thinkin bout you
Laying down on her stomach with her computer on the end of the bed where some episode of "How I met your mother" is playing, Mia Jensen finds herself in her little comfort space. Alone in her bedroom, where the only sound filling the room is the lines from the characters in the show.
She pauses the episode once she hears footsteps coming from the hall, Clay is approaching the door. In the spare time of a couple of seconds, he busted in.
"Why? Why didn't you say something?" Clay asks. Mia gets up from her bed and closes the door behind her brother, and makes her way back to the bed. This time instead of laying down, she sits on it and places one of her decorative pillows on her lap.
She knows what he is referring to, Jessica's party and what Hannah believes happened.
"Because nothing happened for me to say something." Clay looks at her with confusion in his eyes, and it's not due to the words but due to who she became. How can Mia do this to someone she loves, to her friend?
"Mia come on, forget that bullshit Justin and Bryce fed you. Tell me the truth just like Hannah told you."
"Look, Hannah was drunk she told me she had drank that night. So when Justin was in the room with Jess and they were doing it Hannah misunderstood the situation, Clay." She prevents her eyes to lock with Clay's, afraid of what she might show.
"Bullshit. She told you the truth it's time for you to tell Jessica the truth as well. She deserves to know."
"Clay Hannah lied more than once okay? She lied about me and she lied to me. I know you and her were friends but for the rest of us Hannah wasn't." She knew for a fact that Clay and Hannah were more than friends, they just never really admitted that.
"Mia, she killed herself and you are telling me she lied. Why would she lie?" He shouts.
"Good question Clay. We all want to know the answer to that." She pauses to get up and stand closer to him " Hannah liked the attention, she was a drama queen bitch who fucked our lives forever." They both fell in silence.
"I am begging you, Mia, just please tell me what you know about that night." Clay looks at his sister and Mia can see the tears in his eyes and the sadness behind them.
"I found her in the bathroom that night, I tried to talk with her about why she was so terrified and once she finally started to talk she said that Bryce raped Jessica. Bryce is my friend longer than any other and Jess was with Hannah's ex. We were all mad at each other back then and Hannah created a sick story about that night. That is all I know Clay." She tried her best not to let her voice break, because if she did so he would know she was not sure of her story. As if she also doesn't believe it but it's what Justin and Bryce told her. And because she wasn't around when it all happened, she has no idea who is telling the truth.
Clay doesn't respond, he says nothing. He is looking straightforward like he is once again in a trance.
"We are all afraid Clay."Mia starts, looking at her feet while playing with the pillow in her lap " We are all terrified actually, but we can't let that show. We are all trying to figure out what to do next, and how to live from now on but you are making it very difficult. And I am not sure if I can hold them back anymore. They got you suspended next time it won't be like this, believe me."
Once Clay left Mia's bedroom, she laid back down this time her stomach was facing the ceiling. However, the pillow never left her arms, because once Clay left a memory from that night appeared in her mind. The night of Jessica's party wasn't only known for what may or may not have happened that night to Jess, it also was memorized for the loss of Mia's friend and first kiss.
Flashback:
"Jefferyyy!" Mia calls the boy on the other side of the yard. Jeff Atkins.
"Mimi!" He calls back too.
The two Liberty High stars hug each other. Mia met Jeff when she was in seven grade. He was since then a popular boy and known for his looks and Mia was starting to be popular and she was beautiful. The most beautiful girl Jeff has ever seen.
However, even though Jeff was pretty popular Mia didn't really pay any attention to him, so one day Jeff fell in front of her on purpose, for her to help him. She guided him towards the nursery where she cleaned his injury, once there were no school nurses there to help him.
After that day, they became friends, then later best friends, and then friends with benefits. Jeff Atkins was the first boy that Mia Jensen kissed, but nothing more ever happened after. They were not meant to be and thank God because they two created an amazing friendship.
"How are you, man?" Just like Mia, Jeff wasn't very much an apologist for drinking.
"Good, you?" He asks before noticing the look on her face once she noticed his red cup "Chill, it's coca-cola M." He informs her.
"Good, because I heard you were going to get beer soon, and I don't want you to drink and drive"
"Don't worry mama. Hey, hum... What is going on with your brother?" Jeff might be the only friend Mia and he has in common. Because unlike the others Clay actually likes Jeff, which it's pretty obvious to get why. Jeff is an angel.
"I don't know. What is going on with him?" She asked back.
"It just seemed like he and Hannah Baker girl were having fun and now he wants to leave." A sight left Mia's lips.
"God knows what happened, but don't sweat it I am sure they are fine. Do you want to come inside and play a couple of party games? I was looking for Monty but I lost him again, you haven't seen him by chance have you." Mia asked looking around the yard in hopes to see the tall boy.
"No, I haven't seen him but I tell him to find you if I do."
"So, you coming inside with me?" Jeff looked down at her and smiled before telling her he needed to pick up the beers he was supposed to.
"You want me to drive you, I haven't touched a sip of alcohol." She offered herself.
"No need. Two beers two hours ago, I am on Coca-cola now lady" He says, shaking the red cup in front of her eyes.
"Alright, call me once you got back from the drinks. I will be inside." They said their goodbyes in hopes to see each other again in at least thirty minutes, but they didn't. They said their goodbyes forever.
Kiss. They kissed each other's cheek and that was it. It was the last contact in a four-year friendship.
End of Flashback:
She knew the tears would fall eventually, and they did. The thought of not having Jeff around anymore hurt. He was a really really nice guy, he didn't deserve what happened to him. He didn't deserve it at all. She wondered if maybe she insisted on going to get the drinks with him he would have made it. It was her fault, she should have gone with him because if she did none of this would have happened.
The memories that Mia had with Jeff were too many to count. Every time she would think about that night, other memories would pop up, but unlike this one, they were happy.
She remembered the day she told him about Monty, he warned her about him, about what he knows about him and she told him "Don't worry Jeffery, you know you will always be my number one loverboy" It was silly and they both knew it was a joke but Jeff did stay Mia's number one first love. However, it wasn't romantic love, it was all platonic, but it still counted.
And when her mind was no longer thinking about the good memories of Jeff, she remembered the tape. That dam tape. And she remembered her. God, how could she?
Then her phone screen lit up again, and for the second time, tonight Sheri send her a bunch of texts. Sheri wanted to talk with her. Mia wished from the button of her heart that Jeff and that dam night weren't the topics. But because she was still very bumped about Jeff, once now she relived it all again, Mia didn't message Sheri back. Tomorrow in school they would have time to talk.
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The weather in Crestmont is getting colder. The sky is darker and there is no longer the warm sunlight warming everyone.
So today outfit a simple flare black jeans with a split with a white jumper. It was basic but yet she looked flawless.
Mia is the type of girl that gets up really earlier in the morning, she takes her time to find a good outfit to do her make-up among other things she does in the morning.
Unlike her, her boyfriend Montgomery De La Cruz is not an early person at all, which might normally result in bad humor from the taller boy.
But today, even though she was not in her best outfit or feeling like she normally is, today was a special day. Her boyfriend was going back to school after a couple of days of suspension. They haven't seen each other in a while, Monty's home situation is complicated and he didn't want Mia to be around that type of environment.
"So I thought maybe we could change something in the video for the regionals. Make something to get the attention of people. I just think it's a little boring the video now." Mia was the first ever cheerleader in Liberty High School that ever got the cheer squad to the regionals or this close to the regionals.
"Yeah, I think we can do that. But let's make it big, the public like it that way" Completes Sheri.
"Great, so can you tell the rest of the squad that we are changing the program. That way they won't be pissed at me." Mia smiled back at Sheri, it was her way to get things, her sweet smile and precious hazel eyes would get her whatever she wants.
"Hey, I saw you talking to Clay."Says Tyler from behind Sheri.
"What? How did you even see that?" Asks Sheri looking around her.
"My brother talked to you? " Asked also Mia, but she received no answer.
"Long Lenses" Replies Tyler to Sheri's question "Is he turning you in?"
"We shouldn't be talking about this." She sighs, looking at Mia before Tyler spoke again.
"Ok, but is he turning you in?"
"He didn't say."
"You like Clay, don't you?" Asks Tyler.
"Of course I do. I always have."
"And you like him too, right Mia?" This time he turns his head to face Mia.
"Are you really asking me that?"
"I always liked him too." He says to both girls "He was always nice to me before. And you were too Mia. You were nice to me too sometimes." He says after a short pause.
"Sure." She laughed.
"Tyler, what do you want?" The brunette asked.
"Let's talk to him. You and me." He turned his face to Mia" And you can come too".
"The other kids want to bring him down, but we could talk to him. He might listen to us."
"He won't, I know because I have tried." Says Mia very quickly.
" Babe, is this freak bothering you?" A masculine voice, that Mia knew better than anyone spoke from behind them.
" Monty" Says the girl in excitement, she turned around and saw the boy she was more than excited to see again. Her arms quickly hugged the boy's neck and he wrapped the blonde's waist.
" Monty, I missed you so much " She whispers in his ear.
"I missed you too." He whispers back.
"But now, is he bothering you ladies?" Once Mia was back on her feet, she wrapped her short arms around the brunette boy's waist and placed her head on his chest.
"No, Monty, he's fine." Replied Sheri.
"Just think about it, please."
"I gotta get to class. I will talk to you later Mia."
Tyler turns to Mia, that was still wrapped in Monty " Mia, please. Think about it." But before he could walk a step closer to her, a strong hand hit his chest and pushed him to the lockers.
"No, you leave her alone, freak. And especially leave Mia alone. Got it?"
"Monty it's ok, let's just go".
"These are thousand-dollar cameras"Tyler mentions the cameras that he was holding. Probably after a couple of bad experiences with Monty, he decided that it would be better to tell him the cost of the stuff he uses. But it's not like Montgomery actually cares.
"I'll break 'em on your face." He laughed.
"Jesus, Montgomery, leave him alone." Says Alex, approaching the three.
"You want to go again?" He let go of Tyler to look at Alex.
"Do you? Didn't you just get back from suspension?"
"Fuck you, Alex" A small laugh escaped his lips.
"No thanks, Monty, you're not man enough." He replies.
"Yeah, you sure you don't know what you are talking about Alex. Now let's go Monty. Come on". Mia Jensen says, she grabbed her boyfriend's hand and turned her back to the other two teens. A proud smile appeared on the De La Cruz boy face. The words that Mia said seconds ago were stuck in his head "You sure don't know what you are talking about, Alex".
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"What was that?" She asked walking down the hallway with Montgomery by her side.
"What was what?"
"Seriously? You just got back from suspension and were already picking up on Tyler, do you want to go home for a month now or what?" He liked that she cared so much about him, she was the first person that ever cared so much about him.
"God Mia, I am in here for an hour and you are already arguing with me." She stopped in her tracks to look at him, arms crossed in front of her chest, head slightly leaned on her right, and dead eyes staring at his.
"I am just trying to look out for you because you clearly can't do that by yourself". She admits. Her eyes had flames, Montgomery was sure he could see it.
"What is that suppose to mean? I am not a child Mia, I can take care of myself." They didn't care that they were in the middle of the hallway, when the couple had an argument it didn't matter where they were. They were going to discuss it right there.
"Are you? Because it seems like you can't control your anger like a normal person Montgomery, and do you know who also can't control their emotions, children. So excuse me if I miss read the situation." It was clear her mocking voice tone, which only drove him more irritated.
"You know what Mia, fuck this. I don't have time for this." He starts to walk down the haul while Mia stays behind shouting.
"Yeah, walk away, like you always do."
The blonde just prayed now for the poor cheerleaders that were about to have practice with her, because they were not ready for her right now.
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"Where the fuck is Sheri and Jessica?" Yelled Mia to the other cheerleaders.
"Jessica is still on the bench Mia and Sheri no one has seen her since last period."Informed one of the cheerleaders.
"Great."She breathed out " You know what girls, today's practice is canceled. You can go home. See you tomorrow." Without her other feminine rock, Mia was sure she couldn't do the training today. She needed to go home and clear her head.
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She called one, two, three times but no one answered. She wondered where she could be. Sheri always answers her phone when people call her and Mia now, more than ever needs her to answer the phone. She sat in her bed, legs crossed, a pen and a notebook in front of her. Something came over her, and she just wanted to write to him. At first, she tried to call but she knew that she would receive no answer, so she had an idea. She could always write him letters and so she did.
Halfway in she was already crying, today is an emotional day for some reason. First was the thoughts and dreams and memories she's been having, then is the constant fight between her group of friends and her brother, then it was an actual fight with her boyfriend on the day he came back from suspension, just to spice it a bit her best friends didn't show up at practice and to be the cherry on the top of the cake she had the urge to write Jeff a letter.
After the letter, she picked up her phone, opened the contacts app, and slide her fingertip down the phone screen, looking for a specific name.
"Hi, it's Mia Jensen in case you don't have my number saved. Jeff told me you guys did, he actually said he saved my number himself in case I ever need to speak with you. And I do now. I wanted to apologize, I used to be at Jeff's side every day, every party and I wasn't that night. I am really sorry Mr. and Mrs. Atkins. I also wanted to apologize for not visiting you anymore it's just that it still hurts me a lot, I really hope you understand. Once again I am really sorry." After the words left her mouth she clicked send, and she just hoped that Jeff's parents would listen to the voicemail and understand and forgive her.
Flashback:
Before the worst happen, Hannah had found Mia in the middle of the kitchen, picking up empty cans of sprit and coke.
"I don't think those will help if you are thirsty." Said Hannah on the other side of the kitchen island.
"I don't think either." Laughed the blonde. Hannah opened the door cabinet behind Mia, and grabbed one can of coke "It's the last one." Mia looked at the girl in front of her, Hannah Baker was a nice girl, sweet and passionate. But she also could be destructive and heartless and sometimes even a liar.
"Can I ask you something?" Questioned Hannah once the two fell into awkward silence.
"Sure., what is it about?"
"Your brother." Mia looked confused at Hannah's sudden interest.
"It's Clay, I am talking about."Hannah noticed the misunderstood expression on Mia's face.
" Has he ever dated anyone, or at least showed interest in anyone?" Hannah wondered if Clay was only the way he was towards her in case he had any type of feelings.
"We don't talk about that sort of thing. But I am sure he had an interest in someone before." Explained Mia, Hannah looked not satisfied at Mia's answer and before she left the kitchen she placed a hand on Hannah's shoulder and whispered in her era.
"I am sure she likes you too Han, don't be so afraid." It was an ordinary sentence, but that same ordinary sentence send shivers down her spine, and numerous thoughts of things that would never happen between the two of them, run across her mind.