𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣' 𝙏𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐(𝟏𝟑)

{𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 — 𝐒𝐙𝐀}
0:31─〇───── 2:22
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

┊ ┊ ┊. ➶ ˚
┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧
┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁
☁

𝗦𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱! 𝗧𝗮𝗽 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗼...

𝓢𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪

𝓘 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓸𝓾tside the clinic with my heart in my hands. I stared at the sign, but still didn't walk in.

I chose to come alone, because if Brooklyn or Jai was here, they'd make me go in already. But, for some reason; I just wanted to think on this alone.

I placed a hand on my stomach. Although i didn't have a belly or anything, i knew i wasn't alone.

"I don't know if I wanna kill you." I frowned, looking down at my stomach. "I love my career, and it's finally taking off, but I dont—" My voice cracked and i felt my eyes tear up.

I walked back to the car and placed my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't do this. Not right now. My mental health felt fragile, and I was scared if I did, I wouldn't be okay for a while. I started my car and began the drive of shame home.

I walked in the house, confused because it was damn near pitch black dark, despite it being only 6 in the evening, Until everyone jumped out and yelled surprise. I looked around, and plastered a fake smile on my face.

Brooklyn came up and gave me a kiss. "I know it was hard baby, but i'm proud of you for going through with it anyways." All of a sudden my heart sank. i looked around again, and saw the decorations.

"You guys were gonna.." I paused, unsure how to feel. "Celebrate my abortion..?" I finished, with a confused tone. Brooklyn's face immediately softened and she tried to hug me but I just walked away. Once in my room I immediately closed and locked the door, and called my aunt.

All of this felt weird, especially considering I wasn't even sure about the abortion; but apparently everyone else was.

It rung for a few times before she answered. "Hey mookie, whats wrong?" Uzi answered, immediately softening his tone, once he saw my expression. "Hey Uzi, is my aunt around?" I asked quietly. There was music going on downstairs, and I didn't really need anyone knowing i was in my room instead of celebrating.

"She's in the middle of a shoot with Caresha. If you wanna talk i'm here mookie." He said sweetly. I really did love Uzi like he was my uncle.

"I went to the clinic today, for the appointment.. but i couldn't do it." I started. Uzi nodded, letting me know he was listening from across the screen. "And i came home, and everyone threw a party to celebrate me getting the abortion.." I finished. Uzi's eyebrows furrowed.

"Jai probably planned that damn party." Uzi muttered. I just looked down. "It's okay, okay? Me and Jatavia will be on the first flight home tomorrow. We'll help pick out clothes, and Jatavia will handle your career for you." Uzi reassured. I felt my eyes well up all over again.

It wasn't a lot, but for some reason; it made feel better knowing I had support.

"Thank you. I'll see you all tomorrow, Tell everyone i love them." I told him. Uzi nodded. "We love you too, keep your head up Mookie." Once we hung up, all i could hear was the music thumping loudly downstairs.

I could feel a headache beginning to form, and my mouth filled woth saliva. I gagged. Being pregnant definitely isn't for me.

I walked over to my bed and saw my laptop open, right where i left it. My notes were scattered everywhere. I looked around the room and realized how dirty it was. I grabbed my beats off the ground and slid them on. I played some ocean sounds loudly and started picking up stray clothes.

I started a deep clean in my room without realizing, and even rearranged a few things, including my bed. I started on my closet and and threw out a few things and went over to my bed.

I sat infront of my laptop and and looked at all the unfinished assignment tabs. In the flurry of everything, I'd almost forgotten I was a student.

I started looking over my sloppily written notes and began correcting, and before I knew it hours had passed and I'd finished all of my assignments that were due for the next few weeks.

I couldn't help but smile to myself, feeling productive. I made up my bed and put everything away before finally taking off my headphones, to still be greeted with loud chatter, and some loud music. I groaned loudly.

I was hungry. Very hungry.

I pouted before biting the inside of my cheek. I still had on some simple sweatpants and my college logo t-shirt. I threw on some black crocs and put my neatly done braids in a bun. I looked at myself in the mirror, and shrugged.

Fuck it.

I walked outside my room, and my head pounded as the loud music suddenly hit me.

I walked downstairs quietly, sneaking past a few people I didn't really know. Once I was down I slipped into the kitchen easily and made my way out the back. Once I smelled fresh air I smiled.

Good job Sosa!

"Sosalana?"

Damn.

"Brooklyn." I gave a shy smile towards her. She stared down at me, and laughed for a second. I furrowed my brows and walked past her. She followed me laughing as I got to my car.

"Why are you coming with me?" I asked irritated. Brooklyn gave me a warm smile. "I can't let my babymama go hungry. What are we eating?" I fought back the smile coming to my lips. I love and hate how easily my mood shifts around her.

"Well, I want pasta, but i also want some chipotle too.." I said as I opened the car door and got in, brooklyn mirrored my actions and i started the car.

"So we gettin' olive garden and chipotle?" She asked, i nodded slowly. "Yeah. we can sit in the car and eat. Afterwards you can smoke." I said after thinking for a second.

"No smoking?" She asked. I pointed to my stomach and started driving. "Plus, smoke makes me nauseous." I explained, and turned the radio up, singing along to the old music playing. I smiled widely. I was always inspired by Faith Evans. Her voice shook crowds.

"I never kneww there was aaaa—" I could hear brook drunkenly singing the lyrics. I immediately blocked her out from my hearing for the rest of the drive.

It was 9, and Olive Garden was closed early, so I had to settle on just chipotle. I was upset, but got over it once I realized how badly I wanted that bowl.

Once we got our food and drove back home, i excited made my way in. Brooklyn sat inside the car, and insisted on smoking in there.

  Once I walked inside some people were left around, most importantly, Tyler. I piped up immediately. "Hey, have you seen Jai anywhere?" I asked. There were only maybe two of three people in the room except for us, and most were semi-friends so i didn't really mind talking to him in the open.

He looked over at me and shook his head no. He looked like something was bothering him.

I frowned, and felt my stomach fill up with understanding. This baby and these mood swings were annoying me.

I offered him some of my food. "I'm gonna go in my room and wait for brooklyn. You want to watch Grey's anatomy with me while we wait?" I offered. Me and him didn't talk much, but i knew how it felt to kinda be alone in a room with people.

  He looked a bit hesitant, but nodded. We made our way upstairs, and got inside speedily. I sat the food down and picked up the scattered clothes, embarrassed by how i'd forgotten to clean the few shirts up. I guess since Brook didn't mind a few shirts thrown somewhere, i didn't either, despite cleaning.

  I sat down on the bed and began got on netflix to pull up the show while Tyler sat beside me. I began calling jai, and going straight to voicemail. I called a few more times. It rang the second, fourth, and sixth time; which let me know she was intentionally declining my calls.

I began eating the bowl I'd ordered while Tecca sat beside me quietly and tuned into the show. "So she just left?" I asked. He turned his head toward me before answering. "we were fine, then the party got kicked into full swing after you—" He paused. I nodded, knowing he meant went I ran up to my room. "—yeah. then she suddenly disappeared. I could't find bk, so i just sat on the couch and decided to mind my business." He shrugged.

  I nodded, and started to call brook. It rang a few times before she declined. Now i had a nasty scowl on my face, til she texted me and said she was playing music while she hotboxed, and sent a picture to prove it. The windows were foggy, and the whole car was smoked out. I felt myself calm down and i looked over at tyler, who was eating the chips i'd bought while watching the t.v. contently. I almost laughed.

"You ever watch this?" I asked randomly. He shook his head, and didn't take his eyes off. "No, but my moms did.. i never really saw why. Just normal niggas, with normal nigga problems.. only difference is they in a hospital." He explained. I nodded with a laugh. "I guess that's one way to see it." I agreed. I saw him grab his cigar pack and i immediately shook my head.

"Hold on, partna'." I said in a joking accent. "Got too much dip on ya' chip." He gave me a look. "the smoke makes me nauseous. I have some edibles I made earlier though." I smiled widely. And Tyler's eyebrows rose and he shrugged. I excitedly went into my small mini fridge and grabbed the plate of brownies. It was around 12 of them, and It was my 3rd time making edibles. I'd gotten pretty decent.

I took the plastic rap off and put them in my microwave that i kept ontop of the minifridge for a few seconds before taking them out.

  We both started eating the brownies, i only ate a whole one because I knew my limits, and I knew how much I put in them.

I looked over at tyler, who was eating his second. We both watched the episode, and started talking more about it, and I realized he was pleasant to talk to although he was quiet.

"You really remind me of my big brother." I shook my head with a laugh. It was funny because, he really did. Glasses and all. He looked over at me and laughed.

  "You look like someone big head lil' sister with those big ass sweatpants.." He remarked. I opened my mouth in shock before immediately throwing one of my small pillows at him.

Which in turn, he threw back at me. Which caused us to start throwing pillows at eachother like kids.

We were laughing and running around the huge house like children, Jai and Brook were out of my mind for a second since we were so focused.

It was so childish, but since the house was big enough; we could literally hide behind counters; couches, and have a big ass pillow fight.

I was hiding behind the kitchen counter when the front door opened. "Shh— Ty might still be in here." I immediately recognized jai's voice.

"Calm down. All we did was smoke, remember?" Brooklyn said. Jai and Brook made their way upstairs, giggling and flirting, making me finally poke my head out, to see tyler finally come from around the corner he'd hid behind.

I frowned, seeing his face. He looked hurt, and I'd expect him to be. I was too. I felt my eyes well up with tears, before my ears started to get hot from anger.

She promised me all this— for nothing?

To play with Jai? The girl who made fun of her— I forced Jai to accept Brooklyn. I confided in her about Brooklyn. She sat in my face this whole time playing with me?

I wiped my eyes quickly, and looked over at Tyler once more.

"You know what i feel like doing?" I said quietly. Tyler piped up confusedly. "I feel like taking a vacation." I smiled widely. He was confused.

"I'm gonna get a lodge for a week. I can't be around them, knowing—" I paused. "Knowing what I know now." I explained. Tyler looked over at the direction of the stairs in thought before nodding.

We immediate made our way out the door quietly, and slipped away.

• "𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓲𝓶𝓶𝓪 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾.. " •

🌸𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀!¡🌸

🌸 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗲?

🌸 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲, 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱; 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗱 😭😭, 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗿

🌸 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗯 𝘁𝗲𝗰𝗰𝗮 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝘀𝗮'𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽?😙 & 𝗝𝗮𝗶 𝘄 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗸?👀

🌸 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘆 ☕️😭

🌸 𝙡𝙪𝙫 𝙮'𝙖𝙡𝙡💕🌸