A/N- lolz sorry for taking so long to update. I got hit with a random depression episode.
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When Izuku wakes tup, the sun is shining on his face and he feels something resting on his stomach. Tired and confused, he lifts up his blanket to see Ochako hugging him and her head resting on his stomach. She was sleeping peacefully and it made him smile.
He remembered everything that had happened last night. And although it hurt, he realized that everything had ended up being okay. He had Ochako back and she was his girlfriend again. He couldn't ask for anything better than that. Just the fact that Ochako forgave him was enough for him.
He gently lifts her off of him so he could get up. He was feeling hungry and he was sure his mom was home by now. Normally, he would wake Ochako up, but he knew she was tired so he let her rest.
"Good morning Izuku." Inko greets quietly. She was sitting at the dining room table with a mug in her hands. Izuku gives her a soft smile. "Good Morning." Izuku greets her, sitting down across from her.
"Did you sleep well?" She asks. That tended to be one of the daily questions she asked Izuku over the last few months. Especially since the bags under his eyes only seemed to grow darker.
Izuku nods. "Actually, I slept really well." He says. That seemed to ease Inko's mind, but she still had another question to ask.
"Did you buy snacks last night?" She asks her gaze on the plastic bag that was in the middle of the table that Ochako had brought with her.
Izuku shakes his head. "If it's about the sake, it's not mine, it's Ochakos. I didn't have any." Izuku said, giving her a sincere look. He knew she was overprotective about things like that. He could tell his answer eased her mind and he didn't want to think about the reaction she'd have if she caught him smoking.
"Ochako was here?" She asks, confused. By now she knew what happened between them and Izuku hadn't talked about her since he told his mom. Izuku mentally face palms but then remembers she would find out either way because Ochako was sleeping in his bed.
"Yeah. She came over last night. She's in my room. She's still sleeping." Izuku says, looking down, picking at his nails.
Inko takes a sip of her tea. "You should have told me. I would have brought breakfast for her as well." She says. Izuku chuckles. "Sorry. She came over really late." He says.
"Why? Do her parents know she's here?" Inko asks. She knew she wasn't supposed to pry into business that didn't involve her, but she was still concerned for Ochako. Especially since she had randomly visited late at night when she and Izuku hadn't spoken to each other in months.
"Uh. I don't think her parents know she's here. It was like almost three am when she called and got here. She was having a mental breakdown." Izuku says quietly. He didn't really want to expose Ochakos business behind her back. And he didn't want to remember any of the events of last night that made him cry. When Ochako told him she was close to committing suicide but didn't because of him, it felt like someone ripped his heart right out of his chest.
"Is she okay now?" Inko asks. Izuku nods. "I think so. She seemed happy before she went to sleep." Izuku says. Inko smiles, seeing the way her son's expression became more relaxed just by saying that Ochako was okay.
"I'm going to rest now." Inko says, standing up and putting her mug in the sink. "Make something for Uraraka when she wakes up, okay?" Izuku nods. "I will."
Izuku gets up once his mom disappears down the hallway. He heads back to his room to check on Ochako and change out his pajamas.
"Good morning Mochi." Izuku says, as he sees Ochako sitting up on his bed, her hair messy and sticking out in several directions. She looked tired, but well rested.
"Mnh. Why did you leave me? It was so warm with you here." Ochako whines, pouting after. Izuku chuckles. She was so adorable. "It's almost 10 am." He says, crossing his arms. His morning voice was still present and it made Ochakos stomach do flips, and her cheeks turn red.
Ochako rubs her eyes and lays back down. "But I'm still so tired." She groans. Izuku smiles. "You can go back to sleep. It's not like you have anything to do." Izuku says. Ochako looks up at him through her hooded eyes and blushes.
"Can you at least just sit next to me while I sleep?" She whispers. It was an embarrassing request, but just as much as Izukus scent helped her relax. This was the first morning she's ever had where she woke up without instantly grieving at the fact she wasn't dead yet. Izuku nods and innerly squeals at her cuteness.
"Of course." Izuku says. He doesn't hesitate to take his spot on the bed next to Ochako. Ochako scoots closer to him, laying on her stomach, an arm around Izuku's waist. "Is your mom home yet?" Ochako asks, closing her eyes. "Yeah. She went to sleep a few minutes ago." Izuku says quietly. Ochako hums. She assumed Izuku had told her she was there.
The room falls into a comfortable silence and Ochako drifts back to sleep at the sound of whatever video Izuku is watching on his phone.
...
When Ochako wakes up again, Izuku is still next to her and hasn't moved at all. He looks down at her and gives her that soft smile that never failed to make her blush. "Good afternoon. It's 12 pm now. Feeling better?" Ochako sits up and nods.
Izuku ruffles her hair gently. "That's good. Are you hungry? My mom said I had to make something for you when you woke up." He asks. Ochako shakes her head. "I'm... not hungry." She mumbles. That was a lie, she was starving, but she knew she would eat too much food and then want to throw it all up. And she didn't want to risk doing that at Izuku's house.
Izuku frowns, knowing she's lying. "But you need to eat. You've lost a lot of weight." He says. Ochako looks down to hide the small smile on her face. That's what she wanted. For Izuku to notice she had gotten smaller.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Izuku and he only huffs and gets up. Ochako watches as he digs around in his closet and comes back with a clean black hoodie and a pair of his smallest sweatpants. "Go take a shower while I make you food." Izuku says. Ochako pouts and takes the clothes out of his hands.
"Do I get to choose what I eat?" Ochako asks, standing up. Izuku shakes his head. "It'll be a surprise." He says, giving her a smile. Ochako nods and makes her way to the bathroom.
She shuts the door behind her–not locking it as she knew Izuku had a habit of checking on her to see if she's hurt herself or not. She pulls out her phone and wallet that had still been in her pockets and rests them on the sink counter. Her phone was dead and she was sure her parents were trying to call her. She would have to ask Izuku if he had a phone charger.
...
"I made you eggs and miso soup. Your favorite." Izuku says, placing the food in front of her. Ochakos stomach growls and she ignores the voice in her head telling her not to eat. She was starving and Izuku's cooking was her favorite. Especially since she had no idea how to cook.
"Is it good?" He asks, sitting down across from her. He can tell from the way she practically eats each egg in almost one bite. Ochako nods frantically. "Its delicious." She says before lifting the small bowl and taking a sip of her soup. Izuku chuckles at her softy and gets up to clean up the kitchen.
.......
"Do you have a phone charger? My phone is dead." Ochako asks Izuku as he walks into the living room where she was sitting on the sofa. Izuku nods. "Yeah. It's right there." He says, pointing to a small charger on the floor. Ochako quickly plugs her phone in and powers it on.
"Anything fun you wanna do today?" Izuku asks. He knew her answer would be no, but it still didn't hurt to ask. Ochako shakes her head. "I'm gonna have to go home soon and my parents are probably gonna ground me when I get back." She says. "You could always come over later though." Ochako says, pouting and sitting down next to Izuku.
He smiles. "That's okay." He says. He can't help but notice the way Ochako is extra jittery and picking at the skin on her fingers. He remembered all her small habits and recognized her actions as things she did when anxious.
"Do you have something you want to tell me?" Izuku asks, looking at her worriedly. Ochako looks up at him and narrows her eyes. There was a question she wanted to ask him last night, but never got the chance to. And honestly, she didn't want to know the answer, but it was best if she knew.
"Were you in any relationships while we were broken up?" Ochako asks quietly, so quietly it could be a whisper. Izuku's eyes narrowed. He knew that she would ask this question. "No? We weren't broken up that long." He says, averting her gaze.
Ochako's eyebrows furrowed and she continued staring at him. "You're lying." She says lowly. Izuku raises an eyebrow and looks down at her. He wasn't sure why she was being so anxious about that. It's not like he was a fuck boy that could move on from a two-year relationship in two months.
"Huh?" Izuku hums, but before he could get the rest of his sentence out, he's cut off by Ochako. "That girl from the business course. Who's tall and has pink hair? She kissed you. I saw it." Ochako says, glaring at him. "Also you smiled at her. The same way you smile at me and only me. Why?"
Izuku is slightly intimidated by her piercing look, but keeps his composure. "I didn't kiss her back. She asked me on a few dates but it was nothing romantic. I told her I wasn't interested." Izuku says. He thought that it would help him get over Ochako at first. They were just friends and he was helping her with her project for her class, but then she asked him out on a date. He accepted it, but didn't enjoy it.
Ochako closes her eyes and lets out a huff, before opening them again. It wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, but she would have been less annoyed if he hadn't lied to her.
"So why didn't you tell me that instead of saying no?" She asks gently, harshly picking at the small scabs on her fingers from picking her skin. She wasn't mad, she just didn't appreciate being lied to. "You asked if I was in a relationship with anyone. I wasn't in a relationship, I just went out with her." Izuku says, looking away from her. He wasn't annoyed with her and he knew she was sensitive to topics like this, but it bothered him that she was anxious he truly didn't love her.
"Stop being a smartass." She snaps. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks out of embarrassment and anger. "You know what I meant." She says in a softer tone, keeping her gaze down and away from Izuku.
"Why did you lie?" She asks again.
"Because of this! Because if I told you, you would probably start crying and take it the wrong way, acting as if I did it because I didn't love you anymore. Then you would go lock yourself in the bathroom and find something to cut your wrists with then make yourself throw up and be fucking insecure and pissy about it for a month!" Izuku says, his voice getting louder towards the end.
"And, you're upset because I smiled at her the "same way I smile at only you." Izuku says, using his fingers as air quotes. "Get a fucking grip, Ochako! Do you know how dumb you sound? All you do is assume everything that hurts you is on purpose and take shit out of context. Not everything is about you!"
Ochako looks up at him, being met with his pissed eyes. Her lips trembled and her eyes were widened and filled with tears, but she quickly wiped them away because she didn't want to prove him right.
She would have asked him more questions, like how she knew her, and what it meant to him. Its obvious they were friends before they had broken up, or at least knew each other, and she wanted to know why he didn't tell her about her. But based on his response just from her asking one question she assumed it was something more than he was making it out to be and she would never know. She would have to suck it up and leave it alone.
Before she could even think of something to respond back with, her phone vibrated and lit up, letting her know someone was calling her. She glares at him one last time.
"Fuck you." She growls before getting up and yanking her phone off the charger and walking down the hall to Izukus room, closing herself inside. She takes a seat on the floor, and wipes any tears that threaten to leave her eyes. As soon as she answers the call, Mina is yelling at her.
"Ochako! Where the actual fuck are you?! Do you know how stressed your parents are?! They've been trying to call you for like three hours!"
Ochako closes her eyes and pulls the phone away from her ear until Mina is done yelling. She huffed, irritated, and it took everything in her to not hang up.
"You don't have to yell. I answered the phone, which means I'm okay. What, did you think I was dead?" Ochako snarls. Everything was pissing her off.
"Yes! You snuck out of the house, you didn't let anyone know you were okay, and with the way you act, it's hard to not assume the worst!" She hears her mother yell. That's all her mom seemed to do lately. Yell at her every time she's stressed out. It didn't make Ochako feel good at all.
"I wish you were right. I wish I was dead. I should be dead, but I stopped myself for no fucking reason." She mumbles. If she knew that's what Izuku thought of her, she would have killed herself. It wasn't worth it to save herself for a boy that thought she was fucking crazy.
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop cursing? I'm not going to be nice to you because you're ill, Ochako. Being nice doesn't get you anywhere apparently." Everything she says goes in one ear and then out the other.
"Where are you?" Her mother asks, her voice somehow angrier than before. Ochako rolls her eyes, closing them for a second, then opening them again. "I'm at Izuku's house." She mumbles.
"Oh. So you're with the boy who's the reason you're getting worse? Is that why-" Her sentence was interrupted as Ochako hung up. She was so angry all she could do was sob. She ran her hands through her hair, gripping it tightly, and sobbed. She didn't care who could hear her. She didn't need to be victim-blamed, she just needed someone to comfort her.
She knew her mom had good intentions, it's just sometimes she didn't know how to handle her stress so she came off as aggressive. Ochako wasn't mad at her, but she had to put herself first and all the yelling was only making her feel even more shitty.
Then she realized. Izuku was right. She always assumed everything that made her feel bad or anything but happiness was because someone was intentionally trying to hurt her. She wasn't selfish was she? Was it selfish of her to want to protect herself from being hurt? It's not like she wanted to be the center of attention. She was just scared of someone hurting her. Even when they weren't trying to.
She exits Izuku's room and goes to the kitchen, gets her snacks, then walks to the front door to put on her shoes. "Where are you going?" She hears Izuku's voice behind her. "I'm going home so I can cry, cut my wrists, and make myself throw up at my own house in my own fucking bathroom." She growls, her voice cracking and trembling.
Izuku gets the idea that it was her parents who called her. But he still wanted to apologize. It was wrong of him to snap at her or say those things. Let alone think of them before letting them leave his mouth. He regretted it and he already fucked up again less than a day after they started dating again. "I'm sorry...for saying that stuff to you earlier." He says, looking at her worriedly.
Ochako stands up but doesn't turn around to look at him. "It's whatever." She mumbles. She didn't accept his apology. She needed more time to think about it. Right now, she just wanted to go home, let her mom tell her how much she stresses her out, then go back to sleep for the rest of the day. If she couldn't die, then she would just sleep.
Izuku looks down, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks from embarrassment, only making them grow more. He cringed as he remembered the shitty stuff he said to her. The look of pain instead of anger and her weak voice telling him to fuck himself were all he needed to realize what had left his mouth.
At least now he knew he was wrong.
"Can I at least drive you home? I don't want you to walk so far in the cold." Izuku says. He still cared about her and didn't want her to hate him for what he said.
Ochako looks over her shoulder at him, her eyes were puffy from crying and her nose and cheeks are tinted a soft pink. "Sure." She says quietly, looking away after. Izuku gives her a small smile even though she can't see it. He turns around to get his jacket and keys, before slipping on his shoes.
....
"Whatever happens that upsets you, can you tell me?" Izuku asks as they reach Ochako's house. She looks over at him, giving him a glare, before taking off her seat belt. "Okay." She says quietly.
"I'm sorry..." Izukus says gently, looking at her with a soft look. "I know. You said that already." Ochako says, before opening her door, getting out, and closing it behind her. She didn't want to slam it and be rude because she was angry he said something she needed to hear.
Ochako lets out a big sigh as she unlocks the front door with the key on her lanyard. Before she can even close the door or take off her shoes, she's squished into a tight hug from Mina.
"I'm so glad you're okay." She says. Ochako doesn't hug her back and stares blankly into space. She didn't see why everyone was so upset about her leaving. She wasn't dead, so was it really that much of a big deal?
She takes off her shoes when Mina lets go and drags her feet into the living room where she knew her parents would be waiting for her.
Her Mom gently pat's the spot from where she was sitting on the couch and crosses her arms. She saw her dad wasn't there and realized it was probably because he had to go to work. It makes Ochako groan in her head. Her mom tended to do all the yelling since her dad always apologized after and hated being mean. She got away with not having any harsh punishments when he was around and since he wasn't, she was sure she was getting the worst of the worst. She still loved her mom though. She was closer to her than her dad at the end of the day.
Ochako sits down, anxiously picking at the skin around her nails. She already knew she was wrong for putting herself in danger and leaving home at two in the morning, mid mental breakdown. She didn't need to be yelled at for it.
"You have thirty seconds to explain yourself." Her mother says sternly. Ochako looks up at her, then back down. She didn't like being forced to talk for a limited amount of time.
"I...was having a mental breakdown and I felt trapped. I felt like I was a burden. There was no reason for me to hurt myself as I did, yet I still did it. And I couldn't handle the pressure of being somewhere where I would continue to hurt the people I love the most, so I left. I was going to kill myself, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't suicidal, I just wanted to change myself." Ochako says, saying it like it was something totally normal to her. She didn't feel like sobbing over just saying a retelling of something she was already beating herself up about. She hears a sigh fall out of her mother's mouth.
"Give me a reason why I shouldn't send you back to the hospital." She asks. Her question catches Ochako off guard and she looks up, only to meet her mom's pained eyes. It hurt her to know how much she hurt others. She looks down again and stays silent.
"Because you love me...?" Ochako says it comes out as a question instead of a statement.
Her mom lets out a sigh and ruffles Ochakos hair, giving her a weak smile. "So why on earth do you think you're being a burden and hurting us." She asks. Ochako doesn't look up at her and continues to stare at the ground.
"Because...you're always yelling at me, and you only yell when you're stressed. And it's because of me. Also, you have dark eyebags that weren't there 3 months ago." Ochako whimpers.
The more she talked about her actions affecting her parents' health, the more Izukus words replayed in her head. Once again she was assuming she was the reason. Once again she was making everything about herself. Her lips trembled and she began crying again. She was trying to cry quietly, but her heart hurt and it was hard to not want to sob.
Her mother puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. She could tell something had been bothering her daughter and it was evident that she was already upset when they spoke on the phone. And her eyes were already red and puffy when she got home.
"Did something happen at Midoriya's house, sweetie?" Her mother asks gently as Ochako stuffs her head in her hands. She nods and whimpers. She didn't want to explain what had happened but she knew her mom would stop asking her.
She sniffs and rubs away tears. "Everything was fine. He let me go to his house last night cuz I didn't want to come back here and we made up. And I was so happy. I thought I'd die of heartbreak, it's like I was being fixed. But he fuck- messed everything up today." She says, her voice hoarse and whiny.
"I asked him if he was seeing someone while we were broken up. And he lied to me. When I called him out he was being a smartass. I asked him why he lied again and he said because if he didn't I would "cry and go lock myself in the bathroom and find something to cut my wrists with and make myself throw up."
Her mother lets out a gasp. "He really said that..?" She asks gently. Ochako nods. "I had pointed out that he was smiling at the girl he does the same way with me and it hurt, and he basically called me selfish because "every time something hurts me I think someone did it on purpose." Ochako says, sadly.
"He's right though. And that's why I started crying. Because I was assuming I was a burden and the reason you were stressed. I was making everything about me." Ochako sits up from her hunched-over position. Her mother takes her wet cheeks in the palms of her hands and forces Ochako to look at her.
"No. He's not right. After everything you've been through, it's normal for you to feel like everyone wants to hurt you, even if it's not their intention." She says, looking into her eyes. Ochako only looks down. She had a hard time accepting her words. But she forced herself to think what her mom was saying was true. She wasn't the dumb one for being afraid of being hurt.
"I just...I don't know. I need some time to think." Ochako whispers. She was tired and her throat hurt from crying so much. Her mother smiles and gives her a kiss on her forehead. "I understand. You can go rest sweetie." She says gently. Ochako nods and stands up, slowly dragging her feet down the hallway toward her room. she would stop by the kitchen to put her snack away, but she was too tired to think properly.
When she makes it to her room, Mina is sitting on her bed. She wasn't sure if she heard what she had said about Izuku and she hoped she didn't. Ochako was aware Mina wasn't very fond of him. And it hurt like hell that her boyfriend and best friend hated each other. She never said anything about it though. It was none of her business.
She lets out a heavy sigh and throws the bag on her chair. "Are you okay?" Mina asks. Ochako glares at her as she stands up from where she is sitting. "No. Why are you still here?" Ochako asks, sitting on her bed. She was upset and just wanted to sleep. "I was just making sure you're okay. I didn't wanna leave all of a sudden just cause you got back home." She says, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Ochako closes her eyes and rubs her hands over her head. "You're always in my business even when it doesn't include you and it's fucking annoying! Leave me alone!" She yells, keeping her hands over her eyes to prevent tears from forming. She was so upset and angry and hurt. She just couldn't control what left her mouth.
Mina was more shocked at her yelling at her words. Ochakos was right. She was always in her business. Only because she cared. Why would she be mad at Ochako if what she was saying wasn't true?
"Sorry. Your mom called and again, I wasn't sure if she or you wanted me to leave or not. But I guess I know now." She chuckles. "Also, I'm only in your business because I care. A person who cares meddles in people's business even when it doesn't include them."
Ochako takes a few deep breaths and slowly calms down. She moves her hands from her face and looks up at Mina. She felt bad for yelling at her. She knew she was here because she cared. And just because she was mad at someone else didn't give her the right to yell at someone who was genuinely trying to care for her. She should have yelled at Izuku instead.
"I'm sorry." Ochako says, letting out a shaky sigh. "My brain is just....so loud and I can't think. So I snapped." Mina gives her a reassuring smile. "It's fine. I was never mad anyway."
Ochakos would have smiled back and she did want to smile back, but she couldn't. "Well, you look tired. So I will go home. Also, it's like the first time in weeks my dads are actually home on the weekend so I guess I'll just call you later." Mina says, waiting for Ochako to respond. She nods and Mina spins on her heels and leaves Ochakos room.
Before she closes the door all the way, she pokes her head through the small gap. "Also, I heard everything you told your mom. I originally didn't want to, but you cry really loudly. I'm telling you cause I felt like I was carrying a lie and you know I hate lying. Bye!" She says, closing the door behind her.
Ochako groans and lies down, stuffing her head on her pillow. Now she was sure Mina was probably on her way to beat Izuku's ass instead of going home. "Maybe if I lay like this long enough, I'll suffocate and die." Ochako thinks to herself. She wasn't the one who hated Izuku. They were both old enough to come to terms with the fact their rivalry is childish. And she wasn't going to waste her time intervening in something none of them spoke about. She didn't even know what they were mad at each other for. It wasn't her responsibility.
"I'm too tired for this..." Ochako mumbled, closing her eyes and turning her head so she could breathe, sighing at how good it felt to just lay there.