Hafeez
"...how's she doing now?" I asked as I sat upright on the bed and stared at one of my favorite pictures of her, which I had made the wallpaper on my laptop. That was what had been keeping me going in the past few weeks; looking at her pictures and imagining she was right by my side.
I was speaking to Adnan by the way, He had been one of the people really holding it down for me, he was basically the pillar keeping me up there when my emotions try to bring me down, and Without his support, the citadel of my confidence would've crumbled, the tendrils of my hope would've withered and I would've messed everything up long ago.
"She's getting better, please don't worry" he replied, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince both me and himself, like an attempt to make me calm down.
"You know I have to worry, you said she has been throwing up and-" I had to cut myself off when I heard him laugh, despite the fact that he could hear the panic in my voice.
"She threw up just once, It was only after we had dinner yesterday, and immediately after, it was like nothing even happened. It was probably just food poisoning, so there's really no need to worry so much, she's perfectly fine" he insisted.
"Are you sure?"
"You know I'd let you know if something was wrong" he said, to which I sighed, knowing He was right "just relax, Believe me when I tell you that she's in a good place both mentally and physically, she's currently even outside having a zoom meeting with her team"
That made me calm down a bit, but still not enough to make me stop worrying. I felt like flying over there just so I could be right by her side.
"As great as that sounds, I just can't be at ease no matter how hard I try to. I'll only feel better if I get to see her, but of course that won't be possible because she's literally in the other side of the world" I said, ending it with a sigh "I really don't think I can do this anymore, I can't wait any longer"
"You shouldn't start thinking like this, not when you're so close to the end," he replied "this is where your patience is needed; put your emotions aside, think victory thoughts, and envision how you want to end up when the battle ends,"
"That's the problem, I don't think I have anymore patience left in me, and if I do, then it's running out fast!" I said "her pain is increasing as each day goes by and I can't do anything to stop, you have no idea how much that breaks my heart Adnan"
"I know, I understand how you're feeling, but whatever you're doing is for her own sake, you're doing what you can to protect her"
"Yes, but at what cost? Her health?" I asked "that is the most important thing to me and if it's going to be tampered with, then I see no point in doing all of this, I can't hold on anymore"
"She will be fine, that I promise you," He said "but it'll be the opposite for you if you decide to stop now. just give it a little more time,"
"But why do I have to keep waiting when I can bring everything to an end right now? I could just-"
He cut me off "well, You know very well who you're dealing with, so losing control over yourself would be like shooting yourself in the leg just when you're about to cross the finish line," He replied, and again, he was right "you have to be patient. I know Waiting is painful, testing and arduous. I know you're restless, but when it finally rains after months of blazing heat, the feeling is too miraculous to capture in words, the relief that comes with it makes up for all the trouble one had to through,"
Waiting really is painful, especially when that thing you're waiting for seems so close yet too far at the same time, and it was worse for me because the one thing I don't have in this world is patience. So it was basically like I was being grilled alive, but I couldn't possibly make the mistake of letting my emotions get ahead of me, not at that moment at least.
"I have to go now so she doesn't get suspicious, I can see her giving me a weird look already," He said, lowering his voice a little "I'll keep you updated on whatever is going on"
"Okay. Thanks bro"
"I got you"
It was only a second between the line going dead and me falling back into my well of thoughts, which came hand in hand with that emotion I had been trying to avoid; anger.
I had been trying to avoid it because it was a paralyzing emotion that stops me from being able to get anything done. it makes me helpless and absolutely lose control. Though the urge to hurry was beginning to beat through my brain, I knew that was the one thing I couldn't do. Not if I wanted things to go well.
people say that time is money, and I couldn't possibly agree any more. each choice you make has its cost, and delays as a choice to not take action, usually leads to decrease in output.
Patience on the other hand, they say is virtue. And like Adnan said, what patience couldn't give you, impatience will not give it to you, but my own case was totally different because I didn't have a single ounce of patience in me, maybe I did at first, but at that moment, it had completely drained out, all I was feeling was restlessness and just the need to press a forward button that get me to the point I so badly wanted to be in, but I knew it was basically impossible, and much to my dislike, I had no choice but to wait.
And that was the reason for my anger.
That 'waiting' felt worse than anything one could possibly think of. I felt tortured and imprisoned. I used to say that maybe, that little patience I thought I had was being tested, but no, that was straight up torture. when circumstances beyond your control force you to wait with baited breath knowing the outcome will affect your life substantially, that is true torture. It is a cage inside a burning building where every exit is blocked by angels calmly advising you to wait a moment longer. Your choice is to either trust their words or madly claw through them, which I was seconds away from doing because I couldn't take it anymore.
I was eager to just...end this bullshit and finally pour out every single feeling I suppressed inside me for all these months. I had no idea what I was going to do yet, but I knew it would be brutal. It's one thing to come at me directly, but another thing entirely to come for my babe, the love of my life, someone who means the entire world to me. That was the biggest mistake anyone could possibly ever make because when it comes to her, I'll do anything possible to protect her without caring about the outcome. I was ready for war at that moment, and I couldn't wait to unleash the dragon.
It had been over 5 weeks since she packed her bags and left, I remember it vividly. That moment broke me in half like a dry tree branch. Tears poured from her eyes without any change in her facial expression, That was the purest form of pain. I could see how heartbroken she was through her eyes, she didn't even try to hide it, she completely allowed herself to surrender to her sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, and appreciating its subtle nuances. She became a prism through which that horrible emotion could be divided into its infinite spectrum.
All I wanted was to hold her tightly in my arms, wipe her tears and let her that I love her so much, so fucking much that I felt it straight to my bone marrow. I wanted to let her know that she meant everything to me, and that I didn't just love her, but I needed her too, she improved me, Something about her, something I still don't understand, had a way of amplifying the good in my nature while muting the bad. She was a catalyst for my soul.
I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, I thought of them as poor deluded individuals grasping at a supernatural ideal that is not intended for humans but sounded wonderful in a poetry book, and Then, I met her, and everything changed, her beauty captured me, and no, I'm not referring to her face, I'm talking about her heart this time. That converted the cynic and made me believe that falling in love is in fact real.
Yes, I used to think she was annoying, but I knew she was the real deal from the moment I heard her speak. Her words were always powerful and She had a certain way about her that sucked me in. It was beyond my better logic and I hated the way she made me feel, I mistook it for helplessness; lack of control. I thought she was dangerous because I had never seen a lady so bold, focused and independent, But I later realized that she aspired nothing but harmony and serenity, she had so much love to give and is simply the best thing that ever happened to me.
Even a second without her by my side was torture, yet I had to go through to that for over 5 weeks. I missed her so much, and I felt her absence. it was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. you wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know that they were gone. it was so weird, my body doesn't function normally anymore, and my heart was not steady. I was lonely, which should be a good thing as it would allow me to focus, but thats until I look at my hands and the spaces between my fingers, where hers fit perfectly. That brings a heart wrenching feeling no one deserves to go through, and it only gets worse.
I missed her kisses and the way I slept in her warm embrace. I missed the way she made me eat the delicious breakfasts she made, I missed the way she made me laugh even if I wasn't in the mood, I missed the soft lines around her enchanting eyes when she smiled at me, I missed that look she always gave me that I cannot begin to describe - but I would know it if I saw it again, I missed her her scent, I missed her hair, I missed the how soft and fair her hands are, I just....I missed everything about her And it was seconds away from driving me insane.
She had grown to be a part of me, one that is the most important, so protecting her wasn't just a right, it was a duty, and I was ready to carry it out no matter what.
"...Excuse me sir?" I was snapped out of my thoughts when my bedroom door was pushed further open, followed by Nengi's voice.
"Yes?"
"Your Mom asked me to call you"
I furrowed my eyebrows at that "my Mom? Did she come here?"
"Yes sir. She's downstairs at the lounge room"
I'm usually wrong at predicting things but you see that particular one, I was sure that trouble was lingering around, Because if Mama wanted to see me, why didn't she just call me? Why did she have to come all the way to my house?
"Okay, let's go"
I raised to my feet and immediately made my way out of the room, with her following me closely behind until we got to the lounge room, where she went back to the kitchen while I joined Mama, who's expression was not what anyone would like to see.
"Good evening M-"
"Where is Aya?"
I wasn't given a chance to say or do anything because she was completely uninterested, and I could hear the anger in her voice, which ended up confusing me to the extent that I didn't know what to say to her.
"Answer me Hafeez," she calmly said "Na ce Ina Aya?; I said where is Aya?"
Again, I tried to think of what to say but nothing came. Actually, no, the answer was right there, but I couldn't risk saying it as that would completely mess everything up. That was my greatest obstacle at that moment, the biggest of all the boulders littering my path. I wanted to tell her what was going on but I didn't want her to get worried, which was likely to happen.
"She's in Egypt"
She furrowed her eyebrows "Egypt?"
"Yes"
"Why is she in Egypt? Alone?"
"She's not alone, she's with Adnan-"
"why is she in Egypt?!" She raised her voice, which made me feel like I was in police custody.
"s-she needed some space, because of Majeed and everything that happened"
"You're lying!" She said "if 'needing space' was the reason why she left, then Majeed isn't the problem here, you are, because she wouldn't have felt the need to leave in the first place if you were the support system she needed" I could feel her eyes boring holes into my skin, which actually scared me "what did you do to her Hafeez? What did you do that made her think distancing herself from us is the best option?"
I knew it would be of no use to to tell more lies because my mom could see right through me, she would be able to tell that I wasn't saying the truth within a second, but I did it anyway.
"I didn't do anything Mama, I promise I didn't" I shook my head "and she's not distancing herself, she just-"
"It is so bold of you to assume you can easily fool me, do I look like a small child to you?" She said, or rather, yelled "ever since you married Aya, she has never switched her phone for more that an hour except if there was a problem, and still at that she would try her best to let at least Asma know, but now it's been over 5 weeks, she left out of the blue without anyone's knowledge and up to this moment, not even a text message from her has been received," the voice got higher "I know my daughter more than you think, for her to have taken such a step can only mean that she was pushed to the wall and I can see the guilt written all over your face, so tell me what you did to her before I lose my temper!"
That was thee worst position for anyone to be in; being confronted by an angry parent. My mother is the most patient person I could think of who's seldom seen in a state of anger, she ignores almost everything and puts her peace of mind first, so for her to be raising her voice that high and shooting me such a deadly glare, I knew she was incredibly upset.
"I really thought you had sense Hafeez, I thought you knew what you were doing, but this....this just proves that I don't even know the type of person I raised," at that moment, I could tell I was seconds away from getting a slap, which made me shift a bit further because Mama's slap was incomparable "despite the pain she had to go through because of seeing Majeed and The horrible things Hajiya said to her, you still did something else to rub more salt on her wounds, and you don't seem to care. Your lawfully wedded wife who's in need of your presence and support at the moment hasn't been in the country for 3 whole weeks and I'm very sure you have not made a single effort to at least check up on her, talk more of standing by her side and making her feel protected like the husband you're supposed to be, instead you're just casually relaxing and looking for ways to defend yourself and your ego because you're very very stupid!"
"Mama I-"
"Shut up!" She yelled "just shut up! Don't say anything to me because Wallahi Tallahi, ka ji Na rantse, I will slap you. All you can offer is words to defend yourself anyway and I'm not interested in that, so shut up!"
And I did as she said. I went back to looking at the Turkish carpet I was seated on and playing with my fingers while trying so hard to not let my emotions get the best of me.
"I want her back now! Do you hear me?" She said, giving me another one of the most intimidating looks I had ever gotten in my life "just bring her back home!"
I gulped, knowing that things were about to get much worse for me because there's no way I'd let Aya come back at that point, and there's also no way mama would take anything else apart from 'yes' for an answer. It would only workout if I told her what was really going on, but I was contemplating on that because I knew she would get so worried, which is why I didn't tell her anything in the first place.
"Actually, this is no home. You aren't her home" she said, shaking her head in disappointment "a home is supposed to be a safe place, a place where one is free from attack, a place where one experiences secure relationships and affirmation. It's a place where people share and understand each other. Its relationships are nurturing. The people in it do not need to be perfect; instead, they need to be honest, loving, and supportive, but you know nothing about that, all that mattered to you was accessorizing her so that You can brag to your friends about her beautiful face to pump your ego. you have no respect for her nor do you see her to be valuable. you just don't care!"
That right there cut the ropes for me. her words hit me too hard that I couldn't keep quite anymore "I do care mama, I swear I do. She's all I have in my mind every single day from morning till night and her safety is my top priority. She means everything to me," I stated, looking straight into her eyes "I care so much that nobody would ever understand-"
"Do you see you your problem?" She raised an eyebrow "you are still trying to defend yourself by saying nobody understands you. How do you want me to understand you when you have yourself wrapped around your own finger and can never ever accept it when your mistakes are being pointed out? How and why should I understand you amidst this...horrible mess you have created? You tell me!"
I sighed, again "please just trust me, please"
"Trusting you would be a total waste of time. You always do what you feel like without considering anything at all as long as it favors you. It's always about you and that's it!" she said "just do as I told you; find a way to bring her back and apologize for your stupidity. In fact, Call Adnan right now and tell him to give her the phone!"
"I'm sorry mama, but I can't do that"
"What did you just say?" At that point, she was on her feet, hovering over me and even more furious than she was before "you must be out of your mind! What do you mean you can't do that? Why can't you?"
"Because I need her to be away" I replied "I can't risk having her anywhere near me at this moment, because I don't know what I would do if anything happens to her"
She went into a pause after hearing that, almost as if she was processing the information. The confusing and fear on her face were very much evident as she sat next to me "Hafeez? wh-what are you talking about? What risk?"
"Layla" I responded, and just saying her name made anger rush through me with so much force that it was almost impossible to control "it's an incredibly long story, but to cut it short, I needed to get Aya away from Layla because she has made her a target, and there's nothing Layla cannot do to someone she feels threatened by,"
"Target?" She got even more confused "I don't understand. What-why would she make Aya a target?"
"Because She has a mission against me, and that mission is the same reason why she ever got into a relationship with me in the first place, just that I didn't realize it until I married her, after that scandal about Aya came up" I replied "She wants to take over everything I own, and she has completely weaponized herself to make it happen, but she never got the chance because somehow, just...having Aya around saved me, she never even tried to make a move on me because she was extremely intimidated by Aya, who wasn't even aware of her plots, so she wants to take her out so she can have a clear path"
"Layla is a very dangerous human being mama. envy, sloth, pride and gluttony are what she is made of and Greed is her own way of life. She is never content, never appeased, never satisfied with what she has and her demands and appetite can never be satiated. At first I thought I would be able to help her change because I used to sit alone and wonder how it was possible for someone to be as horrible as she is, I didn't think it was possible for her to actually be this awful person, but then I found out that she was raised that way, she was taught to never be satisfied that she has enough, and now She has grown into a shark that will spend it's entire life hunting and consuming, All the oceans in this world can't satisfy that eating machine"
"Then why are you still living under the same roof with her? Why did you let things come this far when you know exactly who she is and what she can do?"
"Unfortunately, that's the only way out. Layla is not someone that can be brought down easily, she goes hard for anything she sets her mind on so if I had allowed myself to think that I could easily get rid of her, then she would've automatically won already," I replied "that's the reason why I had to make it look like I'm on Her side by doing so many messed up things to Aya, I wanted her to feel suffocated and go somewhere far from here. From me, so Layla doesn't target her anymore"
It wasn't hard to guess that Mama was so horrified with everything I said, which made me wish I never said anything to her in the first place, but I couldn't help it. I was finding it really hard to keep it together at that point.
"Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun!" She blurted out, the worry evident in her voice "you should've told someone, why would you even think of handling this on your own? What if-God Forbid-she does something terrible to you?"
"I'm not on my own, I've told Baayi and Maleek some time ago, Adnan also knows, that's why he took her to Egypt with him. you're the only person I didn't want to tell because I knew you'd get worried for nothing, but I have it all under control, I promise you" I assured her "and Layla can never do anything to me, In fact, she's the one in serious trouble because I don't even care about the daylight robbery she's planning to execute on me, what bothers me the most is how she tried to ruin Aya in so many ways and compelled me to hurt her so badly in the time she needed me the most, there's no way I'd ever let her get away with that even if I wanted to"
"But....she's carrying your child Hafeez, and she could give birth at any moment" said Mama in a state of dejection, taking a little pause to shake her head "as unfortunate as it sounds, that means she's permanently bound to our family, she-"
"It's not my child" I announced, which made mama lee out a loud gasp unknowingly.
"What?"
"Yeah" I nodded "there's no way I'd ever let that fiend have such an advantage over me, she has a boyfriend somewhere and she's currently with him" I found myself smiling at that, though it was a very small snake. I just found it amazing how she must be thinking she had me in her pocket when I knew every single move of hers "I was just playing along because the baby she gives birth to will give me a chance to show Hajiya the dilemma she put me in because of her hate for Aya. I know she's my grandmother and I shouldn't speak in such a tone about her, but I just...I really want her to be ashamed of herself"
I left it at just that because I didn't want mama to think I was being disrespectful, but to be honest, I wanted Hajiya to pay for all the horrible words she said to my Baby and the tears she made her shed. I wanted her to be embarrassed when she finds out that the Layla she loves so dearly is the epitome of all the words she had been associating Aya with. I had lost the respect I had for her and it wasn't coming back anytime soon.
Mama's face on the other hand, was covered with several emotions. At one point she looked relived and relaxed, but at another, she was scared and in shock. She could clearly not believe anything she was hearing and wished it was all a dream, but she knew it wasn't and that broke her even more, she was trying so hard to hold her tears back.
"Ya Allah see us through, this is a total disaster" she said, but it sounded like a whisper as it was overshadowed by the fear in her voice "I can only imagine what Aya must be feeling right now, nobody deserves to go through that pain, especially at such a young age. I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy"
"I know mama," I agreed, feeling my anger making a comeback twice as strong as it was before "That's why I'll make sure That anyone who has ever made her cry before goes through 10 times what she did. Her tears will not go to waste, I promise!"
I could never even imagine myself standing by and doing nothing. Something inside me had been let out of its cage, and it wouldn't go back in until I've made Layla pay for hurting Aya. My anger knew no bounds, especially
When I thought of what she might be feeling, how frightened and furious and wounded she must be. That made a strange and terrible emotion twist all through me because I so badly wanted My baby in my arms and shield her from all this damned ugliness, but Layla made it impossible, and for that, I vowed to make her life absolutely miserable. I just had to do it or I would never be able to forgive myself till the end of time.
"I'm proud of you!" She patted my shoulder "I thought you were the villain here but you turned out to be the knight in a shining...sweatpants"
I found myself laughing at that, an actual genuine laugh from the heart, which I hadn't done in so long, and my laugh made Mama laugh too "where did you hear that 'knight in a shining whatever' thing Mama?"
"I'm not as old as all of you think, I'm very up to date," she replied, and she was right. Mama was a Gen Z mum without being a Gen Z mum "seriously though, I'm scared Hafeez, I'm relieved that Aya isn't a part of this mess anymore but I don't have a good feeling about you being in the same house with Layla, I don't want you anywhere near her"
"Don't worry Mama, she can't do anything, and even if she tries to, I'm ready for it" I assured her once again "just pray for me, and I'm-" I started, but was interrupted by my ringtone, which was quite loud due to the silence in the room at that moment.
I grabbed the cracked phone, which I broke earlier that morning unknowingly, to check who was calling me at 10pm. At first I thought it was Anas because he was the only person likely to call me at such a time and for no reason whatsoever, but it's safe to say that I met quite a surprise;
it happened to be Layla's mom, someone I was definitely not expecting and never would've expected.
"Hello?"
And seconds later, I got the news I had been so impatiently waiting for. I didn't even realize when a smirk took over my face.
"What happened Hafeez? Who was that?" Asked Mama, at the same time I hung the phone up.
Of course I had no time to explain, all I did was tell her to come with me as I was way too eager and the adrenaline inside me was a bit too much.
It's go time!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Heyyyyyyy 👋 Salam alaikum guys 😊
How have you been? Hope everything is well with you all ❤️
So sorry for the late update. I took some time off to mourn my friend Ruqayyah 😩 but Alhamdulillah, I'm much better now 😃 thank you to everyone who checked up on me, I really really appreciate.
So, what do you guys think about this chapter? Did you like it? And do you still want to dismantle Hafeez 😂😂😂
Chai! The poor guy suffered in the last chapter, the dragging was iconic 😭 especially from kwin_maer 😂😂😂😂😂 that comment completely offed me 💀🤣🤣😭
Thank you for reading guys, hope una enjoy oooo! See you soon 👋