"Reality continues to ruin my life."
~Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Restless Heart Syndrome Chapter 4 Stop When the Red Lights Flash
Magnus sighs, looking at the ringing phone. It's business hours, he actually does have to answer it. He can't just lounge around, let it ring out like he's doing right now… With yet another sigh, Magnus magic's the phone to his ear, pressing talk with an impatient roll of his eyes.
"This is the High Warlock of Brooklyn speaking. How may I be of service?" His tone is slightly annoyed, sarcastic in a cold way that it speaks for itself.
"This is the New York Institute, and your service is required." It's a cold voice, steely. Maryse. Alec's mum... No, he won't help them. He doesn't have to, after all.
"I'd really rather not." Magnus frowns, going to hang up the phone.
"Please," A crack in that hard voice stops him, and he pulls the phone back up to her ear as an uneven breathing pattern marks the holding back of a sob. "Please, you have to help me. I've already lost one son - I can't lose another."
"What, did Jace put his hand through another window? Because I'm not to be called to assist such a thing." He really can't help but be an asshole, not when it could be Alec who's in trouble. He doesn't want to deal with that. Alec couldn't be hurt, could he? Dread knots up in the warlock's stomach, God, he hopes it's not Alec. "Just use an Iratze. Or did you forget how to do even that?"
"No, it's... Alec. Runes aren't working. Nothing is, and we need a warlock. Please, just come over. He's unconscious now, the Silent Brothers gave him something, but he won't be for long and whatever it is isn't getting any better."
"It's going to cost you," Magnus says, and tries to tell himself that the unsettling feeling in his chest will go away, that he'll fix it, that everything will be fine. But maybe it won't be.
"That's fine."
When Magnus gets to the Institute, a little more hurriedly than he'd like to admit, he's surprised to see the state of the Alec unconscious in the infirmary, unharmed, a white sheet pullet up to his neck. His skin is a bit paler than usual, maybe with a hint of green, and there are dark bags under his eyes, but other than that... he just looks like the Alec Magnus remembers. Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the insecure shadowhunter that could light up a room with his laugh if he'd just let it show. The boyfriend who was afraid to try, wrapped up in a fantasy everyone knew he couldn't stay in. The shadowhunter he helped grow as a person, the man who betrayed him in one of the worst ways possible.
Maryse is at Alec's bedside, a Silent Brother by her side as they talk in their heads, undoubtedly about the person stretched out in front of them.
"Why am I here? He looks just fine, just a bit tired." Magnus comments rudely, with a twist in his gut, snapping them out of whatever conversation as intense gazes locked on a breathing body.
"He's... ill." Maryse says, not turning to face him.
"Cough syrup usually works." The warlock suggests, shrugging. "I don't see why you can't use a rune."
Maryse pulls down the sheet, revealing Alec's scarred, pale chest, light translucent rune marks... splotched and torn, destroyed. As if someone had taken a match to them. Marred. It's a shame, too. They used to be so beautiful, a shine for the eye when his body was covered in sweat as he labored for breath, as he was distracted in one of the more pleasurable ways.
"His organs aren't working. The tissue in them is breaking off, creating massive bleeding and holes as a new organ is created. We don't know what it is. We're hoping that you could keep the tissue regenerating while we figure out what to do about it." Maryse spoke slowly, and it became apparent to Magnus the strain of trying to keep herself together was adding an odd twinge to her speech, a stress he couldn't really describe.
"When?"
"As soon as possible. I don't know how long this has been going on for, just... help him. The only reason he can't feel the ripping right now is because the Brother gave him something."
"Why don't I try to remove it? Magic can do things that shadowhunters can't." It's worth a shot. If he does this job, it's unlikely that it'll be a short little thing. It could last months, however long until they figure out what to do, and tissue regeneration isn't easy business, not at a constant rate anyway.
It could be dangerous.
The Silent Brother interjects, forcing words into his skull. He hates that. Alec isn't too fond of it, either... But now's not the time for reminiscent thoughts.
Magnus nods. "I'll be careful. If you'll just leave the room, I'll try and work my magic?"
Their answer comes in their exit, and Magnus sighs, pulling the sheet completely off Alec, revealing scruffy dark jeans and bare feet, devoid even of the mismatched gray socks that he usually has. He puts his hand on Alec's chest, sending a trickle of magic through his nervous system, through his bloodstream, trying to figure out what needs fixing and what doesn't belong.
It doesn't take him long to find the invasive organ. It's small, just bigger than the button on his jeans, and nestled down between some very important parts of the digestive system. It's under the large intestine, surrounded by a mangled and dying small intestine. Nearly all the organs along the digestive system are losing cells, giving them to the invader, and it seems to be rotting the organs as it breaks them down to reform itself. That's got to have hurt, and to think, if he'd been called much later Alec might be dead.
Sighing, Magnus focuses some of his magic on repairing the damages, then uses the extension of himself that makes him a warlock to prod around the stubborn organ, tumor, whatever it is, seeing if it'll move. But it seems it's rooted itself quite thoroughly in the small intestine, with what feels like webs tracing to organs it's draining life from. It's like a vampire organ, or something. It's certainly not natural, and it's not something Magnus has ever seen before. Which is quite impressive, if you hide away how annoying and potentially dangerous is could turn out to be. Maybe it'll be simple; just because Magnus didn't know about it before now doesn't mean it has to be insanely difficult. Every plague started out as a cold, easy to cure, but finally turning deadly... Or something. Well. Every plague didn't start out as a cold, not that he cares or anything.
He sends a shock of magic directly to the leech, a spark of blue moving through Alec before it's absorbed by the parasite. Curious, he sends another bolt, and it disappears into the tumor like it's a black hole. Sending magic directly to it is useless for everything, it seems. He'll have to see if he can snip away the chords suspending the unnamed thing to take it out.
Magnus places his hand over Alec's lower-abdomen, his head in a similar spot as his eyebrows knit together in concentration. Slowly, carefully, he send destructive magic into his ex-boyfriend, attempting to cut away the strings that are sucking life from the shadowhunter. A barrier of resistance reaches Magnus, a shield against his magic, something he can't destroy in such a delicate space as Alec's body. It's not going anywhere, which means Magnus isn't, either.
Ah, fuck.
"What do you mean, he has to be with you?" Maryse demands, her expression making clear her thoughts on the matter.
Magnus sighs, exasperated. "Spells on the mind and body are completely different. It's not like with Clary, he can't just come back every two years to make sure his tissue-regenerating abilities don't fade. If you keep him away from me, away from a constant source of magic, the spell won't work. You can use a supply I give every now and then for the mind and perceptions, but this is physical, this is... real, and it's can't be separated from the source of the magic that's keeping him alive, which is me, for long or it'll go away. Trust me, I don't care for this situation at all, but if I'm getting paid... This is my job, after all."
Maryse frowns. "I don't suppose you'd be open to living here?"
Magnus chuckles, shaking his head. "I do have other clients, you know, some of which would not appreciate coming to see all you lovely shadowhunters. They'll be unnerved enough with Alec in my apartment."
Maryse rubs at her temple. "Fine. When he wakes up, take him back to his apartment to get his things. Jace and Isabelle might stop by today or tomorrow. They've been worried."
"His apartment?" Magnus asks, slightly confused. The last time he checked, Alec lived at the institute... It was only a couple, maybe three, weeks ago.
Maryse nods. "He moved out. Didn't want to be here. Actually, he didn't much say why… He might have just been hiding this. Ask him if he knows anything about it when he wakes up, will you?"
Magnus nods.
"We should discuss payment."
When Alec wakes up, he's surprised that his senses aren't nonexistent but there's no painful stinging in his stomach. It's odd… he feels… normalish. Not sick. Maybe they found a cure. Removed the tumor, or whatever. He'd be happy to have it gone and done with.
His eyes open to the ceiling, and there's a slight breath beside him. He turns his head towards it, and freezes when he sees golden cat eyes staring back.
"Morning, sunshine. Or, night, seeing as it's no longer really daylight hours."
"What..." Why is Magnus here? Is he imagining it?
"I've been called in to deal with that lovely little menace you've got inside you. It's caused quite some trouble."
Alec swallows, his throat dry, eyes averted from the warlock he's pretty sure he still loves."Ah."
Just that syllable is difficult, and a silence that doesn't suit the glitter fest of a warlock stretches on.
Glancing up, Alec realizes that Magnus isn't a glitter bomb today. His hair has hardly any gel, and his make up is limited. His clothes aren't quiet as extravagant, either.
"Why don't you get dressed, so you can pick up all of your things from your apartment?" Magnus suggests, looking at the pale face of the teen.
"Why?"
"You're living with me until this is sorted. Your tissue won't regenerate if I'm not around."
It's almost like a train filled with every emotion hits him, but he just nods slowly, pulling on the socks and boots he finds a the end of his bed. Realizing he doesn't have a shirt he starts his search for one, and soon enough the two of them are leaving the institute for Alec's apartment, a swirl of unpleasantness lingering resolutely in their bodies.
Alec feels dizzy as he reaches the top of the stairs, a nausea he can't shake as the halls dance in front of him. He knows what's coming, and pulls out his keys, trying to rush for the door as he hears Magnus behind him complaining about the stairs, like Jace did. And yet they claim not to be similar... But it hardly matters, because Alec's finally gotten the door open, and he can finally get to the toilet. He can already feel the vomit creeping up his throat, and he lets it as he shoves his head in front of the toilet. A few seconds later he can feel Magnus's presence behind him, watching him as he vomits.
After he's done, Alec flushes the toilet and washes his teeth, not feeling as ill when the disgusting taste of his own insides are replaced by the mint flavor of his tooth paste.
"Does this happen often?" Magnus asks, leaning on the door frame.
Alec nods, not wanting to speak to Magnus. He doesn't want to say something he'll regret, so he just keeps everything on a simmer because he can. He doesn't feel as ill, as awful as he has the last two weeks. All he needed was Magnus, like something out of one of the fairy tales he studied in his classes with Jace and Isabelle.
Alec sighs, wanting more than anything to have to go put his things in one of the guest rooms. But he can't, because Magnus had zapped them away along with Alec's hopes of maybe being left alone to think about everything that's happened. Instead they're both in the living room, Magnus in a plush armchair and Alec in the corner of the couch. They have to talk. Neither want to, but they have to. It'll help Alec get better, and thus gone sooner and less stress on both of their minds.
"Any other symptoms besides puking?" Magnus asks, gripping a cup of steaming tea. Doesn't matter if it's late; he's going to be up all night anyway, plagued by riddled thoughts and uncertainties, questions about what he can do to help and how this even happened in the first place.
"No." Being horribly depressed doesn't count, does it? "Actually, I fainted."
Magnus's eyes knit together. "When?"
"A few days ago the first time. I went to a mundie hospital, my neighbor called them or something... That's when the runes burned away. When I went to the institute it happened again, while Maryse was yelling at me." One of Alec's longest speeches.
"When did it start?"
"A bit after you... after we broke up."
"Hm. And emotionally?" Why, why did Magnus have to ask?
Alec gives a weak smile. "As well as can be expected, I guess."
He gets up, leaving to the room he automatically assumes his stuff will be in. He's right, of course, to walk into the place of baby blue walls and a desk he can remember doing things with Magnus on. Suddenly, at a loss for breath, Alec sits down on the bed and pulls his hands over his eyes. He's begun to cry.
How pathetic.
The next morning Alec doesn't wake up and think, like any idiot in a story, that he's still with Magnus and things are good. He doesn't lack a memory of the last weeks, and he makes his way hesitantly to the kitchen, fully dressed. He doesn't want to seem too comfortable around Magnus, because he's not anymore. He doubts that things could ever be the same as they were before fighting and stupidity and trust got in their way.
He's glad he got dressed, though,when he walks through the living room (to get to the kitchen) and there's a werewolf there, telling the High Warlock of Brooklyn about how he needs this vampire cursed because of some problem Alec doubts Magnus even cares about. As he makes his way into the kitchen, awkwardly nodding at both werewolf and warlock, he can still hear their conversation as he helps himself to the coffee machine.
He hears Magnus use pretty words and logic to convince the werewolf against the curse, and Alec feels a bit proud of Magnus. He smiles a bit, the smile you get when you're stuck in a little bubble. He stops smiling, however, when the bubble is popped and he knows he has no reason to smile, to feel proud. He and Magnus are hardly speaking. He's just a job for the warlock, like the whining werewolf on the couch next to where Alec was sitting last night. Nothing more, not now and never again.
But he misses it. He misses warmth in his chest that some people call happiness, he misses moods that don't turn and churn like a restless ocean. He misses the kisses, enjoying the only manufactured smell that doesn't make him want to vomit, the making up for stupid fights. Hell, he even misses those fights. But he has to let go. He has to. Soon, he'll be better. His heart won't hurt, and whatever is stealing his life away will be gone. He'll live his life as a shadowhunter, and he might be entirely alone.
But that's probably just what's meant for any child of the angels that dares to like the same sex. Like so many things, it can't be helped.
It's been a week, and Alec's not very comfortable. It's not just this odd sense of something foreign, likely Magnus's magic, washing over him, either.
Jace and Isabelle have been by, Isabelle more than once, and they're getting along. Isabelle doesn't wear any perfume when she comes over, as Alec told her it made him ill, and they're relationship is a bit different from before. Isabelle is forgiving, but slightly guarded, in a way Alec suspects isn't completely conscious. She tells him about what's happening outside of the apartment, as he hasn't yet left because Magnus hasn't. She doesn't talk too much about Simon, though sometimes she does, but she tells him that the Silent Brothers don't know what's wrong with him, even with the lis of symptoms Magnus gave them. They're going to be visiting, soon. But Jace is still on fire and that's also still a problem holding them up.
When Jace stops by, he just tells Alec that things won't go to the ducks. An odd way of expressing his feelings, but that's apparently Jace for you. Well, Jace is mostly for Clary, something Alec cares less about now than he did at the beginning. As long as she doesn't get him killed.
"How are you?" Magnus asks, and Alec looks up over the top of the book he found in Magnus's library. The only thing that's kept him anywhere close to sane over the past few days. Angel, he's so happy that books exist. And that Magnus seems to like some of them that aren't written in a script he can't read.
"Fine," Alec mutters, going back to his book. He doesn't want to talk to Magnus, he really doesn't.
Magnus nods, but he's invisible to Alec. "Vomiting much?
"Only every day," Alec says, hardly friendly at all. He's just pissed right now. Unbelievable, horribly pissed. Because Magnus is an asshole. Because he's been depressed, and now he's stuck to the person who broke his bruised heart into little globs of flesh. Magnus is annoying. He should just go away, leave Alec alone.
"No need to be snippy."
It's the last straw. Whatever berries filled Alec's basket of patience are gone, lost in a blind rage.
"No need to be snippy?" Alec asks, then slams the book down on the table. "NO NEED TO BE FUCKING SNIPPY? I hate being here, I hate being around you now! It just reminds me of what I screwed up, of what I lost. Of course I'm going to be fucking snippy!"
Magnus is silent for a moment, then he speaks, his voice cold.. "It's not easy for me, either. I'm doing this to get paid. You're doing it because you just don't want to die."
Alec bursts into tears, falling to the ground. "Maybe I don't want to be alive any more."
Hardly even giving him a second to react, Alec's insides are unforgiving as they attempt to rid themselves of the burden that is Alec by forcing themselves up his throat. he hardly makes it to the bathroom before he's puking again. He's crying, and his stomach contents are expelling themselves and it's nothing if not a fucking mess. Alec's spent, emotionally, and all he wants to do is curl into a ball and die when he sees Magnus at the door, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed.
"Have your emotions been unstable lately?"
"I don't know what you're fucking talking about." Alec says, hardly in the mood for this.
Magnus sighs. "You do realize that you just went from complacent, to screaming, to bawling in about a minute, right?"
"Hardly your business." Alec spits, putting toothpaste on his brush.
"It is my business. It could be a symptom." Magnus is annoyed, and trying not to be hurt, because it might not even be entirely Alec's fault, and he has to wait two minutes for an answer because Alec's got the brush in his mouth and is apparently very determined to scrub away his enamel.
"Considering the circumstances, my emotions have been fine."
"Really?"
Alec sighs. "Just leave me alone, will you? I doubt depression and bitterness are symptoms of anything serious."
Magnus raises an eyebrow. "Bitter and depressed... Hurt your family and not really felt bad about it?"
Alec freezes, before exiting the bathroom. "I said it's none of your business," He whispers as he passes his sparkly ex-boyfriend.
Magnus sighs once he's gone. Why does everything have to be so fucking difficult?
Magnus wonders if his magic is being used much on Alec's body. It's been a month, and he's curious about it. He's still puking, and his moods are shifting so dramatically it's almost like he's a teenager going through puberty (but worse). Admittedly, testing it by removing the magic altogether isn't the best idea. But he'll be able to regenerate him if problems arise, and likely they won't be immediate. He'll just stop the cells' regeneration and if they do go back to eating away at Alec, it should be gradual, like it was before Magnus had a part in everything.
No harm, no foul. He doesn't tell the shadowhunter what he's about to do, he just does it. One moment Magnus is watching Alec, from the kitchen and out of sight, reading a book, the next the book is dropped as the spell is unwoven and Alec starts to pant.
His breath comes in sharp pants, and there's an odd gushing sound coming from him. The teen is too surprised to bite back the scream that ripples through him, and falls off the couch and onto the soft carpet. Magnus rushes over, alarmed at what his charge's reaction is, and takes one look at Alec's face, his mouth dripping with blood, before he puts his head to Alec's stomach and pushes his magic through.
It's wrong, though. In those few seconds, Alec's insides have been screwed up somehow. The terrorist of stolen cells is attached to his digestive tract, and there are giant chunks around the now larger than before tumor, or whatever it is.
Alec's unconscious, so Magnus carries him to the guest bedroom, promising himself to never try that again.