Viel
And true enough, Pascal is Otto. Magkakahilera kami ng tech team ni Kairos na parang naglalaro kami sa isang com shop. I straightened my back, feeling like the boss in the room. Kairos allowed me to work with them on uncovering who is using Pascal's identity.
Si Kairos naman ay kagagaling lang sa isang meeting kasama ang mga underboss.
"He's in Mexico," I announced. Yun nga lang ay ibang identity naman ang gamit niya. Walang record na lumisan ng Italy si Pascal. Doon pansamantalang nagtago si Otto nitong mga nakaraan. He used a different name this time, going to Mexico.
Kairos crossed his arms while standing behind me. He watched his soldiers work, but he was especially attentive to me.
"Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng kasunduan ang mayroon si Otto at si Marquez kung sakaling may mangyari kay Marquez," Kairos stated. "Pero siguradong ang mag ina ni Marquez ang sadya niya sa Mexico."
"Bakit nga ba pinapoprotektahan mo pa kay Mascorro ang mag ina ni Marquez?" sabi ni Atlas na kararating lang sa headquarters. "Technically, they're enemies. Bakit ba may pakialam ka kung ano ang mangyari roon sa dalawa? You could've just returned them to their home and let Otto retreive them."
Tumango si Evander. "We could've trapped Otto that way."
Gideon smirked and clapped a hand on Atlas's shoulder in a mock encouragement.
"Marami ka pang dapat matutunan."
Atlas scowled. Vashka looked amused then back to his poker face nang madaanan ako ng kanyang paningin. He really hates me.
"Tingin mo ba, hindi naisip yan ni Otto?" Kairos asked. "We're not achieving anything if we choose the most obvious trap."
"What was your initial plan, then? Sinwerte ka lang ngayon. Kung wala si Viel ay hindi mo malalaman kung saan nagtatago si Otto. Hindi mo rin malalaman na sumunod ngayon si Otto sa mag ina ni Marquez gamit ang ibang pangalan. How did you plan to lure him?"
Kairos glowered at Atlas. Questioning him is an insult to him. It discredits him as a capo.
"Get out and have some fresh air, Atlas," he said in a calm but threatening undertone. "Find some lady in Pangasinan who is willing to fuck, then fuck that attitude out of you. Bumalik ka rito kapag handa ka nang respetuhin ako."
Some soldiers managed to keep a straight face and continue with their work. But others still aren't purely immune to Kairos's unbridled ferocity. Some of them visibly trembled slightly. Mas mukha silang bata kumpara sa ibang tauhan ni Kairos. I guess they are the newly initiated members of Despidados.
I gave a small smile to Atlas. We're not friends, but he treats me the most decently out of three brothers. Kairos really sees everyone equally. Kahit ang kapatid niya ay hindi niya pinalagpas.
Sa huli ay ngumisi lamang si Atlas ngunit bakas sa ang iritasyon sa kanyang ekspresyon.
"I'm off. All debtors have paid by the way, salamat na lang sa sipag ko. Hindi lang ikaw ang kumikilos dito, Kairos."
With one last angry glance toward the eldest De Cordova, he exited the room.
"Atlas has a point, Kairos. Ano nga bang plano mo roon sa mag ina?" si Gideon naman ngayon ang nagtanong. For a second I feared there will be another confrontation. Pero agad namang nawala ang pangambang yon dahil sa nakita ko sa pagitan nila.
Nalingat lang ako nang sandali dahil may itinuro si Evander sa monitor ko. Tumango ako bago bumaling muli kay Kairos at Gideon.
Kairos and Gideon regarded each other with mutual respect. And that made me curious. What have Gideon done to gain the most feared De Cordova's respect?
Kairos evaded the question.
"Let's stop focusing on the initial plan. Everything went in the direction that favors us. That's what matters the most."
Just like that, no further questions were asked.
Sobra sobra ang ngiti ko nang nagkakaroon ng mga resulta ang ginagawa ko. And everytime the team nodded at me in approval, I feel like I could burst.
"You're good at this," puri sa akin ni Evander. "I'm surprised your father allowed you this hobby."
Mapakla akong ngumiti. "For people who are always busy like my papa? Wala na yata silang oras para mapansin kung anong ginagawa ko. He doesn't even know that I graduated in Com Sci."
Ikiniling niya ang kanyang ulo. The closest to sympathy he could show. Why did I even open up to a Despiadados soldier?
I heard a low growl from the other end of the room. Isang sulyap ni Evander sa likuran ko ay agad siyang nag iwas ng tingin sa akin at nagseryoso sa kanyang trabaho.
I rolled my eyes. Only one man can evoke obedience from a guy as tough as Evander.
"That's enough for today," Unti unting nawawala ang pagpipigil ng aking asawa.
I had so much words at the tip of my tongue na hindi ko lang masabi dahil sa kaalamang siya na ang may hawak ng kapalaran ko. When you give up control to Kairos De Cordova, he truly takes over. I could only glare up at him.
He threw me one malevolent look and I was up my chair.
Dinaanan lang niya ang mga tauhan niyang nagpapaalam sa kanya kaya ako na lang ang kumakaway sa kanila para hindi sayang.
"Vivendel," his voice boomed like a thunder when he got several feet away. Natatagalan kase ako sa pagbati sa mga taong inisnob niya lang.
I could swear the new initiates close by almost flinched but caught themselves. If Kairos saw evidence of intimidation in his soldiers, he'd eliminate them immediately.
I ran in a not so eye pleasing way towards him. He watched me na parang hinihintay niya akong makaabot sa kung kinatatayuan niya. His hard expression softened a bit when I held his clothes for support dahil kung hindi ay tatama ako sa kanya o kaya naman ay maaout of balance. And by softened a bit, I meant barely.
"Bakit ang aga nating aalis?" Ayaw kong mag assume pero may pagkapossessive kase siya kahit noon. Nagalit ba siya dahil sa pag uusap namin ni Evander?
Kairos's body went rigid, put a protective arm on my wrist and pulled me behind him, then turned around. Nakasunod sa amin si Vashka. Paano niya narinig 'yon? Ni hindi ko nga naramdaman na may bagong presensya rito.
His body relaxed at the sight of the person he trusts the most.
"Problem?"
Umiling si Vashka. "The men are playing cards. At ayaw ko silang kalaban. They're not much challenge to me. I'm going to our casino."
Dumaan kami roon sa pinasukan namin kanina para malapit na lang sa kung saan kami nakapark.
Vashka went the opposite way. I suspect he parked somewhere on that side. At kung hindi man, that's certainly because he doesn't want me anywhere close to him. His allergy strikes when I'm in sight.
Kairos was quiet on our way home. I feared for the entire city. Anywhere he'd set his eyes on, mukhang gusto niyang gibain. Mapa kalsada, sasakyan, restaurant, mall, eskwelahan, o simbahan ay walang nakaligtas sa madilim niyang tingin.Baka wala nang matira rito kung masagad ang kung anuman ang kinasasama ng loob niya.
At panigurado ay wala rin namang maidudulot ang pagtatanong ko kundi ang mas lalong mairita siya kaya nanahimik ako.
But in my private thoughts, I listed all possible reasons that lead to his current state.
Atlas talking back in front of their soldiers. But Kairos isn't the type to let a person get to him. Magagalit man siya, he'll reclaim his power immediately. But Atlas is his brother. I guess it hits harder when it comes from a family member?
Was he mad at himself for letting something happen between us in his office? Possibly. Getting involved physically with someone means you are slowly putting a barrier down and giving them access to you. And for someone who thinks high of himself, he doesn't like it when people get too close. It's like giving power to the weak.
Or maybe he's worked up. He's been busy catching the syndicate, while at the same time keeping watch of the both Mancinis and Islas. After the recent attack, he's confident that both will not stage another attack so soon.
At one point during that drive back home, gusto ko pang humanap ng paraan para kausapin si papa at patigilin siya sa gulong ito. Pero naisip ko, natural na reaksyon naman ang gumanti siya dahil anak niya ako. Talagang ipaghihiganti niya ako at susubukang iligtas. Why do I want him to stop? Kung tutuusin nga ay dapat akong matuwa sa paghihirap ni Kairos. I may not have directly executed revenge on him but fate did the work for me.
Pero yon ba talaga ang gusto ko?
Wala pa rin kaming imikan pagkarating sa mansyon. He opened the car door for me but he looked so distant. He doesn't look like he was aware of what he's doing when he opened my door. Pagkasarado niya ng pinto ay kinain niya ang distansya ng parking garage at ng main door sa iilang mga hakbang lang. He walked ahead of me like he walked past a litter he refused to pick up.
Assuming he wanted to be alone ay pumunta ako sa kitchen para makakuha ng malamig na tubig. And I also felt a bit peckish so I looked for some snack I could nibble on.
Yun nga lang ay walang biscuits o chips sa pantry. I just settled for a peanut butter sandwich and leaned on the counter. Then I wondered what peanut butter and jelly tasted like while idly standing in the middle of the kitchen.
"Vivendel!"
A cold voice echoed. I shivered like someone poured a drum of snow over me. The poor peanut butter sandwich did not even get halfway eaten when Kairos entered the kitchen, looking like a feral animal.
"Saan ka nanggaling?"
I blinked. We left and got back home together. Pinagbuksan pa nga niya ako ng pinto, hindi ba? Anong ibig niyang sabihin na saan ako nanggaling?
"Uh... in the kitch-"
Napatili ako nang walang babala niya akong binuhat at nilapag sa dining table na parang isang putahe. Hawak ang magkabilang palapulsuhan ko ay ipinako niya iyon sa ibabaw ng aking ulo. At mukhang wala nang saysay sa kanya ang salitang distansya dahil sa sobrang lapit ng kanyang mukha sa akin. I could almost feel his lips as it hovered over mine waiting to be pulled in.
"What the heck?!" I exclaimed. Wala pa nga akong fight training ay tinetesting niya na yata kaagad ang self defense skills ko.
"You didn't follow after me when we got inside the house. Why? Afraid I'll see how much you want Evander Montealegre?"
Mabibilaukan na yata ako sa sarili kong laway dahil sa narinig.
"Nababaliw ka na ba? Wala akong gusto kay Evander!" I sucked in a sharp breath before trying to fight him off. Nagritwal na ako sa aking utak para lang masummon ang lahat ng lakas ko para maitulak palayo si Kairos sa akin.
We were chest against chest. Our breathing took alternate paces. When I inhale, he exhales. When I exhale, he inhales. Our chests were neither duelling with each other nor pulling away from each other. It feels like we're both breathing for one body.
"Really?" He smirked sardonically. "Your looked like a five year old seeing chocolates, unicorns, and prince charmings while talking to him."
I feel slightly guilty na habang galit na galit siya ay naliliyo lang ako sa lapit namin, at nadidistract ako sa amoy at sa brusko niyang mukha na mas lalong nakakapagpagwapo sa kanya.
"S-syempre naexcite lang a-ako... kase..." Hindi ko makompleto ang pangungusap.
"Because what?" His guttural voice sent foreign sensations from my nape down my spine. "Excited at the sight of him?"
Sa itsura niya ay parang gusto niyang patayin ang sariling kamiyembro. Knowing him, he wouldn't hesitate to do it. Hindi kawalan ang sinuman sa kanya as long as he has himself.
"Because... I g-got to meet someone...w-with similar interest as me. And I'm...happy that I'm finally utilizing what I can for something useful."
My lips thinned. The reason why I'm trembling has more to do with his strong torse above mine. He could probably squeeze me to death if he puts all of his weight over me. However, I'm thrilled rather than horrified.
Pinning my hands above me is useless at this point, when I'm immobilized like this. How will I make an escape attempt if my legs feel like cooked noodles?
"Who Is your husband, Vivendel?"
I can't keep up with the rapid fire questions! My mind can't function properly, juggling between comprehending his words and being a thirsty bitch.
"You... mi diablo," I whispered both to him and to hope that the endearment would work.
His face gleamed with something sinister. Twisted satisfaction. Possession. A cruel cage seducing you into letting yourself get locked inside his bars.
"And who do you look at, talk to, and smile at, wife?"
A question for me, but one he expected me to give an answer he wants to hear. If he hears something displeasing to his ears, I wonder what he'll do to me.
My core clenched.
"You, Kairos," I repeated like a prayer.
"You seem to be enjoying yourself more with Evander fucking Montealegre." Para akong lumalangoy sa galit ng karagatan. Gusto kong umahon para sa isang malalim na paghinga ngunit hindi siya nagpapahintulot. Dinadala akong muli lakas ng kanyang hampas. Lulunurin para parusahan.
Umiling ako. Truly, I'm confused about how I feel. And yet, one thing is for sure. No one could make me feel more than this. I hate him, but at the same time, find my toes curling in his presence. I'm mad at him for jailing me in this mansion. I want to see the world and lot of things I was kept from. But another part of me found it okay to be restrained, as long as he's the one who holds the key to both my confinement and freedom.
He evokes variety of feelings out of me. And I feel it all with the same intensity toward him.
"Why do you think I'm mad right now, Poet? What is the thing I hate the most?"
Halos mapapikit na ako sa ginagawa niya.
"When I divide my attention, mi diablo," I reply breathily. The response so automatic on my tongue.
"Will you do it again?"
I shook my head kahit na nawawala na ako sa huwisyo at wala na masyadong kaalam alam sa tanong niya.
"Words, Poet," mariin niyang utos.
"Hindi na."
He hummed in satisfaction and loosened his grip on both my wrists but still not allowing me to pull it down.
"Let me make this damn clear. When I say you're mine, it's not just you carrying my name and sharing my bed. Your glances should only be my way. Your voice should be for my ears. Whatever nonsense you like to talk about should be heard by me first. Your hand should hold on to me. And your place is not anywhere but beside me unless I permit you to be somewhere else. Your mouth and your wetness are mine."
He swiped a thumb across my lips and brushed my slit suggestively. I would've bucked so high trying to chase the touch if he didn't pin my hips down.
"That's too controlling, Kairos. It's not healthy."
"The only nourishment I need comes from controlling your life, Poet."
I swallowed.
"Why?" I asked. "Why were you jealous? Do you want me, Kairos?"
Nagkaroon na ako ng lakas para maibaba ang kamay ko. I cradled his face in my hands. His jaw clenched on my palm as he went still above me.
"Kairos, do you want me?" I whispered desperately. I needed to know.
His lips tipped up. My face fell down seeing that look. An overwhelming sense of doom overcame my entire system.
"I don't." Ginamit niya ang nakatukod niyang kamay sa mesa upang itulak ang sarili palayo. He looked normal. Threatening but not ready to kill.
I slowly sat up the table.
"I'm not jealous," he denied. "Jealousy means the other has something that I want. But I don't want you. Why do I have to be jealous?"
Pain stabbed me by the chest. Why? I may have non platonic feelings toward him but it's not that seriou, right? I desire him physically. Kaya bakit ang sakit nito ngayon?
I looked down.
"Next time you get that close to one of my soldiers again, Vivendel..."
"You'll discipline me?" I blurted without thought. Naalala ko lang bigla ang ganyan niyang tono kanina sa office nang hindi ko sundin ang utos niya.
He looked stunned and proud at the same time.
"I was gonna say there'll be bloody murder, but it seems you have better ideas than me. So yes, I'll discipline you."
None of those threats affect me. Not when I felt agonizing rejection. More than what I felt when he didn't show up during my prom and the days that followed.
So, I really was just something to possess. He's not jealous because his feelings got hurt at the sight of me with other men. Only his pride was bruised.
He sees himself on a higher ground. He doesn't want anything accessible to him to be easily accessible to others.