[ a/n: sorry it took so long. i kept writing and rewriting and tbh im still kind unsatisfied with the result but i dont think it can get any better...
so take this, a continuing of 'near dark' or a stand-alone oneshot, whichever way youd prefer it. title also inspired by a song - after dark by Mr.Kitty (previously i wanted to name it 'aftermath' but ill keep that for something better)
also, happy new year!]
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Cole couldn't sleep. At all. All he could do was sit in this chair and watch Kai's chest rise and fall as he breathed.
Stupid Kai. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He had no idea what he caused him. And now he dared to just lie there and sleep like it was nothing. The innocent, relaxed face felt like a joke to Cole. Just mere hours ago that face seemed absolutely destroyed. he was crying and mumbling some nonsense and now he has the nerve to sleep like it was nothing.
Cole was unbelievably angry at the fire ninja. The scare he caused him. The anxiety he's still causing at the moment. It was nerve-wracking and Cole couldn't do anything about it.
Cole cried. He did. After the door closed behind Zane he just broke down. It was too stressful, too much. He couldn't cry in front of Nya – what a guilty feeling for some reason... As if Kai wasn't family to everyone.
He went on the roof to calm down – which seemed impossible at first, the sobs almost choking him. But he managed, eventually. Especially when Zane came there to tell him Kai was stabilized for now. So Cole rushed to the room, insisting he'd watch over. If anything–
Jay took Nya back to their bedroom since she must've been exhausted from all the crying and pacing and ranting and stressing over her brother.
So Cole sat down and the staring contest with no opponent began.
The monitors were flashing with different stats — everything seemed to be fine.
Except it wasn't.
It fucking wasn't.
Kai got stabbed who knows where by who knows who in the middle of the night and then passed out in his arms, making Cole think he fucking died, causing him to panic and wake up the whole monastery – if not the entire Ninjago City – by his yelling.
The moment he wakes up? Oh, he's getting it.
Cole kept fidgeting with his hands, never taking his eyes off Kai. He had to figure out what happened. Who did it. Who fucking dared to stab Kai.
Cole wasn't the one to swear – he didn't like it much. It just didn't feel right to him. Kai was the one with the worse dictionary. But right now he couldn't find better words to use. there just weren't any. I mean, what words could you use when your best friend that you've been in love with since forever passes out from blood loss in your arms? This was nothing like the secret daydreams he had. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Kai moved. Cole almost jumped out of his seat. Still nothing.
Cole could hear his own breathing. He could feel how tense his body was. He had to remind himself to unclench his teeth several times before doing so again anyway.
Ironically, Kai's breathing was steadier than Cole's.
Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. How did Kai let himself get stabbed like that? Didn't he constantly brag about being the awesome master of fire? Wasn't that his whole thing? Wasn't he supposed to be invincible? How did he even get himself in such situation? They checked all the logs, all the news and emergency alerts. There was none that night. It was one of those rare, peaceful nights. So where the hell did he go? They fell asleep on the couch together, how did he not notice Kai was gone? Was this all his fault in the end?
He felt tears burn his eyes once again. No. Blink, blink them away. Not again. He can't cry again.
But his vision got blurry nonetheless and he saw red and it reminded him of Kai's blood and his face was so pale, he seemed so confused when he was fumbling around the kitchen.
Breathe Cole. In and out.
A grunt.
"Cole?"
He flinched, his heart skipping a beat.
"Jesus fucking christ, Kai," he exclaimed and quickly hid his glassy eyes behind his hand. Kai can't see the tears he was fighting, he can't.
He heard grunts and shuffling. Oh for FSM's sake.
"Stop it." He got up after uncovering his eyes. "Don't even bother."
"The fuck happened?" So slurred. As if Kai got wasted again. Well, he got. In a way.
"Yeah, Kai, the fuck happened?" he shot back. Cole shouldn't be so mean, but then there were lots of emotions and it was overwhelming. He handed him a glass of water he had ready. Kai was barely able to hold it, so Cole assisted. Kai gulped the water as if he hadn't drunk anything in days. Zane warned him about excessive thirst – hence the prepared water.
Cole put away the empty glass. It wsa good enough of an excuse to get away from the other ninja. On one hand, he couldn't handle being so close to him, on the other, he would never forgive himself if he left him alone again.
Clenching the edge of the table didn't help at hiding how shaky he himself was. Turning around, he noticed Kai was lying there with closed eyes – and for a second Cole panicked. After all, his breathing was still shallow, it went easily unnoticed.
"Kai?" His chest was tight.
"I'm not dead, don't worry." The words worked like gasoline – igniting fire inside of Cole – his stressed-out self was like a piece of dry wood, just eager to be set ablaze.
"This isn't funny, y'know?" Calm down, he told himself. Kai's also been through a lot – but what has he been through?
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice I was laughing," Kai snapped back. This was obviously dangerous. Cole knew it but he was so afraid to leave Kai alone for just a second – god knows what can happen within a second. He still sounded tired and most likely was just half awake. Yet the master of earth was so easy to get provoked. He was a little bundle of nerves.
"Just don't talk about it like that, all right? We're all pretty stressed out from your antics." Breathe in. Breathe out. "You know, it wouldn't hurt if you tried to take things seriously for once." At that comment, Kai's eyes snapped open. It was like staring into the heart of a bonfire.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know I turned into Jay Walker! My bad! You know, Cole, if you're just going to whoop my ass before I even get to know where the fuck I am, why are you even here? Why bother? No one asked you to be here."
Cole knew it was dangerous, this playing with fire. They will hurt each other with words they (hopefully) don't mean – well, they already did some minor cuts. It wasn't him, he's never this irritated. But Kai had sparked something that was slowly turning into a forest fire and Cole had no experience. After all, he had no control over water.
His eyes once again stung with the damn tears. Kai was right. No one asked him to be there. Not when he came back at night, not now, not ever. But then again without him, who knows how Kai would end up? Maybe if he... But then again, it was his fault Kai got into trouble in the first place. If he just wasn't such a heavy sleeper...
Yes, no one asked him to be there but Cole felt a strong obligation to be. He had to be by Kai's side. It was the least he could do.
"So sorry I give a fuck about you." That's not him. He doesn't swear. He doesn't cry his eyes out because of Kai Smith. Why had no one stopped him yet? Why hadn't he stopped himself yet? He wasn't just a danger to himself – he was a danger to the red ninja too. Kai hurt him, so obviously there's a big chance he's hurting him too.
Kai blew a raspberry. "Doesn't seem like it. You could've as well just let me die."
"You're such an idiotic asshole, Kai, seriously." If it wasn't for his concern and shock from the previous event, he would most likely just strangle right Kai on the spot. How could he dare talk like that?
Then again Kai was injured and probably exhausted. How could he blame him for anything he says? He's just woken up too. He probably doesn't even know what he's saying or that he's even awake and this is real.
He had to leave. Quickly. Before everything got burned to a crisp. He had to cool down. He had to find Zane – and risk the possibility something bad will happen in his absence. But the smoke was choking him and he needed fresh air – absent of the tension.
"Putang ina mo! Ito ay fucking hindi paniwala..."
When he came back with Zane, who he hoped would bring some cool peace into the room, Kai was passed out again. Zane proceeded to state that they didn't expect him to stay awake for long and went to check his vitals. Cole plopped down into his chair, feeling exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster. Zane noticed it and tried to make him leave, get some rest. But Cole couldn't leave Kai alone, despite the ice ninja's reassurance that they'll get someone to stay there. Cole felt as if it was his obligation and Zane had to admit their defeat. The last thing they did before exiting the room again was leaving a cup of calming tea on the table.
Cole stayed still, staring at the sleeping body and fought his own tiredness. He shouldn't have been so rude to Kai. He just wished that when he wakes up again he'll at least hear his apology. It was stupid, getting so riled up like that.
The tea was left forgotten. Left to lose its vapour and warmth.
However, Cole couldn't stop the uneasy feeling when he remembered Kai's words. He wasn't sure whether he felt worse about the fact that Kai didn't believe he cared for him or that he was aware he could've died.
And if kai died, what would cole do? They already experienced many losses. Zane, Nya, almost Lloyd... but something about the thought of losing Kai made him shiver. It felt heavier – and it was just a mere thought.
He caught himself thinking back to the time he lost his mum and connecting them together. Would it feel the same way? Would losing Kai affect him the same way losing his mum did? Would it also destroy everything, take all colours from life? Would it drive him back to the mountaintops?
Why?
He was aware of the bond they had. He couldn't really name it, he just knew it was slightly different from others. He didn't feel the same way with even Jay the way he felt towards Kai.
Cole didn't dare call it love. it probably wasn't anything romantic. Maybe he just saw himself in Kai – a lost arrogant boy trying to prove himself while fighting off the strong feeling of not belonging.
He had to admit kai was attractive there was no denying that. And charming. Captivating with his personality. There was always something hypnotizing about the way he spoke and Cole caught himself many times forgetting about the outside world when he stared at his moving lips and let the sound of his voice slowly get his brain to sleep.
Okay, Cole had to admit he developed some sort of a crush on Kai throughout the years and it was killing him inside for multiple reasons. And this situation could just get added to the list.
They kissed once. they were a little tipsy, being (beside Zane) the eldest of the group. And there was this stupid bet... And it could've gotten more passionate if Kai didn't throw up right at that moment. But Cole just pretended it didn't mean anything. And Kai either did too or just didn't remember the night at all – which was the more likely of the options.
Yet he would still get these weird dreams and whenever he thought about their lips together he felt this weird way...
But it was nothing. Surely it was nothing, he was just overthinking as usual.
And still, Cole felt embarrassed thinking about this when Kai was lying on a bed in front of him with a stab wound. Maybe it was just the exhaustion getting the best of him.
When Kai opened his eyes again that night, Cole barely managed to keep his eyes open. He caught himself several times almost falling asleep, which was followed by a personal lecture from prof. Cole to Cole, during which Cole almost fell asleep, and this cycle repeated several times.
"Cole? What are you doing in my room?" Cole blinked several times. Hearing the voice surprised him – he forgot that the fire ninja was awake again. Man, he could really use a nap right now.
"It's not your room, we're in–" a yawn "–the med-bay," he explained. He stared back into Kai's eyes which were scanning him with an intense gaze. No one said anything and the master of earth was beginning to get lulled into sleep again. The amber irises turned into a calm fire in a fireplace, cracking a calming melody–
"You look like shit," said the fireplace.
"Sorry?" Cole was too tired to register that sentence properly. But when it clicked, he had no more energy to feel insulted.
"You just– have you seen yourself? You look awful," rambled Kai. "I mean... When was the last time you slept? You look like you haven't in ages."
And I feel like it, would Cole say had Kai not been fighting for his life just a few hours ago.
"Don't worry about me, I'm all right," was what he said instead.
"That's bullshit," Kai disagreed, throwing his hand in the air. Cole shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You know, this feels oddly familiar..." the fire master pointed out. "Have we been like this before?" A flicker of a smile.
"Go to sleep. It's not worth explaining right now. You won't most likely remember it anyway."
"Amuse me – why are we here?" Instead of an answer, Cole just shook his head some more.
"I've never heard you speak like that."
"Like what? I've never spoken Japanese in front of you. Am I speaking Japanese right now?"
"No. I meant this calm. But I would like to hear that sometime."
"いつか、ダーリン," said Kai.
"Ikaw ay hindi matiis," said Cole with a growing smile, uncrossing his arms. He stroked Kai's hair and then adjusted his blanket.
"You will have to explain yourself soon though, y'know." Kai's eyes were starting to close again, his words getting muffled. "If you'd a nightmare, you can sleep with me, I don't mind. Y'know I'd do anything to keep you... safe... But you gotta get some... sleep... man..."
He raised an eyebrow. It was barely an hour ago when they were at each other's throats and now he wanted to take care of him. Which seemed super ironic, considering his situation. Although it didn't fail to make Cole smile. Everything was so confusing. A blur. A big darkening blur...
When Cole opened his eyes, it was due to a weird sensation. His body was rising and falling, as if he was floating on a sea. His hair was being stroked by the wind... Or perhaps a hand? Why would–
He turned his head to see Kai's rested face, his eyes closed but his mouth slightly open, his breath steady.
Cole lost the fight. Kai apparently lost some fight also. But they were there, together. Two losers. As they say, birds of a feather flock together, right? Maybe he could get some rest. Maybe he could chill out a little... After all, it was so calming... Who would it hurt to close his eyes for a little while again?
At least now they were calm. There were no words thrown around... Just steady breathing and darkness... just that.