Word of the day: Abiotic: made up of non living organisms
*y'all I don't consider this one of my better ones so u can skip if u want*
*Y/n and Severus have been married for several years, but even though they have learned to trust each other, have never been too close as their motives for marrying were for legal reasons. (Y/n was looking for a way to get away from their parents, they met in a bar after their years at Hogwarts and started talking, and eventually came up with the idea of marriage after Severus' close friend, Lilly commented on the legal parts of marriage) Y/n usually spends the school year at his house but came to visit on a whim because they were feeling lonesome.*
(I know it's complicated just roll with it lol)
(A/U where Voldemort doesn't exist, Severus never had romantic feelings for Lilly, but they went through some hard friendship struggles in school)
The question Y/n had now was if Severus would want a gift or not. They had packed a satchel with hygiene items, a couple outfits, pajamas, a water bottle and a few books. Everything they'd need for a trip to see their husband, or really, most places. Now they were stuck trying to figure out whether or not to get him a gift.
Severus was the type to give random small things to Y/n casually, and so he might find it familier, or comforting, but then again, he was also the type to act as though he had no need of anything in the world. These conflicting points grappled in Y/n's brain as they stood outside a small bookstore in diagon alley.
You know what, if he doesn't want a book then it's not like I can't to anything else with it. I know other people who like reading.
And so Y/n entered the store in search of the perfect novel.
*~*
«eheheheh, there you are » Y/n whispered with a mischievous smile.
The perfect novel had shown itself. Y/n paid for the heavy leather bound book and apperated outside of Hogwarts, looking for a calm place to rest until the school day finished.
Y/n idly looked about taking in the surroundings which they had called home for so long. The cold autumn air rustled the dry leaves scattered around the grey cobblestone underneath their feet. In front of them loomed the castle, windows glaring golden from the late afternoon sun. The grass was a dark green, but was starting to look dilapidated from the cold weather. Y/n turned their gaze up past the towers and looked at the clouds, which silently drifted past in wispy streaks.
There was only one place to go while they waited, Y/n thought to themself. Turning around they looked at the dark trees of the forbidden forest, whose leaves had recently turned a mix of deep crimson and gold.
They tightened the strap to their bag around their shoulders and skipped into the shadows singing quietly.
« come closer and see~ see into the trees, find the girl... while you can...»
Y/n's footsteps crushed the leaves beneath them as they made their way to a mossy stone just past the point where the trees covered the castle up.
Y/n sat down and started to read one of the books they had brought, flipping through the pages steadily. It was a thriller about a young boy whose parents were killed, and was then taken in by an old woman in the mountains, who turned out to be a former serial killer. It was suspenseful, but the plot was a bit hard to keep track of at times.
Y/n finally had to put the book back as the sun fell beneath the shadows of the trees. Standing up carefully, they walked back out of the forest, ignoring the small rustling noises that seemed to follow them. I mean, odd noises were pretty much expected at this point.
As they approached the castle they were met with a few students leaving the castle to take a walk to the lake, or to run off to hogsmeade before curfew. Many had seen Y/n's face in the halls when they had come to visit previously, but Y/n still got some questioning looks as they slipped inside the gates.
As Y/n carefully headed towards the dungeons they felt a twinge of nervousness. They had been terribly lonely at their house in the past few months. While they had a job, they didn't have any friends who lived close by. The emptiness in the house which had so often been welcome by Y/n's introvert personality, had gone cold and painful.
Y/n knew Severus disliked surprises, but was also aware that if they had written to him, he probably would have just offered to come home for a weekend. For some reason unknown Y/n just wanted to come see him themself.
Y/n was worried he would be disappointed they were there, or ignore them. The nervousness settled in their stomach and grew as they traced the old railing down the cold stone steps that led to the dungeons.
As much as their fear slowed them down, they felt excitement about seeing him. Y/n and Severus could talk easily, and he was nicer to them than most. When Y/n thought of him they felt a slow warmth start to grow in their chest.
That must be because he's my closest friend.
Y/n had finally reached the door leading to his office, and they held up their hand and knocked a few quick times before taking a step back. They waited in silence for a few agonizing moments before they heard a familier muffled rythm of footsteps approaching the door. Y/n's heart sped up as they fully realized that they were in fact, actually there, and Severus was in fact, about to find out.
The door swung open on it's creaky hinges to reveal a dark room dimly lit with a few tall candles. Much of the room itself was blocked however, by a tall darkly clothed figure in the door frame.
Severus' face was as stony as ever, but upon recognizing the person standing outside his door he raised one of his eyebrows and his eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Y/n attempted to speak and explain themself, but their mouth suddenly decided not to move. Instead Y/n gazed at Severus with an almost equal amount of surprise, taking in his dark eyes and long hair. Their gaze flitted down to his black cloak, which flowed evenly from his shoulders to the floor, before returning to his eyes.
« Hello, is something wrong Y/n? »
Severus asked, surprised, startling Y/n out of their reverie.
« Oh, uh, hi! I mean, no, nothings wrong. I just came to see you because I wanted to, you see. » Y/n spewed out, looking at the very interesting wall behind him. His low voice was comforting to them, but the nervousness didn't die down in the slightest.
Severus raised his eyebrow higher and shifted his posture, pulling his cloak around him.
« You just... wanted to see me? » he questioned.
Y/n nodded quickly.
« I was wondering if I could stay with you for a bit, if it won't interfere with your work too much. » they responded, still looking away.
Severus stepped back, motioning Y/n into his office, and shut the door as they stepped through. He stood slightly over Y/n, but they weren't that much shorter than him so he easily leaned closer to their ear so he could lower his voice and still be heard. He had his right hand braced against the wall behind him, and his left still pressed on the door handle. Y/n stood right beside him, in front of his arms, slightly leaning against his left shoulder. His body heat evenly combated the cool air of the dungeons, so Y/n was hesitant to leave it. They heard him shift slightly and they looked over to see him gazing at them with slightly narrowed, calculating eyes.
« I don't happen to be daft Y/n. Has something happened at the house? Work, perhaps? » He spoke slowly, seeming to think over his words as he spoke.
« Not really, I was just- » Y/n cut themself off, not wanting to drive the conversation in circles. They could feel him become more tense as they went on.
« It really isn't that big Severus, I was just feeling- »
Y/n cut themself off for the second time.
Not wanting to sound agressive and not wanting to give too much away. Habit. They didn't want him to feel bad. But he was the one they were supposed to share with wasn't he? Wouldn't it be more rude to just not answer.
Plus being lonely is a common thing isn't it?
At least between us
« Sorry. I was just feeling a bit lonely, I don't work at the studio now, I just bring my work in at the end of the week, so I haven't really seen anybody lately. » Y/n thought about the makeshift station for magical bookbinding they had set up in an unused room, and the cold leathery scent mixed in with the heavy smell of the glue that clung to it.
« How long ago was this change enacted? »
He responded dryly, but not with a mean tone
« Only a month and a half ago, I haven't written to you about it yet because they only just decided to make it permanent. » Y/n felt a bit of relief that they wouldn't have to worry about finding a time to tell him anymore.
« I see. Such a thing would be quite the change wouldn't it? You may stay in my chambers. I believe you know where they are?» His voice stayed quiet.
He gently moved around them so he could make his way to his desk. Shifting a few papers and putting his quill in his ink jar he turned back around to face them.
« Yes, thank you, Severus. » Y/n responded with a small nod.
« It's no problem at all. I will see you later then, perhaps. » Severus responded simply before returning to his work.
Severus was experiencing an odd feeling. He reorganized his papers and watched silently as Y/n slipped back out of the room. He sat down and analyzed his emotional state, an odd feeling in the upper half of his stomach, that felt warm, but for some reason he felt sad at the same time. Perhaps he had been lonely as well.
*~*
Y/n found his rooms with ease, and carefully placed their bag on the armchair in the corner of the main room. He lived in the dungeons, and the air was almost colder than it was outside. Y/n looked around, he had a small center room with an armchair in the back corner, bookshelves lining the walls, and a small coffee table. To the right there was a small room that had a large cauldron and a small shelf lined with glass vials. In front of them was a door that was slightly ajar, leading to his bedroom, the walls were dark stone, and the room contained a desk covered in papers next to a wooden bed with black sheets. To the left was a small bathroom which contained a shower.
Y/n carefully placed the bag containing their hygiene products in a corner of the counter in the bathroom and glanced up at the small dirty mirror above the sink. They cast a spell that cleaned it off and returned to the living room to try to figure out what they were doing now.
Y/n figured there wasn't much else to do but to wait for Severus, they took out the project they were working on for work, and carefully started to sew the pages with shifting designs together with magical thread. They would have to save putting the cover on this one until they had a better place to work on it besides his living room floor.
*~*
They were reading when he finally walked through the door, curled up in his armchair. There had most definitely been no sidetracking from their work to cause this.
« Hello, Y/n. » Severus murmured quietly as he walked through the living room to his bedroom, setting down another stack of papers on his desk.
« Oh, hello Severus » Y/n responded calmly, but was feeling a warmth in their chest from the trivial greeting. They glanced over at him, as he was organizing his papers, and felt an odd sense of comfort in seeing him in the same living space they were again.
Severus turned around and met their eyes after successfully separating the piles of paper on his desk from each other. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as if thinking deeply about something, and then walked over to Y/n slowly. He stood over them and thoughtfully placed his forefinger on his chin, lightly frowning. Y/n looked back into his dark eyes and tried not to feel nervous about whatever had captured his attention so thoroughly.
Y/n shifted under his heavy stare, moving their eyes past his shoulder, and then he suddenly spoke;
« You will have to sleep with me, unless you want that chair you're sitting in »
Ah, that makes sense. Y/n and Severus had slept in different rooms for the entirety of their marriage, with a couple exceptions in which one of them would have awful nightmares and go to find the other, but they both refused to mention these. Usually, when Y/n would visit it would be short, and they would be gone before nightfall, so Severus was attempting to calmly outline the sleeping situations available without excessive awkwardness.
It was however, very awkward.
Y/n cleared their throat.
« That's fine by me, if you're really ok with that. I know you like your space. » they said quietly, still making eye contact with his shoulder.
« I wouldn't have offered otherwise. » was his simple reply.
Walking back to his room he added;
« Have you eaten dinner? »
« Yes, I brought some food for dinner. » they answered quickly
« Good. » he murmured, before setting about his evening routine. His voice was deep, and Y/n found it easy on their ears.
It's a shame he doesn't talk more often, I like his voice.
Dang it, I forgot he was a legillimens, hope he wasn't listening to that. Might be embarrassing.
Severus smirked as he brushed his hair. He knew already, this was a thought he had caught on the breeze multiple times before, but it still gave his heart a little burst of confidence when he heard it. Their thoughts were sweet sometimes. It might be nice to sleep beside them for a reason other than nightmares.
Interestingly, tonight he found himself looking forward to falling asleep. How unusual, he usually had quite a hard time falling asleep.
While Severus was in the process of getting ready to go to sleep, Y/n was in the process of being nervous.
What if I kick him in the face while I'm sleeping
I've woken up in weird positions before, I'll probably just fall off the bed actually.
Why am I even worrying about this, we've been friends for a while haven't we?
Friends don't usually get married
Shut up, I've heard of other platonic married couples
If it's all platonic why would you even care?
Because he's a grouch!
But you're really not that kind of nerv-
Standing up Y/n grabbed their pajamas out of their bag, and waited until Severus had left the bathroom to go and change. They wore dark navy pajama pants and an old shirt with (the name of the band you last listened to) printed on it, with the sleeves cut off.
With their pajamas on they brushed their teeth and put their stuff back into their bag. Severus was still moving around in between the rooms, so Y/n picked up their book and settled back into the armchair.
It didn't take long before Severus was back in his room working on marking his papers again, and after seeing the sizes of the piles, Y/n both had pity on him and thought it'd be best for them just to fall asleep without him for now. Y/n took a mug out of a cabinet in the corner with a few dishes, and used a spell to boil some water in it. After the water was heated, they took a tea bag out of the bag they had brought and left it to seep for a few minutes as they put their bag back together and carefully placed it on the ground past the end of Severus' bed.
When the tea was finished Y/n carefully walked with it over to Severus who was still marking his papers.
« Severus, » Y/n remarked quietly
« Yes? » he replied in a murmur, still slightly focused on his work.
« I made you tea, do you want it? » they asked, knowing how much he liked to drink tea while he worked.
« Yes. Thank you » he replied simply, turning in his chair to carefully take the mug from their hands. He placed it precisely in the corner of his desk, and removed his reading glasses to turn to Y/n again.
« You have decided where to sleep I presume? »
He said, gesturing towards Y/n's bag.
« Don't wait for me to sleep I have quite a few things to do, good night Y/n. » He stated, keeping his voice quiet again, but the low tone made it hard to ignore him when he spoke.
Y/n turned the slightest shade of pink in having been caught... doing what exactly they weren't sure, being awkward probably. But he seemed calm, so they felt calm again as well.
« Alright, good night » Y/n responded simply with a nod.
And with that Y/n sat on the edge of his bed. It was nice, it had a soft cushion and his quilt was smooth black cotton, the same with his sheets. He had two pillows, both were soft, not the kind that gave Y/n headaches.
Y/n slipped beneath his sheets, which were still cool, and moved towards the wall. They turned on their side so they were facing him and watched him with half closed eyes as they relaxed into the softness of his bed. His sheets smelled like he always did, anise, warm tea, and the slight scent of his shampoo.
The candle that lit up the papers on his desk suddenly grew a bit dimmer as he murmured something under his breath, and soon, Y/n's heavy eyelids drifted shut. The last thing that they remembered was hearing the soft scratching of his quill against the paper just before they fell asleep.
(Part 2 is in progress, they'll get closer then.)