CHAPTER FOURTY-TWO !
[ real life ]
❝ A FOOL ❞
📂﹖﹕𓂃𐩐💻
ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ
aurora sits at her desk, a distinct frown present on her face.
she glances up at the window beside her and looks out at all her classmates playing outside on the playground. she then looks down at the paper on her desk with a sigh.
it's the last day of fifth grade and she has to finish this freaking test she missed because she was absent! they're making her do it during recess!
the teacher isn't even in here either, it's just her in the back of the classroom by herself. she's very sad. matt literally got a whole group of people to play tag today and she has to finish this test!
she groans, slapping herself on the forehead. if she finishes this fast enough she could be able to go outside for at least some of recess!
she begins quickly reading through the texts and jotting down answers she's only half sure about.
she's so focused that she misses when two girls from her class come in giggling.
"auroraaaa," a girls teasing voice has auroras head snapping up in surprise of someone else being here.
her face scrunches up once she sees two of becca monroe's friends but she puts on a smile anyway. "hey."
she absolutely hates becca monroe and her dumb little minion friends. they're such brats!
"we have something for you!" the other girl says, a conniving grin on her face as she nudges the girl next to her. the girl grins and pulls out a folded piece of paper from her pocket.
auroras eyebrows raise. "what is it?"
"it's a note," the girl with the note says obviously, putting it down on auroras desk.
aurora glances down to it. "really? no way," she says sarcastically. it goes silent and she looks up to see them unimpressed with her sarcasm so she clears her throat, "i mean.. who's this from?"
the two girls share a glance before both crossing their arms with smiles. "matt," they both answer.
"really?" aurora eyebrows furrow. why wouldn't matt just talk to her instead of writing a note? she sighs and picks it up anyway, frowning when she discovers 'to becca' on the front with a very poorly drawn heart. "it says it's for becca."
"yeah but..." girl number one trails off for a second as girl number two begins walking to look out the window. "he talks about you in it so we thought you should see it..."
"really?!" aurora perks up now, beginning to smile a tad.
"yup," girl one says before giving a fake frown. "don't get too excited though..."
auroras eyebrows furrow again as she begins to open it up. "okay," she says, glancing down at it once it's opened all the way.
to: becca
hi becca its matt :) i now that aurora doesn't like u that much so please don't show her this but i really like u. i don't now what to do becuz i think i have a crush on u but aurora will be mad. she's always ben mean so i'm trying to find a way to tell her i don't wanna be freinds but i don't wanna make her cry becuz she can kinda be a crybaby. i just like u better so i think i'm gonna tell her soon! but yeah i really like (like like!) u and hopefully we can go to the playground this summer without aurora!!!
from: matt
:)
aurora's face scrunches up and her heart sinks. crybaby? matt was the one who told her it was okay to cry!
she immediately begins to shake her head and looks up to the girls. "matt would never say this."
"well, he did," girl one tells her knowingly as girl two nods in agreement from the window.
aurora looks down at the paper, fighting the lump in her throat. auroras helped matt with his homework many, many times and this is his handwriting. the dots over the i's aren't colored in and the words he always misspells are misspelled the exact same.
matt doesn't want to be friends? he wants to be friends with becca? he thinks she's mean and a crybaby?
she bites the inside of her cheek. she can't cry because then he'll be right. she can't cry because apparently, he thinks it isn't okay for her to do that anymore.
"OMG!" the girl by the window suddenly exclaims, aurora raising her head up with a frown still present on her face. "if you don't believe us, aurora, you can come see for yourself," she says snarkily, turning to her with her arms crossed. the other girl giggles and rushes over to the window.
aurora sighs sadly and stands up from her seat, walking to the window as well to see whatever they're talking about for herself.
"look!" girl one points to an area out on the playground, aurora following her finger and instantly feeling her small little eleven year-old heart break at the sight. "see."
aurora watches through the window as becca monroe and matt sturniolo stand in the middle of the playground. becca is next to him and leaning far enough to kiss him on the cheek, where aurora had kissed him once before! matt's cheeks are so extremely red that he looks like a tomato and he's grinning the brightest aurora has ever seen.
aurora has never felt so hurt in her entire life, the view just confirming that matt definitely did write the note. she grips onto the note in her hand tightly and blinks repeatedly so the tears forming in her eyes won't fall.
matt like-likes becca and doesn't even like aurora as a friend anymore. it hurts a lot more than it should because she realized just a couple days ago that she had begun to form a crush on him. she had formed a crush on her best friend who doesn't even actually like her! the one who thinks she's a crybaby!
aurora has never felt so sad in her entire life. how could he do this to her?
her body begins to fill with something she doesn't really feel a lot—anger. she crumbles up the note in her hand, the note matt wrote for becca, and tries to gulp away the lump in her throat.
she hates matt for making her feel like this. she hates matt for making her finally feel okay to cry and then calling her a crybaby. she hates matt for calling her his best friend and then telling becca that he thinks she's mean. she hates matt for not liking her. she hates matt for liking becca freaking monroe!
she hates matthew sturniolo! she hates him!
she hates him so badly that she can feel it in her heart and in her chest. she can feel the pain so strongly and it's far more worse than any physical injury she's had before. she's never felt like this before. she hates this feeling and matt's the cause of the feeling so she hates him for that too.
she just hates him so badly that she wants to cry and cry and cry!
so, she turns around abruptly and rushes past the two grinning girls. she doesn't even care about the unfinished test she leaves behind, she doesn't care about looking like a baby, she doesn't care about any of it! she runs to the bathroom and goes to the biggest stall in the very back. she sits on the cold bathroom floor and brings her knees to her chest, finally allowing the tears to spill out.
she cries and she cries and she cries — all because of matt sturniolo. she hates herself every second of it because it just makes him right. she's being a crybaby, a crybaby because of him! she cries anyway though because she's filled with such painful emotions that she's sure if she doesn't let it all out she might explode.
the teacher eventually finds her and allows her to no longer need to make up the test, instead noticing her state and walking her to the guidance counselors office. aurora stays silent on the walk there and she stays silent the entire time the guidance counselor tries to talk to her. she just quietly sniffles and wipes away her continuous tears. she hates this. she hates that matt, a boy she swore would be her best friend forever, has done this to her. she hates matt.
she stays there until the end of the day and when it's time to go back to the classroom and grab her backpack, she ignores the stares she gets because of her glassy eyes.
matt though, of course, comes rushing over to her. "rory!" he exclaims, aurora biting the inside of her cheek as she continues to grab her backpack. "there you are! you freaking missed tag!"
she stays silent and matt begins to grow concerned. his eyebrows furrow, trying to get a better look at her face but it's really hard since she's trying to keep her head down. "are you okay?"
"mhm," she just hums, trying not to let more tears fall out that have already returned back in her eyes. she accidentally lets out a sniffle though and matt immediately notices.
"'rora," he grows quieter, now literally crouching to try and see her face that's down. "what's wrong? you can talk to—"
"i don't want to be friends anymore," she quickly rushes out to just get this over with. she finally looks over to him, teary eyed and all, just in time to watch how his face falls completely.
"what?" he blinks repeatedly, his face twisting up into one of the saddest ones she's ever seen from him. "why? i don't get it," he says, his voice growing quieter as he stares at his best friend in pleading confusion.
"i just don't want to," she tells him sternly, determined to not let any more tears fall. she wouldn't want him going back to becca and just laughing more and more about how she's a crybaby.
matt just shakes his head, not wanting to believe it. "d-did i do something?" he begins to stutter in a quiet voice. when aurora looks to him, she can tell that his eyes are beginning to grow watery and it almost makes her want to pretend that she didn't read the awful things he said about her.
instead, she stays strong. "yeah, you did," she responds shortly, watching the way his eyebrows furrow and his frown deepens.
"i'm sorry for whatever i—"
he's cut off when aurora just takes in a sharp breath, adjusts the backpack now on her shoulder, and shoves past him.
matt instantly turns around as she begins to walk away from him, his eyes now really welled up with tears. he just doesn't understand what he did!
"rory, stop!" he calls out weakly but it's just too late, the girls already gone.
when aurora walks out, the tears she held back instantly begin to pour out of her eyes. she quickly shoves past the other kids and rushes out of the school building, now looking around for her parents car through her blurry vision.
she notices her step dads car and ignores the way her heart sinks. now she needs the tears to go away but the lump in her throat just grows stronger.
she dreadfully begins her path to the car, thinking about how elijah has basketball practice today and that her dad being here means that her mom is busy working.
she opens the passenger door and climbs in, trying to hide her face from him. it ultimately doesn't work though because the first thing he notices when he turns to her is the tears still coming down her cheeks.
"what's got you crying today, aurora?" he asks her.
she toys with the strap of her backpack and bites the inside of her cheek, not saying anything.
her step father sighs, "what is it, aurora?"
she takes in a sharp breath before speaking quietly in a cracking voice, "matt told this really rude girl that i'm mean and a crybaby."
"ah," her step father just raises his eyebrows, turning back to the front as he begins to pull out of the parking spot. "well, i never liked that boy or his family anyway. that mother of his always acts like she's better than me and i'm assuming it's because that boys been telling her i don't take you two places on your play dates. i'm busy out providing for my family though."
aurora just blinks, biting at her nails as she's unsure of what to say. she never understands when he talks like this. what does that have to do with her?
her step father notices her silence and glances at her for a moment before focusing back on driving. "you should be grateful you found out so you don't look like a fool anymore. people are always untrustworthy, you should just be happy you got a sign like this," he tells her although the words he's saying just confuse her. "and maybe take it as a lesson as well, you know what i've told you about crying."
"yeah, i know," she instantly responds, not wanting to make him angry. "it's just... it's hard. he was my best friend," she says sadly although her step father just stays unimpressed.
he shakes his head. "he's just a boy, no need for anymore tears or time wasted on him."
aurora let's out a sigh, just simply nodding her head before resting it against the car window instead.
on the ride home, she silently thinks about her fathers words. he's right. she doesn't need him, she'll be fine.
and that was the first, last, and only day aurora ever cried over matt sturniolo because without him, who was there to tell her it was okay?
but no, she was wrong. here she is, all these years later with tears in her eyes again all because of matt sturniolo. the same old empty feeling is present in her heart just like the first time but she feels much, much more betrayed. how could she let him hurt her so badly for the second time?
she sits on the cold floor against her front door just like she sat on the bathroom floor all those years ago. she's a fool. for the second fucking time, she's a fool. she's a complete and utter fool because of matt, always because of matt.
she thought she had seen the last of becca monroe too after she went to a different middle school than them but no, she came back to bite aurora in the ass one last fucking time.
as she sits on the floor, she hears a couple footsteps and instantly sighs of relief when she sees her dog boomer approaching her. she hasn't seen the dog since forever it seems, he's always spending his time outside around the neighborhood despite his old age.
he walks over to her and sniffs her face, auroras nose scrunching up. he ultimately licks one of auroras tears away and she lets out a sad laugh. she pets his back as he takes a step back and lays his head down on her lap with a sigh.
she sighs as well. all she needs is her dog and she'll be fine.
but no. she won't. she was never really fine without matt the first go around so how on earth is she supposed to be fine without him now after every thing they've experienced together?
💌
yikers 🥶🥶🥶
sigh i love writing angst so much.
ALSO WRITING MATTS LIL NOTE TO BECCA WAS SO FUN LMFAOFKFOG
also while u guys are here please lmk how mad you are at matt, if you're also mad at aurora, and how dramatic you think aurora should be bc.... i made estella way too dramatic in obvious and i'm trying not to repeat the same mistakes 🙏🙏 #GROWTH!!
<3
jaden