"Now, remember, we can’t be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off 'em. You got the list, Loonie?" Blitz asked Loona who just nodded. She pulled out a long list with descriptions and names of each target. "Got it." She said. Loona stood up and started casting a spell, blue lights started swirling around her feet, rising and covering her until in a bright flash, she transformed into a human. She had a half cut gothic hairstyle, pale skin with black eyeliner highlighting her eyes.
"Ohhhhh, Loonie, look at you. You look downright awful! I am so proud. Now, fetch!" Blitz said as he pointed to the crowd of people. Loons only scowled in response as she trudged out to the crowd of people. Mox and Millie got prepared for their first target as Blitz turned around towards me. "Ok, here's a list of people that our clients want dead today. Don't fuck this up, or I'll have your dick!" He threatened me when handing me a list. It wasn't as long as the other one, but still had many names to it. There was a pattern to each victim, as they were all male. "You got it boss, consider them dead." I told him with a smile. "Now that's what I'm fucking talking about. Wish Moxxie was more like you." He said with a sadistic smile before leaving the bridge in which we we're under.
Stuffing the list in my short's pockets, I headed out to. The first man on my list was a guy named Kyle. Apparently he was slim, muscular, and liked to swim a lot. Black hair, clean shave, and wore a signature monster hat. Easy enough, I walked through the crowds of people before I saw a dude matching the description chugging down a bottle of beer. Walking up to him, I introduced myself. "Fuck man, that's fucking awesome." I complimented him. "Oh, you should see how many shots of vodka I can do." He replied back, trying to brag about his bad habits.
"Really? Guess what, I know how to get a couple cases of whiskey, and not the cheap shit either." I told him which piqued his interest. "Rad, where is it?" He asked me with curiosity. "You see that bar? I work there, boss is a total fucking bitch. So I'm going to take his most prized alcohol, teach that fucker. You feel me?" I said, trying to convince him to join me. "Yeah I feel you." He replied back. "But I need someone's help carrying the cases, we'll be going through the side door in the alleyway. You in?" I asked with hope. "Fuck yeah dude, I'm in." He replied as he fist bumped me.
As I was leading him to the side of the bar, away from everyone's eyes, I asked him, "Hey dude, I never got your name, what is it?" I asked him just to confirm his identity. "Name's Kyle, your's?" He asked, trekking behind me as we entered the alleyway "Bond, James Bond." I said in a British accent before summoning the deliverer, a silenced ten millimeter gun that reminded of the gun James Bond had in the movies. Turning around in a quick motion before putting a bullet between his eyes, making his body drop before he could even have a chance to run.
"I've always wanted to do that." I said to myself before picking up the body and putting it in a dumpster like every professional hitman gamer. Putting away my gun and walking out of the alley, I saw a beautiful sight before me, except for all of the spring breakers. The vast blue ocean, clean from radiation and teaming with life. People partying without care and having fun, it brought me back to the time of my honeymoon with Nora. Those were the good old days, I hope she's doing ok now along with my son Shaun. This was no time to be nostalgic, I had work to do.
Continuing using the whole whiskey in the bar excuse, I convinced each of my targets to follow me. One by one, I crossed each target's name out and I made sure that each kill was correct before finally I got the last name on the list. Walking over to the other alleyway that the rest were using, I saw the gang tying up some bloody trash bags. “That’s nine kills in the bag! Good job gang.” Blitz said while putting the final bloody trash bag into the dumpster. “Hey boss, see we had similar ideas. All targets are dead.” I told him while handing back the list now full of crossed out names. “Ha, I knew you were fucking good. I’d like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many-” Blitz was interrupted by a loud noise coming down from the beach. A loud feminine voice boomed out saying, “Alright, spring breakers! Y'all ready to get fucked up and make some BITCHIN' BAD CHOICES?!” The large crowd of frat boys and girls with daddy issues erupted in excitement.
“This is your final boarding call. All aboard~” Verosika said seductively while pink swirls of clouds floated from her stage. The stage lit up with screens that said ‘Fuck you Blitzo’ and a song title that said ‘Vacay to Bonetown’. Blitz was pissed off as you could visibly see him foaming at the mouth. “Pack your bags. Sun's out. Take a vacay, babe. Take it straight to bone town.” Verosika sang out to the crowd which became even more wild by the second. Seeing her with the skirt blowing in the wind, the sun shining down and highlighting her beautiful skin. Even from here, I could smell her alluring aroma. On the edge of the crowd, there was Verosika’s team of succubus started mingling with the humans, the heightened urges started emerging amongst the humans.
“V-time, free time, baby relax. Self-care, no hair, Brazilian wax. Hornt up succu-bus to the beach. Catch some rays while catching some D.” Verosika sang while her hair swirled in the hair, entrancing me in her beauty. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an angry imp. “God DAMMIT! That bitch started her goadish mating call! Now she’s gonna win all these sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up, guys!” Blitz yelled angrily while stomping towards the crowd of sex addicts with everyone else following him from behind.
I figured that with all of the aphrodisiac drugs in the air, no one would be able to distinguish Blitz and M&M out here. As we walked across the sand, a blonde man started vomiting near us. “He on the list, Loonie?” Blitz asked while pointing to the vomiting man. “Huh? Yeah, I-I think so.” Loona said with a little bit of uncertainty. She was busy looking at something or someone, following her gaze it happened to be Vortex who was guarding the stage. “Good!” Blitz yelled out with a huge smile on his face as he took out a red and black axe. “Oh, whoa! What are you? A leprechaun?” The blonde man commented and half laughed at. “Yeah... Pretty cool, huh?” Blitz replied as he was about to kill the man.
Before he could make a mess though, I pulled out my ten millimeter gun and shot the man in the head, instantly killing him and keeping the mess to be small. “Oh god damnit, that was my kill bastard!” Blitz yelled at me. “Come on, that was both our kills. You distracted him, I killed him. Make a pretty great damn team if I do say so myself.” I persuaded Blitz so that way he wouldn’t be mad at me. “Huh, yeah, I guess you're right, we make a pretty good team. This is why I hired you!” He boasted with his chest out. “And you sure as shit ain’t gonna tell nobody! Alright, next one, Loonie, c'mon! Loonie? Wait, where-?” He started glancing around to try and find Loona, though he struggled with it.
Panicking that he couldn’t her, distraught tears formed in his eyes. “Wha-, Wha-, Wh-,WHERE'S MY BABYYYYYY?!?!” He yelled out in distress. Millie came up in between me and Blitz and pointed out Loona. “Look!” She said as both me and Blitz’s attention towards the direction Millie pointed to. Loona was walking towards Vortex with a nervous look. Blitz instantly changed his attitude like a schizophrenic off his meds. Blitz started walking angrily after Loona leaving me and M&M to ourselves.
"This happen often?" I asked the two imps. "Loona being attracted to someone, it's the first I ever heard of it. But our boss being crazy and leaving the mission to us, sorry sir, that happens a lot." Moxxie explains to me before bowing as a way to say sorry for his boss's behavior. Man, I'd love to have Mox as my employee. In the distance, I could hear Blitz yell out, "Conversation leads to HPV!" Moxxie sighed when he heard this as all three of us took cover behind a table. "And, we've lost him. It’s looking like it’s up to us to handle this list." Moxxie said with a sigh of dissatisfaction.
"Hell yeah! Team M and M, gettin' shit done, makin' the moneys! Plus we got (Y/N), our new expert hitman! We've fucking got this!" Millie said with such enthusiasm that it cheered Moxxie right back up. "Alrighty, here's the deal, I'll lure more people by the alleyways. You guys hide there, on the roofs or whatever, as long as you have sights on me and the target. When I bring the target, kill them, bag them up, and toss them aside. By the time you're done with the body, I'll have someone else. Got it?" I asked the two imps. Both responded back with a "Yes" before we all separated and got into position.
I started luring more people into the alley ways where Moxxie shot and killed them with a sniper before Millie would bag and dump the body. It was going very smoothly, other than the time Mox accidentally shoot through the target and hit my foot, it was fine, everything was absolutely fucking fine. The problem was, we weren't killing fast enough. Killing people one by one wasn't enough to keep up with the succubus in the still big crowd of spring breakers. It was time to switch up the game plan. I saw Blitz standing out in the middle of the crowd without a care in the world. It was time to toss all logic out the window.
"Alright, new plan, just start killing people on the outskirts, move your killing to the middle till there is nothing alive." I ordered the two who nodded at me. We ran back down the beach and I started my spree with an aluminum baseball bat with several heated spikes that I made a while back, ol' Lucky. One by one, I bashed in the people's heads. No one cares, the aphrodisiac in the air seemed to stop all reasoning in the people around. I realized demons could have strong effects on people, but didn't realize it would be this strong. It was really fucking stupid actually, as a fucking woman who I literally killed her boyfriend who was fucking her midway, getting blood all over her, just pushed the body aside and asked me to plow her. Blitz was right, there's a bunch of fucking freaks up here.
My killing spree though was interrupted as I heard a woman cry out. "Eggggh! Oh my god, it’s a fucking possum!" She yelled out as I could see it was Moxxie she was talking about. Really? Moxxie, not Millie, me, or Blitz, but fucking Moxxie? My thoughts was interrupted by Moxxie saying, "Oh, crumbs!" He tried getting away, but some frat boy with a mullet grabbed him by the tail and lifted him up. "I got it!" Kyle.2 said with a huge grin like he just won the fucking lottery. He took Moxxie and shoved him into a keg of beer with the group cheering him on. A small group cheered him on chanting "beer possum" as they carried him away.
Me and Millie rushed to the back of the group, I could see she was extremely worried about Mox being in the barrel. "I got this." I comforted Millie as I put a hand on her shoulder. Getting close to the back of the group, I analyzed them all as all their heads were roughly at the same height. With that information, I got into my batter stance and took a deep breath in. In one quick motion, I swung a wide arc sweeping all their heads clean off their shoulders. Their bodies dropped to the ground as the sand was soaked in blood. Millie rushed past me towards the piles of kegs, trying to find Moxxie. She pushed one over and out came Mox as well with a river of beer.
He let out a huge burp as a smile settled into his face. "Moxxie!" Mille yelled out in joy and quickly went to his side. "Millieeeeeeeee! Hiiii! Hey. Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss ‘em." Mox said as he started making smooching sounds. Millie smiled at her dumb husband and picked him up from the blood and beer soaked ground. Suddenly out of nowhere, a giant fucking fish abomination emerged from the fucking ocean. It instantly crushed a person that was relaxing on the beach before everyone started screaming and running away. "Please tell me this happens a lot as well." I basically begged Millie to tell me yes. I didn't want to deal with clean up nor didn't want to go home and tell Stolas about this huge fucking mess.
"Ooooh! Fish." Mox comments before the fish shot its tongue out and wrapped it around him, then pulled him to its mouth.Millie acted quickly, killing a spring breaker and taking his cocktail, crafting it into a Molotov which she tossed hitting the enormous fish, lighting it ablaze. The sheer pain and confusion caused the fish to fall down onto its back. Millie rushed into the ocean, swimming at lightning speed and reached the fish. I saw her going at it with her knife, I decided to let her deal with it, though if she couldn't handle it, I'd step in. She went up to the maw of the beast and pried it wide open. Grabbing and tossing her husband out of the monster, Moxxie went flying in the air and landed onto Blitz’s arms. Blitz was just annoyed by this as he couldn’t give a fuck and shot a man next to him with his flintlock.
“I love that woman~” Moxxie said with a drunken smile as his head tilted back. “Oh, she totally pegs you, doesn’t she?” Blitz commented which I think we all knew. The monster ended up spitting Millie back into the shallow waters near the shore. “That fucking bitch!” Millie yelled getting up out of the water, rage filling her eyes. “I got this Millie.” I said while summoning an anti material rifle loaded with HE fitfty cal bullets. Firing off a load shot, I created a giant hole in the monster’s forehead as it fell over dead. “Ohhhh, yeah, way to show off, (Y/N).” Blitz said as he dropped Moxxie onto the ground. “Is Mox okay?” Millie said as she scooped up Moxxie from the ground. “Oh, yeah. He's fine.” Blitz said brushing off the whole mess from today.
“Thiiiis is funny. I'm sooooo… drinky.” Mox said with a wobbly head but a huge grin on his face. “Ooookay, this is too wholesome for my liking.” Blitz said once again trying to brush off Mox. “Blitzo.” Verosika said with venom as she and her gang of succubus walked up to us. “Oh perfect. That must be the whores!” Blitz complained as he faced her. “That was handled rather, obvious, don't you think?” She said trying to intimidate Blitz. “I don't think this belonged to any of us.” Millie butted in as she tossed a small flask that looked to be Verosika’s from before. Verosika caught the flask, then handed it to one of her succubus. “Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.” Millie continued. “Oh, Satan! You all be sooo, FUUUUCKED!” Moxxie said as he laughed his ass off.
“Yeah, well, you three nasty-ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises!” Verosika spat back at us. “A human called me a possum. I am not a-” he face planted into the sand. “Possum!” Moxxie exclaimed before face planting into the sand once more. “Y'know, we could keep this little B-movie scene on the down low if you agree to let us use that parking space.” Blitz said in a sly voice trying to convince Verosika. “Fine.” She reluctantly agreed. “WE FUCKIN' WOOOOOOON!!! IN YOUR FACE, BIIIITCH!” Blitz celebrated with so much enthusiasm that it was pretty obnoxious. “Fuck YEAH!” Millie happily agreed as she joined in on the celebration. “Come on, let's get out of here. Tex!” Verosika scoffed as she and her gang started leaving the beach.
“Come on, Loonie Tooney! Let's go back and park our fat fuckin' car in our fat fuckin' space!” Blitz said as he and the others opened a portal back to hell. “Hey boss, since the job is complete, I’m going to stay up here for a while.” I told the imp. “Alright then, great job though. If you keep at it like today, I might start paying. Not really though.” Blitz said, though he said the last part more quietly. Everyone went through the portal happy except for Loona who looked like she just got hit with a truck.
“PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU SICK DEVIANTS!!” I heard a loud voice yell behind me. I looked to see the whole police force had shown up. Thinking quickly, I ruffled my hair a little and ran towards Verosika and hugged her. “Oh my thank fucking god! You're alive, and the police are here!” I said with exaggerated urgency. I went up to the nearest police officer who was confused and had his gun down a little. “What are you waiting for? There’s a bunch of black gang members shooting up the beach. You gotta help them!” I said trying to lie to the police, make them think the threat is actually still running loose on the beach. “Don’t worry y’all, we’re the police, here to save the day. Come on, we got some criminals to shoot!” The police officer who now seemed to be the chief said as he and all the police rushed down the beach leaving me and Verosika’s gang by ourselves. “Thanks (Y/N).” Verosika said with a sigh as the other succubus went into the alleyway. They opened their own portal back to hell and Verosika was about to follow them before I grabbed her arm.
“Hey, I was wondering that since today didn’t go your way, I could take you out, maybe hit up a bar. My treat.” I told her. She stood there thinking for a moment, before waving to her people to go on without her. "Fine, I could really use a drink to forget about that flaccid gremlin." Verosika said to me. I picked her up princess style and started walking off. "What a gentleman, taking care of your girlfriend after a shitty day, I could kiss you~" she said seductively in my ear. "You know your voice is really beautiful, it compliments your body. One day I'll book us a vacation to a private beach up here, and have some time to relax together." I told her with a smile.
"Imagine all the sex we could have, just thinking about it is making me excited." Verosika said while wiggling in my arms. "Yes, and plus some other things. Like dirt biking, swimming in the clear ocean, fishing, hell, even go scuba diving. I'd like to enjoy all of that with you." I replied to her. Verosika became silent as I could, she was blushing a very small hint of red from my comment. We got to a bar that was far enough away from the chaotic beach and I let Verosika down onto her feet again. We got up at the bar and the bartender came over. “Get me the bottle of whiskey, and I’ll cover anything my girl wants.” I told the bartender in which she nodded. “I’ll share the whiskey with my boyfriend.” Verosika told the bartender in which she nodded back and got the bottle of whiskey for me and Verosika along with a couple of shot glasses. I gave a wad of cash that was from the spring breakers I killed, it was more than enough to pay for the bottle of whiskey.
“You know I told you I’d get you anything, no need to hold back.” I told Verosika as I poured us some whiskey. “I prefer to start off slow.” She responded back while gulping down a shot of whiskey. “Whatever you prefer, I’m here to please.” I said while following her example and drinking a shot of whiskey as well. We started drinking and talking, having a good time. “Shit, this is what I fucking needed after having to deal with that shitbag today.” Verosika said after finishing another glass of whiskey, sighing in relief. I pulled her to my side and kissed her head. “Forget about what happened today, let’s enjoy ourselves.” I told her as I hugged her closer to my chest. “Honestly (Y/N), how the fuck did you end up in hell. Your like a fucking angel.” Verosika said while looking up at me.
I took that moment to give her a kiss on the lips, our mouths connected as we enjoyed each other's embrace. “I’ll be whatever you want to be.” I told her after finally separating our kiss. “I want you to be my boyfriend forever.” She said while leaning into my chest. She seemed tired from today, exhausted even. “Wanna get out of here? I’ll get us a hotel if you like.” I offered to her while wrapping my arms around her waist. “That sounds good, god I’m fucking tired from today’s bullshit.” Verosika said. We both got up and exited the bar, Verosika latched onto my arm as we walked down the street to a hotel I saw earlier. Getting to the lobby, I got us a room at the top. The place sounded expensive, but I’m pretty sure the rest of the cash I had from the killing spree was way more than enough to pay for the room.
Entering our room, it was very nice looking. A clean bed that was tidy, a large smart screen tv hung up on a wall opposite of the bed, a balcony showing a beautiful view over the city, and most importantly a great looking woman to share the room with. Verosika had let go of my arm and fell face first into the mattress. I walked past her and went out onto the balcony to enjoy the scene, taking in the fresh air that I’ve forgotten the smell of. I’ve gotten so used to the irradiated air mixed in with blood and shit, it was nice to smell something clean now. “(Y/N)~, this bed is so cold. Won’t you come warm me up?” Verosika asked as she sprawled her body all over the bed. A smile appeared on my face as I walked over to the end of the bed and took off my shirt.
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Hello guys and girls and gamers, how ya doing. Hopefully good, sorry this chapter took so long, though hopefully you liked it. Next chapter is lemon, get that one done. I'd love to hear feedback and comments on this, whether it be critiques or something funny. If you liked this, please vote for this chapter and maybe follow me and I'll follow you back home. Until next time, coffee out.
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