Song: PLAZA - Personal - [slowed & reverb]
Mia
When I wake up, my skin is hot and my pants are wet.
Immediate flashes of hands, hips and lips conjure up in my mind, and my eyes widen when I realise what they all are.
I had a wet dream, and Rocco was the main character.
I have no idea what the stimulation was, because I've been pissed at him since yesterday and none of those kinds of thoughts have even entered my mind, so this is unexpected.
It's bad, because I should be totally and completely mad at him right now, but I can't help rerunning that dream through my head.
I need to force it out, otherwise I'm going to give in to him and I really don't want to do that.
I need to figure myself out, and try to get my life sorted before worrying about my man problems.
I throw off the blankets, careful not to whack Zeus' sleeping form as I get up out of bed and walk over to the bathroom, my wrapped shoulder less painful but still sore. I need to change my bandages today because I don't want to get the wound infected.
The weather is getting colder now, and I'm pretty sure that in a few weeks winter will start to make a show and snow will finally begin to fall. I honestly can't wait because the wintery atmosphere is so cosy, and the soft snow beneath my feet brings a sense of comfort.
I wash up and tie my hair in a messy bun before discarding my pants and opting for a pair of shorts. The house is like a damn furnace, and I'm not subjecting myself to torturous heat in joggers.
I kiss Zeus on the head before making my way downstairs and into the kitchen, walking past the Tv that's playing a sports channel, and the man sitting on the sofa.
I can feel his gaze on me as I walk past, but I don't look at him, pretending he's not there as I open up the fridge to find something to eat.
I'm still shocked as to why he would lie to me, and so easily too. It never seemed like he knew me, not once, but I guess he's a pro at deception and manipulation. It only hurts more thinking about it.
I close the fridge after not finding anything appetising, and remind myself that I need to buy some more cherries along with some dog food for Zeus, so I put it on my mental to-do list for today, right before looking for job prospects.
I'm hoping to find somewhere in a Cafe or a calm working environment, but at this point I'll get anything I can. Plus, I can't be picky with where I work considering my lack of experience on the matter.
I fill up a cold glass of water, hoping to calm my nerves from Rocco's intense stare on my back, but the drink does nothing to quell my anxiety.
I think back to all those years lost, forgotten for so long because no one cared about me enough to tell me. Maybe if I died in that crash it would have given everyone some relief to the torture they seem to suffer from at having me around.
For the millionth time in my life, I question.
Why?
.............................................
A text buzzes in my jacket pocket as I walk through the elevator doors back into the apartment.
I managed to grab a couple boxes of cherries along with some of Zeus' favourite dog food, and am now dropping it off before I head back out again to search for any vacancies at local stores.
I dig out my phone and come up with a message from Gianna telling me she's 'on her way up'. I haven't seen her since before Italy, and I've really missed the girl company. Being around men for too long is exhausting, and I sigh in relief at some escape from it.
I walk to the kitchen and deposit the cherries in the fridge, no sign of Rocco anywhere as I shed my coat and shoes.
The clicking of heels turns my attention to the tall girl walking towards me, clad in a black mini dress, lean legs exposed and hair done up in a neat ponytail.
"Mia, God it's been ages. I've missed you." I smile softly at her as she walks up to me and wraps me up in her arms, her flowery scent engulfing my senses.
"I've missed you too." She squeezes me once before letting go and pinching my cheeks, making me let out a small laugh at her scrunched up face.
"Ugh, you're so cute. Anyway, you missy, need to get ready. I'm taking you out tonight." The big grin on her face nearly melts me, and I look at her dress one more time, an eyebrow raised as I consider where we might be going.
I'm not totally stupid.
"I've never been to a club before, Gianna." I cross my arms over my chest and stare at her, her smile only widening as she puts her hand on my shoulders, staring straight into my soul. I wince slightly at the contact, and she loosens her grip, a concerned expression coating her face.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I forgot about that." She pointedly looks at my injured shoulder with a small glare. "I'm honestly going to kill the motherfrigger who did that." I narrow my eyes at her words, confusion clear on my face.
"How'd you know about that?" I ask, curiosity peeking it's way up.
She rolls her eyes and gives me a 'duh' look. "My stupid ass brother has a big mouth. He literally came crying to me after it happened saying he had another panic attack when you were being taken to the hospital. He's such a little-"
"Wait, what? Rocco had a panic attack?" What the heck? Why didn't he tell me this, and goddammit, Rocco out of all people had a goddarn panic attack.
My brain struggles to wrap around this as Gianna looks at me, a shocked expression on her face.
"That bitch never even told you? And here I thought your guys' relationship was progressing." She shakes her head in disappointment, her eyebrows creasing.
"Yeah well, I don't think it's going anywhere either. He lied to me Gianna, about something so big and I don't think I can move past it." I look down at the floor, pushing back the tears that threaten to spill, and I feel Gianna's arms wrap around me, comforting me.
I forgot how much just a hug could make you feel better.
"I'm so sorry, Mia. You don't deserve that. Don't worry, I'll kick his fucking wimp ass." I laugh into her shoulder, my chest lightening as she softly pulls me along to my room.
"Well, tonight is your lucky night, because you're going to get drunk and I'm going to be there for you." I groan at the memory of the last time I got drunk, mentally facepalming my stupidity.
"God no. I'm bad when drunk." I put on my best puppy dog eyes but she doesn't even look at me as she pushes me into my room, turning straight for my suitcase and throwing items out one by one.
"Oh, come on. It's not even night time yet." I plead, falling back on my bed with a huff.
It's five, and she wants to go to a club.
"Oh trust me, this club is open twenty four hours a day. There's a whole crowd there already, and I know because once I stayed the whole day and it just felt like one big night." She grimaces at the thought as she turns around, an outfit clutched in her hands and a big cheesy smirk on her face.
It's one of my favourite dresses, but I haven't had the chance to wear it yet, a baby pink material with a deep neckline and princess sleeves.
It's adorable, and I've been dying to try it out in real life since I brought it, but have never had the right moment.
Now it seems perfect.
"Put this on and pair it with your sexy heels that match. I'll call Leonardo to pick us up. Hurry." She throws the dress at me, and I catch it just before it falls to the floor, the soft material feeling like heaven in my hands.
She doesn't give me a chance to reply before she's out the door and I hear her voice speaking, no doubt, on the phone.
I guess there's no harm in having fun, right?
I quickly strip out of my clothes and pull on the dress, straightening the material over my body, admiring the way it fits so comfortably against my skin.
I then prop up on my matching heels and tie a light pink ribbon in a half pony in my hair, pulling out a few strands to frame my face.
Last but not least, well aware of Gianna shouting at me to hurry, I apply some mascara and eyeliner, adding cherry lip gloss to my lips as a final touch.
"Thank God. Oh damn, you look like a hot momma." Gianna says as I walk out, looping her arm through mine as we walk towards the elevator.
I smile at her grin, finally feeling happy and at ease after days of stress and worry.
I hope this night is worth it.
.........................................
The club is packed.
Exactly how Gianna described it. Crowds of people stand outside, waiting to get in, and through the glass doors I see people dancing, purple and red strobe lights flashing, a steady beat pounding through the building.
Lenny dropped us off, a worried look on his face as we departed for the building. He's so sweet.
"How are we getting in? It's so full already." I ask, clinging tightly onto Gianna's arm as we weave our way through the crowd in front of us towards the doors where two bodyguards are stationed with earpieces in.
"Don't worry about it." She replies, just as we step up to a buff man with wavy brown hair, tight lips, and black eyes. He stands at a whopping height, all muscly and intimidating, but Gianna smiles at him like she knows him.
"Joseph darling. How nice to see you." She batts her eyelashes up at him, but he seems unfazed, blinking down at her with a straight face.
"Gianna." His voice is monotone and deep, unsettling me slightly as he rakes his eyes over Gianna's form, clearly checking her out.
She moves forward and whispers something in his ear, patting his bicep before she moves away again.
He turns to the side and talks into his earpiece, his gruff voice muffled by the crowd around us, chattering away.
When he turns back to us, he nods at Gianna and she pulls me along through the doors.
"How did you do that?" I point over my shoulder at the entrance, eyes wide as I stare at her.
"I'm well known around here, pretty girl. Stop asking questions now. We're here to party."
For what? I don't know, but I go along with it anyways.
The room is stuffed with bodies dancing along to the blare of the music, much louder in my ears now that I'm inside.
Theres a staircase to the right, leading up to what I assume is a private room because of the two bodyguards planted on either side.
The room doesn't seem that private, because there's glass walls surrounding it which lets me see straight through. There doesn't seem to be many people in there though, and it's too far away for me to look closely at the few people who are in there.
There's a bar to the left and the dance floor is massive, every little space filled with people.
Gianna pulls me along, around the throng of sweaty bodies, and straight to the bar.
There's a line of occupied chairs, but we manage to find two together and sit down before anybody can steal them away.
"This place is.." I let the sentence hang in the air, having no words to describe the atmosphere.
"Intense, hot, fun?" I laugh at the last one and scan my eyes around the place, watching as people sway their bodies to the music, some making out and others having a real go at it in public.
Gross.
"I'll have four vodka shots please." Gianna's voice brings me back to the present and I turn to see her talking to a handsome bartender.
He looks at her, and a flash of recognition passes along his face before he leans in.
"It's on the house." He nods and then pours four shot glasses, pushing then towards us before tending to other customers.
"You're getting the real special treatment here tonight. Do you know the owner or something?" I ask.
"You could say that." She shrugs, then smiles and hands me a glass, grabbing her own.
"Come on, you need energy if you want to survive the night." She nudges her hip with mine and I give in, clinking my glass with hers and throwing back the glass, immediately doing the same with the other.
I scowl as the burning liquid scorches my throat.
"Well, who is this beautiful young lady." A voice at my ear startles me, and I bump into a hard body, hands coming to rest around my waist to steady me.
I instantly freeze up, not recognising the scent or voice, and I turn out of the mans grip to look at him.
He has platinum blonde hair and dazzling green eyes, an easy smirk on his face. He's dressed in a casual white button down and light blue jeans. He's definitely easy on the eyes, but there's a glimmer of something else in there that makes my stomach twist. And not in a good way.
He's basically the blonde version of James Dean, and I almost laugh out loud.
I can feel the alcohol buzzing in my veins as Gianna pulls me to her side, a sign I should take seriously.
"No one you need to concern yourself with, Tommy." Her voice sounds in my ear, and Tommy's grin only widens, his teeth in perfect rows.
He puts his hand on his heart in mock hurt, stepping closer to us and lowering his voice so he can be heard over the blaring music.
"That's not a problem, darling. A drink?" His eyes linger on my body, a dark gleam passing over them which makes me feel uncomfortable.
Gianna notices because she starts to pull me towards the dance floor, away from Tommy.
"No thanks." She waves her hand up in goodbye, continuing to pull me along through the swarm of sweaty bodies and straight smack bang in the middle of the dance floor.
Tommy's eyes are still visible at the bar, but then he turns away and starts to talk to another unfortunate girl.
"He's creepy." I say.
"I know, but don't worry, he won't do anything. Let's just dance." She grabs a hold of my hands, the wary look disappearing from her face as she begins to sway to the song.
I copy her bodies' movements to the music, feeling myself let go as I move, not caring about who's seeing me right now.
She lets go of me as she starts to freestyle, and I throw my head back at the sight, laughing and joining in with her crazy dance moves.
I feel buzzed and really energetic right now, and I pull her back towards the bar for another drink.
"You're strongest please." I say, gesturing between Gianna and me to the bartender.
He raises his eyebrows up in amusement, turning to pour a dark brown liquid into two heavy glasses.
"Here ya go, ladies."
"Thanks." I push the glass towards Gianna and we both gulp down the contents before rushing back into the throng of people again.
We dance away for what seems like forever, but it's only about fifteen minutes before Gianna yells at me that she needs to take a piss.
I decide to just wait for her out here and take a break from dancing otherwise my feet will kill tomorrow.
I watch her retreat into a hallway and turn left into another, likely the toilets, and I take it as my chance to look around.
There are some sofa's dotted around the skirts of the dance floor, but they're all occupied with people having a bit too much fun.
I swear I see one man squat dancing near a couple getting it on against the wall, and I chuckle to myself as he get's lost in his own groove.
My eyes involuntarily flicker to the private area, still guarded with tall looking men, and catch sight of a familiar mop of black hair, chiselled jaw and harsh eyes.
My heart nearly stops beating as Rocco pierces me with his gaze, eyes roaming down my dress as he sits close to the glass wall in a high backed armchair, his legs spread out in front of him and one elbow resting on the arm.
I see a figure move behind him and then a dainty body clad in a hot red dress stands behind his chair, her hands landing on his shoulders and her head coming down to whisper something in his ear.
A flare of jealousy hits me deep in the gut, and I narrow my eyes as Rocco says something to her before she rolls her eyes and stalks off, her hips swaying deliberately in front of him.
She flips her blonde hair as she walks out of view, and I turn my eyes away from him, pushing myself through the throng of people.
Who does he think he is? God, he's so frustrating.
The flash of jealousy creeps back up again, and the urge to punch that girl makes me clench my fist tight.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's cheated on me already with some chick like her, all beauty on long legs and wide hips.
I force the imagine of him out of my mind, but it's persistent, and now I think my night is ruined.
I spot Gianna over the heads of dancers, laughing with some guy with straight black hair. Wait, I think it's Ren. What is he doing here?
I decide to just leave it because I trust him, and instead start to move to a new song that's playing, dancing with myself as I close my eyes, letting the beats control my movements.
It's nice, this feeling of doing what you want and not having anyone stop you, and I resolve I want to feel this way more.
Suddenly, a pair of large, warm hands land on my hips, pulling me flush against a muscled body.
Despite my reservations, I recognise the smell of musk and mint, the ridges of his lean body against my back, his familiar hands on my body.
I almost give in, but I don't because I remind myself he's a liar who doesn't give a shit about my feelings.
I begin to pull away from him but his grip is firm, his mouth coming down to my ear, his hot breath against my skin eliciting goosebumps all across my body.
"Are you going to stop ignoring me now?" His deep, rough voice sends shivers through my whole body, and I attempt to pull away but he only holds me tighter, his chest pressing up against my back.
I can feel the prod of something hard against my lower back and I try to turn around but he doesn't let me, and I just end up rubbing myself up on him instead.
His fingers dig into my hips, and I force myself to ignore the press of him, but it's so terribly hard because he feels so good against me.
His breath is still heavy on my neck and it tickles the sensitive skin, my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.
Despite my feelings towards him at the moment, my body seems to be going against my brain, butterflies swarming in my lower stomach and a pulsing heat gnawing between my legs as his hard on rubs against the top of my ass.
"Are you going to speak or will I have to force the words out of your mouth, cherry."
His whisper is still somehow loud in my ear even over the thumping of the musical beats surrounding us and the bodies crowding us in.
"I don't want to speak to you." I should really laugh at the way that came out, because it's gives away how I'm really feeling.
I want him so badly.
When I think he's about to say something else, he grabs my hand and pulls me back through the dancers, their bodies nudging mine as we weave our way through.
He guides me through the same hallway I saw Gianna go through, but instead of turning left, he takes a right and shoves open a door, banging it closed behind us and locking it.
"What are you-"
I'm cut off by his lips, wet and firm and hot against mine, a whole zoo exploding inside me at the feeling. I've missed it, and although I really shouldn't give in, I finally do, letting him control my mouth as he runs his tongue across the seam of my lips. His hands are on my face, fingers in my hair, and I open my mouth for him and drag my hands up and around his neck, pulling him closer to me by his nape, pressing our bodies together so no amount of space is between us.
He nibbles on my lips, and when he moves away for a breath, everything comes crashing back down in my mind and I push him away from me, stepping back and turning away, my breathing heavy and sharp as I try to control my thoughts from running.
"Don't do that when you know I'm angry at you right now." I say, my voice breathless and shaky as I speak.
I feel him come closer to me, but I move away and around the other side of a sofa that sits in the middle of the room.
When I turn to face him, his eyes are dark and intense, his lips parted and his chest heaving.
His hands are clenched into fists and he's looking at me like he shouldn't.
"Mia, I already said that I never intended for it to get that far. I was fucking scared, and yes I'm admitting it. I was scared to lose you because of a shitty accident." His voice is thrumming with need and desperation, and his explanation shocks me.
I never would have thought he felt like that, but then again, he never show's what he's feeling so I shouldn't expect anything different.
I look away from him and think about what he's said, my body reeling from the kiss, left wanting more, but my mind in a frantic state from not having any idea what to think.
"I'm so sorry, cherry, please forgive me. I swear that if I could, I would go back and change everything that went wrong. You don't know how much I hate when you don't speak to me, and I knew you wouldn't listen to me if I spoke to you this morning because everything was still fresh, so please try to understand now."
I look back up at his face, his body closer to me now as he moves around the sofa to cup my face.
I stay silent for a while, calming my breathing and easing the racing thoughts.
I know I believe him, but it still hurts.
I know he didn't mean it, but it still hurts.
"You hurt me. Badly." I say finally, looking deep into his eyes. A flicker of emotion passes through the deep hazel, and he just pulls me closer to him.
"I'm sorry." He sounds so defeated, and I realise that all along maybe he's just been as innocent in all this as me.
Yes, he knew about my memory loss and didn't tell me, but he was also a part of that accident, and I guess he really was scared of what would happen.
I think it will take a while for me to think everything through, but all I want right now is him.
"What about that girl in the red dress?" My voice is tentative, and the familiar jealousy wraps around my words as I speak. Something dark flashes in his eyes. "You don't need to worry about her. We haven't done anything, and we never will. She's just another needy woman who spends her life at clubs like this." I notice how he doesn't use any vulgar words to describe her, and I appreciate his respect, even towards another woman he doesn't know.
I guess I believe him, so I just nod my head and step forward towards him, placing my lips gently on his, my hands gripping the back of his neck as I angle my head deeper.
He instantly reciprocates, his own hands gently caressing my body, pulling me flush against him by my waist, moving over my back to my ass.
It's slow and sensual and every single part of it ignites a fire inside my body and on the surface of my skin.
I don't think I'll ever get enough of this, even if I wanted to.
We break away, and he kisses the side of my head before grasping my hand, his fingers weaving through mine, palms agains palms, before pulling me out the door again and through the club.
"Where's Gianna?" I ask, my eyes searching the room for her familiar face.
"She went home with Ren, that fucker." He grits his teeth, but I know he has no real prejudice against it because Ren is his closest friend and I know he trusts him more than anyone.
"Maybe you should just let them be together, you know. He's like the perfect person for her." I say, walking closer to him as he opens the door for us and nods to the same bodyguard as before.
Their personalities are literally the exact same, and I have a feeling that they'll be endgame no matter what.
"Yeah, whatever, he better not fuck up." I shake my head in amusement at his words, letting the cool chill of the air wash over me.
He guides us to his motorbike that's parked right near the end of the road, and I stop him with a hand on his arm.
"My feet are hurting, I need to take these cherry blasted heels off." I bend down to unstrap them, but he stops me, and does it himself, lowering himself to his haunches as he unties my straps and pulls them off.
Then he picks me up with my heels in his hand still, and carries me the rest of the way.
"I can walk you know." I laugh as I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Not barefoot on a dirty pavement, you can't. Plus, I'm not letting you in my bed with dirty feet." He says, looking down at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
I feign innocence and blink up at him.
"Who says I'm sleeping in your bed, hm?" I reply, just before he whispers in my ear, his words sending a shiver of delight over me.
"Oh, we won't be doing any sleeping tonight, cherry."
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