I stopped by my parents' house Wednesday to see my father after he made a request to speak to me.
I had hoped it was good news. That he was summoning me over to tell me that the engagement was off, but there was no such luck.
In the doorway to his bedroom my hopes were crushed by the ever-present sight of Cain. My father had his reading glasses on and was skimming a stack of papers as Cain stood back waiting patiently.
There was business, and then there was harassment. Why couldn't Cain work with Phil while my father took a step down?
"Sit," my father ordered without taking his eyes off his reading.
Of course Phil couldn't just lead Nichols & Wagner. My father wouldn't step down if you paid him.
"Can't you say please?" I replied as I remained standing in the doorway.
My father lowered his glasses and gaped at me.
Cain said nothing as he stood coolly waiting for my father to finish whatever they were going over.
A beat went by as my father continued to stare at me. In the end, like always, I conceded.
I went and took a seat in the chair by his bed and waited my turn.
My father went back to Cain. "You wanna extend on my property, fine, but you're thinking small."
Cain took the criticism with ease. "Damon, a complete remodel would take far more time than an extension."
"Okay?" my father challenged. "I've got time. What, do you have something else more pressing at hand?"
Cain's gaze flickered to mine. "He's going to outlive us all."
Even if he were teasing, we could only hope.
My father held the papers out for Cain to take. "I still want the new structure in LA. The Residence at Cartier should be a completely new look and design. We're not cutting corners."
Cain accepted this with a nod of his head. "Yes, sir."
"Now, on to the next order of business." My father removed his glasses and sat up a little more, trying to get comfortable as he faced me.
"Should we be alone?" I wondered of Cain's presence.
My father made a face. "Up to him."
I watched as Cain's finger tapped the stack of papers in his hand as he looked from my father to me. Being polite, he decided to step out into the hall to give us privacy.
I waited until the door was shut behind him before giving my father my full attention. "Well?"
The grave expression on his face had me wary. "About the wedding," he began with a sigh. "It is tradition for a father to walk his daughter down the aisle to give her away. Have you been thinking about that?"
My wedding. He wanted to talk about the impending worst day of my life.
"No," I admitted. "I haven't."
"I don't know how I'll be by December," my father sounded vulnerable, unlike himself. "This thing can't be controlled or reasoned with. The most people live with this disease is three years and we're on year two."
I wanted to plug my ears, to stop him from talking about such a possibility of him not being here. Of him dying. I knew the statistics of ALS like the back of my hand after so much time. Only five percent went on to live twenty years, and ten percent lived ten. My father, he was a special man, a strong man, and a fully capable man of living with this diagnosis rather than succumbing to it.
Only a small few had ALS remit, and others had it burn out within them. On average, it wasn't stoppable or reversible, but I had hope my father could continue the fight. He seemed determined enough.
"You'll be the one," I spoke up clearly and concisely. "You've always been the strongest man I know. I'm positive you'll be the one who sees another year and then another and more."
A wry smile had my father's face briefly lighting up. "Your mother wants to plan something for January. A big charity event to bring awareness. There's only so long I can put this off. I thought about skipping the wedding, but then that wouldn't be fair to you."
The wedding itself wasn't fair to me, but I didn't have it in me to bring it up. "We could always not do a wedding, and just get married at a courthouse."
My father clicked his tongue. "I'd rather you move the wedding up than do that."
Move the wedding closer? I shuddered to think of my time being semi-single being cut short. Cain had given me his word we wouldn't have to consummate our marriage if we got married, but I wasn't willing to test that theory any time soon.
"Couldn't you just work this angle with Cain?" I pleaded. "Try to get him to see how absurd this whole thing is. Our family is going through a lot right now and who can think of planning a wedding and a marriage?"
"I talk to him, Neddy," my father said. "And he's certain he wants to go through with this. He's a little cold, but he's not so bad. What's wrong with him?"
"I don't want him!" I practically snapped. I had to stop and collect myself before I seriously broke down. "What about what I want, Daddy? You're making this about money. As if a man with a normal job couldn't make me just as happy."
"We'll never know now, will we?" My father was dismissing my train of thought and I knew better than to argue.
Instead, I stood from my chair and lifted my chin with dignity I didn't feel. "You better hope you do outlive us all, because otherwise you're willing to spend your last days ensuring my misery all while you and Phil land a deal you won't see through."
I didn't bother waiting for a response before seeing myself out of his room and down the stairs. I had to go and meet with Keith. Being with him was the only means of happiness I knew these days.
"Kennedy!" My mother was coming down the hall with Cain behind her. She was smiling and flagging me down. "Don't go, the food is on its way."
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"Well, I was thinking about how the official engagement party didn't go so well," my mother began as she glanced between me and my fiancé. "And, so, I figured it'd be nice to have a personal engagement dinner with the family. Your father's going to come down and we'll all eat at the table. I ordered catering."
Horror washed through me at the idea. "No."
At my mother's surprise and Cain's attention, I quickly went on. "I...I have plans."
My mother swallowed. "Well, I should've considered you were busy. I-I guess we could always reschedule—"
"Nonsense," Cain insisted as he came up beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "What Kennedy means is, thank you."
The finality in his words stunned me silent.
My mother frowned. "If Kennedy has plans it's all right to do this another time."
Cain regarded me. "What are your plans?"
Oh shit. "Jadyn and I—"
"Invite her over," Cain responded before I could finish. He faced my mother. "If that's all right with you? We've been engaged for a month or so now and I haven't even met Kennedy's closest friend."
My mother's eyes widened as she looked at me. She felt just as put on the spot as I did. "Well, if it's no trouble for Kennedy, it would be a treat to have Jadyn over."
I wanted to speak up, to say that it was an inconvenience to have this impromptu dinner, but I couldn't. Not when I wasn't going to see Jadyn, but Keith. "Sounds...good."
My mother rubbed behind her neck, forcing a smile on her face. "Well then, Irene and I will go and get your father." She looked towards Cain, studying his person. "You can invite your men in, there'll be plenty of food. And, please, take off your jacket. Get comfortable."
The moment she stepped away I gathered my cell phone to send Keith a text.
Or so, I'd planned.
One second my phone was in my hand, and the next Cain had it.
"What are you doing?" I snapped.
"You heard her," Cain replied. "This is a night for family."
"I have to talk to Jadyn so she can come over," I said as calmly as possible.
Cain held my phone up. "Then call her. I'll wait."
Fuck.
"This is psychotic," I bit out as I snatched my phone.
Cain arched a brow, taking a curious stance. "How so?"
I couldn't call Keith. Not with Cain standing in front of me. So, reluctantly, I pressed the contact for Jadyn's number and called her as Cain watched me while my hand shook.
"I hate you," I uttered as the line rang.
"That's an interesting response," Cain marveled as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.
Hate was such a strong word. And I had every right to feel that way about Cain.
"Hello?" Jadyn picked on her end and I wished it were Keith I was talking to instead. Keith who was about to be stood up. Keith who didn't deserve to worry over why I didn't show up.
"Hey, listen, my mom's throwing me a private engagement dinner here at the house. She wants to invite you over," I explained. "My warden would like to meet you."
Jadyn snickered. "I really don't know what to say to that, Kenn."
"Well, it's too late to vet the guy, but it would be nice for you to meet," I tried to make a joke of it but my mood wouldn't lift. My heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't stop thinking about what I was giving up by staying and having dinner here.
"Got you. I'm on my way," Jadyn promised before hanging up.
With that squared away I had no choice but to relinquish my phone as Cain held his hand out expectantly.
"I'm not a child, you know," I said through gritted teeth.
Cain tucked my phone away. "This is a night for family, and friends. Why would you need to be on your phone?"
I glowered at him. "Because it's mine."
Really, I'd never been a violent person in my life, and all I wanted to do was strangle him with his stupid tie. And then I took in his Tom Ford jacket. My mother wanted it off so he'd be more at home.
Rolling my eyes, I held out my Saint Laurent open between us. "Your jacket. My mom said to take it off. I don't know about you, but it's not good dinner etiquette to have guns out at the table."
Cain thought about my offer for all of a moment before he slowly removed his jacket. He set it on the table near the stairs and then removed his gun and holster.
"Thank you," he said.
Cain gathered his jacket and slung it over his arm. "Try to have a good night, Wife."
With him and my parents holding me hostage? I wouldn't.
Jadyn arrived at the same time as the catering was delivered. My mother had ordered from The Sheridan, making me at least anticipate the food. Except, I was naturally expected to sit next to my fiancé instead of my best friend.
"Jay, this is my fiancé, Cain Carter, and Cain, this is my best friend, Jadyn," I said by way of introduction of the two.
Cain reached out and shook hands with Jadyn, offering his version of a kind smile.
It worked. Jadyn had gushed over his photographs; in person she was doing a double take at Cain's good looks.
Perhaps I was an anomaly for not being affected by my fiancé's looks.
"Very nice to meet you," Cain said smoothly. "I've heard great things."
Jadyn peeked at me. In her eyes I could see the question of, Is he really that bad?
Focus, my gaze said back.
"Likewise," Jadyn responded to Cain before going and taking her seat.
Jadyn had worn a cozy looking maroon sweater and jeans. I was only supposed to be stopping by, so I'd dressed in a hoodie and leggings. I felt out of place as I removed my baseball cap and settled in my seat next to Cain. Worse, I was antsy over Keith. I didn't know his number by heart to sneak and call him to let him know I wouldn't be coming. I hated to think he was at home waiting on me.
"Well, look who it is!" My father's voice boomed into the room as he came in on his electric wheelchair.
To further hide my father's condition, my parents had installed a lift onto the back staircase, helping him be able to be transported from the first and second floor without being seen.
Jadyn took my father in for the first time since he'd been diagnosed and her face broke out into a smile as she rose from her chair. She went and hugged him close. Prior to recent events, my parents had always adored Jadyn.
"You're looking sharp," my father appraised Jay.
My best friend blinked back tears. "So are you. I've missed you, Damon. It's good to see you."
On Jadyn's side of the table, Vino and Beans had joined us reluctantly. Unlike Cain, they didn't remove their jackets. Down time or not, they were still carrying.
Irene helped my father get situated at the table and I could see by the grimace on my mother's face she was anxious to step in.
"Now, everyone good?" my father asked.
Everyone murmured that they were.
"Good, let's eat," my father announced.
Around the table everyone began passing dishes. There were meatballs and pasta for the meat eaters, along with chicken marsala, a house salad, and tomato mozzarella bruschetta. My mother had gotten shrimp paesano for my benefit.
As good as it tasted, I could barely eat a bite. Not when I was supposed to be in Bedford making dinner with Keith.
"So, Cain, where are you from?" Jadyn asked. She had this innocent look to her, but I knew she was digging for me.
"Kinda feels like I'm from all over. I spent some time in Inglewood, Lindenwood—"
"And now you're in this neck of the woods," my father joked.
His corny dad joke gathered a round of light chuckles.
"Right," Cain offered a loose smile. "Where are you from, Jadyn?"
"Bedford Heights," Jadyn chirped up proudly.
Cain tipped his head. "Good area."
Jadyn agreed. "It's not too far from here, which I can handle when it comes to Kenn." Her eyes drank me in and a sadness touched them. "Just promise me you two won't move to Vegas on me."
Cain ran his hand up and down my arm, a silk caress that left me startled and stiff. "I mostly run Cartier from here. I do fly out to do walk-throughs and make sure things are on the up and up, but I have no intention of moving Kennedy away from her family."
I forced a shrimp into my mouth and attempted to focus on the garlic goodness to keep my face even.
"How long have you and Kennedy been friends?" Cain asked next.
"We met freshman year at UCLA. We both tried the whole sorority thing and realized it wasn't for us," Jadyn confessed. "But we clicked, though, so we've been friends ever since."
"UCLA? What were you studying?"
"She's an aspiring filmmaker," my father spoke up thoughtfully. He'd always admired Jadyn's ambition as well. "She's going to be the next big thing."
"As soon as she lets us hand over a script," my mother teased.
Jadyn blushed and shrugged in Cain's direction. "My dream is to direct and write, and as much as I appreciate the Nichols and their support, I kinda just want to make it on my own."
"Nothing wrong with a little help," Cain responded.
"We'll see," Jadyn said non-committal. "So, what about you? What's it like running a casino?"
Cain regarded my father before turning back to Jadyn. "It's...an adjustment. The whole thing sorta just fell into my lap when my father passed."
"Sounds overwhelming," Jadyn noted.
Cain didn't disagree. "It was. I kept most of James's team since they know Cartier by hand, and I can say since working with Damon and Phil, I've learned a few pointers as well."
My father was touched by that remark as he smiled and ate some of his pasta.
Growing up, he had never been the type of man who stressed about having a boy. He was comfortable and happy to have me as a daughter. In the weeks since the engagement, it was almost as if he'd adapted to the idea of having a son as well. Especially one willing to learn the trade.
"So." Jadyn rested her chin on her fist as she peered at Cain intently. "What made you want to marry Kennedy?"
I smirked as I caught my mother coughing on her wine.
Cain wasn't fazed. "I saw her at a charity event and she just held the whole room's attention. She radiated grace, light, humility—she had everything I'd ever dreamed of in a woman."
"And you just had to have her?" Jadyn commented, her genuine interest showing.
Cain glanced my way. "So long as she's willing to have me."
It was a "cute" comment, one earning an aww from Irene and even Jadyn, though I was sure at least Jay was faking.
As expected, I lit up at Cain's words and played my part.
Dinner went on and I went on autopilot, smiling when needed, laughing when others did, and appearing interested even though my mind was miles away.
While I'd only gotten a portion of the shrimp paesano, I noticed Cain had a little of everything. He wasn't a picky eater I could see as he seemed to enjoy it all without complaint. It was while watching him try some of the bruschetta and smile to himself that it dawned on me. At some point, he had starved. I suddenly recollected all of the meals we'd shared together and I could see a pattern. He ate with appreciation and he was always gracious to our server. He was his most humane when eating, because it was a luxury he hadn't always had.
My appetite slipped away as the idea settled into my mind.
Before he was a villain, Cain Carter had been a victim, too.
When dinner was over, I hugged Jadyn close, wishing to take some of her confidence with me.
"Take care," she told me. Her vision slid to Cain and she offered him a tightlipped smile. "It was nice meeting you."
Cain stood beside me. "You as well." He eyed Vino. "Walk her to her car."
Jadyn blinked. "Oh, that won't be necessary."
Vino went forth and opened the front door. "I insist."
"Who said chivalry was dead?" Jadyn joked as she slid past Vino and walked out to the front step. She sized him up and appeared impressed as he joined her on the front step before shutting the door behind them.
Vino was quiet and only spoke when spoken to. He was a tall man, muscular like an athlete, with smooth olive skin and fine jet-black hair with the slightest curl. Vino was handsome, but like Cain, he had a coldness to him, a darkness to his coal-black eyes that just read killer.
What an appropriate person to hire as a bodyguard.
With Jadyn gone, and my mother and Irene helping my father back up to his room, I took Cain and brought him to my family's living room where we sat at the grand piano. We sat side by side on the cushioned bench, and for once, I didn't feel the need to scoot away.
"You said you just bought a piano," I brought up as I glanced Cain's way.
He nodded.
I gestured to my family's Steinway. "Play something."
Cain regarded the piano behind him and shook his head.
"No?" I questioned, partly bummed.
"I only play when I'm not in the best of moods," Cain explained.
I nudged him, almost smiling. "So, you're in a good mood?"
Cain peered into my eyes. "I'm moderate."
I couldn't help but chuckle. I'm moderate. Did he have to be so serious?
We were sitting so close, close enough to touch. So I did. I reached out, taking his hand into mine and entwining our fingers. I wondered if there was a part of Cain that had a heart.
"I wish we could be friends," I said.
Cain squeezed my hand in his. "Why can't we be both? Friends and lovers?" When I didn't answer, Cain let my hand go. "You hate me too much for that."
I didn't think I could ever love him, be attracted to him in that way, or want him. As I sat beside him, knowing he hadn't always been this way, but rather, was made, I realized that I couldn't hate him either.
Facing the piano, I went and pressed a cold key. A note sounded out. It was sad. Like the moment between us.