Cale really couldn't care less where the worthless king shoved his dick.
For all she could care, he could be fucking every goddamn maid and butler in the palace and she wouldn't give a rats ass about it. There was absolutely no reason she'd ought to give the slightest fuck about what Alver did.
She was only upset because he'd exposed their four year old daughter to debauchery. That was all. It was irresponsible and stupid of him. What could Penelope have witnessed to have told her that? How much had he already traumatized their innocent daughter?
The fiery rage that filled her completely had nothing to do with caring about what he did or who he did it with.
Still, her?
Of all people, her?
Cale's fists clenched as the words he dared to utter echoed in her head.
"What's wrong?" She asked back coldly, her entire body exuding an aura of rage. "You would like to know what's wrong?"
Cale was a complicated person.
While it was true that she had acted in a great many ways that most people would dismiss as morally reprehensible. She mistreated and used others, she would lie as easy as breathing, she manipulated for her own goals and never cared about those who were left in the wake of her cruelty, she was truly a cold and villainous person with debatable morality.
But she did have morals. And ones with which she adhered to ardently.
There were obvious ones.
Anyone who was considered her family was always prioritized above herself and everyone else, to be protected at any and all personal cost. It was a selfless virtue taken to such an extreme that it had long since become a vice.
And then there were her less obvious virtues.
Cale was loyal, faithful, and devoted.
Perhaps those virtues were the very reason she was prone to such extremes.
But she took vows seriously. Even ones she'd never wanted to or intended to make.
When she swore a vow of fidelity at the altar to her husband to be, she had every intention of keeping it even if it meant a lifetime of abstinence. And she did just that. Even through every hateful meeting or lamentable disagreement.
She'd never so much as looked at another after the beginning of their marriage.
One of the very few things she'd always thought she could depend upon Alver for was his adherence to that same vow.
Obviously she didn't care where he put his dick. Obviously. Why would she? But she always had a certain appreciation for the fact that there were never rumors of a lover or a concubine or other nonsense. If for Penelope's sake if nothing else.
She thought they were of one mind when it came to this.
For reasons she couldn't even begin to comprehend, Cale felt like crying.
And so, in a pure and absolute Cale fashion, she funneled all of that emotion into a boundless rage that consumed her entire heart and mind.
Mindless of her plans to make nice with the king and her own position at his mercy, without even a regard for how it might be considered treasonous, Cale dragged Alver down by the collar and bashed her forehead against his own, reddish brown eyes glaring ferociously into shocked blue.
All of the surroundings melted away as there was only the pair of them and Cale's fury. Perhaps that was why her dangerous hiss resounded so clearly in the ears of those presents.
"What's wrong is you fucked that whore in front of our daughter–"
Penelope realized in retrospect how her words might have been misinterpreted.
Although at the time she really couldn't comprehend the sudden leap in logic her mother had taken. She especially wasn't sure how to cope with Cale's apparent rage over it.
She'd only warned her mother to hasten their divorce. She'd thought that Cale would respond to this as nonchalantly as she did to most news involving her despised husband.
Alver's eyes widened to the size of saucers and he choked on his words. "I did no such thing!" The king looked legitimately shocked by the accusation. So surprised that indignation didn't even have time to settle in.
"Don't lie to me." Cale hissed through clenched teeth, rearing her head back and hitting him again. "You're the–"
"I've never slept with anyone but you–!" Alver realized just how loudly he'd yelled such a thing in front of everyone, including his daughter, and shrank down with flushed cheeks and panicked eyes. "Can we discuss this privately?"
"Why?! So you can lie through your teeth–"
"How could I possibly look at someone else when I have you!?"
Penelope took a step back from the developing scene and nearly bumped into the knees of the dutiful guard she'd only just hired who stood behind her with an expression of forced apathy.
Ah. It must be an uncomfortable scene for the heroine. Penelope winced. She'd rushed things too much and now she and her mother were perfectly positioned to be the villains that got in the way of the heroine's happiness.
Cale reeled back from the words and looked like she might headbutt her husband a third time as the rage broiled inside of her. "Clearly you did– was it fun fucking around with her?!" The acidic way that Cale managed the pronoun was as venomous, if not more so, than the way she normally said your majesty. It was almost shocking to hear Cale use that level of vitriol against someone that wasn't Alver.
"I never touched–I've only just met her for the first time!" Alver gestured towards the knight standing dutifully behind his daughter. "I barely remember her name!"
"You don't need a name to shove your–"
"Penelope is here!"
Alver's sharp reprisal finally knocked some sense into Cale and she released Alver's collar, looking towards her daughter with a sinking stomach.
What sort of things had she been saying in front of her four year old daughter?
She'd already exposed Penelope to plenty of unpleasant sights due to her act but she'd made sure to stay away from such vulgar insinuations, at least while in Penelope's hearing distance, and here she was yelling out crude and inappropriate accusations that no child should hear.
It shook her.
Momentarily she reflected that Penelope should have never had to see any of her public personas. No one ought to see their mother 'drunk' and violent and cold–she knew that it wasn't good for Penelope to see such things but she'd always assured herself that it was for the greater good. It was in order to protect Penelope.
She was doing all of this to ensure Penelope's safety and happiness. And that was true, it really was, but was it the best way to do so?
Or was it just the easiest for Cale? To continue what she was used to doing instead of finding methods that caused less damage?
Looking at Penelope's clearly rattled expression she wondered how many times she might have scared Penelope just like this. She was surely too young to understand Cale's insinuations and so her fear must have been from Cale's fury.
A trait that she had shown the child numerous times over the years in order to cement herself as a trash queen.
It was a bad time for self doubt to enter Cale's heart as she pulled trembling hands away from Alver's collar and tried to think of a way to solve the situation.
How did she apologize to Penelope? How did she deal with that horrible cheating bastard and his whore? How did she disentangle this knot?
Why had she been so angry...?
Alver's hand hesitantly touched her trembling shoulder and she nearly swatted it away in her desire not to be touched by the disgusting cheating son of a bitch. She met Alver's eyes though and the words died on her tongue.
"We'll talk in a moment." He said and his voice lacked emotion.
It was terrifying to hear from the man who always pretended to be happy and cheerful. To have his voice missing any emotion at all was like a splash of cold water.
Alver kneeled in front of Penelope and his voice softened. "Penelope, would you mind telling me what you told your mother?"
Penelope took another step back and this time she did bump into Choi Han's knees. Her pupils shook and her throat closed up.
Was this it?
Was this the moment that her father abandoned her?
Alver closed his eyes and sighed softly. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me. I'm not mad." He opened his eyes and offered her a pained smile. "What would you like to do, Penelope?"
She jumped at the opportunity. "I'm going to my room!" She looked at both of them, knowing that she needed to dramatically restructure her plan to avoid all of the death flags that she'd just set off with her own hands. "Alone...!"
She didn't even realize she was using an uncharacteristically loud voice, as though scared she wouldn't be heard unless she yelled.
"That's perfectly alright." Alver said. "May I ask that you have an escort of your choice bring you there?"
Well, the damn heroine had to be useful for something.
Penelope needed to get away from her parents. She needed to digest all of the new information she'd been provided with and most importantly she needed to calm the mounting panic that was overcoming her senses.
'I don't want to die...!'
That was what it all boiled down to. Penelope's desperation. Her bias. Her haste. She could feel the sands of time falling ever closer to the moment within which she would die, her mother would die, and it caused her to behave brashly.
She hugged Choi Han's legs and glared up at her. "Take me to my room!" She demanded. Later she reflected that it was foolish to ask to be left alone with the armed heroine who she'd just given a reason to hate her.
Rash. Desperate. Foolish.
Choi Han looked to the parents first for confirmation before nodding and picking up Penelope who squawked in surprise at the sudden lift. "Yes, princess."
Alver watched the pair depart with a sinking feeling in his stomach, returning to his feet and turning to face Cale.
She still looked about ready to headbutt him again. That or cry.
It was an unsettling expression to see on Cale's normally undaunted composure. She could face any amount of criticism or accusation with a sarcastic smile and biting insults but at this moment in time, she looked truly vulnerable.
It reminded him of the night in the forest.
Guilt welled up in his chest as he remembered his original purpose for coming here. As urgent as he felt that conversation was, even he could tell that it wouldn't offer her any happiness or relief in her current state.
Alver let out a deep sigh. At the very least, he could clear up the misunderstanding. "I have never, and I never intend to, seek the romantic or sexual company of anyone but you."
Cale snorted derisively but she was still shaking a bit. He hadn't wanted to have this argument in front of Penelope but he also didn't want her to feel so...
...ah, that made sense.
Alver chanced a step closer to her but didn't dare any farther when she practically flinched at his approach. "I'm sure Penelope is okay. She was probably just surprised."
Alver could understand more than anyone how painful it was to have your own daughter look at you with fear in her eyes. He'd been enduring that same look ever since that first morning when Penelope had greeted him as your majesty.
Cale looked at him sharply. "I'm not concerned about that." She lied. And this time he could tell it was a lie. Was she getting sloppy or was he getting better at reading her?
Either way, he offered her the words of comfort he'd wished to hear. "Penelope loves you. She won't hold this against you. You're the most important person in the world to her." He smiled softly but bitterly. It was true. Cale was everything to Penelope and so such a brief exchange wouldn't damage that relationship. At least not permanently.
However if someone had said the same to Alver, it would have been a lie.
His daughter did not love him and he was not important to her.
For as painful as that knowledge was, it wouldn't stop Alver from loving her or prioritizing her.
Cale's gaze trembled and he wanted to hug her, to offer her just a bit more comfort, it was only the knowledge that she would surely not find his touch comforting that stopped him. "Would you like to go speak with her now?"
He needed to clear up this misunderstanding but Cale wasn't in any shape to have this conversation and besides, he knew that she'd want to see Penelope as soon as possible.
To his surprise, Cale shook her head. She fixed him with a cold look that was far more composed than her earlier fury but no less angry.
"No. I want to hear it. What's your excuse?" She said. Cale's expressive brown eyes were swirling with all sorts of emotions but the only ones he was sure about was her hatred.
"I don't have an excuse." Alver said, growing a bit frustrated. "I never had any relations with Penelope's knight, romantic or sexual. I met her for the first time a few minutes ago and then we immediately left to find you. I exchanged a few greetings with her and that was all."
The words then why would Penelope say such a thing died on Cale's tongue. She didn't want to risk turning Alver against their daughter just because of his stupid affair. But really, who did he think he was kidding? It would have been more believable if he proclaimed the knight to be beneath his station but instead he was daring to spout nonsense that made it sound as though he prioritized Cale.
What a pathetic bluff. Did he think she was just a jealous bitch who only wanted to hear you're the only one for me, honest? She was just offended that he would dare to...
Alver's hand touched her own and she lost her train of thought. The king lifted up her hand to his lips and kissed the ring gently. "I swear to you, and I'll swear to any god you choose, I've never done such a thing. I will never do such a thing."
Any god was a clear allusion to the only god that mattered in such disputes of honesty. Cale felt a bit thin at the thought. Was he really willing to risk his life on a lie? Did he think he could play word games in front of the god of death and get away from it unscathed?
...or was he telling the truth...?
Penelope was only four. She was certainly bright for her age but it was possible for her to be mistaken. In fact, it was a lot more likely that she had misunderstood than it was that a person as manipulative and cautious as Alver had all of a sudden inability to hide his affair.
If he had been having affairs then he would have been good at hiding them to have allowed Cale ignorance of their existence all these years.
She decided to press, watching his reaction cautiously. "You'll swear it to the god of death? Using the words I give you?"
It was an unfair bargain. No one placing their lives on the scale of a lie ought to risk death by accepting such unilateral terms. She fully expected some rebuffing, even if he was innocent.
Alver sighed softly and squeezed her hand gently before letting it go. "If that's the only way, then yes."
There was that look in his eyes again.
He looked at her like that sometimes and she never knew how to react. Usually it was an infrequent emotion in his clear blue eyes, one that she might spot every few months or so, but lately she'd been seeing it almost daily.
It always made her uncomfortable. She couldn't understand it and it was somehow so... vivid and vulnerable. She normally responded to that expression with a well timed insult and she was able to make it go away.
Her heart squeezed in her chest and she sensed that even the best slander her extensive vocabulary could provide wouldn't shake the emotion in his gaze.
She didn't look away because that would be allowing him to win but her glare lost its strength in the face of those eyes.
"I'll make you swear it." She said, bitterly trying to regain her footing in the argument.
Ah, that was what was so different.
She was normally able to aggravate him into fighting back. Slinging insults back at her or at least hiding behind his cowardly mask of a smile.
Alver looked pained and exhausted but there was no fight to him. He had no intention to fight her, only to clear up the misunderstanding.
Was it really only a misunderstanding?
Cale's cheeks flushed hotly at the mortifying thought.
"Then I'll swear it." Alver smiled bitterly at her and it was so imperfect and broken even she couldn't accuse him of faking it.
Alver liked to look perfect. The ideal king. The ideal leader. Powerful and wise and gracious. The mask of a weak and vulnerable man didn't suit him. Didn't suit who he wanted to be.
She might hate him but she didn't like seeing him so uncharacteristically worn down. At least not like this.
Cale quelled the impulse to touch his cheek. A simple and comforting gesture she might do for Penelope but would never offer to this wretched man.
Cale clenched her fists at her side. "You're quite confident."
"Because I would never do that to you."
She shot him a glare, regaining some steam. "What does it have to do with me? It's just shameful...!"
"You're my wife." He held up his own hand with the wedding band still prominently present. She knew he wore it but she also knew he probably only did so for the look of things.
Heaven only knew why she wore hers. Perhaps as a power play.
"I made a vow to remain loyal only to you."
Her words faded in the face of his simple proclamation.
It was true for her as well. It wasn't anything romantic. It was just the simple truth that they'd sworn fidelity to one another one day five years ago. She upheld the vow as well.
Yet something about his words made her heart stir uncomfortably and a lump built up in her throat.
She scoffed scornfully. "I don't care about that."
His expression was so serious that it took her off guard.
"I do." He looked away and she could swear there was legitimate pain in his face. It wasn't something she used to concern herself with. In fact, she used to consider it a victory if she could break past his perfect mask and make him show pain like a human would.
Now it just felt like a hollow victory.
"I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time." He said, looking away from her and towards the estate. "I had a matter to discuss with you but I believe it would be best if it waited until another time."
Cale reached out despite herself, taking hold of his sleeve to stop him with her heart throbbing in her throat. For just once, her face was clear of menace and lies. The idea of him walking away just now felt too awful. She acted on impulse alone.
"Wait..."
He turned to look at her and grimaced, looking away.
"You don't have to do that anymore." He said, pulling his sleeve away.
Cale forgot to breathe for a moment, her heart slammed in her chest as she felt rejection welling up inside of her.
"I won't take Penelope away. Please stop pretending to hold affection for me."
She couldn't move as he walked away.
What a wretched feeling it was for someone to mistake your sincerity for a lie.
Cale experienced that miserable feeling for the first time that day.