"Luz and I were supposed to meet in the next town over in the building where the bell tower is located," Gus explained as we continued down the long road. We had ditched the bike to travel quietly choosing subtly over comfort. At this point, I've grown used to traveling large distances on foot though I still had my moments. Besides, Gus had actually made good company. I'd been wearing his helmet pretending to be him to get him to laugh.
He turned to me after I hadn't answered and it snapped me out of my thoughts. He smiled before raising his hand and placing it behind the helmet without me expecting it. Bringing his hand back he had an ace of spades in his hand and I looked at him confused. "Is this your card?" He asked me and the unexpected action from him led me to laugh.
"You know just how to get my mind off things don't you," I said warmly whilst shaking my head at him. He merely shrugged before continuing on his way and I just followed him.
"I guess so. Magic tricks always got Luz's mind off of things." He said offhandedly before looking over his shoulder at me. "I probably shouldn't mention her around you though, should I?" He asked.
"It's fine. Luz and I have some things to work out, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear about her." I admitted going to walk next to him. I went to say something else though Gus grabbed my arm and dragged me off to the side of the road. That's when I heard the cars approaching us on the road and I stayed low to the ground along with him.
They were heavily armored vehicles and they had that same familiar symbol on the side of them I had grown to know all too painfully well. We waited for them to pass and even then we'd waited a few moments longer before moving again. Though this time we chose to cut through the town instead of heading down the main road. Soon we found ourselves in front of the bell tower.
This, however, had not been without company. The heavily armored vehicles were parked outside of it. Some men surrounded the vehicles heavily armed as they spoke amongst themselves. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Gus motioning me to follow him. After a bit of navigating Gus had found us a way around them and to the side entrance of the building.
"She has to be in here. They must have followed her somehow." Gus whispered as he opened the door and we both entered the building. We'd started to search the floors with no sign of Luz at all. At some point, I heard the men from outside enter the building while Gus and I had been heading back to the first floor. We hid behind a wall allowing most of them to pass.
Peeking around the corner is how I saw there were two left straggling in the back. "There's two coming this way. I'll take one, you take the other." I whispered to Gus and he gave me a stiff nod. As the first one passed I waited on the second one before rushing forward and grabbing him from behind. Gus ran forward grabbing the other though the guard had shot off a bullet bringing the attention of the other guards to us.
I pulled out a knife, the helmet on my head making it more difficult to see as I brought it down on the guy within my grasp. I turned my head to the sound of the other members of the group rushing back toward us. Looking down at the man by my feet I grabbed his gun before taking cover behind a wall as bullets flew passed me. Gus doing the same began to open fire at them. He began taking them out one by one as I stared blankly at the weapon in my hands frozen.
I had never really liked using guns before. The only time I had held one was the one Edric had given me. The one I had abandoned on the ground before I got trapped in that alley. "Amity! Let's go!" I heard an abrupt shout from beside me.
The world fell back to me, and with it, the sight of Gus holding out his hand to me. I took his offered hand as he led me down the hall. I took a glimpse back behind us and regretted it after what I saw. Though I had to keep moving forward. He stopped right by the door and peeked out to see the rest of the group by the vehicles.
Someone wearing a guard uniform appeared behind us though he wasn't wearing a helmet. I gave him a glare before putting my knife away and taking one from Gus's belt. "I'll take care of these guys and meet you out there while you take care of him," Gus ordered and I agreed to turn back and head to the guy at the far side of the room. Gunshots echoed but I paid them no mind.
I rushed towards him, tackling him to the ground. "Wait! Don't hurt me! I'm not one of them!" He shouted in fear. This caused me to pause.
"Who are you?" I asked while holding my knife to his throat.
"Luz!" He shouted in panic and my eyes went wide.
"You know Luz?" I asked but suddenly I was tackled to the side landing hard on the ground. I looked up to see Luz hovering over me. She grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the ground. Her grip had been extremely tight as it began to hurt.
"Matt, get out of here!" She shouted at him. I thought I saw a flash of red in her eyes but I'd assumed it was from the adrenaline rushing through me. I struggled in her grip as I overheard Gus coming back through the door with sweat on his forehead and the 'Matt' kid right behind him. I watched them both slam the doors shut as I heard gunshots ring out.
"Amity! They're letting them out of a truck and sending them to us! I've never seen anything like it but we're in big trouble!" Before I could respond to Gus I saw multiple figures of monsters slamming against the windows. My heart skipped a beat at hearing this as a memory from the last time I saw Edric resurfaced to the forefront of my mind. This had happened to me before and it didn't end well the last time. This group, they were far more dangerous than I could've ever imagined.
"Amity?" Luz questioned in disbelief while releasing my wrists from her hold. I brought my hands up and removed the helmet while breathing heavily.
"Good to see you too," I said sarcastically through my breaths as I let the air cool me. Luz stood up and offered me a hand before pulling me up to stand. She was looking at me as if she couldn't believe I had actually been standing before her. She went to say something though I cut her off as the sounds grew louder and the glass began to crack.
"Save it for later okay? We need to get going." I said before picking up her familiar bat and shoving it into her chest. She looked a bit hurt and angry but we didn't have time for it. Gus and Matt had pushed something in front of the door before they both backed up and looked at us with worry. The monsters began to break through, some reaching out towards Matt as he jumped back.
"Let's go, now!" Luz said as she went to stand in front of us with her bat at the ready. I looked toward Gus and gave him a nod before we took the lead further into the building. I heard glass shatter behind me but I kept moving forward even as the growls of the monsters grew near. Gus was grabbed from behind and I turned around in shock. Before I could make an attempt to save him Matt shoved the Monster off of him and into a wall.
They both had fallen behind Luz and me as the monsters made up the ground. My eyes went wide. "Gus!" I screamed as images of my brother crossed my mind. I made a move to go after him but a strong grip on my wrist pulled me away.
"No Amity. You'll get killed." Luz said firmly and I ripped myself from her grasp in anger.
"It's okay Amity! Get outside and we'll meet you!" Gus shouted as Matt grabbed his arm and they rushed down the hall closest to them. I turned around in panic and followed Luz as we rushed down our own hall. Luz ran up to a chained stairway door and kicked it with so much force the chain broke and the door flew open. We both ran up the stairs to the second floor before she threw that door open. It slammed shut behind us as we both looked around breathing heavily.
A few strangling monsters came around the corner after hearing us and Luz grabbed my wrist and rushed me around a corner before shoving me into a room and locking it behind us. She signaled for me to stay quiet and I held my hands to my mouth to do so. I saw the shadows of the monsters passing by and after a few moments Luz let out a breath of relief. I watched her march up to the windows on the other side of the room as I gave my brain some time to catch up with me. Her back faced me as she gazed out the window.
"Still scared of heights?" She turned from the window and asked me. I felt my shoulders slouch as I looked at her with hesitance. She can't be serious right now.
"Luz," I said with a warning in my tone but she turned away from me and opened the window. She slowly stepped out onto the ledge and I looked at her in disbelief. "Luz, I can't do that! That ledge is barely a foot wide!" I exclaimed walking closer with wide eyes.
"Amity," she started as she offered her hand through the open window. "I have a plan. Trust me?" She questioned and I looked at her incredulously.
"You're seriously asking me that after everything." I looked at her with rage and she sighed frustrated at me.
"Now is not the time for you to operate on your emotions. Haven't they got us in enough messes?" She shouted and I clenched my hands into fists.
"You really want to talk about putting us into messes when you had a group following and hunting you down who constantly attempted to kill us?" I started but then I heard voices outside in the hall.
"I want a confirmation that they are detained or dead. Bring me the subject alive." I heard a voice order over the radio and my eyes went wide. I turned towards Luz and saw the same surprise on her face.
"Window it is!" I exclaimed. She turned and offered her hand out to me. I slowly placed my hand in hers immediately regretting it. Behind us, I could hear the doorknobs being turned though Luz had locked them. I looked back to see a guard catching sight of us through the door's small window. After that, he began to try to shove himself into the door in an attempt to open it.
"Well, no going back now." She responded quickly and grabbed my waist, lifting me out and placing my feet on the ledge next to hers. My heart dropped at this sudden movement without warning. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a panic thinking I'd fall otherwise. "Amity, there is no time for fear right now. We have to go." She said this and I realized where I had my hands placed around her and backed away feeling uncomfortable given everything we've gone through.
It took me a moment before reality set in and I nodded my head frantically at her while getting out of my head. She maneuvered around me, motioning me to make my way across the ledge. Taking a deep breath I avoided looking down as I forced myself to move safely across it. I looked back at Luz after hearing a commotion. She seemed to be struggling with a guard trying to make their way onto the ledge with us.
I took Gus's knife out and threw it towards the guard who Luz had been fighting with. He fell to the side against the frame of the window holding the arm the knife had become embedded in as Luz looked at me not expecting such action from me. Though she then turned to punch him in the face and push him back into the other guard.
Making her way toward me my leg slipped as a piece of the ledge broke off. My eyes went wide as I fumbled to find something to grasp to keep from falling that wasn't there. Suddenly Luz lurched forward. Grabbing my arm as I hung leaning backward diagonally. I brought my other arm to hold hers as I watched her other hand's grip on a windowsill begin to slip.
"Luz!" I shouted in panic. She closed her eyes for a moment. When they opened again I thought I saw a red hue within them. The veins on her exposed arms became more visible as she groaned while pulling me back up. My front hugged the wall as I caught my breath, my heart beating out of my chest.
"Go to that ladder now Amity!" Luz ordered, her voice raspy, taking on a darker tone than before. It snapped me out of my shocked state as I continued on the ledge toward a ladder at the side of the building.
"Get on and hold tight." She ordered me once I reached the ladder and I did as instructed. I stepped down onto the ladder before wrapping my arms around it and gripping tightly. "I am going to release the latch and it is going to fall. Hold on tight and ride it to the bottom." Before I could really process her words she undid a latch at the top of it.
Once it was released it descended quickly to the ground. Faster than I had been prepared for. Once it rammed into the ground I fell onto my back from the force, my grip getting lost. I looked up still trying to process and recover from the fast descent and the hard impact. I saw Luz at the top of the ladder, placing her feet on either side as well as her hands before sliding down it. Her boots planted hard onto the ground as she finally made it to me.
Turning to look at me, her eyes still looked somewhat red as she offered me her hand. Taking it, she brought me up before we turned at a sudden commotion to the side of us. I watched Gus run from around the corner both looking disheveled and sweaty. Though, regardless of his current state, I couldn't help the relief I had felt after seeing Gus was okay. "Gus, where's Matt?" I heard Luz ask with worry.
Gus came to a sudden stop before us breathing heavily. Before he could respond a sudden loud engine came from behind. I turned just in time to see one of the armored vehicles belonging to the group crash through a fence. And right there in the driver's seat was Matt with wide eyes. He brought it to stop beside us before Gus opened the door and motioned for us to get in. Luz kicked Matt out of the driver's seat and took his place. Gus took the seat beside her as I jumped in the back with Matt not too thrilled to sit next to Luz.
She stepped on the gas before the doors had even been completely shut. I fell back into my seat and laid my head back as I let my heart catch up. I wanted to take a moment to rest before I did what I had been originally wanting to. Once we stop, I'll tell Gus about my plans and hope that we can meet up with Em and my dad as soon as possible. As much as I wanted a real answer from Luz, I don't think I'm ready to deal with whatever it is that needed to be dealt with between the two of us.
I still held some anger and resentment, but it wasn't all for Luz. I was also angry at myself for what happened to Edric. He wasn't there and it was all my fault. This is something I had to carry with me, something I had to live with. I can't change the past and I certainly can't predict the future but I could definitely decide what I do now. Luz had said that she needed space and with or without her and the others, I'd make it back to my family because this is what I needed. It's time that I finally finish what I started.
... ... ... ...
After some time it had become very clear that there was something wrong with the vehicle as smoke came from the engine. Luz pulled it over as we all stepped out while she opened the hood. She looked away from the car with an angered look. "This car is useless to us now. It must have been sabotaged by them or something." She informed and my eyes sent Matt a death glare.
"How do we know he had nothing to do with it? He's the one who brought us it. What if he's in on everything?" I accused and Luz immediately came to his defense.
"I would know if he had planned this." She said and Matt nodded his head in agreement.
"Hey guys, let's cool off okay? We have to trust each other," Gus mumbled and I scoffed at that.
"Yeah, good luck with that," I mumbled and Gus turned to look at me confused.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Oh nothing, just that some of us are better with trust than others," I answered and I saw Luz's head snap towards me at the obvious jab at her.
"What did you say?" Luz asked, getting up and walking towards me with her fists clenched at her side.
"You heard me," I stated, unbothered by her anger and her deminer.
"You want to say that to my face, Blight?" She said stepping closer to me.
"Well I would but you've gotten so good at turning your back on me I don't think I'd have the chance to do so," I said with a smirk and I could've sworn something flashed in her eyes at this.
"You're one to talk considering you seem to be doing perfectly fine without me. In fact, I can't help but notice how much you want to get as far from me as possible." She said with confidence. "You're the one who wants to turn your back on me. So maybe you should do us both a favor and tell the honest truth about what you want. " She continued stepping closer.
"I want never to have to see your face again so I don't have to be reminded of everything bad that happened between us. I want to find my family and get as far from you as humanly possible so I no longer have to feel this empty hole that you left behind in my heart. I want to stop caring for you and crying over you and feeling so angry all the time." I shouted while spreading my arms out to express the emotion I could not.
"But I can't have that because you're still here and there is a part of me that is still stuck in the past I had with you. But that can't happen, can it? Because we're both stuck with each other until this is all over. So, in order to make the rest of this trip bearable maybe we should..." I was cut off by the roar of distant engines coming our way. I turned just in time to see the group appear from around the corner with two armored vehicles.
"What is it going to take to get rid of these guys?" Luz shouted while taking cover behind the armored vehicle we had stolen as bullets rang out.
"Maybe you should try pushing them away. You seemed to do a pretty good job at it with me." I mumbled already tired of seeing these guys. I had run into them twice since meeting Luz again and I was reminded of the constant running I had to do with her simply being around me.
"And maybe you can act out based on your feelings like you always do. After all, you seem to do a good job at that. Maybe you can do us a favor and finally put your emotion to good use by scaring them away." She retorted back.
"You know what? Following Gus here was a mistake! Maybe we are better off without each other!" I ran my hands through my hair and pulled at it.
"You seem to have done just fine without me so maybe you're right! I didn't act weak like I did when I was with you so maybe we're just holding each other back!" Her hands seemed to start to shake as she stood there.
"I should've never come back to you. It only made everything hurt more than it ever did without you!" I lied, being without her hurt way more than this did. This fight with its noise and chaos was nothing compared to the moments alone with the quiet and the forced order.
"Oh don't act as if you were the only one hurting!" The fact that she had said something like that after she was the one who pushed me away was laughable.
"Are you kidding me? You are the one who wanted me to leave!" I was tired of her at this point, so tired.
"I know and I regretted it the moment it happened! I thought you would have been better, safer, and happier without me. Being with me only got you hurt and put you in danger as it is now. Leaving you wasn't what I wanted but it's what was best for both of us. I mean, look at us Amity, we're a mess. We're currently being shot at and still arguing with each other!" She screamed.
"Shut up already!" Gus shouted before kneeling next to the front of the vehicle with his gun out. He turned to me with a serious look in his eyes, the same look Edric would give me when he wasn't joking, and the same look he gave me the last time I saw him. "Take Matt and get to cover in the building behind us while Luz and I take care of this!" He ordered before handing Luz a gun and returning fire.
I froze as thoughts of Edric came to me. Matt's hand was placed on my shoulder as he tried to convince me to follow him. Gus looked back at me, "Amity, go now!" He told me and I shook my head.
"I can't!" I exclaimed back shaking my head at him.
"Why not?" Luz asked back instead of him but I ignored her.
"The last time I left behind someone I cared about I never saw them again. I lost my brother," I turned giving Luz a look. "I even lost you," I said to her before looking at Gus. "I can't lose another person like that," I said with determination.
Turning I took the gun from Luz's hand and the fear I had of using one was outweighed by my determination. "Luz," I started, "you go take cover with Matt while Gus and I deal with this!" I ordered while giving Matt a look that told him not to argue. My eyes avoided Luz's as Matt grabbed her arm and dragged her away as she gave little resistance. She seemed to be more focused on analyzing me than questioning me.
I looked back to Gus as he began to load another clip into his gun and I got up to cover him. My anger fueled me to do what was necessary. To neutralize a threat to the people I care about as I imagined I should have done with Edric but hadn't been capable of at the time. I don't intend to make that same mistake again. I had been so close and had gone so far to get where I am now. I will not let any of it go to waste.
If I have to put my anger for Luz aside to focus on things then that is what I'll do. Besides, I'm so tired of being angry all the time. Luz and I have to find a way to move past this and find our way to coexist again. We both have made mistakes and it's too much to ask for both of us to keep holding everything against each other with all the other things currently working against us.
Forgiveness may be out of the question as I had also said things to her I can't take back. For now, we'll just have to settle for some sort of fresh start and do things right this time. Living in a world like this already gives us so many obstacles to compete with already. We shouldn't have to compete against each other too. I fell right back out of my mind as I was pushed to the ground.
Gus and I had handled most of them but we were out of bullets and out of luck it seemed. So he dragged me up as we both ran like our lives depended on it because they did. And we burst through the doors as we heard engines roar to life once more. And we continued forward as Luz and Matt fell into step behind us. And we rushed to the far end of the building and slammed the back doors open as we ran towards a field we spotted a bit of distance away.
With heavy breaths and the engines promising we were being followed we continued to rush through the field blindly. With no intentions of stopping we continued to push forward before we ran into some monsters and turned to follow the path of a deserted road instead. We then turned off and ran deep into the woods hoping their inability to take their vehicles in after us would give us the time to put some distance between us and them. It seemed like such did deter them giving us a chance to continue deeper into the woods in hopes of losing any of them who'd chased us on foot.
Gus paused for a moment and leaned against a tree triggering all of us to stop and catch our breaths just the same. "How do they keep finding us, Luz?" I had addressed her with a genuine question for the first time since we had reunited for lack of a better word. "It's like no matter what we do or where we go they always know where we are, they always find us," I mumbled to myself as I tried to come up with an answer.
Gus and Matt looked between the two of us but I immediately waved the thought away that it could have been them because this had been happening before we'd met them. "They had found us in the woods that one night but they had only been there to clear out the hoard. I don't think they actually knew we were in the woods at that time or they would have been searching for us." I told her and she looked at me slowly falling into the conversation with tension in her shoulders slipping slightly.
"You're right, but they were able to find us at The Sanctuary right? So how did they know we were there?" She asked me and I stepped forward with furrowed brows.
"This all started once we had made it to The Sanctuary and it continued after. They were still able to find me when I was with Gus though. If they had been only keeping up with you then I would have been safe right? So how are they able to locate where we both are?" I asked her and she took her backpack off and started to riffle through it.
"Give me your knife." She said while dumping her bag out and I tossed it to her. She cut her bag open and I watched her unsure as to what she was doing. "Oh my God." She'd said with wide eyes and I was clueless until I saw her bring her hand from her bag and saw a blinking red light. A tracker, they had planted a tracker on Luz, but that meant they had to put one on me too. "This is bad." She said before getting up and walking toward me.
"You don't carry a bag with you as I do. Do you have any idea where they could have placed one on you?" She asked me and I shook my head.
"Maybe they didn't place one on Amity. I mean, they never found us until we were on our way to find you so maybe they ran into us while we were looking for you as well." Gus suggested and I nodded my head in agreement.
"That's true. They were first chasing us when Gus was running from them and then they happened to come across us as we had been making our way to the bell tower." I looked to Luz before continuing. "If they were tracking me they would have found Gus and me sooner instead of just passing us on the road," I explained and she looked down at the tracker in her hands with an unreadable expression.
"They were following us this whole time." She said with a deep voice. "They've been tracking me, hunting me, endangering you all this time." She continued in much the same tone. This was a tone I knew well, a tone I was scared of, a tone no amount of time away from Luz could ever make me forget; this was the tone of hers I could never really shake after hearing it and after seeing what she does next. Her actions were always dark and ended in bloodshed. Out of habit, I walked forward and placed my hand on her chest to calm her down and keep her from doing something as dangerous to her as it was to the receivers of such actions.
"Luz," I said this softly; softer than I had in a while, softer than I had intended, softer than I had wanted. I cleared my throat and looked at her, watching as conflict appears on her face and confusion passed through her eyes. "Don't..." I trailed off taking my hand from her and letting it fall to my side.
"Are you going to stop me?" She asked in a tone she never used with me, at least not in a way that was directed at me specifically. I shook my head at this.
"No, I'm not going to stop you or tell you not to do whatever it is that you have planned in that head of yours," I explained myself, clarifying things so she knew better.
"Then what is it? Don't what?" She asked growing frustrated and impatient. I sighed and let my shoulders fall.
"I was going to say don't get hurt," I mumbled before walking up to Gus. "We should set up camp somewhere. Find a secure structure to regroup and rest up. Figure things out after." I told him and he gave me a stiff nod though I didn't question it. We all have our own demons and Gus deserves his privacy.
So this is what we set off in search of. And once we found a building and ensure it was safe and secure I watched as Gus and Matt laid down to rest. Something I knew for a fact Luz and I would not be doing for our own reasons. I picked up her bat that had been played beside me and walked to the door where Luz stood staring blankly out the window. I handed it to her without a word and she turned to me and gripped it tightly in her hand.
"I'll only be gone for a short while. I'll be back soon." She said to me.
"I know. I'll keep watch until you get back." I responded instantly already knowing what she needed to do for us and for herself. She looked as if she wanted to say something, the words on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite find a way to get them out. "I know Luz. We'll talk about it when you get back." I said softly as if I knew what she had to say but I really didn't. I just didn't feel like talking now and I knew she had something she needed to do.
"Okay." She said before giving me her familiar two-fingered salute and disappearing out of the house before I could truly process that she had already left. I stood there for a few moments longer, staring at the door where she just was. Before I could lose myself any further in my thoughts I went to sit in a chair to keep an eye on the boys as I started my watch. And I was left to myself in the quiet and wondering when Luz would be returning and what state she would be in when she did.
... ... ... ...
It was a few quiet hours later of me stuck to myself and my thoughts before I heard a commotion at the front door and stood with my knife at the ready. Then I saw Luz come through the door and was surprised to only see a little blood on her clothes. She was disheveled and covered in some dirt more than anything else. It made me wonder what she did but I knew better than to let my mind wander to dark thoughts for too long. "Hey," I whispered, unsure of what the proper thing was to say to her.
We were still not on the best terms and I needed to somehow change that before we moved any further. The last thing we need is any more of this anger and tension with everything we're already facing. But she just got back and I knew she needed a moment of space. "Hey." She whispered back. I gave her a small smile before going to sit against the wall near Gus and Matt.
At this Luz went to her own corner, setting her bat down that I just now noticed was covered in dried blood. She had this distant look, one I was familiar with. I'd seen her dawn it many times in the past and each time it had been for different reasons but with a similar objective.
I laid my head back against the wall and watched as Luz began to write in her notebook in the corner. Gus and Matt had dozed off with Matt on the couch and Gus on the floor with multiple blankets. I sighed too tired to properly stay awake but somehow unable to sleep. It was all too exhausting at this point; the running, the surviving, the fighting, all of it. And to think I should have been used to it all by now.
We stayed in the silence, Luz and I, in our own worlds. At some point, she put her notebook down and began to stare off into space same as me. "I've done bad things," Luz mumbled and I turned my head to her.
"I know," I whispered back, but I didn't know, not really. Did it matter if I knew or not? Would it matter to me what she's done, who she was?
"I regret leaving you, but there are things that you don't know about me. I've done things and I can't go back and change that." She said this with a look in her eyes.
"I'm not asking you to," I stated.
"I want to fix this but I can't go back so what do I do? What are you asking me? " Her voice wavered.
"I'm asking for you to stay this time. For me, just stay. If you're honest with me and we can learn to trust each other fully, then we can make this work for real this time. Besides, I'm tired of being mad at you." I told her trying to catch her eyes so she'd know I was serious.
"I forgive you by the way. If that wasn't clear enough for you." I got up and moved to sit down next to her. She turned her head and gazed at me.
"Amity I..." She tried to start up again but I didn't let her.
"Stop," I pulled her into a tight hug, "I've missed you." She tensed up for a moment from shock before she relaxed into my hold and we stayed like that for a moment. And after that, we fell into conversation. I secretly hated how easy it was to fall back into her, but I couldn't help it.
"For you and I, we got to know each other at a slow pace, but it's our pace, and there's still so much we've yet to learn." I tuned back into Luz's rant. She'd been talking for a while now without stopping. I'm uncertain why she was doing this besides maybe she'd still felt guilty for what happened.
Now she was trying to make up for lost time and overwhelming herself by doing so. "Luz, we've been growing with each other. Just give it time, there's no rush." I tried to calm her racing thoughts though she still had that same look on her face.
"I know, but we've already lost so much time and I just thought after some of the things we've been through a rush kind of feels necessary." She said this with a desperate look on her face and I knew I had to do something.
"Luz," I'd started while taking her face in my hands. "I understand what you're trying to do but you need to slow down okay?" I tried to reason with her and I watched her shoulders drop. She brought her hands up, taking mine and bringing them between us before staring down at them as a soft look grew on her face. Looking down at our hands I noticed something on her wrist. She still had on that silly duct tape bracelet I had made her, it in all its worn and tattered glory, but before I could acknowledge it out loud she spoke up.
"Don't take this the wrong way okay? I like who I am around you Amity, but I also hate it at the same time. You make me feel human again." She spoke with a weird undertone and what she said caught me off guard.
"Human? Again? What in the world are you talking about?" I questioned her while laughing at her absurd statement. "Well, I mean, I guess I can see where you're coming from. With the world being the way it is, and with the things we've had to do and the people we had to become to adapt to it; sometimes I feel anything but human as well." I told her honestly while brushing my thumb across her knuckles.
"Yeah, that's not exactly what I meant by that." She mumbled under her breath but I heard. I tilted my head at her, furrowing my brows as this is not what I'd been expecting from her.
"Oh? Well then, what did you mean by it?" I asked her while raising a brow in curiosity. She looked from our interlocked hands quickly. There was this look of fear that crossed her face I had not been prepared for. It was not often that I'd seen Luz scared of anything. This reaction worried me.
"Luz? What's wrong?" I asked her in uncertainty. Her eyes shifted between mine as she seemed defenseless for reasons unknown to me.
"I'm not ready to tell you yet. I just got you back." She whispered in anguish and I felt my heart break for her.
"Okay, I can wait." I forced a smile and swallowed past the heaviness in my throat. "We're good though now, right?" I asked her to get her mind off of it.
"Yeah, we're good." She agreed quietly.
"You promise?" I asked while offering her my pinky finger and she rolled her eyes and let out a small chuckle.
"Promise." She wrapped her finger around mine and we stayed like that for a moment in silence, smiling at each other like idiots. Yeah, things were good now. And I would continue to believe that until the truth came out and I realized that Luz and I could never really catch a break for too long. This break-ending event was the truth about Luz being revealed and everything changed once more.
Little did we know at that moment that this was before we'd be faced with the darkest truth yet. And that everything that led up to this next day was nothing compared to what would come next. There were so many things that I'd change about that day if I could. I'd do anything to go back and avoid it all. But it's too late for that now. This, for Luz and me, was only the beginning.