"Look, I'm sorry," Lorenzo sighed, once he realized what he had just implied. "I didn't mean it that way."
"Yes. Yes, you did," Kingsley's voice was cold.
After Lorenzo said he wanted to stop, Kingsley was ready to beg him to not end things. Something he had never done before. Not even when Cole broke up with him. But for Lorenzo, he was ready to not only keep his pride, but his self-respect aside.
But Lorenzo's last words cut through him like a knife. To diminish and belittle everything that Kingsley had ever done... this was something he never expected to hear from the other man. And he couldn't let that slide, either.
"I'm really fucking sorry for keeping some things from you, but you got into this with me fully knowing that it could get you into trouble," Kingsley said. "I'm not the only one to blame for this."
"I know," Lorenzo replied. "I was blind and stupid, but now that... that the danger of it all is clear to me. That I've been basically given a second chance. I can't risk it all again."
"Okay," Kingsley said as he got up, ready to leave.
"That's it? You're leaving?" Lorenzo frowned.
"What? You expect me to cry and beg?" Kingsley scoffed. "Do you think I'm some daddy's spoiled little rich boy who will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants?"
"Reece," Lorenzo sighed as he stood up as well, taking a step towards the other man. "I apologize for what I said."
"Don't," Kingsley snatched his arm away when Lorenzo tried to touch him.
"Fine, be like that," Lorenzo snapped. "If it hadn't been for who you are, then you wouldn't have a journalist following you around and clicking our pictures."
"It could've been anyone!" Kingsley said in disbelief.
"But you... being who are you makes the chances of us getting exposed even higher."
"You want to dive into hypotheticals with me?" Kingsley rose a challenging brow, making Lorenzo roll his eyes. "If I wasn't who I am, then you wouldn't have your fucking job anymore. You wouldn't have anything to protect in the first place."
"Wow," Lorenzo let out a dry laugh as he turned away, no longer facing the other man. "You should leave."
"I was about to when you stopped me," Kingsley retorted.
"We're both angry and we're already saying things we'll regret tomorrow," Lorenzo said. "We need some space."
"You can have all the space you want. I'm out of here," Kingsley replied, his voice and face both devoid of any emotion. He turned around and took a few steps towards the door when Lorenzo called out his name once again.
"Reece..." Lorenzo sighed. Kingsley stopped in his steps.
A part of him desperately wanted Lorenzo to stop him. To tell him that everything was okay. That they were okay. His heartbeat grew faster as he tilted his head, looking at Lorenzo from the corner of his eye to see what he had to say. Despite the hurt and the anger, his mind was constantly chanting the same words over and over again.
Please don't let me leave. Please ask me to stay. Please.
"What?" Kingsley asked.
"About the conference in San Francisco... I'll be requesting Anwar to accompany me instead," Lorenzo answered.
Kingsley let out a dry chuckle. Of course, even after the conversation they just had, Lorenzo still cared more about some stupid meeting.
"Sure, sir," the bitterness in Kingsley's voice and tone wasn't masked in the slightest.
As Kingsley left Lorenzo's place and walked out of the building, he felt lost. He didn't know what to do next or where to go. The last place he wanted to go to was his penthouse, his cold and empty apartment that never felt like home in the five years that he had lived there.
He had gotten so used to Lorenzo and being with him, that without the option to go there... he just couldn't figure out where he belonged, if anywhere. Kingsley sat down on the sidewalk, watching people walk by him. Some didn't even acknowledge his presence, and the ones that did threw him a dirty look.
Kingsley felt numb. He didn't even know how long he sat there until the security guard of the building he was sitting in front of him asked him to leave. Kingsley didn't protest and got up without a word as he started walking in the opposite direction of his penthouse.
Kingsley ended up in a bar. One of the places he often frequented when he was in the market and looking to hook up. A place he hadn't been to in months now. Not since the first day he worked late with Lorenzo.
"The King in the house," the bartender, Ian, said as soon as he saw Kingsley taking a seat on one of the bar stools. "It's been a while, I was wondering what the hell happened to you."
"Just been busy with work," Kingsley replied, a half-truth.
"You do look burnt out," Ian noted as he hummed softly. "Alright, so what's your poison tonight?"
"Get me whatever fucks me up. Your pick."
As soon as Ian placed the glass in front of Kingsley, the man downed it in a single go, before pushing it back towards the bartender. Ian chuckled as he filled it up again.
"Just give me the damn bottle," Kingsley said after a while. Ian looked concerned at that, but didn't say anything and obliged.
Kingsley looked like a mess as he sat at the counter and had one drink after the other until he got rid of the glass and started drinking straight from the bottle. Ian kept glancing at Kingsley, worried, but didn't say anything as at least Kingsley was behaving.
The bar was nearly full, so the bartender had other people to focus on as well. Sometime later, he walked over to Kingsley to check on him again, only to notice that he had finished three-quarters of the bottle. His eyes were blood red, and he was clutching onto the bottle for dear life.
"Alright, I'm cutting you off now," Ian said as he tried to take the bottle away from Kingsley, who wouldn't let it go.
"No," Kingsley replied as he tried to pull it back.
"Don't make me throw you out," Ian warned.
"How about you take me home instead?" Kingsley's voice was slurred as he tried to smile at Ian, failing miserably at that. "I'll let you fuck me this time."
"I would take you up on this offer any other day but... not when you're in this state," Ian frowned. "Just give me the bottle and tell me who to call to pick you up."
"I'll get a cab," Kingsley muttered as he tried to get up, but ended up tripping and hitting his knee. "Fuck..."
"Yeah, no," Ian said as he walked around the bar to help Kingsley up. "You're not going home alone like this."
"Maybe you could take me then," Kingsley tried to flirt once again. He desperately needed someone to make him forget everything.
"My shift doesn't end until 4," Ian replied. "Just tell me who to call."
"Fine," Kingsley grumbled, seeming like a little kid upset about not getting what he wanted. He took his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it as he handed it over to Ian before sitting back on the stool. "Roan."
Ian nodded as he tried to find the contact. Kingsley rested his head on the counter, everything felt like it was spinning and Kingsley could no longer see or think straight. He couldn't even keep his eyes open and listen in to what Ian was saying to Roan over call.
"He'll be here in thirty," Ian said as he kept a hand on Kingsley's shoulder. "I'll take you to the back and you can take a nap in the employee's lounge, okay?"
"Uh-huh," was all Kingsley could manage to say as Ian helped him get up and took him to the backroom. Kingsley nearly fell on the couch, and instantly passed out as his head hit the cushion. Ian sighed tiredly at the man, before shaking his head and going back to work.
Kingsley didn't know when Roan reached or how he got back to his friend's place. He was too out of it to recall anything the next morning when he woke up in Roan and Kai's guest room which he was very familiar with. He felt some relief wash over him, as all he remembered from the night before was drinking non-stop until he passed out. He was glad that he was safe and not unconscious in some ditch.
He checked his phone, and it was way past noon. It was also a Monday, which meant he pretty much missed work. Not like he cared much about it after the events of last night. He hadn't even thought of how he'd show his face in the office again. Seeing Lorenzo would be... Kingsley shook his head, trying now to focus on that for now.
He got out of bed and walked outside to the kitchen. He called out Roan and Kai's names but was only met with silence, so he figured they were both at work. His eyes fell on a bright yellow post-it on the refrigerator, and he walked towards it.
Kai and I are at work. There's some lasagna in the fridge, heat it up. Feel free to stay as long as you want.
Kingsley sighed as he went back to the guest room, and got into the bed again. Just the thought of food made him sick to his stomach. He grabbed his phone, quickly writing an email to H.R stating that he was taking a couple of sick days off from work, before going back to sleep.
***
double update this week because... why not?
chapter 41 is up on patreon! I can't believe King's Guard is so close to ending ;-; which will mark the end of the Tense series— brb crying now