Pre season testing, Bahrain, day 2.
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Hey, you." Lewis said as he approached the Red bull garage.
"Lewis! Hey." Lilia said, standing up to hug him.
"How are you?" He asked.
"I'm good. But how are you? I haven't seen you since.." She said, her voice trailing off.
"Yeah.. I'm okay. After taking time to clear my head.. I'm over it now. Hopefully this season I can get going again but the car is just so difficult." He said.
"Are you sure you're not sandbagging?" She asked with a smirk.
"Honestly, I promise we're not. What about you guys anyway- that isn't the red bull you were expecting surely?" He said.
"No.. no it wasn't. But I don't think the car was entirely to blame. There was a lot of oversteer that made it difficult but my head wasn't in it yesterday." She admitted.
"Ah. Yeah, I understand. Well, it's good thing you're not running today then. You have to be fully committed in that car, god knows what could happen if not.." He said.
"Yeah.. after my mistake yesterday I don't want to cause anything worse- for me or others on track." She said.
"That's the smart thing to do. Are you worried about anything in particular..?" He asked.
"I- .. I'm not worried as such. Just.. got a lot on my mind." She said.
"Yeah? Well, if you ever need someone to talk about it with I'm always around." He said.
She smiled. "I know. Thanks, Lew." She said.
A sharp cough interrupted their conversation. "Um, Lilia.." The Dutchman said.
She turned around. "Oh, Hi max. What's up?" She asked.
"I tried to keep him away for a while but he really needs to speak with you." Max said.
"Who?" She asked.
"Christian." He said.
She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Right.. great." She said, then turned back to Lewis.
"You better scram before he sees you. He'll launch an investigation on you- say that you're conspiring against red bull or stealing our car design." She said to Lewis, laughing.
Lewis chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose so. I'll see you soon, then?" He said.
Lilia nodded. "Sure." She said.
"And remember what I said, okay?" He said.
"I will. Bye, Lew." She said.
"See ya, Lils." He said before he got back on his scooter and rode off back to the Mercedes garage.
"Lew? Lils?" Max said, pulling a face.
"Yeah... what?" Lilia said, frowning.
"It's not smart to get friendly with the opposition." Max said.
"Lewis and I have been friends for, like, three years now. Doesn't mean I go easy on him on track." She said.
"Just friends, yeah?" He said.
"Uh.. yes? Can't we be?" She said.
"I don't know, just the way he looks at you.." he said.
"Jealous?" She retorted.
"No. I just don't think it's smart to be like that with another driver." He said.
"How ironic." She muttered.
"What?" He said.
"Nothing, I better go find Christian." She said, removing herself from the situation.
She walked over to the pit wall, where Christian stood chatting to some of the strategists before the testing session began, a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Hi, Christian." Lilia said.
"Hi, Lilia. Is everything okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, all good. What did you want to speak with me about?" She asked.
Christian looked back at her blankly. ".. Nothing? Did you receive an email?" He said.
"No- Max just said you need to speak with me. I assume about yesterday?" She said.
"I.. haven't spoken to Max." He said.
Lilia frowned. "Oh.. right. Well.. um. Never mind then." She said.
"We'll have a team debrief after the three sessions, but not yet. Unless you wanted to ask me anything?" He said.
"Oh, no. I'm all okay- no issues really apart from oversteer but I already mentioned that on radio and we'll discuss it in the debrief.. thanks anyway, Christian." She said.
"No problem." He said.
She said goodbye and walked away, the fury rising in her more and more with every step she took.
"You lying bastard!" She shouted at Max as she stalked over to him.
Max, who still stood where she left him, jumped at the sound of her anger. "Wha-"
"No acting stupid. You know what I mean. You lied about Christian needing to speak to me." She said.
"I.. okay, I did." He said, avoiding her eyes.
"Are you going to offer me an explanation?" She said.
He looked at her and remained silent.
"Okay, well then I'll speak for you. You just don't want me to speak to Lewis." She said.
He nodded slightly.
"I'm not cutting off my friendship with someone who has really supported me in my career and respects me. He's a nice man. Maybe if you spoke to him too you'd see." She said.
"We're rivals, Lilia." Max said.
"Off track and on track are two different things." Lilia said.
"No, but they're not are they? And you're just more likely to get emotionally involved-"
"Excuse me?" She snapped. "More likely why? Because I'm a woman? Brilliant. Thank you, Max. This is exactly why I'm friends with Lewis because he doesn't spout a load of bullshit-"
"Are you blind, Lilia? He wants you to believe that but then he'll ruin you-"
"You are projecting!" She yelled. Max's body became rigid. He couldn't exactly deny it.
"I think I'll give you some time to get your thoughts in order." She said. And with that, she chose to do the same and left the track, heading back to her hotel room.
Max cursed at his own stupidity as he watched Lilia storm off. But then, almost instinctively, he began to run after her.
"Lilia!" He called out, but she kept walking, her pace quickening.
"Lilia!" He yelled, causing the previously tough woman to shrink back to nothing but a scared girl as she jumped in shock, coming to a standstill, but remaining with her back to Max. He noticed her movement and walked closer to her. He extended his hand to touch her arm, only gently, but she flinched violently and whipped around to look him in the eyes; immediately he saw the fear in hers.
"Lilia.." He said, softly this time.
"No.." She said.
"Let me talk to you. Please?" He said. She looked at him, her head cocked to the side- she shook it 'no' but sighed, and agreed.
".. Fine." She said.
Max lead her back through the paddock, to the red bull hospitality and through a cafe that would be filled with team bosses and other people in the morning, but now they had all cleared off. They both needed the privacy. It would be no good for someone to catch word of an argument between two teammates. So they continued upstairs to an empty room, perhaps used for meetings, but again nobody was around. Lilia's previous anger turned into anxiety now. She felt her palms become sweaty and her heart beat much faster- it was almost as if she felt like she couldn't trust Max in this moment, yet, at the same time, she knew full well that she could.
But she chose to put up all of her walls- she had to protect herself. "So, go on, what do you want then?" She asked coldly.
"I just want to talk." He said, perching on a close by table.
"Talk then. No one's stopping you." She said.
".. You are, actually." He said.
She frowned. "I'm telling you to talk." She said.
"But then you're going to get defensive, pick a fight and yell at me.." He said.
"I have every right to get defensive, don't you think?" She said.
"Yes. You do, and.. I'm sorry. Really, I am." He said. Again, she could easily pick out his genuineness and even a hint of guilt.
"Okay.. it's okay." She said quietly.
"I'll admit it. Maybe I am a bit jealous of your friendship with Lewis. And I know I have no right to be.. and it was wrong to do what I did just now." He said,
She nodded. "I appreciate that you can own up to your mistakes.." she said.
"And.. I think you were right. Maybe I am projecting. I just- what the hell are we, Lilia?" He asked. She lifted her shoulders and thought of what she could possibly say. After all, she hadn't thought he even cared about her at all.
"I.. I don't know, Max.. I don't.." Was all she could come up with.
"I need to know, Lilia, because I haven't been able to get you off my mind for the past four months.." He admitted.
A sigh of relief escaped her lips at his confession. "Really?" She wanted to confirm it.
"Yes." He said.
"Well, neither have I." She said. He stood up straight away; watching her, as if he was waiting for the okay. As she looked back at him, a smile smile appeared on her mouth. He walked over to her, pulling her into his embrace and finding her lips with the same ease he did that night in Abu Dhabi.
"I thought you forgot.." She spoke in almost a whisper.
"How could I ever forget about you?" Max said.
"You did kind of ignore me." Lilia pointed out.
"I know, and god, I'm so sorry. There was a reason.. a real reason. I have a lot more story to tell you." Max said, chuckling nervously.
"Oh, is it bad? should I prepare myself?" She questioned.
"Probably. And.. please don't kill me."
"What did you do?"
"I accidentally told my dad everything." He said. Her eyes widened and her face started to turn pink.
"Oh.. my god. How?!" She exclaimed.
"I was throwing up.. obviously I had far too much to drink. And I guess.. I just blurted it out." He said. She rubbed her eyes, trying extremely hard to control her embarrassment.
"And what did he say?" She asked.
"Well he laughed at first. Thought I was joking or just talking nonsense, but then he put two and two together from earlier in the night and realised I was serious. He yelled at me, called me a fucking idiot and told me never to speak to you again. Said I would ruin my career, and it would be humiliating if the media ever found out about this." He said.
"You know.. he could be right about some of that." She said.
"Yeah. Maybe.." He said with a tone of disappointment.
"There's something else-" He started.
"Uhm, I think you should probably get back to the garage. Testing and all.." She interrupted.
"Oh, .. right.. yeah. You're right." He said. Lilia smiled awkwardly, her attention directed towards the floor as she avoided Max's eyes.
She knew that if she looked at him she'd give in; forget her principles and just lose herself to him. She hated not being in control. And while he made her feel happy and free, she was terrified to allow herself to feel those feelings.
"I'll, uhm, see you later?" He said.
"Sure." She said.
"Okay.. bye." He said before he reluctantly left.
As the door closed behind him, she sighed.
Somehow she had managed to push away one of the very few people that might have truly cared about her.
***
On the other side of the door, Max's POV.
She just shut me out. How am I supposed to do this if we can't even speak? What am I even saying.. we're not together. And we can't be..
But if she had just let me explain to her..
He sighed in frustration
Now she's going to find out I'm engaged through some random article.
[talk about a cliff hanger.. ]
[If anyone is confused, Max and Kelly are in a PR relationship. (Mentioned briefly in part 2 or 3 I believe) Their parents are friends and basically told them they have to date because it looks good. Jos found out about Max and Lilia's kiss, and he did a lot more than what Max said in this part. (I might do a sort of 'flashback' to Jos' reaction to fill in the gaps.) and so as a result Jos forced Max and Kelly into engagement.
Also, apologies if it's annoying that some of these parts are short my brain just works weirdly and I feel the need to split up large chunks, especially conversations, into smaller parts as it feels more organised for me lol]