AN: decided to upload early in appreciation for my first comment! this one's for you @Iam_Svb
True to her words, Ariana called you to schedule a hangout. You had been exchanging texts with her for two weeks now, telling each other about the random things occurring in your daily lives. The first text came when you uploaded the interview and she commented on how entertaining it was.
Coincidentally, both of you have nothing much to do today. So you invited her to your place again. You weren't sure what Ariana liked to do in her free time, but you were up for anything. So you left it up to her to choose.
She came over at six-thirty on the dot. You went out to help her with the paper bags she balanced in her arms.
You peered into one of them to find a pile of packaged food items. "For someone so small, I didn't know you had such a big appetite."
"Hey! You're not that tall yourself. Wait till I wear my heels." You put your hands up in mock surrender at her retort. "Besides, I still don't know what you like so I got everything."
"Thank you." You said, appreciating her thoughtfulness. "I'll treat you next time."
"Okay, I'll expect something fancy and expensive. Or a ten-course meal."
"Yes, your highness." She laughed when you bowed theatrically at her.
The both of you got into a rhythm of preparing and cooking, with you being her sous chef. While you were not exactly a bad cook, listening to Ariana taught you a few new skills.
The weather was good that evening, so you two decided to dine alfresco. You carried a small table and chairs to your backyard while Ariana did the finishing touches on the pasta. She brought out the food and water when she was done.
"This is great." You don't really cook anything fancy for yourself, usually getting microwavable ready-to-eat meals or takeaway. So it's nice to have something home-cooked for a change. "But I can't see anything."
Ariana laughed in agreement. You didn't take the lack of light into account, thinking the lamp posts surrounding would be sufficient. Spoiler alert, they weren't. You should your backyard, perhaps by adding some fairy lights.
"Wait here, I'll go get something that might help."
You remembered the candles you bought on impulse. You found them, thankfully, sitting idly in the corner of a sock drawer. What they were doing there, you weren't sure but it seems like they were a good buy after all.
After you got what you needed, you rush back out, not wanting to keep Ariana waiting. You placed them in the center of the table, lighting them up carefully.
Ariana gasped in delight, but it soon turns into laughter when she sees you put a bucket of water beside you. "You're quite prepared, aren't you?"
"Better safe than sorry, you'll be surprised with how many accidents could be easily prevented." You remarked, before taking a bite of your food. You closed your eyes and savored the flavors. "Wow. This is really good."
You saw a blush painted Ariana's cheeks in the shadows and the candlelights. "I'm glad that you liked it."
You enjoyed the rest of your pasta in comfortable silence, savoring every bite.
You waited for Ariana to finish hers, before putting out the candles and gathering both of your plates. You brought them back to the kitchen and washed them. When you wiped them dry and placed them on the rack, you turned towards your living room. You saw Ariana on your couch, fiddling with her phone. You figured she was calling for a ride home.
"Got to go?" You called out from the kitchen, despite knowing the answer already.
Ariana glanced up at you, and you swore you saw the same kind of sadness in her eyes, before looking back down to her phone, typing quickly. "Want to watch a movie?"
"Sure, what are you in the mood for?"
"It's your house, you choose."
Being a cinephile, you prided yourself on having a good taste in films. It was the perfect opportunity to rewatch one of them. While you had a wide collection of films on your mind, you didn't want to select something that Ariana might not enjoy. You assumed something with typical rom-com vibes will be her cup of tea. So you turned on your TV and put on Saving Face.
"Hey, I know this film. You mentioned it in your top 10 favorite films of all time."
You smile inwardly. "I did, you cool with watching it?"
"Totally, the plot sounds interesting, and I wanna know why you like it so much."
"Okay, do you want any snacks?" You looked through your pantry, you don't have a lot of vegan options besides granola bars.
"I'm good with anything."
You rummaged through your refrigerator to see if there was anything else, but you could only find ice cream so that's not an option. You made a mental note to buy more vegan snacks.
Not wanting to be too empty-handed, you got the spare blanket from your bedroom. You handed them over to Ariana as you sat beside her. She spread it over both of your laps as you pressed play.
By the roll of the credits, Ariana had taken up most of the blanket, with her head on your shoulder. To be honest, you spend most of the past hour stealing glances at her to see her reaction to every scene. She caught you on the last one, knowing you wanted her verdict.
"It's cute, I'm glad they gave each other a chance," Ariana said with a yawn.
Usually, you would like to discuss the film further, but you don't think Ariana would be conscious enough to engage with you. So you offer an affirmation on her comment and a question if anyone's going to bring her back home. It's almost close to midnight but you assumed that Ariana would have someone to get her home safely.
But her "can I stay over for the night" told you otherwise.
"Yes, of course. But are you okay sleeping in my room? I used to have a guest bedroom but it turned into an office."
"I don't mind."
"Okay, let me show you the way." You waited for Ariana to lift her head and stand up. She followed you as you walked towards your bedroom.
You gave her a run-down of your bedroom and the ensuite bathroom, showing her where the towels and toiletries are.
"Call me if you need anything else." You concluded, leaving Ariana to her own devices.
You tidied up your place to pass the time, waiting for your turn to shower. When you pretty much spring-cleaned your entire living room, you sat on your couch and started overthinking in the dark.
Ariana Grande, the pop princess, is having a sleepover with you. Don't get yourself wrong, you know she's human like the rest of you. While you know better than to dehumanize celebrities as gods or other celestial beings, it's hard to transition your relationship from parasocial to platonic.
It's also hard for someone like you, a woman-loving woman, to form female friendships. The line is blurry when it comes to platonic affection and romantic attraction. The last thing you want to do is accidentally come off too strongly or too cold and ruin your friendship.
However, you couldn't help but wonder about the melancholy etched on her face. It worries you more than it should.
A low noise caused you to turn around and inhaled inaudibly at the sight that greets you.
It was close to pitch black, but that only highlighted how she glowed in the soft lights streaming from your room. She was fresh out of the shower, with no makeup on, playing with the hem of one of your shirts.
Fuck.
Have you not learned anything from that TED talk you gave yourself earlier? Now you have gone ahead and done the last thing you should never do- getting a crush on your new friend. Could you be any more of a stereotype?
"Um... you can use the shower now," Ariana said and you realized she probably can't see you. Which is a good thing, because it meant that she didn't witnessed the mini heart attack you just had.
"Cool." You cleared your throat, moving inside your bedroom as quickly as you can with your eyes looking anywhere but Ariana.
You grabbed whatever clothes you needed from the top pile of your drawer and raced to the bathroom. It was only when you locked the door that you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
The cold shower helped.
By the time you were done washing up, you notice that the bedroom lights are off so you open the bathroom door gently, not wanting to wake Ariana up if she's already asleep.
You turn off all the remaining light sources and tiptoed your way out of your bedroom. Good thing you kept that blanket on the couch.
But then you hit something, and you froze when it thud dully on the floor.
You heard a sleepy rasp that sounded vaguely like your name.
"Go back to sleep," You whispered back.
"Where are you going?"
"To the... couch?"
"Why?"
"To sleep." You replied lamely, though hoping the answer would satisfy Ariana's curiosity.
"There's a queen-sized bed over here, you know?"
"I know. I bought it as soon as I could afford it."
Even in the dark, you knew Ariana was staring at you. The quietness of the night only punctuated the little sigh she let out. "Okay. Goodnight."
"Night." You said in return, grateful that she let you slip out of your room without further questioning. If you had stayed any longer, you might have lost all resolve and any amount of sleep.
-
Needless to say, breakfast the next morning was an awkward affair, solely because of your inability to look Ariana in the eye without your heart wanting to jump out of your chest.
It felt like high school all over again and you hated to be reminded of it. If Regina George saw you at that moment, she would label you as the one who was too gay to function.
Usually, you would just have a simple toast and tea for breakfast but, to make up for your awkwardness and to keep your promise, you splurged on fancy vegan food.
She left her food half untouched in apologies when her phone blew up with missed calls and unread messages. You were a pot of mixed feelings but it boiled down to understanding, she's a busy woman after all.
Technically, so were you. Having Ariana over meant putting off any sort of video production and you realized you need to shoot something soon for your weekly deadlines.
So you got to work, thinking of an idea that took you little effort but still generated quality entertainment. And it hit you - vlogs.
So you texted your best friend, Olivia. It was only fitting since she's the one that boosted your channel's popularity.
Olivia, simply put, was the total opposite of you. You met her in college and bonded over your mutual love of visual arts and women. While you were more reserved as a person, Olivia was a social butterfly - think Jennifer from Jennifer's Body and Veronica from Riverdale. She could come across as a party animal at times, but she never crossed any lines. You were grateful for her, who encouraged you to be more outgoing, without pushing your boundaries. This was why the both of you were really close to the point any videos featuring her were flooded with comments like "your chemistry is off the charts", "just date already" and... well you get the idea.
It wasn't to say you didn't entertain the idea. You were not blind (at least not without your glasses). It was just that Olivia was like everyone her age, afraid of commitment. You were an outlier. You believed in love being a progressive, long-term effort that two (or more) parties put in for each other, and you always liked the idea of marriage as a declaration of growing together in unity, (whether or not you were actually allowed to do so in different parts of the world.)
Though, you understood the appeal of casual hookups. In Olivia's own words, "you get to have all of the fun with none of the responsibilities." It did sound like a good deal when she put it like that.
Anyway, Olivia readily accepted your invitation of doing absolutely anything and nothing. So the both of you decided to just walk around the city, doing stuff you both enjoy. That included cafe hopping (where Olivia took pictures of instagrammable drinks that you end up drinking), visiting museums that featured anything interesting (like art or women or both), shopping (which included Olivia pretending to be a runway model and you, her stereotypical clueless but supportive "boyfriend" who knew nothing about haute couture) and going to the park to people-watch and talk about life.
That was how you spent the whole day, ending with Olivia walking you home. As you rounded the corner, you saw a white car parked in front of your house.
"Babe, were you expecting someone?" Olivia asks.
"Not that I know of. Might be one of the neighbors'."
As you walked closer, you spotted the owner leaning against their car door, looking down at their phone.
"Ariana?" She looked up at the sound of her name, the frown on her face lifted.
She ran up to hug you, which you returned in surprised hesitation. Then she saw Olivia. "Oh, hi."
You felt Olivia nudging her elbows into your side. You already know what's on her mind.
"Ariana, Olivia. Liv, Ariana." You introduced your friends to each other.
"What are you doing here?" You asked Ariana, who turned bashful at the question.
"Well... I texted you a bunch of times, but you didn't reply. So I thought something must have happened to you since you usually text back quickly."
You fished out your phone, finding it dead. "I must have forgotten to charge my phone yesterday and went out without realizing it."
"I'm sorry, I think I used your phone charger last night."
You ignored Olivia's questioning stares. "It's cool, I should invest in another one soon. Or at least in a power bank."
"Sounds like a good idea," Ariana commented. "Can't keep coming over whenever I can't reach you."
The three of you stand on the sidewalk looking at each other with wildly different expressions until your hospitality tendencies kicked in and reminded you to invite them in.
You offered refreshments as they sit around the coffee table. "Do you guys want anything?" You asked from the kitchen, opening your fridge to look for drinks.
When you didn't get a response, you turned towards the living room. "Guys?"
"I'll take whatever you have."
"I'm good with anything."
"Okay, water it is then." You said, grabbing two bottled water and glasses for them.
You felt slightly weirded out by the fact they didn't look at you while replying. It was only when you placed the bottles in front of them that Ariana turned her focus to you.
"Were you out filming something?" Ariana asks. You followed her gaze and saw the tripod tucked under your arm.
"Yep, Olivia and I were filming a vlog all day." You quickly tuck it back in its usual spot.
"That sounds fun, we should do one together."
"I agree, let's all do one together." Olivia cut into the conversation. Now it was her turn to ignore you while you shot her a confused look.
Are they having a staring contest?
The tension was so indescribably weird, and all you knew was to get out of there before anything weirder happened.
"I'm going to charge my phone. Make yourself at home." You addressed them before power walking to your bedroom.
You breathed deeply after you closed the room door. You plugged your phone in, placed it on your desk, and waited for it to come back to life. You killed time by staring at the black screen, almost forgetting that you have guests. The door creaked open and you almost jumped in surprise. You were met with said guests staring at you.
"Is everything okay? You were taking longer than needed for one to charge their phones." Olivia inquires.
Oh, "I was just waiting for it to turn on so I could check my messages. Speaking of which, what did you text me, Ariana?"
"Oh, I wanted to apologize for leaving abruptly this morning."
"It's all good. You leaving for work reminded me of the stuff I have to do too."
They entered when you gestured them in, with Olivia claiming your armchair and Ariana settling on the edge of your bed.
Olivia's eyes widened, at her, before at you. Almost like telepathy, you hear Olivia's voice in your head.
You let her sit on your bed without showering first? You don't even let me, your best friend, you clean freak.
Shut up. There isn't anywhere else to sit anyway. And do not say the floor.
You made me sit on the floor before!
She's Ariana Grande. I'm not making her sit on the floor.
Yeah only me, you heartless monster.
Olivia sent you a pout and you returned it with an eye roll.
A soft cough redirected your attention. "Will you be free tonight? I want to make it up to you," Ariana asked.
"Before you could answer, Olivia replied for you.
"We have already made plans for tonight. Perhaps next time?"
You liar. You were literally dropping me home 10 minutes ago. You said and I quote "have a boy toy waiting for you tonight" and you wanted to cut short our hangout to prepare.
As you said, I'm a liar, I lied about that.
Why are you lying about lying?!
"Oh ok." Ariana stood up from your bed and you followed suit. You walked her to your door, wanting to cheer her up because she seemed a little disappointed.
"So... we-"
"Guess I'll-"
The both of you laugh. "Go ahead." You offered.
"Let's make plans to film that vlog maybe sometime next week?"
"I love that idea. Text me whenever you're free."
"Okay, I will." She said, unlocking her car.
You pulled the door handle and closed the door gently when Ariana settled in the driver's seat. You step back as the engine purred, waiting for the car to drive off before stepping back into your house.
The moment you enter your bedroom, Olivia pounced on you, both literally and figuratively.
"Did Ariana slept over? On your bed?!" Olivia squealed, somehow being more excited than you about the fact.
"How did that go? Did you do each other's makeup and talk about boys?" She teased, winking exaggeratedly. "Or did you two kiss and she calls it a "practice"?"
"Stop that, you know how I feel about the fetishizing of WLW for the pleasure of-"
"The male gaze. I know, I proofread your essay enough times to memorize it by heart."
"Besides, there's no reason why she would ever kiss me."
"Babygirl, have you seen you?" She gave you a blatant once over. There it is, Olivia's signature flirting skills.
While you appreciated Olivia being your hype woman, you don't know how to accept compliments. Societal beauty standards would do that to a person.
You scoffed sarcastically. "You're right, Ariana Grande's type is women with social anxiety and mommy issues.
"Well it is mine, and that says a lot," Olivia smirked confidently.
"Yeah, it says that you need to see a therapist too and up your flirting game." She swatted at your shoulders playfully.
"Anyway, I got to go. As much as I would love to stay over, I don't think you appreciate me dirtying your bed, so I guess I have to find somewhere else to be."
"I know you're heading to his house. Why did you lie in the first place then?"
"Well, it's my duty as your best friend to protect you from danger. As much as I love Ari, she's a dangerous woman. She said so herself."
Even though it wasn't your style, you played dumb. "What are you on about?"
Olivia sat back down and looked into your eyes knowingly. "Can't have you getting your heart broken by a girl the second time, can we now?"
You smiled wryly at her words. Olivia knew you too well.
"It's just a crush, one that all of America and probably half of the world have as well."
"I know, boo. But if you don't draw clear lines from the beginning, one day you'll find her moving into your house like it's hers. Like a reverse, sapphic version of Parasite." Olivia commented shrewdly. "You lesbians move too fast for your own good."
Try as you might, you could not refute Olivia's statement.
AN: This chapter is basically a personification of the term "gay panic"