one of the shops on the boardwalk- scratch that- if he could even save up enough money to buy Kai clothes...and hide them...it was proving more complicated than a simple shopping trip. Andre sighed and Kai lifted his head to look at him. Not because the Mer was shorter than Andre. No, Kai was still very much the larger one between the two. His friend had been focused on zipping, then unzipping the jacket over and over to listen to the sound and watch the garment connect and disconnect. Kai then flapped his arms about in the material, feeling it shift with his movements. Andre snorted. "Having fun?"
Kai made a small scowl of discomfort? Confusion? Wonder? His poor friend was a bit whelmed with emotions. "It is interesting." Then his ocean blue eyes stared seriously at him. "Hm." Andre knew Kai was intent on discussing his fears, but he was distracted by how the moon turned his friend's eyes into a miniature version of the night sky; how alike yet unlike a human's eyes they were. "Hm," more stress was put on the grunt this time. Andre sighed and climbed back onto the bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. This time, Kai followed suit.
"I had...bad dreams and was hearing voices," Andre confessed quietly. "-! None of them were yours though," he quickly amended. Kai nodded with understanding. Besides rubbing the comforter slowly with his one leg and hand, Kai was sitting quite still. Andre went back to staring at his hands around his knees and breathing. He didn't want to remember what the nightmare had been about, and he didn't want to tell Kai that they got more frequent whenever he was around... but he knew Kai would ask. Sure enough:
"What did the voices that were not me say?"
Deep inhale.... deep exhale.... Andre took three deep breaths before responding. The breathing techniques he had been working on with Mr. Daniels. "They said my family is not my real one...and they're partially right." The last part had him laughing bitterly and resting his chin on his kneecaps. Tears somehow were wetting his pajama pants he had gotten away with wearing all day. Probably because of the sensitive schedule of events. Andre could feel Kai probing his mind, seeking their connection out so they could simply revisit the memories together, but Andre didn't want to relive them. He didn't want to hold them close like that so Kai could truly understand. He felt safer behind the barrier of verbal language.
"What do you mean? Are your sisters and mothers not your true family?" The innocent question unleashed the rivers from Andre's ducts. He didn't know where these feelings had been hiding- he had felt relatively fine when his moms had given him the news... but maybe it was just catching up with him now. Was his father alive? Did he know about him? Did his father want him? Did he want to meet this mystery man? What if he was someone important, or what if Andre looked just like him? Would they recognize each other on the street? Andre had never thought about having a father this hard before. His heart began to race and his stomach twisted into knots. At first, he thought it was because of his train of thought, but then he felt slender fingers sliding across his back- and realized that Kai had touched him first. Kai was touching his back. Kai was trying to comfort him...
Andre buried his face deeper in his knees. The Mer had strengthened their bond so he could understand more fully the scope of Andre's emotions. He sensed more than heard again, that Kai was crying, but this time it was clearly on his behalf.
"You are you, Andre. You are who you were always meant to be," Kai's warm words filled his mind. In many ways the message was better than any physical embrace, because it came packed with feelings of acceptance. Andre held onto those words as his tears continued to fall. He mourned a life unlived and parents he could never know. He mourned the journey he never even had a chance to take to meet them, see them, and maybe even love them. He mourned Elizabeth's situation. He mourned for the differences that kept them apart and made them feel like strangers. Most of all, he mourned the lack of true grief he felt for these unknown birth parents, the feeling of gratitude he had for his moms, as if he was rejecting his origins to stay dead and gone. It was all too much.
Kai stayed and cried with him quietly until the moon hung low in the sky. They both had wiped their tears by then though, and Andre had burning questions about Kai's return. His throat felt like a frog had taken residence, so he resorted to their nostalgic mental bond. "Where have you been? Are there no school vacations for Mer people?"
Kai bit his lip. "It's not that simple. My people, the urmaia..we are not encouraged to come onto the land. Once my father found out-" His friend paused to run a hand through his hair before continuing. "It wasn't safe to come back. I had to get stronger."
Andre let the information sink in, feeling it to be the truth as well as trusting Kai. He still felt a little conflicted about Kai's extended absence, but he felt really upset at one casual fact that had been quietly snuck in there. "Wait!" Andre aggressively whispered, shifting in place on the bed. "You're not a Mer? You're an..urmaia?" He took his time pronouncing the new word. When Kai simply nodded, Andre quickly added on, "How come you never corrected me?!" Kai agitated Andre further by chuckling behind a hand. "Don't just laugh. Explain!"
After a few awkward moments Kai finally did. "I assumed it was the English translation. The imagery appeared the same." Kai then showed Andre the images Andre and other humans had of mermaids and mermen, then presented images of his own parents. He explained that while he had told his parents about the land, they themselves could not physically come here the way he could. Kai had not explained why that was, just that it wasn't possible.
Slightly mollified, Andre moved onto the next question. "So how come you can speak English like a pro now? Even sneaking in windows." Now, Kai was the one blinking with confusion. Which made Andre tilt his head inquisitively back. Too scared to ask aloud, he asked mentally again. "What?"
"You're the one who has been translating my speech in your brain."
Andre sat back quickly, hitting his head on the wall his bed rested against. "Ow!" "What do you mean, I'm translating? I don't speak-"
"Urmazuri," Kai provided.
"Urmazuri! At least not fluently! You taught me some words here and there years ago..." Andre trailed off and looked to the floor of his room. He had this itch in the back of his brain that maybe he did know more. When he tried to reach for it however, the whispers began again, so he firmly killed that train of thought. He raised his gaze to catch Kai watching him carefully. Nerves forced a weak smile of lackluster acceptance. "So, you're all strong now, and can use my brain as a dictionary, cool cool."
"We have always been sharing thoughts and memories. Your mind offers me the matching descriptions I provide."
"Yeah, yeah...that makes perfect sense." Andre knew it wasn't anything more fantastical than having a mer- urmaia friend who came out of the ocean, but- well he was still a little stumped. He'd gone 3 years without seeing or hearing any trace of Kai. "Thanks for coming," he whispered to the urmaia.
"I can see you need space. We will talk again." Kai began to remove Andre's jacket, folding it and placing it on a corner of the bed. Andre's hands loosened from around his legs. He didn't want Kai to go, but he also wasn't sure what to make of all these new reveals. He needed time to think about what was happening in his life. His family may have changed forever.
"Yeah," was all Andre could give. Kai only nodded in response, climbing back out the window he had come from, focused on landing softly on the roof. Andre watched his friend in fascination as the urmaia nimbly climbed onto the yard wall, sneaking along it before dropping off into a corner of the front yard. He turned around a ways down the street to wave. Andre waved back then closed the window. It wasn't locked, just down. He wouldn't lock it again. Kai had already disappeared towards the shore. Andre sat on the windowsill and watched the sun rise, relishing the bits of peace the surprise visit had brought him, despite the changes. Kai was back, and it added to the stress of puberty and his life's direction. Those were later problems however. For now, he enjoyed the chirping of birds and the shush of the waves...ozhantura. The word floated to his mind unbidden, but he knew it described the calm he felt looking at the sea. That serene morning was suddenly broken by the rumble of a U-Haul parking across the street from his house. He would learn later that afternoon that the Hernandez family had moved into the house across the street.
"Hey! My name's Jesse. Nice to meetcha!" Jesse would enthusiastically greet him at his front door. Jesse's parents had apparently sent him over with some homemade cookies to greet the neighbors with and potentially make a new friend. Andre wasn't an enemy to cookies, and Jesse seemed nice enough. Elizabeth had been over the moon when she heard a new kid had moved in, but seeing that it was a kid his age, she smiled politely and walked away. Andre had a feeling he would like Jesse though. The boy had spiky fawn colored hair and invigorating green eyes. He wore a black and gold jersey with the number '36' on it. Maybe it was the number of his favorite athlete? Andre didn't follow professional sports. The Turners watched the large tournaments from time to time, but they were more involved in playing sports than watching. Especially when Elizabeth refused to tolerate any sport that wasn't tennis on the television. Jesse smiled politely and held out the aluminum wrapped tray of cookies. "From the Hernandez Family to yours!"
"Thanks," Andre said genuinely while taking the tray from Jesse.
"Ah, you must be the new family across the street!" His mom called from over his shoulder. Her feet padded over to the door and she waved Jesse in. "Come in, come in! We have another kiddo near your age besides this one that you can meet." His mom then reached over him to grab a cookie from the tray and pop it into her mouth. She immediately sounded her satisfaction as Jesse respectfully slipped off his sneakers at the door. "And you must tell your parents.... that these cookies are delicious!" Andre shook his head and kicked the door closed behind him. He knew his new role now was that of the Cookie Train. This summer really was turning out to be a summer of changes after all.