What the ever living fuck had just happened? My Howl had just rejected me? After I brought her back to the Den to right the wrong that had been done to her two weeks ago? How the hell had that happened?
The silence in the room was absolute, half the eyes on me, wondering what I was going to do; the other half on the back of my Howl as she walked toward the doors to leave the Den.
At the very least, I was her Alpha, and that should have prevented her defiance, but the fact that she was my Destined One, my fucking Howl, should have kept her glued to my side. Possibly looking up at me adoringly, but I could wait for that as long as she stayed by my side for the time being.
Instead, I watched her walking away from me, that soft, rounded ass twitching enticingly as she stalked out the doors. Once she was gone, the other half of the pack's eyes turned to me, so now every single member was silently questioning me: what's your next move, Alpha?
Not sure why they were treating this like some kind of damn soap opera, but wolves were a fucking nosy bunch who lived for drama and gossip.
My wolf was ready and raring to go because Neera had broken rule number one when dealing with a predator: never turn your back on one. I saw the door close behind her, still stunned that she'd rejected me in front of the pack. In three strides I was running after her -- shifting the second I was outside the doors -- and my wolf was after her immediately, following her delicious scent that made him want to give her his belly.
Unbelievable. I was Alpha -- I didn't roll on my back for anyone, yet here my wolf was ready to give her his belly. Weak bastard. But fuck! She smelled so good.
She'd obviously shifted the second she'd walked outside the Den and taken off, and although she was out of sight, I could track her easily. Neera's wolf was a pretty little fur-girl, but she was tiny compared to my beast, and my legs ate up the distance between us, following her scent -- god, that fucking scent was doing things to me -- and after a couple of minutes, I had her in my sight.
Her head turned to gauge the distance and she took off, darting for some bushes that she could get through much more easily than I could, but could still scratch her up and tear at her fur and skin.
Unacceptable.
With a burst of power, I hit her from behind, shifting in a split second to wrap my arms around her little wolf, keeping her safe while I rolled us to a stop.
We ended up with me on my back -- damned if my belly wasn't exposed, after all -- and her wolf snapped her jaws right in my face, making me laugh.
"No, Neera," I reprimanded her gently, my fingers rubbing her neck.
She did it again, though, three more times in fact, and I was roaring with laughter, feeling free for the first time in years. How had I rejected her? There was no way. Just no way I could have done that. Everything about her called to me, called to my wolf, drew us to her.
Then she lunged for my throat, holding it firmly in her jaws, taking me completely by surprise with that bold and foolish action.
I'm in love, my wolf sighed to me. Useless bastard.
"You need to let go," I told her gently but firmly. "I can't allow your fur-girl to get away with much more, Neera."
Instead of listening to me, she bit down a little harder, this time her teeth sinking into my neck enough to draw a little blood.
Could she be any more perfect?
My wolf needed to shut the fuck up. It was one thing being indulgent of your Destined One; it was another thing entirely to let her be in a position that allowed her to rip your throat out -- that could definitely fuck with your relationship and any chance of future happiness if one of you was, say, dead.
I could shift, and the size of my neck would automatically make her loosen her grip on me, but I wanted to let this play out, knowing I could stop her in a second if I needed to. But most of all, I wanted to see how far she'd go, how long we'd be at this standoff, how this would end. Would she end it, or would I? I wanted her to stop it; I wanted her to submit to me.
But as usual, lately, the Forces were going to fuck with me.
We'd stayed like that for ten fucking minutes, me stroking her fur, trying to see if I could relax her enough to get her to let go.
"You're so beautiful, Neera. Your fur-girl is gorgeous. You're both pretty girls," I crooned to her.
Life lesson -- I should have left it at that. But did I? No. Of course not. She may be my Howl, my Destined One, but there was still a lot I needed to learn about my Neera.
"You need to shift, so I can fuck you and we can Take the Blood," I said softly. Enticingly, I thought.
She thought differently. With a growl, she tried to deepen the bite, and I shifted so fast her jaws flew off my throat. She shifted back to Neera, and I did the same, pinning her to the ground on her stomach, my hard cock pressing against her ass.
There is no position a shifter loves more, and her defiance, her holding my throat in her jaws? Foreplay.
"Neera," I started to say, my voice pitched to soothe her.
"No," she told me, interrupting whatever I had been about to say. She was so vulnerable now, completely at my mercy, and still she had the strength, the guts, to tell me no. "Get off me, Night. Get off me."
She's fucking awesome, my wolf howled in approval.
"I will," I promised, "but just know if you try to run, I will catch you, and I will make sure you won't run from me again. When I get off of you, I want you to sit up and face me so we can talk."
Never had I wanted to use an Alpha Decree on someone so badly, but I refused to do that to her. My father had raised me to believe that the power I held should never be misused or overused, and above all should never be used on my Destined One.
"If you can only rule and command obedience with Decrees, you aren't worth the title of Alpha," he'd told me many times. He'd been a great Alpha, and his legacy was one I hoped to live up to and to one day pass on to my son who would be born to rule the pack.
I'd given Neera fair warning of what I wanted to happen and what the consequences would be if she chose not to listen, so what happened next was all up to her. I'd always known her to be a typical gamma wolf -- mild, obedient, never making waves, ready to listen to me just because I was her Alpha. I wasn't exactly sure what had happened to that Neera -- had my rejection of her created an entirely new Neera? -- but my wolf loved the new version of her that we'd never seen before.
She sure as shit was exhibiting Howl tendencies now. Growing up, the only one in the pack not afraid of my father was my mother. In fact, she ruled him. Never in public, but at home, she gave him her opinion and told him in no uncertain terms when he'd been an idiot. Often. And my father listened to her and worked to regain her favor, her smile. He'd often shift to wolf and bare his belly to her in apology and she'd stand over him, arms crossed, looking down at this ridiculously huge beast of a wolf whose tongue was hanging out, his wolf-eyes pleading as he whined forgive me. Then she would roll her eyes, huff out her exasperation and bend down to rub his belly. Immediately, he'd shift back, grab her hand and disappear into their bedroom to read books. Yes. Read books and nothing more. That's what I always told myself because...fucking gross. Just not going there. Wolves saw sex all the time, it happened in public and no one thought anything of it...unless it was your parents.
I suspected, but wasn't quite ready to admit, that Neera would be my only weakness just like my mother was my father's. I'd command the pack, and she would command me.
As I slowly removed my weight from Neera, I sat back on the grass and watched to see what she would do. For a moment or two, she remained on her stomach, then she sat up and turned to face me, her face varying shades of pissed off.
"Good girl," I praised her.
Her eyes narrowed on me.
"Now, let's start with what happened in the Den today. Why did you reject me when I decided to take you as my Howl?"
I went over the words in my head and found not one thing wrong with what I'd said.
I say this now in front of you as my witnesses, Neera Karis is my Howl. I accept her as my Destined One, as the Howl sent to me by the Forces in their wisdom.
"Are you fucking serious?" she demanded. "You wonder how I could reject you? You rejected me first! You stood there right in front of every single member of our pack and rejected me as your Destined One, as your Howl, even though the evidence was staring you right in the face with our matching mate brands. And then, oh, and then! You proceeded to fuck Lindsay Morgan right in front of me. Since my humiliation wasn't quite complete, as if what you'd already done just wasn't enough, you made me a zeta! The lowest of the low in the pack! For no reason other than to be mean and humiliate me all the way into the dust."
"Well, I don't remember that. Any of it, other than what people told me. So let's move past that bullshit and focus on today. Once I was ready to announce you as my Howl --"
"Bullshit?"
Her voice was suddenly very growly and she was eyeing my throat again.
"Focus on the now, Neera, not on what happened. That's the past. We need to work this out in the now. It's hurting the pack if the Alpha and his Howl are at odds."
"And why are we at odds? Because of what you did to me! That's why we're at odds! You never even addressed it with me, you just marched your happy ass to the Den, dragging me along once again -- but at least your girlfriend wasn't there this time! -- and without even telling me your plans, without an apology or an explanation as to what happened on my birthday, which, for the record, was the shittiest birthday ever, and you thought I was going to fall all over myself when you suddenly did a complete turnaround and accepted me as your Howl? Are you fucking insane?"
This having to explain myself was going to take some getting used to, but since Neera was my Howl, I could adapt. Going from not having to justify yourself to anyone to having to explain yourself to your Howl was going to be an adjustment. She just needed to be patient with me and show me some understanding.
I breathed out a huge lungful of air and stared at Neera. "I'm sorry about what happened two weeks ago. I have no idea what happened to make me reject you and do all that other shit. I'm ready to accept you as my Howl."
She stared at me, anger still brewing in those eyes, clearly expecting...more?
"Oh! And I'm sorry your birthday was shitty. I'll buy you something nice to make up for it."
Neera surged to her feet, and I did, too, afraid she was going to bolt.
"That's it? That's my apology, my explanation for the most humiliating, excruciatingly painful day of my life? Not forgetting the extremely generous offer of buying me something nice to make up for the sheer hell you put me through?"
I looked at her for a minute, clearly lost. I was missing something here. I'd given her more explanation than I'd ever given in my life as Alpha, and frankly, since I didn't remember my actions in the Den that day, I wasn't sure what more she wanted.
"I'm not sure what more you want, but if you tell me, I'll give it to you."
"Oh my -- for fuck's sake, Night! I want you to leave me alone for tonight! Right now, I'm so pissed off, I want to tear your throat out and roast it over a fire while your bloody carcass gets torn apart by buzzards. In lieu of that, I just want to go back to my apartment and settle down so that tomorrow we can talk about this like rational people and I don't just sit there, watching your mouth move, while I think of all the ways I'd like to kill you slowly and painfully!"
Takeaway: she wanted to talk tomorrow. That was a start.
Yes! Progress!