I wake up on the morning of Ali's Guitar-be-cue party (massive eyeroll at the name), to find the dragon perched on a straw settee in my room. I yelp with the horror.
"Kulsoom Nani (grandmother)..Whaa...WHAT are you doing here?"
She harrumphs, "Asalamualikum to you too.". She looks regal, and poised, clutching her cane, and peering at me with large beady eyes.
"Err...walikumassalam....can I help you?" I ask politely, or as civilly as I can without my morning fix of coffee.
She snorts, "And why would I need your help child?...hmmm you look utterly disgraceful while sleeping. Tch. Your poor future husband. Have you tried egg oil for that birds nest?" she gestures at my screw-you-I-just-woke-up hair.
Is she for real? I am still in bed, and she wants me to look like a Pantene commercial?
"Umm...not to be rude, but do you have any other reason for being here? other than criticizing my bed hair?"
"Hmmph...You do have a mouth on you. I like it....I like it." she chuckles as she waddles out of my room. "By the way, tell your brother if he steals my cane again, I will make sure that the chit he is hoping to marry never looks at him twice."
I am reduced to gaping at her huge retreating form.
How, on EARTH did she know about our cheesecake confession?
EMV yawns; 'She probably has minions in the CIA'
......
As the day progresses, and guests start arriving, the knot in my stomach grows larger and larger. I cannot bear what is coming tonight. For surely, at some point Shehzer is going to realize that I'm engaged. Ugh. What a mess!
As evening dawns, Mom instructs me to wear one of the new dresses my Future-Mother-In-Law gifted me with. It is a lovely coral colored flowy kameez embroidered with simple gold filigree around the Kurta styled collar, this is paired with fawn Chooridaar Pyjama (Traditional Tights), and a pale gold Chunri dupatta. I must say the color looks pretty good on me; Medusa hair notwithstanding. As soon as one of my Uber-stylish cousins; Maheera arrives, I beg her to do my hair, and makeup.
Pretty soon, My impossible hair is neatly tamed into an elegant french knot, and my blue/grey eyes look incredibly large with the tasteful smoky eye makeup.
As soon as I step downstairs, the dragon huffs with reluctant approval.
I ignore her and join my cousins in the TV room, as we await for more guests to arrive.
Unable to keep my feet from tapping as I anticipate Shehzer and Areeb's arrival, I draw more than one knowing smirk and elbow nudge from my female cousins.
"Ohh My gaahh!..MINA...Your fiance is so sexy! If he weren't yours I would totally snatch him away and do my evil way with him." Maheera's annoyingly shallow older sister Tania whispers into my ears.
I grit my teeth at her nasal voice. "He isn't officially my fiance yet. Why don't you try your hand at him?"
She smirks confidently, "Maybe I will!"
EMV mouths; 'What a HO!'
The doorbell rings, and before I could stand up, my brother materializes out of thin air, "I'LL GET IT!" he yells. The dragon lady waddles behind him to the door. Uh-Oh, I think I know where this is headed. I quickly jump up to find Adiba standing in the doorway, perplexed at such a large welcoming party.
Ali shyly greets Adiba, while Dragon Lady scans her from top to bottom.
"May I come in?" Adiba asks confusedly. I squeeze past my weirdo family to yank Adiba to safety.
"Hmmph, she has a pleasing face. And I like the posture; Not too rigid, not too curved. But the height! such a pity. She could have been good for you boy." Dragon Lady pats Ali consolingly on the arm, much to our collective horror.
Adiba's face has gone slack with surprise, and hurt.
But the Dragon's not done yet.
"Child, did your mother not tell you to jump rope during your puberty? Or take long naps? Or monkey bars? You could have outgrown your midget-ness tch...pity...Perhaps if you still tri-"
"ENOUGH!" Ali roars, "She is PERFECT, just the way she is. Who gives you the right to criticize someone based on how TALL they are? Even if she were 3 feet tall, she'd still be beautiful, because that's the type of person she is. Unlike judgmental shallow women like YOU!"
Me and Adiba are now openly gaping at my usually happy-go-lucky older brother. He has never in his life raised his voice against an elder, so this move has shocked me to the core.
"Silly Boy! don't you realize you will start a race of midgets from this family if you're bent on marrying her! imagine a house full of kids with her height..."
"YOU'RE INSANE LADY! Do you think YOU, or Adiba, Or I can decide how tall our kids will be? isn't Allah responsible for that stuff?"
Adiba had heard quite enough, "HOLD UP Right NOW!" she waves raised arms in front of his face. "You want to marry me? really?" her voice drops to a whisper now.
Ali suddenly realizes what he has done, and he stammers; "Err...I-uh...Yes. I do. but I never wanted you to find out like this." he hangs his head in shame.
I see my best friend's eyes well up with tears. "No. This was perfect. I loved how you defended me. I never knew you liked me." She peeks shyly at him, while quickly wiping away the moisture in her eyes.
Even EMV can't stop wringing her hands over this one, 'Awww...this is so cute!'
"Adiba...I can't dance. But if you teach me the steps after....You know...I think I'd very much like to dance with you." My brother pleads with her.
I literally can't stop my eyes from leaking. My brother is so shy around her, he can't even bring himself to say "Marriage". He is staring at her like she hung the moon and the stars.
"I think I'd like that. Very much." Adiba sniffs.
"Are you sure about her BOY?" Dragon grills Ali some more. This woman sure has nerves of Titanium.
"I'm sure."
"What about her croaky voice?"
"I love her croaky voice."
"Hmmph, i suppose you also don't care about her skinny legs? They look like Kulfi (traditional ice-cream) sticks."
"I'm rather attached to Kulfi sticks myself" Ali smirks. Both of them are making puppy dog eyes at each other, which is making my insides go squish. I'm literally witnessing love grow before my eyes.
"Well, then I suppose my work here is done." The dragon lady booms out, and turns to leave, making sure to rap Ali's knees with her wooden weapon. Hard.
He barely notices the pain, lovesick fool that he is.
I finally find my voice, "Did she do all of that on purpose?"
"I think so...." Ali frowns.
WOW. She is amazing! before I could ponder some more over my crazy relative, the doorbell rings again. When it is apparent that my BFF and Brother have no plans of moving, I shove the door open myself.
"Shehzer?" I breath out my torment.
"Mina." He smiles at me. He is looking at me just like Ali had looked at Adiba. But I wasn't the girl who'd marry him. I was the girl who'd break his heart. Again.
A/N:
I'm quite spoiling you guys huh? Three chapters in a day!! Well....I mightn't be able to post a lot for the next few days. So I want to leave you guys in a sufficiently painful place. *Evil laugh*.
JK! I will update as often as possible. Lemme know your thoughts. VOMMENT. (Vote+Comment)