"Cindy called them because she probably thought I was going to kill myself".
I hated the smell of hospitals. The smell constantly kept your nerves hyper. Not letting you put your guard down.
"At least it's not a concussion".
"I have fucking stitches, Cindy, I have to shave the bottom half of my head now".
I was actively bleeding, not a lot but enough to need stitches. I felt like crying when they shaved a patch of my hair off.
I traced the bandage around my head. I was going to kill Sadie. Most Demonic bitch if there was one.
"Do you want to sue?".
I frowned, nothing but drama would be the result of me pressing charges.
"I attacked first".
I left Cindy to her thoughts as she drove through the maze, also known as the hospital parking lot.
"She hit you when you walked away".
"Drop it, Cindy". I knew she was going to report this to my dad. It was going to be a pain in the ass, dealing with his upcoming fit of rage.
I couldn't bother to even try and talk her out of it. There was no use.
"I don't want to be home tomorrow, I'll go to school".
I listened as Cindy anxiously tapped her fingers against the steering wheel.
"Okay, but call if you need anything". That was a leap of faith for her.
Asking to to call her if I needed anything was her asking me to lean on her, to rely on her. Never.
"I'll just walk home if I need to, or catch a bus".
I took in her taking a sigh of disappointment. "Okay then".
"I'm wearing my black skirt tomorrow, not the mini skirt. The old denim one, just till I get another skirt".
"Okay, I'll go and buy you a new skirt tomorrow".
A part of me wanted to prove to those girls that I didn't hurt myself. I didn't want people thinking I did something when I didn't.
Teenagers are cruel. It's nothing new but lots of us have no moral compass, no sensitivity to others struggles or pain.
I knew for a fact most of those teen attend Willmore academy of the gifted and talented young minds. What a name.
Should be called the academy for dicks and pricks. That's just my personal opinion.
"Who's that?".
I snapped out of my thoughts to see a figure standing infront of my house.
As we got closer, I rolled me eyes. "It's Cameron".
As we parked I basically jumped out of my seat. "What the fuck are you doing here! I said your not allowed".
He looked offended and just shot a glare at me. "I wanted to see if you're dead".
"Fuck off, get lost Cameron!".
Cindy put a hand on my shoulder to try and calm me. "Don't fucking touch me!".
I slapped her hand away. "Why can you leave me alone Cameron! Why can't you just be an asshole like before!".
He took a step forward, hands in his pockets. "Why dose everyone think I'm a fucking dick?!".
"Because you fucking are! You have no respect for other Cameron! I told you not to come but you broke that boundary and came!".
"I was worried".
I took a deep breath and walked past him. I stood at the front door. "You hate me Cameron! Why the fuck are you worried!".
"YOU GOT HIT WITH A POLE JAYDEN!".
"Leave...".
I pushed open the front door and went inside. I ran straight to my room and locked the door.
He can't keep being so bipolar. Nice and caring one minute, rude and a totals dick the next.
I went to my desk and threw the chair across the room. "Fuck you Cameron!".
I grabbed my laptop and the smashed it to the ground. I couldn't calm down. My face was becoming puffy from the tears.
I pulled my desk to the floor, books and memories falling everywhere. I ignored the glass jars breaking as the made contact with the floor.
I walked to my closet and pulled out my old school memories. "And a very big fuck you clay".
I grabbed all the Polaroids of us and shredded the to bits.
I grabbed a heel and walked over to my tv. "FUCK YOU KADEN!".
I impaled my tv with the heel over and over. I fell to the ground sobbing. My life was worthless.
I didn't look at the door as I heard Cindy repeatedly knock on it. "GET AWAY CINDY ! FUCK YOU AND YOUR WHORE OF A HUSBAND!".
I walked over to my trash and pulled out the empty bottles. I threw one at my door and the other at my window.
I listened as Cindy screamed at the sound of my window breaking.
I went to the mess of supplies on my floor and pulled out a pair of scissors.
With my trembling hand I grabbed a chunk of my hair and sliced it off. The long hair ends on the floor, leaving that section at my shoulders.
I unevenly cut the rest of my hair, not caring for a mirror. I just wanted Jayden Clyde gone. I didn't want to live with that pitiful mess. I couldn't live with it.
I fell to the floor. Silent.
I carefully picked up the hair, it felt deadly to touch. Forbidden even.
I don't know how long I sat there for. I felt empty and hollow, lifeless even.
I jumped , startled as the door broke open. I calmly looked at the men in uniform. Cindy behind, with puffy eyes.
"Ma'am ? Are you hurt?".
I looked at the hair and the destruction of the room. I looked back at the cop, kneeling next to me.
"Fuck you". I whispered under my breath.
"Pardon?". He looked confused, worried even. It was ridiculous.
"I said fuck you".
He looked at me and sighed. I looked at the other cop questioning Cindy. I snarled at she shook her head crying.
"I think it's best to take her for a psychological evaluation".
I snapped at the other cops words. "The fuck you are! GET OUT!".
The man near me placed a hand on my shoulder, as if the would calm or reassure me.
"It for the best, it looks like you had quite the breakdown".
"No I'm just fucking pissed". I wasn't like my mom, I didn't have breakdowns.
"Dose she have mental illness in her family ?".
Cindy lifted her tearful face up to the cop. "Her mom has bipolar".
"Liar".
"She dose sweetie".
I stared to laugh, her bullshit was mortifying. I kept laughing as the cop lifted me to my feet.
They lead me outside the house, the light attacking my face.
I wasn't crazy like my mom. Anyway mom was better now, normal. "No please! Let me stay home!".
"If for the best ma'am, it's just a evaluation".
"She's not my guardian! My dad is and he's not here!". The moment those words left my mouth the cop looked at Cindy.
"The father needs to be here to give consent, she's under 18".
Cindy looked at me and smiled, wiping a tear away. "We can do the test when her dad comes back".
As the cops let me out of the grasp I ran to Cindy and slapped her.
"Ma'am! You can't do that!".
The cops ran over , one with his hands on me and the other with Cindy.
"HOW DARE YOU TRY AND SEND ME AWAY YOU BITCH! FUCK YOU , FUCKING HOMEWREAKER!".
I shook myself out of the cops grasp and ran for the street. I needed to get away.
"Jayden come inside! I'll let you be! Just stay here where it's safe!".
"Where ever you are is the worst place for me to be! I will go back to my mom!".
With that I took for the streets. Glad I had my phone on me I called the first person.
"Hello? Who is this?".
"Kaden we need to talk , now".
"Oh okay, do you want to meet up? I'll send you my address".
"Ok".
I looked at her new message with her address. With that I called an Uber. There was no way I was going to walk that far.
The man driving the Uber kept giving me weird looks. "The fuck do you want?".
The man, around 20 rolled his eyes. "You look crazy".
"We'll you should be scared of crazy people".
He scoffed and continued to drive. I looked at the spam of new messages on my phone.
Are you coming to my house?
Kaden told me.
Thanks for wanting to talk it out with her.
I rolled my eyes and shut off my phone. Why was he messaging me from her phone? Oh because I blocked him and blocked will he stay.
I raised an eyebrow at the house he pulled up to. It wasn't as grand as I was expecting.
Yes it wasn't big. I expected crazy shit from the way Cameron acted.
I saw kaden pacing infront of the front door.
I hesitated before getting out. I slowly walked up to her, her eyes widened as she looked me.
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?".
I thought for a moment. "My hair".
She gave me a small smile before rushing over. I let her grab my hand and lead me inside and up the stairs.
"Thanks for wanting to talk".
"We'll talk while fixing my hair".
She lead the way her her room. It was huge, what put me off was instead of a bed, there was a mattress on the floor.
I shrugged it off when she opened up her bathroom door.
"What happened to your head?".
"Sadie hit me with a metal pile, I need you to shave the bottom half of my hair off".
Her eyes winded. "You love your hair?".
"They stitched it up, so there a patch of hair missing"
"Oh , do want me to make your hair even too?".
I nodded. She opened her cabinet and it revealed a huge amount of bleach and different hair dyes.
"I plan to dye my hair today. Do you want a color change too?".
I looked at the dye and back at her. I needed A Friend, someone to help me. Yes she fucked up and I didn't trust her. After today I didn't care.
"Black".
Her face lit up and she pulled out a razor kit and hair scissors.
She started to snip way at my ends, making then even. "Im so sorry jay, I regret what I did so much".
"Why did you blame it on Cameron?". She sighed and continued to snip at my hair.
"Because you hated him, and I knew that you would hate me".
"Hate, I hate him not hated". She chuckled, running her hands through my short hair.
"Done, now the shaving". I looked at my reflection, eyes smeared with mascara. Puffy from crying. My face felt tight and stiff in a way.
I shut my eyes tightly as I felt the buzzing razor at my skin. I felt the coolness of the air caress the hair skin.
I tightened my grasp on the bandage in my hands. I could feel my heart beat at my chest. It was driving me crazy.
"Where are you parents?".
"My parents are divorced, my mom is back in Chicago right now".
"Oh".
I let my eyes open as I watch her face, full of concentration.
"My hair going is driving me crazy".
"I love my hair too, so I get it".
I felt a tear slip down as she placed the razor on the counter. She reached for a large hand mirror so I could see the back.
The stitches were purple and red. Newly shut. I traced my hand over the stubble to used to be long and red.
"It looks pretty cool".
"Thanks...".
She lifted the back of her hair and looked intensely into the mirror.
"CAMMY!".
I looked at her, "why are you calling him?".
She flashed me a grin. "I want an undercut too".
I studied her face. I knew why she was doing it. Another way to apologise.
I looked away as Cameron walked into the room. "Yeah? oh hi Jayden".
I didn't reply . "Can you give me and under cut?".
I kept my gaze on the bandage in my hands. "Okay?".
I sat up from the stool and at on the edge of the tub. I looked at Cameron sectioning her hair and cutting large chunks off with the scissors.
He gave me a side glance but I looked away. I could feel the intense pity in the air. They both felt back for me.
Fuck.
I focused of the sound of the razor and kaden giggling at the feeling.
"This feels weird".
I weakly smiled. I regret coming here, I felt like they were both analysing me.
Kaden jumped off the chair to admire her new cut. I could see behind the smile. She didn't like it.
She did it so she would be on the same boat as me. I felt like shit but I gave her a weak smile as she showed me it.
"Black right?".
"Let's match! My hair is so dead that it needs a break anyway!".
Kaden did mess up. The girls from malle would die before doing this for me.
She pulled out two boxes. "You have way to much hair dye kaden".
"Shut up Cameron". She chuckled and opened the boxes.
"Why are you dyeing you hair?".
I looked up, realising the question was directed to me. "I need to let myself go, I don't want to be Jayden Clyde anymore".
He didn't say anything but give me a discreet nod. Kaden started to pour the contents into the bottle.
"Do you need help doing your hair jay?".
"I normally get mine done at a shop, I never dyed my hair myself".
She smiled and handed a pair of gloves to Cameron, who hesitated before grabbing them.
"Cameron helps with mine all the time. I'll do mine and he can do your, if your okay with that".
I looked at the gloves and at Cameron. He gave me a smile, you would almost think it was genuine. I didn't trust anyone or anything right now.
I didn't have the mental energy to argue. I just nodded and kaden smiled, handing the ready dye to him.
"I'll get you a shirt jay, your wearing your uniform".
I watched her leave the bathroom.
Cameron sat on the stool, facing me. "What happened, you know when I left".
I looked into his eyes. I looked at my hand, I wasn't sure if telling him would give him ammunition against me.
"The cops said something about a breakdown".
His eyes grew worried. "Cops?".
"Cindy called them because she probably thought I was going to kill myself".
I watched him place a hand on my knee. I had a flash back to the photo we took.
"Were you?".
I looked at him. Disbelief in my eyes. "No".
"Good. Everyone would be destroyed if you died".
"I'm not suicidal Cameron, calm down".
He chuckled and pulled his hand away.
I stared at the empty space on my knee, part of me wanting him to put his hand there again.
"You so bipolar".
"It's a façade".
I studied his words. Façade.
"Why?".
"It's what people expect of me, and no matter how much I try I just prove them right".
I was cut off as kaden walked in with a large shirt.
"Here you go, me and Cameron will leave so you can change, if you unfold the shirt there should be a pair of shorts there".
I looked at the large shirt and lifted it apart to see a pair of bike shorts.
They left the room and I slipped the clothes on. I looked back at my reflection.
Maybe I was like my mom.