Peter assumes he doesn't look too good because when he sees Debra, the next day, she doesn't make any jokes or tries to be playful with him as usual. For once, he knows he looks horrible and no one makes a “you look awful” joke.
He wore simple comfortable clothes. His wishes to remain professional and dress nice to have others naturally open up to him, lost.
A long sleeved black shirt under his loose t-shirt, baggy comfortable jeans were the outfit of the day (only because he felt bad wearing joggers and a hoodie).
His usual messenger bag had been changed for his old backpack where he had all his notes and mind maps of useless ideas as well as his laptop.
Dressed casual, like any other person, except people had only ever seen him dressed either too nerdy or too smart… at least the kids in the school thought he looked cool and “younger” (which wasn’t as good as it sounded as Peter already had a baby face- sounding any younger sounded terrible)
The moment he entered the counseling room, Mrs pabby was there to give him the stink eye he had feared a week ago, now he just couldn’t care less.
She glared at him as he refused to greet her, instead, he just sat down on the blue sofa and let himself get comfortable, hearing an offended scoff from the woman before the door slammed.
At least Peter did something useful, he contacted a new children’s therapist he met in university, Mrs Paige. She was the eldest in the class he took but nice and gentle, he was sure she'd do wonderful here and had given the school’s and Debra’s details to her, knowing she needed a job in her area.
At least then Ellie would have someone to take care of her properly… Peter might or might have not asked Mrs Paige to pay close attention to Ellie if she did ever come to work here.
Not long after, a knock was heard at the door and a bundle of messy hair came in, Peter instantly sat up and smiled at the sight of Ellie.
She was wearing a graphic T-shirt Peter had gotten her and a skirt with knee high socks. Her shoes were still the same as last, old and almost ripping at the front, but she wore a bright smile that widened at the sight of Peter.
“Hello Mr Peter!” She greeted brightly and Peter felt some of the guilt in his chest ease just for knowing Ellie was cleaner and happier than before,
“Hello, Eleanor” he greeted, chuckling at how her nose scrunched up n distaste
“Ellie” she corrected
“Alright, Ellie” he said amused, watching as she jumped on the sofa, old backpack dropped at her side as she rummaged through it
“I'm glad you came back” she began, legs kicking excitedly “I wanted to thank you for the clothes” her tongue stuck out as her little hands seeked something, then with a gasp she pulled out a paper folded in the middle, drawings on it “Here!”
Reaching forwards, she placed the homemade card on the small table in front of them and pushed it towards Peter before sitting up once again. Her legs, which had been kicking happily, stilled as she began to fidget in a similar manner to Wade’s, cheeks slightly red as she shyly looked down.
“What’s this?” Peter asked as he took the paper in hand with care, opening it to see the large messy letters inside, colorfully spelling out “Thank you!”
“It’s a thank you card” Ellie was a bit more quiet than before, shy “for the clothes…”
Peter swallowed as he looked at the inside of the card, it was messy and some letters were larger than the others, in the corner was a drawing of a girl wearing clothes he recognized, standing next to a nerdy looking man with glasses, there were yellow lines around his face indicating his face was shining…much alike Wade’s own drawings. If Peter had to be honest, Ellie was a better artist than Wade…
And wasn’t that just the cherry on top?
Peter bit the inside of his cheeks, controlling the best he could his expression despite the heavy feeling in his chest, like a bunch of lines in knots where his lungs would be. The guilt kept growing, the feeling of strings tying his hands, being unable to do anything for their situation, burning his insides.
“Do you like it?” Ellie sounded unsure, her eyes were wide and almost afraid.
“Of course” Peter smiled honestly “It’s wonderful, Ellie, thank you” his voice was steady and his emotions schooled, all worth to see the way the girl in front of him grinned, eyes shining just like her father’s.
“Love the colours” his hand brushed on the drawing of the front of the card, it was a printed out drawing most likely given in class, it had glitter and was colored in crayons, some outside the lines. The words “To Peter” and “From Ellie” written far too big. It was perfect.
Gently, Peter placed the paper down on the table, smiling at how the young girl wiggled, flustered by the compliments, the smallest of smiles on her lips as she awkwardly thanked Peter.
“How has your day been going, Ellie?” Peter asked, maybe avoiding the whole issue he should be talking about
“We had to do group work today” Ellie began almost excitedly, fumbling over her words much alike how Peter does when talking about something he likes, much alike how he does from not having enough practice to do so… He wondered how many times she got to talk about her day to anyone.
“And they actually were really nice but one boy said I was trying too hard to be something i’m not just because I started dressing nice” Ellie continued to ramble “but I didnt punch him this time because I know he probably just has a crush on me” she said proudly, crossing her arms as she huffed
“Oh yeah?” Peter asked, amused
“Yeah! I've seen the movies!” she is bouncing n her seat “Girl gets makeover and sometimes boys pull girls hair because of a crush”
Peter couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, allowing Ellie to continue to talk about her day, telling him every detail she seemed to remember. She told him even things that didn't have to do with her, things she noticed or liked, and Peter listened with all the attention he had because they were important enough to Ellie to talk about them…because maybe he could tell Wade about it.
He asked a few more questions that didn't involve prying about things happening in her life or feelings- simple stuff parents would ask their kids or things he wished someone asked him when he was younger; “How was your day?”, “did you have fun?”, “what did you eat today? Was it good?”, “did you sleep well?”….
At some point, however, the conversation had to end… which Peter was honestly surprised as Ellie seemed to have a motor mouth.
“Why aren’t you asking about…bad stuff?” Ellie asked at last, smart girl she is
Peter hesitated, attention taken to the paper card on the table as he frowned slightly. With a deep breath, he stopped stalling
“I found something not too long ago” he said, keeping voice gentle and expression soft in order not to make her anxious “my patient’s name is Wade Winston Wilson” he said and Ellie froze, eyes wide “I’m your father’s counselor” he smiled, unsure if she knew what a therapist was so he used a word she knew
“You know my dad?!” she squealed but quickly went quiet, certainly too smart. Her excitement posture changed as she stared at Peter, worry in her eyes
“Is he ok?” she whispered and Peter’s chest clenched at how she worried over her father instead of demanding he came to take her back
“He’s still being taken care of…” he began to explain “but he is physically healthy” he reassured with a smile that turned apologetic as he said “he just…won't be leaving anytime soon”
“No” Ellie said
“I’m sorry” Peter frowned
“Dad will get better, he will” she crossed her arms, angry with Peter
“Yes, I will make sure he will” Peter said “but… I-“
Fuck, how was Peter supposed to tell her this? How was Peter supposed to let her know that her father won't be taking her back yet and probably won't make it in time to take her back?
“Can I see him?” Ellie asked once Peter said nothing, eyes big and pleading with hope
“Your orphanage doesn't allow” Peter frowned, looking away from her, unable to look her in the eye.
“oh…” She sounded so small, so disappointed. Peter heard the smallest sniffle as she asked
“Does this mean I’ll never get to see him again?”
“Someday” Peter couldn’t help but say “Someday he will leave the psych ward and hell be able to go find you…” he said
“Then he can be my daddy again?” Ellie asked, her big eyes filled with fat tears as she looked up at Peter. Crying from the answer she got which was only a saddened look from Peter.
“Ellie-“
“NO!” she shouted as the tears finally began to flow down her cheeks “Daddy will come for me” she insisted “He will”
Peter watched her messily rub at her eyes for a moment before finally standing and walking around the small table to sit besides her. He reached an arm around her shoulder and brought her close to his side, rubbing her arm comfortingly as the girl began to cry harder.
“Daddy can't leave me! It’s not fair!” she said in between breaths, voice wavering “It’s not fair!”
“He didn’t leave you, Eleanor sweetie” Peter said as gently as he could, turning her head with his hand so she could look up at him, so she could see he wasn’t lying “Your daddy loves you the most in the whole world” he said, Wade had never stated that but he knew, Peter knew it was true “He loves you so very much and wants what’s best for you, always has”
“Then why?” Ellie’s lip wobbled as she looked up at Peter, turning her body enough so she was facing him “Why?”
Peter only brushed a hair out of her face before she began to cry once again, jumping forwards to hold onto Peter’s shirt as she began to cry onto his chest. Her cries were just messy words, repeating the same things over and over as she wailed.
Peter hushed as he moved her to sit on his lap, moving his body forwards and back to soothe her and the ongrowing guilt in his very being.
The two remained like that for a while, Debra and Mrs Pabby had come in but before they interrupted anything, Debra had pulled MRS Pabby out of the room just before Ellie noticed.
The girl in his arms was a sniffling mess, eyes droopy and swollen from crying, nose red and puffy. Peter’s shirt was wet with snot and tears, wrinkled from how hard the girl had held on to him.
“Why can't I see daddy?” Ellie asked and Peter was afraid shed start crying again if he answered
“Your orphanage doesn't allow” he explained “if you want to visit him you’d need a guardian”
“but my dad is who I’m visiting” she looked up at him with an expression that said “thats stupid”. Peter understood
“I know” he sighed “I offered to take you and be responsible but I need to be your official guardian to do so” he leaned back on the sofa.
Ellie stared up at him, wide amber eyes set as she seemed to peer deep into his soul- seriously, Peter was surprised he hadn’t noticed she was Wade’s daughter, the two are so alike.
He looked down at her as well, hoping the smile he gave was comforting enough as he absently brushed his fingers on top of her head, soothing out the messy curls and hoping it was a soothing motion for her as well.
Finally, he choked as Ellie asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world:
“Why don't you just adopt me then?”