Friday.
Friday is finally here.
The day of the party is finally here.
A weekend away from my brothers is finally here.
Connor is finally here.
I tap my leg against the bottom of the car, anticipation taking control of my limbs as I count down the minutes until I would finally be at Zach's house having the time of my life.
Rue turns the corner, driving us down our street. I bite at my lip, my hand twitching on the door handle as I eye our house.
"Hurry. Hurry. Hurry." I mumble, running my hands over the tops of my thighs. My eyes catch Oscar's through the review mirror, and he eyes me curiously. I give him a nod, barely aware of the movement as I think of Connor. I can't restrain the grin that spreads across my lips as I think of his soft skin and curly hair. He had smelled so good, and his kiss had been even better. Fuck, he was so damn handsome, I bet he looks even better naked.
"Bro, you okay?" Rue's voice draws me out of my thoughts. I feel my cheeks heat up at his words, and at the idea of being caught thinking such dirty thoughts. I quickly turn towards the window before Rue can catch me blushing and tease me about it.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I finally get out, my words rough as I rub at my cheeks.
"You don't look okay." Rue challenges his voice light with suspicion. His tone causes me to gaze at him. His hazel brown eyes flicker between me and the road.
I give him an irritated shrug, suddenly feeling on guard with his interest in my behavior. I really didn't need him giving any of my brothers a reason to cancel my sleep over. "Why do you care?" I snap.
"Woah, okay chill. You were just grinning like an idiot, I wanted to make sure everything was alright," Rue pauses, giving me a long look in the mirror before he breaks out into a grin. "Wouldn't want you getting a boner before you see Mrs. Milton." He winks at me, giving a long perverted moan before he pants out 'Oh, Cheryl'.
"Quit it." I gasp, his moans quickly drawing me away from Connor and to him. He smirks at me, briefly turning away from the road to look at me. My heart suddenly begins to race as our eyes lock. I blink, unable to look away from him as he smiles at me.
"I'm in love with Zachary's mom." Rue laughs, singing the tune of Stacey's mom. He turns away from me breaking me out of the spell. I furrow my eyebrows, hitting roughly at his shoulder. I blink, studying his side profile, my eyes focusing in on the few freckles that painted the side of his face.
Fuck, what had just happened? I run a hand down my face. I need to get a hold of myself. I don't care how horny I am. I'm about to get my own ass tonight, so my hormones could stop trying to get me together with my brothers. I scoff at the notion, before shuddering at the thought of Rue.
"Ash, you okay?" Oscar asks lightly, his fingertips brushing the side of my jaw. The contact makes me jump. Oscar stares at me with wide eyes, his bottom lip in his mouth. He blinks, his long lashes brushing his cheek.
"Ummm...yeah, Rue is just an idiot." I breathe, slumping back in my seat.
"Mhmmm, love you too." Rue quips back sarcastically without missing a beat.
He finally pulls to a stop in front of our house, slowing the car down gradually before he puts it in park. I grab for the door handle but the sound of the locks clicking suddenly halts my movements
I turn towards Rue to see him twisted around in his seat, his pale hand resting on the back of Oscar's seat.
"Hey, if you want me to give you a ride, you're going to have to hurry up. My shift starts in thirty minutes." He tells me, before turning back around in his seat.
"Okay," I nod. "I'll be right back." I quickly unlock the door and jump out. My feet race up the driveway, the heavy pounding slap they make against the concrete seems to echo a drum of freedom throughout my bones. My mind begins to drift back towards a naked Connor, no longer frazzled and distracted by my over-sexual idiot brother.
My plan is almost completed.
I'm about to become popular.
I'm about to lose my virginity.
I'm about to become my own person.
And, I did it all by myself.
A jolt of adrenaline sloshes through my veins causing me to run faster. I throw open the front door and make my way towards the stairs. My mind doesn't even register the fact that I'm running in the house or that I hadn't taken my shoes off. The only thing I can think about is making it to my room so that I can pack my bags and get the heck out of this hell hole.
I race up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
Hunter brushes past me as I climb the last one, making me skid to a stop to let him by. His dark hair is under a beanie and the stubble is back. "Have fun." He says, giving me a smile that reveals his dimples. He runs a hand through my hair, dragging his thumb down my cheek before he continues down the stairs.
"Will do." I nod, watching him descend down the steps.
The flow of adrenaline quickly creeps up my body, landing on my tongue and making me call out to Hunter before I can even process what I'm doing.
He turns to me, raising an eyebrow in question. His tan skin seems to glow in the lighting, and his muscles seem triple the size they usually are. The black shirt he's wearing makes his eyes flash. I quickly look away from him beginning to feel the tremors in my heart that I had felt with Rue.
"Uhhhh..." I breathe out. My mind races as I try to find some excuse as to why I had called him.
"What is it Ash?" Hunter's deep voice calls making me bite at my lip. I had kept my like of his facial hair for a secret for so long, and I wasn't quite sure what kind of signals I would be giving off if I suddenly told him about it. His face is open and patient as he stares up at me. My eyes linger on his sharp jaw, now lightly covered by hair that seems to make him even sexier. I shrug before slowly touching my face.
"Y—you should keep that," I finally stutter. I hesitantly let my hand fall down my cheeks, allowing my finger tips to graze my chin before I look up at him. "Ummm...it looks nice on you."
He blinks rapidly at my words, obviously taken aback by my compliment. "Thank you." A warm smile spreads across his lips, as he stares at me, his eyes seeming to take on an intensity.
I quickly drop my gaze, giving him an awkward wave. "Alright, see you Sunday." I quickly turn back around and make my way down the hall.
I shake my head, taking a quick glance over my shoulder.
Shit, I needed to get laid right now. I had just told Hunter he looked attractive.
I'm really fucking up today.
"Mhmmm...yeah...right there."
The sound of a muffled voice makes me stop. I whip my head around the hallway trying to identify the source of the sound. I grimace as my eyes land on my door. The noise drifts out carelessly as if the assholes could care less that they could be potentially scarring someone.
A laugh followed by another sexual groan makes me shudder. An irritated sigh vibrates in my throat. I glare at the door hoping whoever was in there could feel my stare.
The sound of the front door closing immediately makes me drop the glare as I realize I only had so much time before Rue ditches me.
A breath of determined air passes my lips as I inch towards my door. I eye the crack steadily.
"Please don't be doing anything too x-rated." I mumble, pushing my fingertips into the door.
I shrink back as someone lets out a loud groan. Gross, that was definitely Augustus.
I shake my head, there is no way I'm going in there now. Seeing his dick once was enough. I wince as I think of that night and my naked brothers. I bite my lip, pinching my arm before I can start to think about what they were doing before I had burst in.
Another moan reminds me of the dwindling time and my need to get in the room.
Jeez, I need to stop being such a baby. I just need to man up and go in there. I shake my head and furrow my eyebrows. It's not like I haven't seen them having sex before.
I take a few small steps towards the door. I tap at it gingerly, allowing it to open slowly. My eyes fall into a squint as I brace myself for the worst.
My eyes widen as I take in the scene.
Augustus lies face down on the bed, his long arms under his pillow. I could see the length of his bare back and most of his legs. The only thing that was keeping him from being completely naked was a towel laying across his butt. He reaches for a bottle of lotion on the floor next to his bed, before handing it to Calloway who sits on top of him. Our older brother straddles Augustus' lower back, his hands working at his shoulders. Callie is almost completely nude too, a pair of grey boxers the only thing keeping him from being completely exposed.
"Does that feel good?" Calloway murmurs running his hands down Augustus back. Augustus gives a brief shake of his head, his eyes closed, but his face towards me. He bites at his bottom lip as Calloway spreads more lotion on his back. "If you turn over I can make you feel even better." Callie whispers dropping down next to Augustus' ear.
"Ewww! Woah woah, stop!" I yell, holding my hands up in front of me. Callie turns to me in surprise, his eyes wide.
"Oh sorry, I didn't see you there." He says continuing to Massage Augustus' back as if what they were doing was totally okay.
I shake my head, a sigh falling from my lips. See, this is what I was ready to get away from. Random sexual encounters and always feeling uncomfortable. Why the heck did they need to do it in my room, and why couldn't they respect my boundaries?
"Get lost." Augustus orders me, waving me towards the door.
I glare at him, throwing my backpack on my bed as I walk over to our closet.
"No, stupid, this is my room too! You're not even supposed to be having sex in here." I throw over my shoulder, my voice coated in disbelief. I shake my head before I begin ruffling through the closet for a bag I could take to Zach's.
"I know you're an idiot and all, but we're not having sex. It's called a massage." Augustus says causing me to turn and stick my tongue out at him.
"It basically is, you're moaning and all that weird crap." I huff, grabbing at a brown duffel bag. I eye the worn thing before pulling it out and standing to grab at clothes in the closet. I really don't cares whose stuff I'm taking, all I really care about is getting out of here.
"Sorry baby." Calloway hums.
I don't bother correcting him on the pet name as I set the bag on my bed. I glance down at my clothes and frown. I was wearing a pair of hand me down jeans that should have been handed to the garbage a long time ago and t-shirt that is probably as unflattering as Augustus' personality.
"I'm about to change, don't be pervy." I say, glancing at my brothers.
"No one wants to see your pre-pubescent body." Augustus chuckles causing me to clench my jaw in anger.
"I already hit puberty you dummy." I yell, reaching to slap at the back of his ankle.
My fingers catch in the collar of my shirt as I look down at my body. Did it actually look bad? Maybe I really did look like a ten year old. It would explain why no one but my brothers were interested in me. Even then, they were never too pushy. They allowed me privacy with showering and being naked. What if I actually am ugly? What if Connor changes his mind?
"Whatever you say midget." Augustus says followed by a muffled laughter from Calloway.
My eyes cut over to him, he's staring at me, his light looking eyes narrowly escaping his white hair. He raises an eyebrow at me before flipping me off. I rip my shirt off before throwing it at him.
'Fuck you' I mouth. He gives me a lazy shrug before mouthing back 'no thanks'.
I glare at him.
"You know what forget both of you? Who even wants to be tall? I bet you're both just mad that your back starts to cramp up when you suck dick."
There's a short silence after my comment before they both burst out into laughter.
Calloway turns to me, gazing at me over his naked shoulder and through his hair. "What the heck?" He laughs, his eyes crinkling.
"You're stupid." Augustus sighs, throwing my shirt back at me.
"Come on, let's go take a shower." Callie says, his laughter finally starting to die down. He slips off of Augusts and walks over to me. I try to keep my eyes on his face instead of his body. His eyes are light with amusement as they capture mine. He gives me a cute smile before grabbing my chin. "You better watch your language before I watch it for you." He murmurs, closing the distance between us quickly as he slips a hand around my waist pulling our bare chest together. "Got it?" He places his soft lips on mine before I can react, and pulls away even quicker. I blush madly, falling back on my bed. I could feel my heart beating rapidly again.
I rub at my chest, willing the stupid flutters to calm. I did not like this sudden accessory, it was hard enough not checking them out. As much as I deny it, I know my brothers are so fucking hot.
My eyes turn to Augustus who doesn't even look at me as he secures his towel before standing and heading out the door.
I stand once my blush dies down, sliding out of my pants and slipping on tighter clothes.
It's still another hand-me-down outfit, but in much better condition. I pat my butt lightly, hoping it looked good in the black jeans.
When Oscar use to wear them they always showed his ass off nicely.
If I didn't look good in them, maybe he would be too drunk to tell.
I run a hand through my hair attempting to make it look better without a mirror. I glance over my shoulder checking to make sure no one is coming before I walk over to Augustus' bed, dropping to my knees and pulling out his chest.
I quickly rummage through it before my eyes land on a bottle. I eye Augustus' cologne turning the black container in my hand. There's still a lot in it. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't notice if I take a few sprays.
I glance behind me one more time before squirting it across my body. I cough inhaling too much of the scent.
"Ugh." I gag, placing the bottle back in the chest. I push it back under the bed. "Too much?" I mumble taking a large sniff. A grin spreads across my face as I sneeze. Fuck I smelled good.
Okay. My bag's packed. I look good and I smell good. All I need now are the drugs.
I stand, making my way out of the room. I search the hallway, making sure it's clear before I walk over to Hunter's room. I peak in carefully, making sure no one is in there before I shut the door. My eyes travel up the fan, I squint my eyes, trying to figure out what prong I had put it on. My eyebrows furrow as I don't spot it. I pull up a stool, stepping on it and looking for the bag of drugs I had left there.
A nervous breath of air blows through my nose as I spin the fan. Where is it? I swallow, my eyes widening. It's not here. I's not fucking here.
I wobble on the stool my heart stopping, not even the tape I used to secure it in place was here.
Fuck.
Fuck. I'm so dead.
I take slow unsteady steps off the stool my legs shaking violently beneath me. Who the hell took it? And, why the heck am I still alive?
Maybe they're all discussing my punishment now. Maybe they're all going to wait and attack me at one time.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
I shake my head, roughly pulling at the strands of my hair as I yank my hand through the silver mess.
Oh fuck, I'm dead. I'm so dead. I might as well just end myself before they get a chance to. I squeeze at my knees trying to soothe the bitter adrenaline that was now running through my veins.
No, wait.
Rueben obviously wasn't the one who found it because he's still in the car. And, if he had been the one to find it, he would have acted on impulse and beat my ass.
Calloway, and Augustus were out because they would have confronted me when I walked in on them.
Okay, that leaves Hunter, Adair and Oscar.
Hunter would have killed me on the stairs. And, Adair would have been waiting for me at the door.
I scratch at the back of my neck, my heart slowing as I chew on my bottom lip. If Oscar found it, he wouldn't say anything to anyone. He would talk to me personally or wouldn't bring it up at all.
I roll my shoulders back and stand. It had to be Oscar.
I quickly exit the room, my eyes immediately meeting hazel ones. Oscar stands leaning against the banister, his hair straightened and hanging around his face. He tucks the oak brown strands behind his ear before he crosses his arms tightly over his chest. He nods at our room, his lips set in a firm line. I don't bother asking questions as I hurriedly enter it. Oscar closes the door behind us, his dark looking eyes running over me.
His stare makes me nervous and I feel my face redden in embarrassment.
How did he find the bag? How did he even know it was me?
Questions that only seem to leave me more rattled run through my mind as Oscar and I stare at each other.
I raise my hands rubbing the sweaty skin together before I blow in them. Oscar shakes his head at me.
"Asher—."
"Can I just have it back?" I squeak, unable to keep my voice normal. "You don't have to lecture me or anything."
My voice is quiet and I can barely make it through a sentence without rubbing my sweaty hands on my pants.
"You want me to give my little brother a bag full of dope back? Are you crazy?" He asks, staring at me in disbelief.
I shrug, my eyes flickering to the closet. I scratch at my arm nervously as I rock on my heels. "Ozzie...please I need it." I say softly, dragging my eyes back to look at him.
His eyes widen at my words. "Why?! What could you possibly need those drugs for? Are you taking any of that stuff? Hell, are you selling it? How did you even get the money for that?" His voice raises an octave before he lowers it, taking a step towards me. I quickly take a step back not liking his suddenly brotherly tone and use of profanity.
"No! No I'm not. And, I didn't steal money or anything. I mean did ask for it...so it's alright. Look, I just need to take it to Zach's." I say, waving my hands in the air. His eyes widen and I quickly cut him off before he can speak again. "And, no Zach is not selling or taking drugs either."
Oscar lets out a low breath of air that resembles a laugh before he's glancing behind him at the door.
I quickly step towards him, drawing his eyes back to me.
"Look, I just need it for one night. For just one weekend. Can you let me have fun? For just once in my life?" I plead, chewing on my bottom lip as I take in his facial expressions.
"Asher. No. If this is what your definition of fun is, then absolutely not. I'm not letting you walk out of this house with drugs! Do you know how serious this is?" He hisses, furrowing his brows deeply. He grabs my bicep. His hair had fallen from behind his ear again. It hangs over his shoulder stretching out towards me.
"Oscar, I'll do anything you want! I swear! Just let me take it. I won't take any, I promise. It's just for the people at the party."
"As--."
"Really, I mean anything." I say lowly, cutting him off. I hook my finger in a loop of his pants, pulling his lower half towards me. He instantly jumps away from me, giving me a horrified look.
"Who do you think I am?" He asks hugging himself tightly, his eyes look at me as if I betrayed him.
A new wave of embarrassment washes over me at his rejection and my audacity to suggest something like that. I quickly look away from him. An awkward air sprinkles the room dripping from the ceiling in loud splatters that taunt me and my stupidity.
The sound of Rue beeping the horn outside makes us both jump. It halts the rain; sucking it from the room as my anger quickly dispels the silence. Oscar was about to make me miss my only shot at becoming my own person. I glare at him.
"I'm going to that party and there's nothing you can do to stop me." I say through gritted teeth. Oscar jumps at my sudden change in demeanor his face paling.
My eyes quickly run over the room assessing the small place for a spot to hide my bag.
"How do you even know it's in here?" Oscar says, grabbing my arm and spinning me around.
"I don't, so tell me." I challenge staring up into his face. I don't soften my gaze as I stare up at him.
Oscar's eyes falter for a minute and he looks away. "I'm not telling you anything, Ash. Can we please just drop it? Just stay here, I'll do all your chores for the next month, even cooking." His voice has softened and taken back its fragile skeleton.
"Where is it?" I say harshly ripping my arm from his grasp. I spin around, trying to locate any nooks or crannies. I move towards his bed.
"Fine, Asher I'll do it for the next year." He tries again, his voice pleading. I don't reply as I drop down on my knees searching under his bed. I pull out his chest, quickly rifling through it, only to find nothing.
I sigh, sitting back on my feet and dropping my head in my hands. I was really about to miss my chance. After everything I worked for, all the planning, all the waiting, all of this and now it was over because of freaking Oscar.
I peer up through my hands, my eyes going to the window to look at Rue's car. I had missed my chance. I was stuck here now. As nothing more than the baby brother.
I push up off my feet. "Fine Oscar you win. Hap--." My voice trails off as I squint my eyes, studying the window. The latch was undone, leaving it unlocked. We never open the window when it's this cold. I walk over to the glass, setting my hands under the ceil to pull it up. The feeling of warm hands over mine stop me.
"Stop it Ash." He cries, attempting to drag my hands away. "I'm trying to help."
"You're doing the opposite." I push him away from me, sending him tumbling back.
I push the window open leaning out of it. The bag sits stuck in the gutter a little farther down. I have to climb out a little to get it. I shake my head as I lean back in and shut the window.
Why hadn't I thought of hiding it there?
"Ash, you can go to Jail over this for a very long time." Oscar tries again. Reaching for the bag, but I quickly stuff it in my suitcase before swinging it over my shoulder.
"I won't get caught. It's fine. I'll be back in three days."
"Are you kidding me? There's a good chance that you might. You fucking hid that on a ceiling fan! A ceiling fan! I saw it when I first walked in. You're lucky everyone else was preoccupied. I saved you Ash, the least you could do is listen to me." Oscar shakes his head at me, running a hand through his brown hair before chewing on his thumb.
"I've got to go, Rue's waiting." I say walking to the door and opening it.
"I'll tell."
The words are soft. In the same tone and approach Oscar always uses. Uncertain and overly self-conscious. I can hear the fear he has behind the words. I turn to him my eyes locking with his.
"If you tell you're dead to me," I hiss, squinting at him. His eyes widen. "I won't ever speak to you again, and you can find someone else to sleep next to. On top of that I'll tell them that you're not eating again, and that those sleeves aren't just because it's getting cold."
I was bluffing about his sleeves. I had no idea if he really started cutting again.
"A-ash...." He doesn't finish his sentence as his face morphs into one of pain. I watch as his finger tighten, biting into his skin.
I guess I was right.
His hazel eyes bore into mine, they shimmer with distrust and hurt, making me instantly regret my words.
"Oscar I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have said th—."
"Fine." Oscar wheezes defiantly, wiping a rough hand across his cheek before he pulls at his sleeves. He drops his eyes away from me, clutching himself tightly.
I stare at him, unable to stop the guilt that courses through me as I take in his broken form. Why the fuck did I threaten him with that? That was crossing a line. A big line.
"Ozzie." I say lightly. He doesn't look up at me. "Ozzie look, why don't you come with me then? That way you can keep an eye on me..."
I take a step towards him and he takes a step back.
A feeling of hurt washes over me at the action.
He finally looks up at me. His eyes are wet and he has to blink multiple times to make sure the water doesn't escape from his eyes. I've betrayed him and it's obvious.
"I'll come."