Zeke's POV
When I say it has been a long day, I mean it has been a long day. Between my eight-hour shift and overthinking about Xavier I was bloody exhausted. I hadn't been back to see him since I saw Maer slap her own child and emotionally abuse him. I couldn't go back, for no other reason than I didn't know what to say to him.
What do you say to someone after that? After they cling to you for dear life afterwards and you help them cover up the bruising on their face because their mother is too disgusted to even look at it.
I sat in my car in the driveway, seeing Ashton's car already here. I rubbed my face with my hands to wake myself back up again. Okay, well, if Ashton is here then maybe I can talk to him about it, get it off my chest.
I walked into the house, hearing talking coming from the kitchen, so I immediately rounded the corner to reach the room.
"Hey, guys, can I..." I trailed off, realising that Soraya was holding Ashton's forearm, and the two were too close for a normal conversation. Both of them looked at me. Soraya had panic in her eyes and Ashton looked confused, but whatever was happening now could wait.
"Ashton, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked. Soraya's look of panic turned into one of anger. "It's about Xavier." I added. Her eyes softened.
"What?" She asked. I shook my head.
"I'd rather just..." I pointed to Ashton, who nodded, taking his arm away from Soraya, who almost held on with a death grip.
"Hey, I won't be long." He said. She nodded.
"I'll be in my room. I'll take your hot chocolate." She said, overly nervous about being with one of her friends. I watched as Ashton nodded before I dragged him out of the kitchen and into the lounge room, waiting for Soraya to sneak up the stairs before I started speaking.
"Okay, I don't know how to ask this without..." I trailed off. He furrowed his brows while looking me in the eye.
"Without what?" He asked. "What the hell is going on? Is this about Xavier or was that a cover-up so you could talk to me about your sister because I swear I-"
"No, it's about Xavier. Should I be talking about my sister? You are giving me some major fucking concerns-"
"No, don't be concerned. I just thought I might be about to get the threatening brother talk was all, but if not, continue on." He said, now I was fucking confused. What the hell kind of conversation had I walked in on?
"We are going to put a pin in that and circle back shortly, okay?" I said, mainly because if I didn't talk about Xavier I was going to lose my mind. "Xavier, do you know about..."
"About what? Him being gay? Technically no, he hasn't told anyone, but it seems to be a thing that is happening. And that's fine. My main concern is what happened to Leah may happen to him if that's true."
"Leah..."
"His older sister, she left because she's lesbian. If she hadn't of left, I assume she would have been kicked out." He said, which seemed to make the entire situation worse. Fuck.
"Do you know Maer hits him?" I asked, his eyebrows raised for a second, but settled back down. He looked over his shoulder and nodded, maybe checking that Soraya wasn't in the room before speaking.
"Yeah, it was happening for years, but I thought it stopped. Why?" He asked.
"When I went there last... I snuck in through the window and Maer heard us arguing, but I couldn't sneak back out in time, so he shoved me into the walk in and..."
"You heard the emotional abuse, and she slapped him." Ashton finished for me.
"Yeah and then he clung to me when he had been trying to throw me out the window a few minutes before and... I understood she was a bitch, a controlling one, but that's something completely different and-"
"I know. I've talked to him about it before. Two or three years ago I told him he could move in with my family. My parents loved him. Mum still does and the offer is still open but he never took it." He explained. I shook my head as if it would make the information compute. The action didn't work, to say the least.
"Why? He's in pain-"
"Money, Zeke." Ashton answered. "I told my parents about it. They called social services but he acted fine and his parents pretended like it was okay. From then on Maer didn't like me too much, but she knows I would do it again so she let me see him still. Fact of the matter is, he's never been allowed to get a job. His life has been planned out since they conceived him. He's supposed to grow up, go to college, get his business degree and then work in the family's company until he takes it over from his parents."
"That's not-"
"He has no money of his own. His parents are supposed to pay for college. He's going to work part-time at the company after he finishes school while getting his degree. All he has to do is stay home until he gets through college, then he'll have to make do from there with the account they have ready for him when he turns 21 which I think has a couple million in it or something ridiculous like that." He said. I furrowed my brow and shook my head again.
"That's manipulation-"
"Yes, it is. He won't listen to me. The amount of times I've told him to leave has got to be in the hundreds. You can try talking to him about it. Might just need the same words told to him from a different person. I look at this way; I don't worry while the both of his parents are out of the country. When Maer is here, I'm on alert, but he can take care of himself, just might need some comfort. When his father is here... I never put my phone on silent, rarely sleep, just in case he needs me. If you can give him an out, a plan, it might help, but then again I have tried that so..."
"A plan?"
"Yeah, a plan of attack to get him out of there."
"Maer's gone for the moment, right?" I asked. He nodded. "I am going to make another huge mistake, but let's do it." I said, walking back towards the front door. "Thank you."
"I don't think you should thank me." He said.
"Why not?"
"I didn't help you."
"No, you didn't, but you helped me decide so you kind of did?" I responded.
"So I'm not getting the threatening brother talk?" He asked, which was something I had already forgotten about, so I walked back over to him. I pretended to be taking a pin out of an imaginary cork board.
"Alright, what the fuck are your intentions with my sister?" I asked him.
"I... I am mostly just confused. She... she said she likes me, and I didn't get to respond because you fucking interrupted us." He said, squeezing his hands into fists to release some tension before letting them relax again.
"You like her back?" I asked him, his eyes widened.
"I hadn't really thought..." his eyebrows furrowed as he looked away from me. God, this boy was lost. I put my hands on his shoulders and made him look at me.
"There is no threatening brother talk, okay? Not with me. I know she can take care of herself. However, I highly recommend you working your shit out before you go up those stairs because we both know she lacks patience. If you don't like her, you need to tell her, but I think we both know better than that."
"How do we both know?"
"I've seen you two, you fucking idiot. Banter, support, me walking in on you two cuddling on the fucking couch, you buying very expensive tickets for today, which wasn't a date but was a date that neither of you knew about." I said, not really having the patience to solve this right now, but knowing he needed some direction. I let go of his shoulders since I felt like I made my point.
"It's just so sudden that-"
"What happened today?"
"Well, I got really close to her. Like faces this-" he held his fingers about two inches apart "-close. Then she started acting even more weird. Why am I talking to you about this?"
"Because I'm available. Best option you've got. I bet that being that close she thought about... you know..."
"Thought about me kissing her." He said, but there was a strain in his voice as he took half a step backwards. Or maybe not a strain, an understanding?
"Did you have that thought?" I asked. He looked at me with a slightly gaped mouth before nodding.
"But that's something I think about whenever I get close to a girl..." he trailed off. "Kind of... maybe."
"This seems like the soul searching part of your journey, so I am going to go. Okay? Good luck. I will hear all about it however this goes so tread carefully." I said, leaving him there in confusion as I ran back to my car, shoved the key into the ignition and started driving to Xavier's house.
Without Maer there, hopefully he would be more relaxed and actually give me the time of day. Fuck, I should be a comedian.
After the fifteen minute drive, I parked on the side of the road in front of Xavier's house. Why was I still doing this? He clearly didn't want me or didn't want to want me. I took a deep breath and got out of the car, because even if this didn't end the way I wanted it, I could at least help someone get out of a shit situation and that accounted for something, right?
My feet carried me to the front entrance, and I froze when I reached the monstrosity of a door. This was a bad idea. He wouldn't listen to me if he didn't even listen to his best friend, since god knows when. I was nothing to him.
I was about to walk away when the door opened and Xavier stared at me with those fucking green eyes that almost knocked me off my feet whenever I saw them.
"How did you..." I trailed off, realising he wasn't dressed to leave the house, which meant he had come to answer the door. He simply pointed at the camera in the door bell.
"Motion sensor in it. Turns the camera on and sends a notification with an image of the person to my phone. You don't need to worry about my parents. I learned how to hack it years ago so I could have parties without them knowing." He said, also answering my next question. "Why are you here? I thought I made it clear last time that I didn't want you around me."
"I wish I fucking knew."
"Why do you keep coming back? I don't-"
"Because I think you are fucking amazing, okay? I've loved those fucking eyes of yours for a year, and I'm not expecting anything back from you. I thought you reciprocated some of it, but apparently you don't and that's fine. Whatever. But I can't let you stay here when your parents do that shit to you-"
I was cut off by him dragging me into the house by my shirt. Immediately I turned around to yell at him for manhandling me, but he was checking the street before closing the door gently behind him and turning to face me with bloodshot eyes. Was he about to cry?
Oh shit, he was.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"It's not your fault." He cut me off, looking at the floor while clenching his fists. He was trying to push his emotions down.
"Hey, don't do that."
"What?" He didn't even look up at me.
"Don't push it all down..."
His green eyes finally looked up to me again, the colour even more bright than normal with the tears brimming his eyes. He looked around, not seeming to know what to do, and I didn't move to comfort him either. Last time I did, he still kicked me out, and I think he knew that was why I wasn't moving from the way his face contorted in pain for a moment.
"I... I can't." Was all he could say, and I heard how broken his voice was. "I know what you're going to ask me to do, but I can't leave."
"Yes, you can, you need to. Look at what it's doing to you, what your parents are doing to you." I said. He shook his head.
"I don't have a fucking dollar to my name, it's all them-"
"Which is why you need to leave!" I cut him off. He didn't say anything else, defeated as he just stared at me. He was probably tired of this conversation if he and Ashton had gone through it as many times as Ashton said they had. "What's your plan? Tell me what your plan is and we can talk through it together, to see if it's going to work or if you aren't going to make it to the end of college." The way he looked at me as I spoke, the bitterness and the sadness and the fear.
"I was going to ride it out, do what they tell me. How else am I supposed to get through?"
"Be honest with me. What you say won't leave this room, I swear, but I need to hear the answer." I said. He nodded as he took in a shaky breath. "If you follow through with what they tell you, how long until you'll want out of everything? Until the only escape you'll see is by being forever... twenty-five?" I threw out a random number. He shook his head. "Twenty-three?" I asked. He shook his head again, almost seeming angry with my question. "Nineteen?" I asked, knowing he was eighteen. If he didn't think he would make it through another year, then maybe that would be the push he needed.
I gave him a moment to process what I had said, what it implied, but he never shook his head. Instead, the tears fell down his face and his breathing turned ragged and panicky. Hell, I couldn't stay back anymore. I rushed over to him, looping my arms under his, around his torso as his knees seemed to give out and his emotions came out in a flood.
The couch was only a few feet away, so I edged us over to it and sat him down next to me. I kept holding him against my chest as I realised what I had just done, what I had said and what his reaction meant. He didn't think he would make it another year or two here.
I doubt Ashton had ever gone that hard on him, but here I was, holding nothing back.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He whispered, incapable of much more, when his crying subsided, leaving him with occasional hiccoughs from how hard his emotions had left his body. "I can't leave."
"Why not?" I asked, whispering as well to match his own voice.
"Because, I have no money-"
"Yeah, but you're alive." I said. His body went rigid in my arms before he sat up and looked me in the eye.
"Uh..." He didn't seem to know how to respond.
"Look, I was in foster care because... social services took from my family me when I was young. I luckily don't remember much of it, but what I do... I know that being taken from them was best for me. Then I found Kelley and Dave and everything has worked out. But if I was in that house still, I doubt I would have made it. That you have made it this far shows how fucking strong you are. Your parents think they can control you with money, because you're scared you won't make it by yourself. Use the strength you have, you'll make it." I told him. He let out a slow breath but shook his head.
"I won't. I've never had a job, Zeke. I have nothing. I can't make it by myself."
"I doubt that. I saw what was in your room. Do you use all that expensive shit, or can you sell some to get a start?" I asked. He furrowed his brow as he realised what I was saying made sense, that maybe he hadn't thought of it before.
"What if they come after me for theft?"
"They provided that to you as caregivers to their child. It's yours. They can try to argue that, but I doubt it would work." I said. "And you won't be alone. Ashton said that you can still move in with them. I can help you find a job. Your friends won't leave you."
"But I can't-"
"You and your idiot friends, you're more than that. Might not be blood, but you're family. Family helps each other when they need it, no questions asked. You really think they would snub you because you left your abusive household?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head.
"I need to think about it." He whispered, and I understood. This wasn't a simple decision to make. From the outside where I stood it was but I wasn't in it. It wasn't my life it would affect. "You're not angry..."
"Why would I be? This isn't a small decision." I said. He reached over and took my hand in his. All I could do was freeze at his touch, staring at where he had interlaced our fingers. When I looked up to his face, I saw a curious expression on his face, as if him holding my hand was an experiment and he wanted to see what the outcome would be. So I squeezed his hand, just slightly, and watched his eyes widen for a second in shock. I almost thought he might let go of my hand, but he squeezed my hand back.
He kept staring at our interlocked hands while he said, "thank you for understanding. Ashton has told me I should leave far too many times to even bother counting, but aside from saying I could live with his family, he didn't... there weren't any other solutions that he gave me. No other plans. No comparison to being alive without money over not being here at all."
"Sometimes we just need an extra push to force us into realisation." I said. He nodded slowly.
"I've hated this part of myself since I felt it, especially more after Leah had to leave and I knew I would end up with the same fate. Thinking that I don't have to be in this house, I wouldn't have to worry about that..."
"You feel like you can breathe?" I asked him. His eyes finally left our hands and landed on my eyes. "This is a part of who you are. Pushing it down and denying it must have been suffocating. But I also don't want you to think you need to attach yourself to me because I've shown interest." He shook his head, shuffling closer to me on the couch, and I swear all the oxygen left my lungs as his leg brushed mine.
"You said that you've loved my eyes for a year..." He trailed off. "That day, I think I know what day you're talking about. The one with the fucking frog, right?" I nodded slowly. "I barely remember the dead frog, or the other two messing around with it. I remember your azure eyes looking right into mine. Every girl since then had to have blue eyes, just to try to convince my brain that it's their eyes I see when I go to sleep and not yours. It never worked..."
"My sister is on that list." I said quietly. He grimaced.
"Yeah, that was a mistake." He said, "the terror of my parents just kept me locked up inside my own fucking body. And I know what I'm about to ask you is completely and utterly selfish, but I need to ask, anyway."
"What is it?" I asked, needing to know what his question was. His eyes were boring right into mine. There was still a glint of fear there.
"You're comfortable with who you are, but I'm not yet. I can't be while I'm in this house, and I understand if you say no, but I... will you wait for me to be ready?" He asked, and I felt my heart both shudder with excitement and shatter with pain. Wait for him to be ready?
"Xav, I-"
I was cut off by his hand on the back of my neck and his lips on mine, the kiss taking me so much by surprise that I didn't even move or respond to him before he pulled away. As he did, I suddenly felt more empty, more alone, which I had never felt before. When he looked at me he wasn't angry or surprised at my lack of response. He seemed understanding of it.
"Sorry..." He trailed off, the apology genuine. Seeing the pain in his eyes at the rejection made my stomach twinge. "I really shouldn't have done that. It was impulsive and-"
I cut him off by pulling him to me, grabbing his shirt to close any distance between us, and crashing my lips against his. He kissed me back, but I pulled away before I could get too invested.
"I like impulsive." I told him, but I didn't smile. "But I am impatient too. I can wait, but not for long, so you need to make your decision fast. If you need help to get out, message me, call me, talk to me." I said before standing up from the couch. I couldn't stay any longer, not knowing everything I thought he felt was real. And not knowing that he may decide to stay here.
He didn't say anything to stop me as I walked to the front door and walked out of the house.