Eddie was nervous. He was nervous because he hadn't talked to nor seen Steve in days. He was nervous because he feared that Steve might end things officially once the two men talked. He had no idea what to expect. No idea how Steve would react. But he was also excited to see Steve again. His heart beat faster the closer he got to the video shop that Steve was working at. His hands felt sweaty on the steering wheel of his van and he wiped each one by one on his skinny jeans — the nervousness was taking over. He felt a pit in his stomach. This was the most nerve-wrecking moment he had ever found himself in. He hadn't even been this nervous and anxious going into the Upside Down where they fought against literal monsters.
Eddie pulled into the parking lot in front of Family Video and shut off his car. He nervously tapped his steering wheel, his heartbeat so loud in his ears it almost drowned out the music coming from the radio of his car. Eddie took a few deep breaths, tried to calm down, relax a little. This was Steve after all. Steve who he loved so much and who he knew cared about Eddie a lot, too. But exactly that's what made it so much worse. Because what if Steve's feelings for Eddie weren't enough?
Was Eddie going to walk into that shop just to get his heart broken for good? Could his heart break past a mending point? Eddie wasn't sure he'd ever recover from losing Steve if it were to happen. Never before has he felt this way about anyone. And him and Steve had been through so much together, their bond was special, it was unique. The love Eddie felt for the other guy was something incredible, magical, everlasting. Maybe Eddie was overexaggerating. Perhaps he would be fine eventually after Steve dumping him. But it sure as hell would take a damn long time.
Eddie looked into the rear view mirror of his van and brushed his fingers through his messy looking hair, trying to tame his wild locks. He sighed when he came to the conclusion that his hair just wasn't to be tamed and then he shook his head, it didn't matter anyways. The look of his hair surely wasn't going to be the deciding factor whether Steve still wanted to be with him or not. Eddie sighed heavily. He had to get out of his car and walk over the parking lot to that shop. It was now or never. He had to go talk to Steve now before he had the chance to change his mind and go back home instead. The worry was threatening to get the better of him and he quickly had to stop it before it actually took over.
Each of Eddie's steps towards the video shop was filled with dread. Dread of what might happen. So many whats and ifs. What if Steve had changed his mind about Eddie? What if Steve didn't even want to give Eddie the chance to talk to him? What if, what if, what if. He couldn't allow himself to think that way any longer. He stopped in his tracks for a few moments, looking over at the shop where he saw Steve talking to a pretty blonde girl through the window. His heart sank. Steve looked happy. He was smiling at the girl, laughing about something she said.
And in that moment it felt like Eddie's worst fear had become reality. It was irrational to think that way. For all Eddie knew that girl was just a random customer and Steve was letting his charme work its magic to get the girl to leave some money in the store. Of course he was friendly, of course he was charming. He was just doing his job. He was just being Steve.
Yet, Eddie couldn't stop the negative thoughts flooding his brain. What if he would ask the girl out on a date? Eddie knew that's something Steve used to do all the time. Robin had told him about the scoreboard she had made for all the failed attempts at getting a date Steve had at the place the two of them worked at before. Could Steve have gotten over Eddie that quickly?
Eddie shook his head and proceeded to walk towards the shop. He couldn't allow his thoughts to drift off any further and imagine the worst possible outcome of things. He was just freaking himself out over nothing. Just as he reached the door and was about to step inside the blonde girl he had seen through the window slipped out, looking back over her shoulder and smiling at Steve, waving her hand a little before she walked away to her car. Eddie watched after her with a raised eyebrow for a moment and a sick feeling in his stomach. He tore his gaze away from the girl and then he finally entered the store.
Steve's face changed upon laying eyes on Eddie. An unreadable expression took over him. The smile he had on his face while talking to the pretty blonde had faded completely. Eddie gulped, suddenly wondering if he had made the right decision to go to the video shop after all. He stood by the door, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other, as he was fighting the urge to turn around and leave again. He had to talk to Steve. Sooner or later. Might aswell do it right then. So instead of turning around Eddie stepped up to the register. Steve and him looked at each other for a moment, neither of them saying a word. Then Robin came out of the breakroom and her face lit up in a bright smile as she saw Eddie.
"Eddie!", she beamed and walked over to him, pulling him into a quick hug. Eddie only half-heartedly hugged her back, feeling entirely incapable of returning her smile and her positive energy in that moment. The girl let her eyes wander from Eddie to Steve and back to Eddie, clearly reading the tension in the room. She knew how much both guys were struggling with the situation. She knew how important it was for them to finally talk about it. "You guys can talk in the back. I'll take care of the store on my own for now", she quickly said and pointed to a door behind the register that led to the breakroom.
Steve looked at Robin and then his eyes darted to Eddie for just a split second before he focused his gaze back on his best friend. She nodded slightly at Steve and then busied herself sorting through some VHS tapes. Eddie was playing with the hem of his shirt, unsure of what to do, as he looked at Steve. They had been so close not long ago and now it seemed like there were lightyears worth of distance between them.
How could things have changed so much in such a short time? Eddie swallowed hard and then stepped to the back of the store as Steve motioned for him to follow. Steve closed the door behind them after both men had entered the breakroom of Family Video. It was a rather small space, a table with two chairs, a yellow-ish lighting illuminating the space only dimly. Steve leaned his back against the closed door and folded his arms over his chest.
"Why'd you come here?", Steve asked. His voice was so cold. So much colder than Eddie would have ever expected. Eddie gnawed on his lower lip, playing with a ring on his finger. Where should he start? What should he say first?
"We need to talk, Steve", Eddie said, trying his best to make his voice sound much more confident than he felt in that moment and ran a hand through his hair. He flopped down on one of the wooden chairs by the small table and looked up at Steve through his lashes.
"Eddie, I- I don't know what to tell you", Steve sighed heavily and sank down to the floor, his back resting against the door. Steve pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as he looked up to the guy he had missed so dearly over the past few days. Steve wanted nothing more than to fix what was broken, but he didn't know how it would ever work out if his own parents were so against it.
"Don't you want to be with me anymore, Steve? Because if that's the case at least just say it. I've been wrecking my brain about what you're thinking and what's going on between us for days now. I can't keep on living like this. This uncertainty is killing me", Eddie cried, his voice broke as tears started to fall from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.
Eddie felt like things were ending right then and there and he didn't know what to do to stop it from happening. Steve didn't seem all that fussed about the situation, didn't seem as sad as Eddie was. Eddie's eyes had been red and swollen from all the crying he had done before he even went into the shop that day. But Steve? Steve hadn't looked like that. Steve had looked just fine. And even now that Eddie was crying once again, with Steve right there, the latter didn't seem to be all that affected by it.
It was silent in the room for a little while. The silence occasionally being disrupted by Eddie's sniffling. Steve still sat on the ground, his face buried in his hands as his mind was running wild. There were so many things that needed to be said, he knew that, but yet he sat there unable to speak a word. Steve knew what he wanted and he also knew what his parents wanted. Both were different things and it was hard for him to decide whether to go with his heart or to go by the opinion of the people whose house he lived in.
Where would he go if they kicked him out? He barely made enough money at the video shop to get his own place. Things would be difficult for him, that was for sure, but wasn't it worth it? Weren't all the rocks life was throwing in your path unimporant when you followed your heart and found yourself to be truly happy? There's always a way to overcome things. It could work, it really could, as long as they tried.
Steve looked up to Eddie who had turned his side to Steve and was currently wiping his sleeve over his eyes, drying his face that was wet from tears. Steve bit his lip. What should he do? He wasn't sure. He did know though, that seeing Eddie like that tore his heart apart. He had never meant for any of this to happen. Had never meant for Eddie to feel that way.
When is parents came home unexpectedly that one day he had seen his life flash before his eyes. Telling his parents about being in love with another man had never been an option. He had been terrified of how they would react, of what they would say. He knew as much as that it wouldn't have been a pleasent conversation to have. And when they saw Steve and Eddie in their own living room on that one rainy fall day, most of the things he had expected did come true. His parents were outraged about the scene they had found in their home that day.
Of course, they hadn't actually seen anything. Steve could just act clueless and pretend like nothing really happend. But he feared they didn't quite buy it. And he knew that if something like that happened again it would be over. He'd be kicked out of the only home he's ever known and disowned and forced to fend for himself unsure of where to go. His parents had made themselves pretty clear about it. But was all of that worse than letting go of the love of your life?
Steve lifted himself up from the ground and walked over to Eddie who looked up at him as he heard Steve move. Eddie's eyes were puffy and red, even more so than they had been when he first walked into the store that day, but he had stopped crying. Steve crouched down in front of his boyfriend — at least he hoped that Eddie still was just that — his boyfriend — after everything that had happened. Steve placed a hand on Eddie's thigh and lifted the other one up to Eddie's cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. Eddie didn't pull away, or move Steve's hands off him, so Steve just assumed that it was okay.
And it was. Eddie's heart started to beat faster the moment Steve's hand touched his cheek. He looked the other guy deeply in the eyes as he was crouched in front of him. Eddie just wanted everything to go back to normal — back to how it was for the past few weeks when the two were happy together. Of course, things weren't easy, they had never been and might never be, but he was sure they could make it work if only they tried their hardest.
What they had together was worth it all. Steve loved Eddie and Eddie loved Steve and yet neither of them had told the other and maybe that had been their mistake. Because both of them had been too scared to admit their love for one another since it was the first time for both of them that they had loved like that. Loved that deeply and unconditionally.
Looking back it was crazy how they even managed to stay apart from each other for several days. Both of them had been feeling miserable. Maybe Steve had an easier time acting like everything was fine because it's something he had learned over the years. Never show weakness, be a man. It's things that his father had preached over and over so many times.
Steve knew now that it was bullshit, but back when he was younger, back when he was naive and gullible and just a kid he believed his father's words. He believed that boys shouldn't cry, that boys shouldn't show emotions. Be a man. What child really questions the things their parents teach them? When you're so young your parents' words are all you know and who are you to say that what they tell you isn't the truth? It's not like you know better when you're only a child.
Steve learned as he got older that not everything his parents had always told him was the truth after all. He knew that it was okay for him to cry, it was okay for him to show how he really felt. Yet he had been through so much in the past few years, there never had been much time to cry, nor had he really felt the need to. He had learned to control himself, learned to eat his feelings up, lock them up deep inside. It wasn't something that just changed over night.
But as he looked up at Eddie — looked him right into those brown doe eyes of his, he felt an incredible heaviness on his heart. A heaviness he'd felt for days, but didn't allow himself to give into because he felt that maybe he'd just feel worse. Maybe if he actually started to cry he would never stop. He hadn't cried in years so perhaps once he started all the tears he had held back for so long would start flooding out of him like a huge tsunami, tearing down every wall he had ever built around himself.
Eddie placed a hand on Steve's cheek and gently caressed his skin and that's when it happened. That's when the tears came pouring out of his eyes, down his cheeks. But he didn't sob, he didn't make any noise, he just sat there silently, tears running over his face, wetting his cheeks and Eddie's hand in the process. And Steve didn't do anything to stop it. He didn't bite his tongue and wipe his eyes, pushing the tears away, forcing them to stay in his eyes. No, it was time to just let things happen naturally.
"I love you", Steve whispered. It was the most natural thing to say. Because it was the truest thing he'd felt in forever. The trusted thing he had ever felt possibly. Steve didn't know if it was the right time. Maybe it wasn't. Perhaps it had been the worst time possible to say it. He had never before told Eddie that he loved him. But it just felt right. It felt like it was the only logical sentence that could have left his mouth in that moment.
"I love you, too", Eddie replied after sitting silent in shock for a few moments. He had expected anything but that. For so long he had worried that Steve might not like him enough, might not care about him enough, that he thought maybe Steve didn't actually love him. But hearing him say it was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. Eddie felt like he could breathe freely again.
Steve smiled up at the metalhead through his tears as he stood up. He cupped Eddie's face in his hands and leaned in, connecting their lips. The kiss was hungry. They both had been longing for each other for days, stupidly wasting their precious time on this earth not talking.
"God, really, you two? Can't you do this somewhere else, I just wanted to go get something to drink and this is what I see", Robin groaned as she walked in on the two young men making out as if it was their last time. Steve and Eddie pulled apart. Their cheeks were red and they were both breathing heavily as they looked over to the blonde girl standing in the doorframe with arms folded over her chest as she rolled her eyes playfully. A big grin was plastered on her freckled face. Eddie shrugged with a chuckle and Steve scratched the back of his head, a crooked smirk on his lips.
"Sorry you had to see this, Rob", Steve apologized for the both of them. Robin shook her head.
"I'm honestly glad you two are back together." With that she left the room, closing the door behind her and Steve turned back to Eddie and didn't waste another second before he crashed his lips into those of the man he loved more than anything once again. Steve and Eddie both knew right then and there that they would never let anything or anyone get between them ever again.
A/N
this is the end of the story, so yeah, hope you liked it!