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THREE;
『 RED KEEP 』
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ㅤ THE SUN HAS begun to break over the horizon by the time I've arrived to the iron pointed gates. The Red Keep towers over me, the great towers stretch out over the orange sky. I take in a shaky breath of air and approach the guards stationed at the main gate. They fall into the middle of the path, blocking my entry.
"Your business?" One of the guards demands. I cannot see his face through the thick armor, but his voice tells me enough. He hates his job. He'd rather be anywhere else. He wants me to state my reasoning for coming to the palace and be done.
"I am Desmara Targaryen, the King has request to see me." I say firmly. There's a hint of doubt in my voice, but the guard seems to see past that due to my name. He looks at the other guard then back at me. He grabs me arm. The gate splits open.
He's practically dragging me at the pace in which he is moving. My legs struggle to keep up. I make sure the black hood is securely fastened over my head. We enter through a back door. The hallway is made of stone, it is cold and dimly lit. There are doors everywhere but almost no windows. I take in what I can without seeming like a spy.
My sides begin to hurt from the amount of heaving I'm doing to keep up. Eventually, we turn down what seems to be a main hallway. There are people, dotted here and there, keeping to their tasks. We turn down another hallway which has a thick carpet running all the way down to the giant door positioned at the end.
The guard lets go of me, but his motion tells me to stay put. I stand still, unmoving, unblinking. He exchanged a few words with the knight positioned outside of the door. When he finally turns back to me I can tell that it's time. I'm about to enter the room in which the King- my father will be waiting to see me.
The guard that had drug me all this way retreats down the hallway and the one that he had been speaking to takes me instead. He pushes open the great door. The room is enormous, made of glorious stone. There's pillars guiding the way up to the enormous silver throne that's placed in the center along the back wall. There's a giant window above it with morning sun pooling through it.
A figure sits on the throne. His hand is lazily draped around his sword that's pointed into the ground beneath him. He sits with his legs slightly spread. There are guards posted on either side of the throne, but other than that, there is no audience. The knight wrapped around me pulls me further into the room. About mid-way though we stop and he introduces me, although I know the King already knows who I am.
"This woman claims to be Desmara Targaryen, your daughter, sir." The knight says in a voice that echoes all through the room. A shiver runs down my spine. I stand firmly on my feet. I haven't brought a weapon, just my parchment and my being.
"Indeed." The King says. He waves his hand. The knight drops my arm in an instant and retreats back to the doors.
Viserys gestures his hand for me to come closer. I walk towards the throne until the two knights posted on either side of them place their hands on the holt of their swords, ready to drawl. That tells me that I've come close enough. His face is wrinkled with age. His facial hair is well manicured. His eyes are a pale, innocent blue, although I know they've been Hell and back.
"Your mother, Taella, was a resort in which I regret turning to. I feared- fear- for the future of my realm. I was careless with my actions." He says factually, without a hint of doubt. I can hear regret swelling in his voice. His fingers tap the handle on his sword.
"Now, if you had been a boy, that would be a different picture. People may not have been happy with a half-breed, but I told myself it was better than nothing." He explains with a dim voice. I feel my mouth begin to drawl open to speak. I know you mustn't speak to any sort of royalty unless spoken to with a question or concern, but Viserys is my father, half of my own blood.
"Because I am a woman you cast me aside? You could not bare to even look at me? Hold me?" I fire back in an instant. I don't think my words through before speaking, in which I regret dearly, but my emotions begin to well like a pot boiling over. I cannot seem to contain my fury.
"You are young, Desmara, you do not yet have the understand for why I have done certain things." He replies in a long breath. I furrow my eyebrows together in dismay. I may be young, but I am smarter than one may think me to be. I can understand why people do things.
"Yes, father, I am young. I was also young when you abandoned me." His posture changes when I call him my father. He blinks a few times to process. Viserys isn't a cruel ruler, that I know of, but me speaking to him as I am may change that. I step out of line time and time again but I will get my point across, I will make sure he feels the same way I felt whenever I found out he was my father.
"Mistakes were made, Desmara. The past cannot be rewritten. I regret my actions. I was acting careless." His voice is too clam compared to mine. Mine is laced with a snappy attitude, his is soaked in seriousness. I pull the cloak off from my head to reveal myself. My other attempts have failed, perhaps this will allow him to truly see me.
He sits up straighter on his throne. He rests the sword he had been fiddling with against the others. He stands up, slowly. My eyes don't leave his. He scuffles down the steps in my direction. He stands feet away from me. The sunlight illuminates him from behind. His eyes run over my face. It is his first time ever to see his daughter, his half-breed, his mistake and regret.
"Desmara," his voice is frail. He lifts a hand to my face. I shiver at his cool touch. It is nothing like my mothers warm hand. He brushes a strand of white hair from my face. I don't allow my eyes to leave his, as much as I want to. I look straight into him.
"Am I your biggest regret, father?" I ask, limply. I'm holding back a rush of tears and agony. I will not cry in front of my father, the King. I will die before he sees a tear slip from my eye.
"No, no you are not. I've been fighting with this regret for so long. But now that I see you, of my flesh and your mothers, I am... Relieved." His words don't make much sense to me. I don't understand how seeing my face alone can change every thought in a persons mind, but somehow it has. I watch him stare at me, my eyes, my nose, the combination of his and my mothers.
"You have grown to look just like me." His voice comes out softly. He lifts his hand to touch my face again but I take a step back. His touch does not feel right.
"Most people tell me I look like my mother, though I presume that's because they don't know my father is Viserys Targaryen." I spit out his name like a sour taste in my mouth. It is. It's because more of a shame than a pride. My own father had shunned away from me before I was even a few days old. I never knew his touch nor his voice.
"A deep regret of mine, Desmara." He placed his hands over his heart. "I have lived with the aftermath of my decision every day, and every day I regret it more than the last. I have an ocean of guilt for not ever meeting you, my child." His words present themself to be sincere but I do not know if I can trust them. I haven't know him, I don't know his tricks and scams.
"I want you to return the promise you made to my mother all those years ago. She deserves to have the coin you never gave to her. She has worked every day of her life for me. For your daughter to have a good life." My eyes narrow as I speak. Again, this is no way for a child to talk to an adult, but my emotions continue to overflow and pour.
"I will give her that and whatever else she may need. I... I will make sure she needs to work. As for you..." His voice trails into oblivion. I pinch my brows together.
"What? Will you shun me again? Leave me fatherless as I once was?" I raise an eyebrow.
"No," he takes in a sharp breath. "I would much enjoy it if you stayed here. Having you at Red Keep would allow me a sense of peace." His slow manor of speech tells me he isn't quite sure if he's making the correct decision. I'm not sure if he has, either. I do not want to leave my mother, nor Sermond, nor the life I've grown with.
"You want me to leave everything I know for this? You? I will be called a half-blood, a freak, and worse. You know how people like me are treated." The thought of it makes my stomach churn. People have never been accepting of half-bloods like I. Who knows what one may say about a Targaryen half-blood.
"That will be an obstacle, yes. But, in time word will get out to the village. There are snakes in these walls. In days, perhaps weeks, the entire village of Red Keep will know of your Targaryen half blood. And there, you will not be safe, you will be hunted for the largest prize." He explains in an urgent tone. I know he is right. The walls of the Red Keep seem to listen and speak. It will be nearly no time at all before my neighbors know of my blood.
"What will become of my mother? Will they not be out for her blood as well, since she had bed a King?" My tone rises with concern. I cannot imagine my mother being hurt at the cost of me. I try and push away the evil thoughts but they seem to overpower.
"Her new home will be heavily guarded at all times. If it gives you piece of mind I could send her somewhere more isolated, perhaps?" He asks with a tilt of his head.
"I will not make decisions on my mothers behalf, as she will not make this decision for me." I shake my head. There are countless thoughts swirling around me. I do not know whether I will ever be able to live in the walls of Red Keep, though I cannot imagine going to bed every night terrified for the sake of my life.
"I want to return back to village and explain everything to her myself." I say firmly. I am in no place to demand things to my father in such a sort, but I know the new vibrancy of seeing his daughter grown is having an impact on everything he may feel at the current moment.
"I will have someone fetch your horse and send a small party with you, for your safety." He confirms with a nod of his head. I shake my head.
"I do not have a steed." I reply.
He waves over one of his guards and whispers something into his ear. The guard strides toward the door, his chainmail clattering. Suddenly I'm thinking about Sermond, about our engagement. Somehow in the light of things I've forgotten that I'm promised to him, that we are to be married soon. What is to become of us now that I'll be stowed away at the Red Keep?
Another guard appears through the door, striding in our direction. He stops about five feet away and presents my father with a deep bow. He clears his throat before he speaks.
"A steed as been prepared. Since patrols have been doubled, I am the only present guard able to take Daemara to her destination, if that is of service." The guard says in a firm, defined voice. I can make out the articulation of every word. I find it sort of odd, that people truly speak in that sort.
"As you are." Viserys says in dismissal.
The guard nods his head. I begin walking towards the doors, my footsteps are more relaxed this time. The knight matches my pace, I am not rushed, I am not winded. Once we exit the room, he leads the way at an easy pace. We take the same route in which I had first come through. Once we emerge outside I lay my eyes on the two saddled steeds waiting by the wall.
The knight approaches the black horse and runs his gloves hand over his neck. The horse's hoof lifts a little. I've ridden a few times, back when Sermond and his family owned a pony. Life was all fun and games back then, but now I've been hit by a wave of serious duty.
The knight approaches the other horse, a white beauty with thin mole-like splotches on her body. He runs his hand over her neck then waves me over. I approach the two. I watch as he calmly strokes the horses mane, like a second nature.
"Let her know that you are a friend, not a foe." He says. I reach out my hand and gently pat her neck. The fur twitches in return. A broad smile spreads across my face. She reminds me a lot of the old pony I used to ride around on. We called her Vacnea. She was old but she sure did know how to kick given the chance.
"What's her name?" I ask the knight who hadn't yet stopped patting her.
"Palace horses do not have names, only the ones that the royals ride do. This is forty-six. That's her number and her name, in a sort." He explains. I'm not too sure how I feel about that. They're treated like objects here, nothing more than a number, unless they're ridden by the royals. It sort of reminds me of my own life. No one pays attention to you unless you are of high blood.
"We should depart now." He says. I nod. I hadn't realized how tall the mare is. I try to swing my leg over the side, but I can't quite reach. I reposition myself and try and. No luck. The knight gestures out his hand to help. I allow him. He lifts my leg over the side of the horse. I swing around much easier with the help of his hand.
I grab the reins in my hand. The leather feels unnatural in my hands. He gets on the horse in front of mine then grabs his own reins. He turns to face me before we begin our descent down to the village.
"She will follow my horse since she is behind him, therefore you will not need to steer much." He explains. I relax a little at that. I've never really had to steer horse, especially not through unfamiliar terrain. He clicks his horse into motion and mine begins to follow immediately.
* * *
IT IS MUCH quicker to travel on horseback. We arrive at the house faster than I could've imagined. I get off of the steed in a hurry, more than ready to see my mother. I pull the reins over the mares head and follow the knight to the front door. He knocks twice, loudly enough for even our neighbors to hear.
The door opens within just a few seconds. My mothers frightened face stands in the doorway. Her arms extend and pull me into a hug. I melt into her arms like a child. She pulls me close. I take in her smell. I'm not sure how long I have here with her, but I know I will cherish every second that I do have.
She motions the knight and I inside, we follow. We take our seats at the table. She vanishes into the kitchen and returns with the bread basket. She offers us each a piece of bread. I take mine and bite into it with a sudden hunger. The knight lifts off his helmet, revealing a young man underneath.
He has rosy red cheeks and a defined nose as well as jaw. His eyes are a gentle grey and his hair is nearly the darkest shade of black. He is extraordinary young to be a kings knight. His father must be powerful, or perhaps he must be a determined young man. He takes a bite of the bread.
"Viserys has stated that you will be paid indefinitely. He has offered you a new home, as well. He would like me to stay at Red Keep. He claims that word will spread soon enough and that my life will become endangered." I explain as detailed as I can without waisting too much time. She nods in understanding, although I can tell she's reluctant.
"I can take care of myself, mother, I am nearly sixteen." Most girls nearly have children by now and have been wed. I'm quite behind for my age, but perhaps that's for the best, considering the recent news of my fathers status.
"I know you can, Desmara. I just fret for you. Those walls are full of lies and traitors. You are a half-blood. Half of the people will hate you for that and the other half will fear your because you are a Targaryen." She is right. She always is. I will have no friends there, only enemies. I will have to constantly watch my back to make sure a sword doesn't pierce through my heart.
"Viserys has told me you will be safe. He will keep you protected. He says he will get you a cozy house in the hills, somewhere secluded." I turn back to business. I want to make sure she knows I'm not leaving her with nothing, as my father had.
"Oh, I can take care of myself here just fine. I will be alright, Desmara." She says quietly. I nod with a grin because I know she is right. She is strong and independent. She'll be alright.
"I will see you as soon as I can." I say getting up from the chair. She pulls me into a lung-crushing hug. I take her in, her warmth. I close my eyes, letting myself linger. I don't want to leave her, but my only option endangers her even more and I cannot let that happen.
Slowly, we depart from one another's arms and I'm left alone and cold. The knight's armor clambers behind me. I turn to face him. His helmet is back on. It's time to go. I look at my mother again and hold her cheek in my hand. Her eyes look into mine and mine into hers. We say everything we need to then.
I follow him out of the door which closes behind us with a thud. My entire life has now been shut out with a single motion. He mounts his steed, but I'm not quite ready to do the same.
"There is one more stop I need to make. I will make it quick." I say hazily. I must see Sermond before I go. I must tell him I need to leave.
We reach his house in a few minutes by taking the back way. I knock gently on the door. He answers, dressed in his nighttime tunic that's too thin, so thin I can see the outline of his chest and stomach. I tear my eyes away are stare into those forgiving hazel eyes.
"My father had request that I stay at Red Keep, for my safety, for my mothers." I whisper. Now I can feel the tears begin to prickle. The night has been a blur of painful goodbyes. He jerks me into a suffocating hug. I wrap my arms around his back and nestle my face into his shoulder. I do not want to leave him, I do not want to leave my mother.
"You must marry someone else, Sermond. I cannot. I will be kept away from everyone, everything. Please, tell me you will find a new woman. Tell me." I say urgently into his ear. I can feel his entire body tense at my words. I do not blame him. I myself am pressing every muscle in my body.
"Desmara, I do not think I can bring myself to marry anyone else. You are the only woman I could ever desire." His words cause me to clench my jaw in agony. I can feel the tears trying their best to escape. I will not let them. I will fight them for as long as I may.
"Try for me Sermond. Please say you will try for me." My voice is beginning to break from lack of oxygen- or perhaps it is the flood of tears that threatens to break loose at any moment.
I can feel him nod. "As you wish." His voice sounds like it did when we were children. There is such delicacy and pureness.
He has accepted my only request. I can leave now. Every bone in my body feels as though they cannot move, though my mind is telling me that I must. My heart aches in my chest as I break away from his touch. I look at his face one last time. I take it in as a whole. I paint a picture of it in my mind so that I may never forget what it looks like- as if I ever could.
I turn to leave his home, the place I've so dearly grown to love as my own. His voice stops me in my tracks.
"One day I will become powerful enough to see you again, Desmara. One day I will." His voice is quiet but firm. I turn and look at him. I simply nod. I'm afraid if I say anything else the tears will fall. I must leave before I fall to my knees. I throw the hood of the cloak over my head and follow the knight to the horses.
My body feels drained. I've just left my mother and the man that was supposed to be my future husband. I'm about to leave the village that I've called home for the past fifteen years. I jump on the mare this time without any help from the knight. The simple rage of my emotions is enough to give me the boost that I need.
I grab the reins we begin our ascent back to the Red Keep. I do not turn my head, I keep looking straight at the castle unwinding before me. I'm leaving everything that I know for a man that has never wanted anything to do with me. But I am doing it for the protection of those that I love.
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