ʏᴇʟᴇɴᴀ
The next morning i woke up with a heavy feeling of my eyes. The feeling when you cried and cried the whole night—i mean i didn't —but I've cried before i fall asleep.
It took me a second to realised that there's someone sleeping next to me and that was Alex, I couldn't help myself but blush. The flashback last night is making me flutter, when i cried to his arms he just stayed here on my room for the whole night. He also made sure that i feel better. It just feel new to him, i know this is not the second time he did this but damn, the way he stayed here just to make sure im fine it's in another level.
I feel happy and i feel different that i never felt before. That Alex Turner will make you sure that you're gonna be fine is very special of him, I've know him as a heartless and arrogant and also ruthless but I didn't know he's hiding something like that to him that make my heart melt. This is my first time, my ex-boyfriend never cared at me, whenever i dont feel okay he's not there when i needed him but Alex, he look so worried. For the fact he's just my boss but he cared so much when you're not okay.
I sat up and stared to his face. He always had perfect face features, his long eyelashes and his soft pink lips. Even though he had beard he still look good. He look adorable when he's sleeping, i feel like i could stare to him like this forever.
Before i could think i place a gentle kiss on his cheeks as a thank you.
I slowly get up out the bed, making sure I won't awake Alex when i suddenly felt a hand on my wrist. I looked down to see Alex, wide awake, then I realised that this bastard been awake the whole time. I felt my cheeks flush as i tried to hide it from him.
"Where are you going?" Alex asked with his deep morning voice.
"In the bathroom." I answered him, as he finally let go of my wrist and he sat up and fix his long hair.
"I want you to follow me on me room." He said softly, he then jump out of the bed leaving me curious.
I swallowed. Why he want me to follow him to his room? I stood up and went to the bathroom to wash my face, i glanced at myself for a second to see that i have fluffy eyes and i look really mess right now. There's no way Alex saw me like this. I groaned, i look like a lost puppy that been abandoned.
I sighed.
After i washed my face i headed to Alex's room. I didn't knock so i just opened his door and searching for him but i cant find him anywhere that probably he's in the bathroom. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.
"Alex?" I calls out, i noticed a opened door next to his bathroom. I never saw that before.
"In 'ere." Alex voice said that came on that room. I walked further and enter inside to the opened door.
As soon i saw what inside my eyes grew wide and my mouth hang opened. The first thing i noticed is another piano, this is definitely like a music room or music studio. Its a big enough room with full of music instruments with four different guitars hanging on the wall and a big drum that place in the middle and a piano behind the small sofa.
I looked around the room, the wall is paint in red with a big chandelier in the middle. It make me curious, what kind of place is this. I turned to looked at Alex who's seating on the big sofa while holding a guitar.
"What is this?" I asked curiously, looking around the room, a old record play caught my eyes.
"This is me life before." He stated delicately, this make me realise that the rumor is true. Alex was once in a band before. "When i was in teenager i was addicted to my dream, my world only runs on music, all i could think is music, music and making music and music. All along my passion is to make music...to play in a band. Until i fell in love with Pauline and everything changed."
"Alex.."
"I was really in love with Pauline. She made me feel special back then but something horrible happened." He sighed, placing his guitar in the sofa. "You know what, Brielle wasn't supposed to be born."
"Alex, dont—"
"Yelena, shut the hell up and just listen to me first, you want me to explain to you right?" Alex cut me as he looked at me and sighed. "Yer right, i need to speak and i need to talk so i want you to listen to me and i want you to know what kind of person i am."
I swallowed hard and listen to him.
"Pauline and I didn't plan to have a baby. When i found out that she's pregnant I didn't know what to do 'cause im not ready to raised a child yet. Plus, it will ruin me career being musician." He started and stood up and walked over the piano. "About what Pauline said when i told her that i will kill her and the baby, i didn't meant that, i was drunk that day I didn't mean to say that to her."
The sound of his voice is making me break. I just waited for him to continue.
"I admit that im stupid and immature all i could think was myself and being a musician. It's all my fucken fault..."
This time i cut him off. "Alex, you were just young. Everyone makes mistake."
Alex sighed again and ran his hands through his hair. "No, i broke up with her and left her without saying any word. I left her when she's carrying my baby...But believe me after four months I've changed my mind and ready to take care of my child. We talked and settled everything and when Brielle's born i was really happy but the planned suddenly changed." He paused for a second and met my eyes. "Pauline's father threatened me, he wants his daughter to continue her career without any distraction which is Brielle, so he told me if I didn't take care of my daughter he will ruin my life and my career, I didn't want to ruin my career so I raised Brielle alone."
"That's when i realised that Pauline didn't care about Brielle, she chose her career instead raised Brielle." He added.
I stood up and move closer to him as i rub his shoulder. "Alex it's okay you dont have to say it all if you're not ready." I just dont want him to force something that it will make him hurt.
"No Yelena, i want you to know the truth." He hold my hands, meeting his brown eyes again. "I dont want you to believe Pauline's lies."
"I dont—"
"It didn't end just like that, one week later after Brielle's born i found out that Pauline's father ruin my career, he's the reason why i never had a chance to be a musician again." Alex said. "He said that it's a payback for ruining his daughter's life. God, i didn't know what to do so i did something even horrible."
"What did you do?" I asked him.
Alex chewed on his lip and fiddled with his fingers. "I went to their house, i just lose my temper and punch Pauline's father and then i also accidentally hit Pauline, i was just mad at her." That's when i also found out that Pauline is a French singer actually and she chose her career, that's why she abandoned Brielle. Alex also told me that he went to a jail for almost two weeks for punching Pauline's father and trespassing.
It actually sad to hear all of this. I feel bad to Alex, this is worst. To be honest Alex don't deserve any of this. He actually did everything he can for Brielle while Pauline is getting busy being fame, she even used Alex's money, that's what Alex told me.
"Hey, it wasn't your fault, Alex." I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheeks to his chest. He hugged me tight, showing my embrace was exactly what he wanted. "Dont blame yourself, you're a victim here. What they did to you is horrible, i dont blame you for punching his face but what important is you raised Brielle."
"It's not enough, i never had a time with her, i barely spend time with her." He said under his breath. "But God knows i love Brielle so much, I worked hard for her, i worked hard so she can have a better life, i worked hard so i can defend her to Pauline's father."
This make me smile.
"I know, i know you care about her so much. Al, i want you to know that what happened before it's not your fault, you were young." I said and squeeze him tighter, as i look up to see that his eyes were shut and a little tears on his eyes. "What important is you did everything for Brielle. This better future for her and this house. I think it's enough for me to think that you are a good father, you did everything for your daughter."
Alex remain silent, pulling me closer to him and just hugged me tightly. The way his voice crack it make my heart broke. I always felt that Alex had a reason why he's acting like this, hearing his back story make me shattered into a million shards of glass. I just love this man.
"I promise myself that I'll be better father for her." Alex said softly, we both pulled out into a hug but we were maintaining such a strong eyes contact. "This time i will make her feel that i love her so much. Im sure that will make me parents proud."
"Where is your parents? I never saw them coming here?" I suddenly asked, for once i never saw his parents visit here, even Brielle she never mentioned her grandma and grandpa.
"Both of my parents are living in Sheffield. The country where i was born." He replied, as he turned his gaze nostalgic. "Yelena, im really sorry about your relationship with your mother."
I shrugged my shoulder. "It's okay. I've used to it, it's hard to be away with parents, when my father died i feel like i lose both of my parents. It was hard to lose someone you love, I thought I cant continue my life because i lose my father but i pull myself together."
Talking to my mother is in another level. I just dont used to talk about my mother and our relationships but since Alex told everything to me maybe he deserves to know something about me.
Having a serious talk and deep conversation to Alex is make my heart fluttered. I just love him and what he really are or what kind of person he is. I love everything from him, him being a bipolar and him being so much caring. I guess those things that make me fall for him. I do had a frustration and admiration for him but There's no way he loves me.
"And now my mother acting different." I continue. "It became more worse especially having a relationship like that with my mother but i still stood up of my own, i lived with my own and be independent because i want to tell her that i can live with my own and i don't—"
Alex interrupted me by placing his lips to mine to shut me up and I actually thanked him for that. I closed my eyes and slowly relaxing into his kiss, he cupped my cheeks as his tongue ran across my bottom lip, seeking entry. My lips parted and his tongue swept inside, meeting mine. I put my hand around his neck while his other hand pulling me closer to him. I moaned into his mouth and tugging his hair by the low groan that escapes him, i guess he dont mind at all.
I felt his hand went underneath my underwear and without knowing he insert two fingers that make me gasp. I parted my legs to give him a better entrance, he went in and out and finger-fúcking me hard. I groaned, and arched my back while I squeeze his shoulder hard.
"Oh God.." i whimpered, digging my fingers into his shoulder.
Alex leaned to crash his mouth against my lips, i moaned in his mouth. It's so good and im already so hot i nearly come. Alex continue to pushed his fingers inside me, losing all my balance i nearly fall behind me but, Alex grabs my arm tightly and make me stand closer behind the sofa so i can put my hands on to it keep my weight from crushing down on the floor.
Alex release his fingers inside me and brought it to his mouth and sucking his fingers tasting me. God, it turn my leg to jelly. "You always taste fucken good, love." He murmur darkly, meeting his darken eyes with full of lust.
He kissed me once more, kissing me harder as he deepen the kiss. Moving his head down to kiss my neck, sucking lightly on my skin. His hand moving up to my shoulder to unbutton my shirt and tossed it on the floor leaving me with my pants and lace bra. He kepts sucking and biting my neck while his hands moved up to my breast, kneading them through my bra.
Finally one of his hand wander around my back, with a skilled move undoing my bra and drop in on the floor as well. He aggressively turned me around so my back is against his chest, i felt his hard against my ass. I felt his lips instantly attacking me neck again, with his other hand he pushed down my pants and they fall down my legs.
He immediately unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants along with his boxers. I then heard a sound of packaging i turned around to see a condom.
I softly laughed. "Where did you get that?"
"Im always prepare." Alex said, "i dont want to do the same mistake with you."
I just nodded my head and watched him rolled the condom into his hard cóck. He then stepped forward and bent me forward over the back of the sofa, he slapped my butt playfully, making me moan. His hand coming up between my legs again, parting my thighs as he rubbed me teasingly, it make me furious.
"Just do it already, Alex!" I yelled at him, glaring at him but that only make him chuckled.
He stroke himself a few times before pushing forward without warning, eliciting a loud moan escape from my mouth. He filled me me up, making me jolt forward onto the couch, his grip tightening as he thrust inside me, gasping at the delicious deepness of his cóck inside me. He let out a breathy moan, when i backed up against him, his hands moving to grip my hips as he began moving slow at first, getting faster and faster the louder i got.
He roughly grabbed my hair and continue to thrust inside me, deep and moving faster and faster. God, it feel so good, this kind of sin that i want to keep doing it. I shut my eyes tightly, pushing inside me deeply, making me moan louder and his name falling from my lips in praises.
I felt him back up, as i turned back to looked at him. He leaned and immediately crashes his lips to mine, kissing me softly and passionately. He grabbed my legs and pushed inside me again, his other hand loosely cupping my throat as he pulled my body to stand up straight. Leaning my back against his shoulder, closing my eyes again, gasping when he began pushing into me fast and i could hear out bodies colliding each time.
Alex let out a low groan of pleasure, placing his lips to my neck again. He moved fast and fast and just like that we both orgasm. We are both catching our breath, meeting his eyes once more and we made an eye contact and it make my heart beats fast even more. And then he leaned to kiss my forehead and i felt my lips smiled.
we both collapsed on the sofa after we dressed ourselves. "Thank you." Alex said softly.
"For what?" I raised one of my eyebrows.
"For talking and for listening to me." He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Im glad you trusted me and and never afraid of me, yer the first person, Yelena."
I realised that i was never afraid of him.
"Of course, I'm here for you." I smiled at him. "Im glad you throw Pauline out of your house. Brielle seem okay with it, since she used to it without having a mother beside her."
"I can't take her presence anymore, i never want her here in a first place." He scoffed, leaning his head to the sofa, staring at the ceiling. "And i cant take her voices giggling and her moan whenever she's being fúcked—Yep, i know that she's bringing different men inside me house."
I laughed hard and playfully slap his arms. "I know right, it's disgusting to hear."
"Yer not wrong." He let out a laugh and put his hand around me and pulled me closer as he stop and stared to my eyes once more before he leaned in and kissed my lips again, softly.
We just stayed here for a while, silent and only staring in the ceiling. Alex basically told me about what music he played before and i kinda want to hear him sing again but this time playing a guitar with his friends which is, Matt, Nick and Jamie.
"Alex?" I turned to looked at him.
"Yeah?" He didn't bother to looked at me, instead he is just staring in the ceiling.
I felt my heart beats fast again. Thinking if i should really asked him with this kind of question. I took a deep breath first then asked him out loud.
"Do you believe in love?" I asked him nervously.
He remained silence as I waited him to say something. He finally looked at me and met my eyes. "I would rather fucken die than believe in love."
Of course.