"Simon."
He pulled back to look down at me, his features that I once recalled as boyish now hardened by the truth of what he hid behind his charming smiles. He wasn't the boy that I loved. Not anymore. He never was. The boy I loved only existed in my head. A fantasy I had created while turning a blind eye to anything that said otherwise.
"Aris!"
A sharp jerk had the words penetrated through high-pitched ringing that had filled my ears. The voice didn't match the face watching me. The disconnect had the paralyzing fear holding my body still for the abuse it was sure would follow waver.
I blinked. The vivid sight of hateful eyes flickered to blue ones lined with worry. Blinking hard a few more times, the relief that accompanied the oddly comforting sight of the concerned blues had my body sinking into the softness below me.
"Aris," Alec repeated, his voice sounding strained as his hands on my shoulders tightened. "You with me, kitten?" He asked, trying to keep his voice soft.
The more I heard him speak, the more I emerged from inside my head where I had gone to hide at the touch that sent me back to that night. The night that Simon erased what remaining faith I had that I was deserving of love. I Ruined everyone's lives. First, dad's by making mom leave, then Simon by dragging him into my mess.
I was a worthless nobody.
So then why was Alec looking at me like he was afraid he was about to lose something precious? How could someone I hate so much, that has shown me how much he hates me, be the one to look at me with eyes that warmed the untouched part of my heart that just wanted to be loved? The part that wanted someone to care about whether I lived or died, and not just because they wanted something from me.
Why was fate so cruel?
My hands rose to push Alec away as frustration and hurt rose to combat the wash of ease and safety he couldn't help but bring out. It wasn't fair. It was so hard to fight against it when giving in seemed so easy and luring.
Maybe it was pointless fighting against it so hard. Doing so just made the bond push back harder, making it even more difficult to keep my thoughts from straying to him and his brothers. The one I had expected everything from, took everything from me, while the ones who tried to break me were promising me everything he took and more. What was the worse that could happen?
I could be burned again. I had a feeling it would be far worse than anything I had experienced before. I didn't know if I could handle that, if I could handle any more. All that remained of my heart was charred remains, anything more would just crumble it into a fine dust.
"Aris?" Alec questioned as he backed off at my push, still keeping me pinned beneath his weight.
"Get off!" I snapped, my voice coming out in part a growl as I exerted myself uselessly to shove him off further.
He snapped my wrist up in his hands and pinned them above my head again, bringing his face level with mine. His nose brushed against mine, trying to distract me from the hurt that had me lashing out.
I wasn't the one they wanted. I never was.
"What happened?" He demanded, the gentle tactics he had started with dissipating as a hardness entered his tone.
"Noth-"
"That wasn't nothing. Not what I felt or what I saw. Enough with the lies. I'm done with this little dance, I want the truth!"
"I could say the same!" I snapped back. He never failed to rial me up with his demands.
"No, you can't." His eyes narrowed. "We haven't lied to you, not when I was chasing a twisted vision of power, or after when I had come to accept what I really wanted. You just aren't ready to see that."
I went to refute his claims, but I couldn't. He was... telling the truth. He hadn't kept it a secret how much he despised me and wanted me gone when we first met. His treatment just drove his point home. Until he decided he wanted something from me. Children.
Flames of anger licked against the blackened remains of my heart, hardening it more than the scared tissue already was.
I leveled him with eyes that I made sure would get my words across. "I've seen plenty, Alec. I'm not interested in giving you what you want. There are plenty of children out there in need of a home, I'm sure you can find a perfect match-"
"Is that what you think that I want?" He shook his head. Letting go of a wrist, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes, to face the truth in his words that I could feel thrumming in my chest. "I want children, but not if it would cost me you. You're what I want-"
"I'm not a thi-"
"Who I want. It just took me a while to realize it. You will too, if you let yourself. You're human, you don't know the significance of our bond yet."
"But you did." My voice came out quiet and lacking the anger it had been carrying until now, but it was still there, just below the surface. I gave him a smile that didn't reach my eyes. "And you chose to kill me to free yourself. It must not be all that important." Just like the bonds that I shared with everyone else in my life. I was sure the one I shared with Max would also fade away once I managed to escape. It wasn't worth it. He would come to realize that. Maybe Vince would help him considering he could barely stand babysitting me.
His lips pulled down in a frown. "No, it is. I was just too... afraid to accept it." His teeth ground down as his eyes bounced between mine with hesitance. They harden as he made a decision. "I'm sorry." I blinked, thinking I had misheard, but he continued, ensuring me I hadn't. "I disrespected our bond out of misplaced fear. It was because I knew how important you were. The moment I caught your scent, I knew you would be the end of me, of my brothers. And it scared me. In a world where we had no weaknesses, you presented yourself, the biggest weakness possible, a human soulmate. I let old fears from a shitty childhood control me.
I know that a simple apology won't be enough, it isn't enough, but, after what I felt..." His hand rose to roughly rub at his chest above his heart. "I need to know Aris. I need answers."
My mouth which had parted in surprise at the apology snapped shut as his following words registered. They brought with them a violent need to question him about the childhood he mentioned. I pushed it aside, refusing to give him the opportunity to gain my sympathy.
"Why? What would they change?"
He answered immediately, leaning down towards me. "A lot."
Our breaths mingled together as we looked into each other's eyes. I had never seen his eyes so soft before.
The calm before a storm.
"Why?"
"Because... fuck! You know why!" He hissed as he released my wrist and pulled back to sit on my thighs, keeping his weight off my body and on his knees. "What happened that night, Aris?" He demanded, seeming to be done being patient or trying to play nice.
"I thought you already knew."
"I thought so too..." His voice came out so quiet that I had doubts those words were meant to reach my ears. He sighed, dropping his head a fraction. "If anything else happened, the pain of the bond's betrayal would have overshadowed it. Willing or not," he grated out through his teeth. You need to tell me, Aris. Tell me that what's running through my head right now is wrong." A moment of silence followed. His eyes dug into mine. "Please."
Though it looked like it hurt him to say it, the unexpected plea from his lips had my eyes snapping to his from where they had drifted to his tightened lips. My eyes bounced between his. The desperation they held twisted my heart in my chest uncomfortably.
"What if I can't?" My voice was quiet but seemed to echo in the silence of the room.
His eyes widened. I realized my mistake in letting the truth slip as I watched his eyes darken as the truth dawned.
"It doesn't matter." I rushed to get out, trying to do damage control when I felt the chill in his eyes seep into my skin. I could feel his control straining. I didn't want to know what would happen when it broke. Not again. "You killed him. Ripped his heart out-"
"It does." His voice sounded strained. Darkness fought to override the blue in his eyes and turn them into voids. "It does matter," he repeated, clenching them shut. When he opened them again, they were the blues I couldn't seem to forget.
"It didn't when you barged into that room. It doesn't now."
"It changes everything-"
"Why?" I cut him off. My eyes narrowed "Because it makes you feel better to know that I was raped? That I didn't fuck someone that wasn't you willingly?"
His jaw tightened. He fisted his hands against his thighs, digging his knuckles in. He remained silent, fighting off the encroaching darkness in his eyes. A battle he seemed to be losing.
His silence had a cynical laugh bubbling out. "It does, doesn't it?"
His teeth ground together as the blue almost completely vanished. "Aris-"
His words were cut off as the door slammed open. My head turned to see Jace enter with a bare, dirt-streaked chest, heaving as he blew sweat-coated strands of hair from his eyes. His eyes darted around the room wildly until they landed on me. Once they did. His shoulders dropped as he breathed out a sigh of relief.
I took my attention off him to focus on Alec as I gave him what he wanted.
"What was running through your head was right, Alec, Simon raped me. I hope that makes you feel better."
He flinched at my words as his eyes turned completely black. The familiar sight didn't strike the fear I had expected; fear that I had experienced in the past. Instead, they felt... safe?
"What did you say?" Jace said from the door, his voice deathly calm. It struck more fear in me than the stillness that overtook Alec's body.
I turned my head to meet his green eyes. "I was just reassuring your brother that I didn't fuck Simon that night. You walked in on him raping me."
His shoulders that had just relaxed stiffened again as his eyes instantly turned black, matching his brother's.
Except he didn't hold a fraction of his control.
The need to lash out and inflict pain on them was only satisfied for a moment, before the cutting truth that I couldn't take back what I had just announced slashed through it with paralyzing fear.
Alec was right. My answer had changed things. I had known it would, it's why I had intended to keep it to myself. It was easier to push down the aching want to just give in when it was backed by that pain-filled night. They couldn't try to fix what they didn't know.
But now they knew. And it may just have broken one of them.
More than he already was, whispered a voice inside me. The same one that wouldn't stop pushing me to give in to the growing want I felt in their presence. The one that always knew more than it should. The bond.
While the sight of Alec's eyes didn't do much to scare me, reassurance thrumming in my chest that I was safe when I looked into the darkness, Jace was another case. His eyes had the fear I had been expecting surging forward, making my heart thrash against my chest. It only grew worse. My eyes widened as they remained glued to the sight making it difficult to breathe. Jace's eyes weren't the only thing that changed.
My body stiffened as I watched him react to my words. His breaths grew faster as he pulled his lips back to reveal lengthening fangs. Bring my arms to my chest, my mouth grew dry as I watched the sharp white points glint dangerously as he took a step forward. Just the sight had the scar on my neck itching.
Feeling and witnessing the physical shift take place in me, Alec pulled back, removing some more of the weight he had been using to pin me in place. Jerking his eyes away from me stiffly, he followed my line of sight toward Jace. His frown deepened when he caught sight of his brother.
In a blink, the remaining weight on top of my legs vanished. It was sudden enough that it jerked my attention away from the stomach-turning sight of Jace's skin that appeared to be moving as though something was crawling beneath it to find Alec missing.
Jerking to an upright potion, I crawled back to the opposite side, kicking at the bed to help push me faster. When I ran out of bed to support myself as I reached back, I tumbled down to the hard floor below, landing with a stifled groan. Clutching at the elbow I had used to break my fall, I pressed the pain away while struggling to find my way back to my feet, but my eyes didn't fail to keep sight of the danger my body was signaling was near.
Rising to my knees, I decided against moving further when a peek over the bed had me wanting to curl up and hide. So I did. Lowering myself back down, I made myself as small as I could while my hands curled around the edge of the mattress. My eyes peered just above the rumpled sheets as my heartbeat tried to drown out the faint growl that made its way to my ears.
My fingers tightened, pulling the sheets taunt as I watched the hair visible on Jace's arms thickened as the muscles beneath his skin continued to ripple unnaturally.
When my eyes landed on Alec as he stood before Jace whose expression was twisted with unleashed wrath. A cold rock landed in my stomach as a new fear filled my every nerve ending. One I hadn't experienced before. It was fear for Alec.
I could see the need for blood glistening in Jace's black pits. Alec's blood, if his narrowed focus had anything to say.
"Jace," Alec firmly said as Jace's nails lengthened into curved claws.
A growl ripped its way from his throat, stopping Alec short as he stepped toward him. His was body lined with violence just waiting to break free.
"You." Jace's voice came out guttural, nearly incomprehensible. "You got there first."
With his back towards me, all I could see was Alec's shoulders stiffened and his jaw clenched. Jace on the other hand, I had a clear view of. The pounding fear in my chest grew as I watched the bones in his shoulders begin to shift. As they cracked and move to make him grow larger, his back curved to keep his eyes level with Alec who stood unmoving. He hadn't moved since I had noticed him stiffen.
"You-"
"Control yourself," Alec cooly cut him off. Not a hint of the foreign torment I felt raging in my chest was audible in his tone. "You can blame me late-"
He didn't get to finish. His stern reprimand only agitated him further. Releasing an animalistic growl, Jace lunged at him, claws raised at the ready, aiming for his neck.
A scream sounded in my ears as the scene before me erupted into motion. It only took a moment for it to register as mine. Sharp pain sliced its way through my throat as the harrowing noise ripped its way out. The dread in my stomach deepened when my panic distracted Alec, allowing Jace to tackle him to the ground.
I scrambled up to my feet when both of them disappeared from view, falling to the floor where the bed blocked my line of sight. Pulling myself onto the mattress again, my eyes caught sight of them just as Alec kicked Jace off of him, sending him flying back towards the door.
I grimaced as he landed on his back, his head cracking back against the hardwood floor. It didn't seem to affect him though. He recovered immediately, rolling over and to his feet in a snap while Alec had just begun to rise, moving a beat slower.
When my eyes snapped back to Alec they widened in panic He was looking at me, his eyes drawn from the scream that had ripped its way out, signaling my fear for him. They were wide, hints of blue peaking through with the surprise directed towards me. Surprise that grew when my shouted warning followed. With his eyes on me, he couldn't see Jace preparing to launch himself at him again.
"Look out!"
Though the words rushed past my lips, they weren't fast enough, not compared to Jace's inhuman speed. My eyes widened as I watched his body ripple and shift mid-air as he lunged forward. Fur erupted over his flesh, his pale flesh being replaced by sheer darkness as his bones snapped and popped until his body morphed itself into that of a sleek, black, wolf. One so dark I could barely make out his features despite the room being filled with light. The process took a split second, but my eyes caught every pain-filled detail of it, slowing it down as it seared itself into my memory. Part in curiosity, but mostly in horror.
The black wolf that had taken Jace's place slammed into Alec just as he turned his head at my warning. I flinched at the impact, my eyes shutting to block out the sight of blood that I was sure would follow.
"Stop!" The word came out in a thick shout as tears filled my throat. I hadn't expected that seeing Alec being attacked would have tears blurring my sight and burning behind my eyes. Cracking my eyes open, I couldn't keep in the sob that tore its way out when I caught sight of Jace latched onto Alec's forearm. It would have been his neck if he hadn't reacted in time.
"It's not his fault!" I shouted as I crawled my way across the bed towards the two wrestling figures on the floor.
It was Simon's. The truth in the words hit harder than expected. No one but he was to blame for what he did. Not even the monsters that I wanted to pin it all on.
"Jace!" I continued to plead, but once again my voice fell on deaf ears. Ones that were pinned back and flat. He gave his head a hard shake, painfully jerking Alec's arm. His teeth tore further into his arm, freeing additional rivulets of blood to flow down his arm.
Alec gritted his teeth against the assault as he tried to gain the upper hand without shifting into what I had a feeling would be an equally if not more terrifying beast. His fangs lengthened to show between his pursed lips, but his shift ended there. No fur sprouted over his arms and no muscles or bones shifted out of place.
Though the thought of him hurting Jace turned my stomach, the dread that accompanied the thought of Jace ripping his throat out and killing him far outweighed the discomfort.
As frustration had more tears rising to blind me, a faint vibrating noise reached my ears. The sound intensified when Alec managed to roll him and Jace over, revealing the source of the noise. A phone.
The screen was lit as the phone sounded against the floor, the hardwood accentuating the noise. A blink cleared my eyes, sending tears rolling down my cheeks as they widened to take in the name lighting the screen.
I couldn't get them to stop, but maybe...
Snapping my eyes to the two wrestling their way towards the closet, I quickly made my way to the edge of the bed. Swinging my legs over, I quietly landed on my bare feet. Keeping an eye on the two as snarls and grunts sounded, I darted towards the device. When I reached it, I didn't hesitate to drag my finger across the screen to answer it. Putting it to my ear, I retreated against the wall furthest from where the two had fought their way to.
"Al-"
"Luca, help!" I rushed out the moment I heard him answer, my lowered voice sounding breathless as my chest constricted at the sight of Alec landing a well place punch to the side of Jace's head.
"Aris?" My heart thumped violently. "What's wrong?" He rushed to question, his voice hardening with worry.
"I need your help! I can't make him stop, he's going to kill him!" I could see it in the aggression lining his animal body.
"Who's going to kill who?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm, but I could hear the strain the effort took to do so. "What happened?
"Jace. He's going to kill Alec." Fresh tears turned the room into a haze of colors, as frustration at being useless filled my chest. Not only could I do nothing to stop what was happenings a few feet away from me, but I had also been the catalyst that started it. My sight cleared as another blink had wet trails of warmth making their way down my already wet cheeks.
"I told them something that I shouldn't have," I said into the phone, answering his second question.
"What?" He asked, softening his tone after hearing the emotions filling mine. None of them good.
I started shaking my head immediately, flinching to a stop at the sound of a whined yelp from Jace. "I can't tell you."
"Why?" His question was followed by the faint sound of a door being shut.
I once again shook my head, knowing he couldn't see the action. I didn't care. "What if you react like him?"
I didn't realize I had questioned him out loud until he responded. "I won't. I promise, love."
I wanted to believe his words and the reassurance that they promised, but I couldn't. Not with the sight playing out before me. Something told me that Luca, despite his deceptively calm voice, would take the truth worse than Jace.
"I can't, Luca" my voice cracked. "Please," I pleaded as I witnessed Jace's claws shed more of Alec's blood. My hand tightened on the phone. "Please, just make them stop. Jace is going to kill him."
"He won't," he answered immediately, his voice holding confidence that the sight before me contradicted. "I'm on my way-"
A loud crash sounded, drowning out the rest of Luca's words. I flinched, the phone dropping from my hand as I stumbled back to avoid the falling tray that held the food Alec had made. It flew in my direction, crashing onto the floor and shattering the dishes to pieces.
It wasn't almost being hit that had my heart leaping into my throat, though. It was the sight of Jace's naked body on top of Alec's, his hands locked around his neck, strangling him.
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