❀ Lizzy ❀
The punch is most refreshing and I'm grateful for the chance to sit for a moment. I look up into Lord Westworth's perfectly lovely blue eyes as he says, "I have decided to help you in your search for a husband."
I don't respond right away, as his declaration has caught me off guard. I was not forewarned that I might get offerings of help from gentlemen in attracting a husband. "I cannot claim to understand how all of this works, my Lord. I had quite a sheltered childhood growing up. I admit, I am not certain I understand why you have taken an interest in me tonight and are now willing to help me find a suitor."
He is leaning in closer now so that we can hear each other over the music and chatter. I breathe deeply as I catch his lovely scent. I find the smell even more pleasing now, as it is starting to become familiar to me. "Miss Cavendish, I am still recovering from the loss of my own dear father two years ago. I can only imagine that the recent loss of yours is very painful to you. I understand from your cousin that if you don't find a husband, you will be required to obtain a position. So I have decided to help you in your search."
I feel my eyes mist a bit at the mention of my father. I have not even had a moment's peace to grieve properly. I have cried in my bed a few nights but otherwise, I have had to put it out of my mind. I would not have expected Lord Westworth to have so much empathy for me. "You are most kind, Sir. I would gladly welcome your aide. You are correct that I am keenly feeling the loss of my father. But I try not to dwell on my emotions unless I have solitude so that I am not overcome in public."
He has taken my gloved hand now and is rubbing a thumb over the back of my knuckles. I think he means to be supportive. The feeling his tender caress gives is certainly distracting me from my sadness. "I understand, Miss Cavendish. Let us speak of other topics. As I have been weighing your options, it would help if I knew what your preferred characteristics are in your future husband. Have you given any thought to it?"
I sigh before I begin. "A little, I admit it seems unlikely that I will suit anyone." His look encourages me to continue. "Well, any suitor would need to be wealthy." I pause to think. "Either wealthy or..." I note surprise on Lord Westworth's face. His mouth has dropped open and his eyes are as big as I've seen them. "I am so sorry, is this not what you meant?"
The startled look leaves his face, "I do apologize, Miss Cavendish. I think you will always say something that surprises me. This is exactly what I meant. You would prefer someone affluent or..."
I think I might understand his astonishment now. He knows most girls here would like someone rich but few would admit it to a stranger. He is wrong about my motivations and I should clear up the confusion. "My Lord, I do not prefer a wealthy man for my own benefit. I require it, because I have no money. My suitor must either be rich or he must have no desire of money because I come with none. I grew up with quite modest means and am glad to live in such. But I will not be able to attract a husband who is in need of a dowry. That is what I intended, I am sorry to have shocked you so."
His face looks quite contented again. I'm glad that he is expressive, I do not like it when I cannot read a person's moods. "I understand, Miss Cavendish. So you would be comfortable with say, a clergyman who has a modest home if he suited in other ways also?"
I smile, "Yes, that would be ideal actually. I would probably prefer to help run a small household as I have no experience with a large one. I would also like a husband that has hobbies, work, or other interests to occupy his time. I need a good part of most days to work on my Physics experiments and I would prefer not to be forever entertaining or in need of amusing my husband."
Lord Westworth nods, "They are opening up the banquet rooms for supper. Let us go stand in the queue while we continue our conversation."
As we make our way to the banquet room I think more about the requirements of my husband. "It would also be important that a potential suitor be open minded about women's er... abilities. It would be unlikely that I could keep my science activities hidden from him, so he would need to be comfortable with my work and the possibility of publishing articles of my discoveries."
Lord Westworth looks grim, "Hopefully there aren't too many more requirements because the list will be short with the preferences you have listed so far."
"I only have one more wish and it is the least important of them all." I look into his bright eyes. "If possible, I would like the gentleman to be kindly." I think back to my father. "I grew up in quite a loving household consisting of me, my father, and our house and ground keepers. Mr. Havisham kept the gardens and repaired the manor house. Mrs. Havisham did the cooking and cleaning, although as I got older I helped much with both. All three adults were kind and loving. I very much hope that I could raise my children in a loving home as well."
I cannot read the expression Lord Westworth has on his face. Is it longing? Sadness? I think it must be regret. "You think my list too long and difficult to fulfill. You think we will not find someone who will want me. I can see in your face, you have resigning yourself that I should take a position and be done."
The smile returns to Lord Westworth's face, "Not at all, Miss Cavendish. You read too much into my expression. I very much hope I can find a suitor who is amiable, your request touched me. And please don't worry, I assure you I will find you a husband."
Despite his optimism, I know it cannot be done. "Perhaps it would be possible if I had the whole season or maybe two or three seasons. But with only a few weeks, I do not think we will be successful."
He uses a tone of reprimand and I see the Earl in him now, "Miss Cavendish, enough of this despair. Do not give up before we have started. Your list is not impossible, I assure you."
We have reached the banquet tables and Edmund offers me a plate and allows me to go first. I see everyone using tongs and spoons to dish delicacies onto their plates. The table is covered in every type of food imaginable, it is quite overwhelming. "You are gracious to say so Lord Westworth but I am fully cognizant that I am not as accomplished as the rest of the ladies here and I have no understanding of social decorums. That, along with my eccentricities and my cousin's ill fitting dresses, makes for a very unmarriageable individual."
Lord Westworth has watched me pass the first third of the banquet table without selecting any of the food offered. He has now taken it upon himself to dish food onto my plate himself. I will say that he has good taste because he has given me ham, fruit, cucumber sandwiches in addition to some little cakes. "Miss Cavendish, I absolutely forbid you to surrender. My first order of business is to gain you more time. You shall certainly have a full season, if needed. And you should know that I already have a list of candidates. We will talk them over and decide who interests you the most." He touches my arm and looks right in my eyes. "Tell me you will trust me to find you a husband."
With his warm eyes looking down at me and his optimism, I smile. "You are quite convincing, my Lord. I shall trust you and will not worry at all."
He seems pleased with my response. We have neared the end of the banquet and Lord Westworth ushers me to a seat near Lord Saville and Mr. Atbury. Lord Saville introduces me to his mother and sister as well as a few more friends. No one says anything about my messy hair or my ugly dress but I do see their stares more here at dinner than I did on the dance floor, which is embarrassing. I drop my eyes to my lap.
I don't know if it is my nervousness, embarrassment, or getting so caught up in listening to the table conversation but I forget to eat. I feel Lord Westworth's hand on my arm. He leans over so only I can hear, "Lizzy, there is much more dancing to come, you need to eat so you have the energy to continue."
I cut a piece of ham and pop it in my mouth before forgetting my food again. Repeatedly over the next hour Lord Westworth pokes a bit of food with my fork and hands it to me. He finally stops when my plate is nearly empty. He now knows that oysters and caviar are not my favorite. When he saw me enjoy the almonds he made another trip to the buffet to fetch me more. He is most attentive.
At the end of dinner, as everyone makes their way back into the ballroom, Lord Westworth asks if I have any available slots left on my dance card. I regretfully admit, "Your friend Mr. Atbury just claimed my last dance." I feel slight disappointment because I would have enjoyed another dance with Edmund.
His eyebrows raise, "Did he now?" He turns to his friends behind him and addresses Mr. Atbury. "You have claimed Miss Cavendish's last dance? Extremely surprising considering..." I wish Lord Westworth would have finished his sentence, I wonder why it is so surprising.
Mr. Atbury smiles at us, his gravely voice saying, "I had heard, from a reliable source, that her eyes are quite fine. I did not want to miss out on my chance to gaze at them." I feel myself blushing at his compliment. Do men really talk about a lady's eyes? Mr. Atbury and Lord Saville bow and are off.
I turn to find an amused expression on Lord Westworth's face and I want to tease him. "Well, if Mr. Atbury said my eyelashes were complimented instead of my eyes I might have suspected the source, since only one gentleman has noticed them yet this evening."
His smile increases, "Clearly the gentleman you speak of must have been a most observant dance partner, to notice such detail. And, don't worry, I am certain others will admire your eyelashes in the future. They are not to be missed." He is walking me toward my aunt and cousin now. I see that my next dance partner is waiting for me. Lord Westworth leans in closer as he speaks to me. "I will be retiring to the card room now, Lizzy. Your dance card is full, so there is no reason for me to stay. But I will see you very soon to go over our list. Until then Miss Cavendish." He first bows to me and kisses my gloved hand, then bows to my aunt and cousin. I curtsy to him. I know my cheeks are pink with the lingering intimate feeling of his lips resting on the back of my hand.