This is the first day school in my new school. I decided to don't use so much internet now and I didn't want to contact my friends not because i didn't remember them. I just want to focus my life alone and piece of mind.
My cousin brother was agree with me I do part time job for my save the money when I'm enter in college.
This the last semester of my senior high school so I decided to focus. When my class done I go in the convenience store to be a casher just for 8 hours.
Wala na akong oras para magliwaliw dahil pagkagaling ko sa school deritsyo sa pinagtratrabahunan ko.So hindi na din masama iyon.
"Leigh did you had lunch."
"No"
" Okay do you want to came with us?" Jane invite me.
"No thanks Jane. Susunod nalang ako." I told her and smile.
She just nodded and smile back to me and go. Because I'm still bugdet my money.
I decided to go outside and walk alone. But I notice the one girl alone looking at me. But I just ignore her and she just continue walking at yumuko.
Weird!
They have so many students in canteen. As usual hindi naman mawawala ubos na ang oras mo sa kakapila wala kaparin pagkain.
Subrang ingay ng tatlong babae sa likod ko pero hindi ko nalang pinansin.
"Saji what food you going to buy."
Rinig kong tugon ng babae sa likod at kinakausap ang babae sa harap nya I know she's tall compare to my height.
"Why? When I buy food you going to buy too."
"Yes!"
"C'mon tyra haha! You so gago we already senior high school hanggang ngayon ba naman."
Hindi ko nalang pinakinggan ang sinabi ng mga babae dahil sa subrang ingay sa loob ng canteen dahil sa mga singawan.
I decided to go out and don't buy a food dahil ubos na ang pasensya kakahintay.
I decided to go back at room and sleep for the meantime habang hindi pa time.
Binuksan ko ang cellphone ko ang naisipan kong buksan ang Facebook and Instagram pero naka turn off ako matagal na and no updates.
My profile picture already old. But I don't want to change hindi naman importante.
Sabina:
Ghoster! Baka gusto mo pagparamdam.
Message nya sa messenger ko at Instagram. Umiling nalang ako dahil doon. I'm not ghoster.
When I scroll I see khalix account and new post this day it's already 2 hours ago so it's new.
He's picture and he's classmate I think and I see my cousin in the picture.
Wow! Closeness.
I just rolled my eyes pero hindi ko mapigilan ang pindutin ang account nya at tingnan ang mga iba nya pang post.
Wala naman masama! Titingnan lang naman.
Marami pala syang post these few days. I didn't see because madalang akong bumukas ng account. Natulala nalang ako ng makita ko ang post nya noong araw na nag message ako.
I felt stupid! That an old cow eat young grass. 😐
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Napakunot ang noo ko dahil doon. I decided to open the comments so many people commented in the post.
Jay: desurv🤣
Fate: wait for the right time😜
Kian: 🥲
Hindi ko na natuloy ang pagbabasa dahil pumasok na ang mga kaklase ko at kasabay noon ang aming guro sa calculus.
I didn't to open my bag and put my phone inside.
Hindi ko masyadong maintindihan ang sinasabi ng guro sa unahan dahil kanina pa ako nag iisip sa pinost nya doon.
That an old cow eat young grass?
So means in the comments I didn't understand they saying because I think it's deep meaning of it dahil ganun nalang ang mga comment ng netizen dahil doon lalo na si kuya napa comment.
Nauna akong lumbas ng classroom pagkatapos ng klase it's already 4:30 pm and kailan ko pa pumunta sa trabaho ko. I receive a message to my mom but I just ignore it. I didn't want to communicate with them. I'm still healing I want to move on everything about before.
But I know myself that I love my parents hindi ako galit at kahit kailan hindi ako magtatanim ng galit.
I just want to do it for myself. Gusto ko itaguyod ang pangarap ko sa sarili kong mga paa. Alam kong kaya hindi ako uuwi ng bahay ng walang license for being nurse.
I want myself to be first not the second and not in option.
Nakaupo habang naghihintay ng customer so I decided to open again my phone and continue reading a comments in khalix post before. Pero wala akong makitang explanation doon. Napanguso ako ng makita ko ang picture na naka side view while talking the child girl while he's wearing a white gown and white uniform.
He's so handsome more! I think!
I zoom it and tinitigan ang buo nyang mukha at kumunot ang noo dahil subrang unfair lang akala ko papangit sya kapag nangyari iyon.
"Boyfriend mo ate!"
Dali dali kong tinakpan ang cellphone ko at tinaob ito.
"Tsismosa ka! Ano yang lang ang bibilhin mo?"
"Sungit mo naman. Nagtatanong lang ate. Ang gwapo-"
"Oo gwapo sya pero hindi ko sya boyfriend kasi binasted ko lakas ko no."
"Feeling mo."
Siraulong batang yun!
Nginiwian ko nalang sya ng tumingin pa sya sakin at dumila pa. Isip Bata!
Kaya binuksan ko nalang ang cellphone ko at nakita ko ang pagmumukha nya. Kaunti lang naman talaga ang gwapo nya hindi naman gaano.
I decided to save it and I put my phone down. Yun lang ang sinave ko dahil hindi ko bet ang iba nyang picture masyadong mahangin.
Umuwi ako ng 12: 40 am pero bukas naman ng gate so I locked the gate and basta lang pumasok sa loob at binuksan ang pinto hindi na masyadong umu-uwi si kuya dahil busy si kuya sa major nya. So ako lang dito minsan uuwi sya umaga na at kung uuwi man sya nasa harap nya ang laptop ang mga libro nya.
I decided to review some topics earlier because I know that I didn't listen because of that post.
Give a headache!
He's already have a girlfriend now?
Ako yung hindi nag paramdam at basta lang nag text ng ganun at I told myself that it's just attractions but I'm still thinking him and I can't get over to him until now.
Did I'm in denial!
Or I'm immature!
Nalilito ako. Ako dapat ang masya dito dahil doon. I'm the first do that desisyon ko yun at alam ko sa sarili ko na yun ang nararamdaman ko pero mukhang hindi ako sigurado ngayon.
I felt bad! I felt guilty or something else. Ang dami kong gustong isipin pero hindi ko alam kong anong uunahin.
Everything in my mind still have no conclusion and explanation it's still stock and not subtracting but adding.
I continue writing and understand the words and the situation in any problem and understand the formula.
I get high grade in this school year and I'm so proud of it. This is that I'm sure I deserve it. And I claim it.
"Morning leigh."
Tumango nalang ako dahil doon at pumasok sa loob ng classroom this the last week of school and next week starting for exam for this semester.
The school year was going to done!
I'm going to be college student and I'm excited it. I know that I will graduate and I get want I deserve.
Wala akong masyadong nakilala sa school na to dahil hindi ako masyadong nakipag closeness I always distance myself to some people pili lang.
Kung kakausapin I answer. Yun lang I want to leave this school for just normal student. Hindi famous hindi din lonely just I'm in the middle.
The teacher give review test for us. Pasalamat naman ako doon at mga kaklase ko kaya natawa nalang ako dahil ang unang subject namin sa exam was about calculus so kailan talaga ng utak sa umaga.
Hindi naman nag rereview ang iba kundi nag dadaldalan . Ako naman tumingin sa test paper at titingin sa bintana sa baba so kita ko ang labas at ang baba sa labas. Madaming istudyante ang naglalakad at alam kong mga freshman man iyon.
Napangiti nalang ako dahil noon when I was freshman I want to be a senior high school student already. Pero ngayon pa graduate na ako. Ang bilis ng panahon.
Mom:
When your graduation baby?
Natulala ako sa nabasa at napakagat ng labi kapag nakikita ko ang message ng nanay ko nanlalambot ako. I'm still weak ij my mom. Pinunasan ko kaagad ang luhang tumulo sa isang kong mata.
I decided to turn off the phone and put in my bad. I know it's rude to don't talk to your parents but I feel hurt when I see that. All the memories before bumabalik sa utak ko kaya I decided to distance. I will face my mom when I'm ready and hindi na takot ang puso ko at hindi na masakit.
It's already recess time so I decided to go down because I feel hungry at walang masyadong istudyante sa canteen.
Hindi na ako sumama sa kanila. I know that they have friends nakikisama lang ako. Pero I know that.
I miss my Bestfriends
Sabina and tiffany!
I have no update in tiffany until now. She's still not active in her social media and her phone number hindi na matawag pa.
I didn't know what happened. Alam kong may kasalan ako pero I know I'm just telling the truth she's my bestfriend but she choice to leave and treat me and sabina nothing to her.
But I'm not mad nagtatampo lang . Kahit sabihin nya she's okay huling message nya noong birthday ko pa.
"Isa pong tubig." Tugon ng babae sa harap ko at sunod na ako pagkatapos nya. "O-oh sorry miss."
Ngumiti nalang ako ng tipid dahil doon dahil natulak naman sya dahil sa siksikan na naman. Yumuko sya doon at deritsyo ang lakad.
"Ikaw?"
"Just one bottle soft drink and one sandwich."
I give the money and umalis agad. Akala ko makikita ko pa ang babae pero hindi na dahil mukhang naka-alis na.
I think she's already senior high school too. I see her uniform she's Accountancy Business Management I think.
Napangiwi nalang ako dahil naalala kong sya iyong kahapon. Mukha syang tahimik lang at laging takot sa tao.
Umupo ako sa upuan ko at tumingin sa paligid at sa baba ng bintana. Pero hindi ko inaasahan ng makita ko ulit ang babae pero may lalaking nasa harap nya.
This guy bullying that girl?
Napakunot ang noo ko ng makita ko na may kinuha ang lalaki sa bag at binigay sa babae. Natawa nalang ako habang nginunguya ang pagkain sa bibig ko ng makita ang binigay ng lalaki na sandwich and may may chocolate pa.
Bullying nga! Pag-ibig nga naman..
Umiling nalang ako doon at hinayaan na sila. I decided to drink my soft drink at open my phone again.
It's still 98% dahil hindi ko naman nagagamit. I open my Facebook and Instagram again to see khalix home page but still have no update. I think he's busy in school or something else.
Kumusta na kaya sya!
Naalala nya pa kaya ako?
Mukhang hindi na at base sa mga pictures nya mukhang masaya naman sya. Pero ako I can't still move on. Karma ko talaga to for being heartless.
I look Tiffany Facebook but still locked and private. What happened to her. I'm very worried. And she's not online because she's not turn off. And kapag nag search naman ako ng pangalan nya baka nag iba sya ng account pero ibang tao naman ang lumalabas at yung account nya.
Sabina was always calling me and text me walang mintis kung. At ang iba kong kaklase they messaging me pero madalang akong mag reply pero tipid lang.
Kuya:
I'm not going home again! When you done in work go home. And text me again or call me when you got home safely leigh.
Hindi na din ako nagreply pa dahil doon. Pati nasanay na si kuya sakin. Kaya hindi sya nangungulit pa sa kakatawag at kakatext sakin kapag hindi ako nag rereply. Pero nag tetext ako at tumatawag kapag nasa bahay na ako at labasan ko na sa school at kapag nasa work na ako.
"Okay class just remind you that the exam was on monday so I hope all was need to review and study. I know that you will make it so don't be nervous and just relax your mind and enjoy it don't be pleasure. Goodluck everyone." Teacher Ann our adviser. "Don't forget the schedule okay."
"Thank you ma'am. See you on Monday."
Naunang lumabas si ma'am at sumunod ang ibang lalaki sa labas.
"Leigh you can have fun with us we go in small restaurant." Tawag sakin ni khian habang nag aayus ng gamit nya.
"Yes leigh came with us it my family restaurant." Trixie.
I just smiled and nakatingin sakin si Trixie na nakangiti at hinihintay ang sagot ko tumango nalang ako at nakita ko pa ang pag kibot ng labi ni Trixie ng "yes"
"Hindi ba nakakahiya doon." Tugon ko natawa nalang si camela doon at umiling.
"Sus ako nga hindi nahihiya eh wala ng bayad ang pagpunta ko doon." Camela at natatawa pa.
Napangiwi naman si Trixie doon.
"Pano naman kapal ng mukha mo. natural na sayo yan." Trixie.
Natawa nalang ako doon at nagsimula na kaming maglakad palabas ng room.
"Hoy saji saan punta mo?"
"I go in La salle university." The tall girl said.
Hindi ko na narinig pa ang sinabi nya dahil doon dahil nalagpasan na naman sila.
"What food you want Leigh?"
"Me. Kahit ano naman."
"Kahit ano pano kung ilapag lahat ng sana menu." Khian
Natawa nalang ako dahil doon. Tinampal naman ni Trixie ang braso ni khian at naka akbay pa ito. Si camela na nakakapit na sa braso ko.
Natawa nalang ako dahil gaya ng dalawa ganun din sila. Mukhang matagal na din silang magkakasama.
"Baka tayo pumunta sa restaurant I want to buy fish ball first." Trixie well said.
"Me too." Khian.
Nauna na yung dalawa. At kami ni camela ang nahuli.
"Mas matagal silang magkakilalang dalawa. Nakilala ko sila noong grade 9 ako."
"Umm."
"Ikaw matagal ka na pumasok pero hindi parin namin masyadong close. Tahimik mo kasi eh?"
"Di mo sure!"
Natawa nalang sya doon at umiling.
"Kumakain ka ba ng street food?"
Natawa nalang ko doon kaya hinampas nya ang braso ko. Natawa nalang kaming dalawa.
"Libre mo ngayon khian." Trixie ng makarating kami sa tabi nila.
"Oo ngayon lang." Khian habang kumakain ng fishball na mainit init pa.
I didn't think so they eating that akala ko mga maarte tong anak mayaman na mga to pero mukhang parehas lang kami noon.
"Kumakain ka nito?" Trixie.
"HAHA paborito ko nga yan eh. Sampong piso po akin" Sabi ko
"Hindi halata HAHA! I bente mo na si gago ang babayad?" Trixie
" O-oo leigh 20 mo na." Khian.
"Mukhang masama loob mo hu-"
"Pano ang dami sayo. Sakanila 20 lang akin 10 sayo 40 grabe ka. Maghihirap ako sayo."
"Ulo mo." Trixie.
Nagsimula na kaming maglakad akala mo sasakyan kami sa van kanila dahil huminto yung van at kinausap si trixie at may sinabi sa driver. Mukhang alam ko na ang pinag-usapan nila dahil naglalakad kami ngayon.
"Maganda maglakad kapag ganitong oras pa lubog na Ang araw." Camela at tumango naman doon si trixie habang kumakain parin.
Ngumiti nalang ako dahil doon. Buti nalang wala akong pasok ngayon dahil bukas ang pasok ko umaga hanggang hapon.
"Malapit lang ba bahay nyo Leigh?" Tanong ni khian.
Humarap naman sakin ang dalawa. Naka line up kami sa kalsada habang bitbit ang mga bag at naka uniform pa.
"Malapit lang isang sakay lang dito."
"Ganun hatid ka namin kung ganun." Sabi ni khian at tumango tango naman si trixie doon.
"Oo be kasi subrang gabi na yub.". Camela.
"Kayo bahala." Sabi ko. Tuwang tuwa naman doon si trixie and camela at ngumiti lang si khian.
Nakarating kami sa restaurant na sinasabi na pag mamay-ari nila trixie.
Binati kami ng mga tauhan ng pumasok kami Lalo na kami. Mukhang Kilala na ng mga tao ang tatlo dahil hindi sila nagulat pero ng makita ako nabasa ko ang reaksyon nila bago bumati sakin.
"My dad go here earlier?"
"No ma'am."
"Okay then. Came on guys let's sit." Trixie.
Umupo naman ako pero si camela nakaupo na kanina pa. Mukhang sanay na sanay na sya.
"May gusto ka ba leigh sabihin mo lang. Yang dalawa hindi ko na tatanong kasi alam ko na yun."
"Teka lang." Kinuha ko ang menu at nagsimulang tingnan ng mga pagkain doon. Naluwa ang mata ko dahil sa presyo. Sanay ako sa ganitong mga presyo noon pero ngayon hindi ata.
"Don't worry about the bill it's not the problem we eat here was free so don't be nervous. Ako ang natatakot sayo baka ayaw mo ng Kumain dahil yan sa reaksyon mo." Natatawang ani ni Trixie.
"I can't decide eh."
"Okay I go for it." Trixie.
Kinausap nya na ang waiter sa tabi nya at madami syang pinagtuturo. Nakatingin tuloy ako sa paligid kita ko sa baba ang mga customer I think this table it's private dahil wala ng ibang customers pa dito. Nakita ko lang sila dahil sa glass ang digdig.
So elegant. Hindi naman ako sa ignorant but ito na naman ang unang araw ko ng pumunta ulit ako sa mga ganitong lugar.
Madaming hinanda hindi na ako nagulat dahil sa dami ba naman ng pinagtuturo nya kanina.
"Let's eat." Masaya nyang sambit.
"Anong course ang kukunin mo Leigh?" Trixie habang hinihiwa ang karne sa plato nya.
Nakakuha namin yung attention ng dalawa.
"BS Nursing."
Napa wow naman doon si camela at napangiti ako doon. Pero masaya ako.
"Wow great major. Sabi ko na nga ba eh haha." Trixie
"Yes maganda." Khian
"I decided majoring nursing since I was junior high school." I told them. Tumango tango naman sila doon.
"Yes maganda yun. It's really great course you know. Me I want in medicine too but I feel I can't do it I'm not good." Trixie.
"I'm not good either. Nursing course didn't use your good or not it's just say you just need to learn." I said.
Napangiti naman sila doon at pumalakpak si camela.
"Baka Leigh yan."
Natawa nalang kami sa reaction nya.
"Ikaw camela?" I ask.
Natawa naman yun dalawa kaya umirap si camela pero natawa din naman.
"I want culinary." Camela.
Napangiti ako doon dahil mukhang gusto nya making chef.
"I really want to be a chef in the courtship in the future. " Camela.
Tumango- tango naman sila doon at ako naman.
" So why you in Stem?" I ask.
Lalong natawa ang mga kaibigan nya pati na rin sya.
"Sumama lang ako sa kanila be." Tugon nya.
Lalo lang kami natawa doon at umiling natawa na din naman sya.
"What about you trix?"
"Me. I want a engineering so I choose civil engineering."
Napa wow naman ko dahil doon.
"My family support me and my family was a business minded but I didn't want to go in the business administration I want to take engineering. I thought they won't but they nothing to say they said do want to you"
Napangiti naman ako dahil doon. I want that too! You so lucky. I hope my parents too
"Me I take engineering too so why I'm in step-"
"Yes alam ko yan khian mag e- engineering kadin-"
Natawa naman doon si trixie dahil sa sinabi ni camela. Napaubo naman si khian doon at kinamot ang ulo.
"Gusto ko naman talaga ang engineering noon pa-"
"Kaya pala." Camela
"Well everyone have own decisions and choice in there life if you really want to go for it and do for it. If you take it will be good on you or you capable for it and paghihirapan mong abutin dahil alam kong gunisto mo at yun ang alam mong sarili mo do for it. For not regret in the future."
"Agree nurse Leigh."
Natawa nalang ako sa sinabi ni camela but I didn't why but any sarap sa makiramdam ng tawagin kang ganun. Subrang saya na hindi mo mapaliwanag.
I claim it !
"Where's school you go trix?" I ask again she just wiped here mouth in table napkin.
"I go in china to study engineering." Napatango naman ako doon dahil alam ko naman na may lahi syang Chinese dahil sa apeliyodo nya. "Not my parents didn't it. Yes I'm Chinese but my family always support me so since before I really want to study in china in engineering because it's good major in china at study about engineering so I decided to go study in china."
"You already decided which school in china.?" I ask again
"Of course. I really want to get passed in Peking University in china." Trixie.
Wow! I know that's school in china it's top 2 university in china it's really beautiful.
"Wow that's really admiring." Camela.
Nanahimik lang si khian na kumakain. Napatingin ako sa kanya.
"What about you?"
"H-huh! Ako dito ako mag aaral ng engineering I will take was technology engineering."
"Wow that's very great too." Me.
"Yes it's very good khian you good of that and I know you can do it well." Trixie.
"Yes thank you xie."
So smell!
Nakailang nalang doon si camela.And I continue eating while looking the two of them.