Author's Name:
Reviewer:
Review Type:
Cover/Blurb, Hook
Cover/Blurb Review:
Let's start with your cover! At first glance without taking a look at the blurb or the content, it is eye-catching. I think without first knowing what the story is about, the cover seems to match well with the title of the story. At first, for me, it was hard to tell that there's two people on the cover though. So, I do recommend that ifyou're able to edit the cover or get it edited, maybe make the two characters more noticeable. They're blending in too much with the dark background.
But your title is clear and easy to read which is good. Your name is just a little hard to read on the cover though. If possible, I'd also make that a little larger as well. Other than that, your cover is really well done and I like it.
For your blurb, I like that you start it off with the logline. It feels like a really good touch because it did captivate me and want to read the rest of your blurb. Though when I read the rest of your blurb, I feel like it lacks anything interesting that would really push a reader to read the first chapter.
Yes, we get an introduction of the main character, but where are the stakes? The blurb mentions he's faced with self-doubt and love all while racing against time, but what exactly does that mean? Readers absolutely do not need spoilers in the blurb, but it's always good to mention the stakes; what he has to lose, what may possibly happen, etc.
Maybe you can build on the sentences a little more below. Who does he meet? Perhaps it's friends that come along the way. Is it his heart he needs to protect? Why is that mentioned quit randomly?
With a heart to protect, promises to keep and undead beings crawling up, he is forced to make a race against time. As he digs deeper into the chaos, he finds himself knee-deep in self-doubt, and perhaps a little love.
At this point in time, I don't think your blurb is captivating enough to make me read the first page. It's very vague and I'm not getting a good sense of the stakes Cuthbert has to go through.
Hook Review:
Were your first two chapters hooking? Let's talk about it.
Already, I absolutely wanted to mention the fact that when I read the prologue, I got manhwa vibes. So, for me, that was already a green flag because I enjoy manhwas a lot and this put me in that mindset. Not only that, but I think you did well starting off with a prologue. At first I was weary to see what it would be, but I think you did well in setting the scene. That includes, characters and their ages, which you did by showing rather than telling. (through dialogue, so good job!) You also gave us an insight into the main character and his personality. Then we also got a sense into his home life and how he's created. So, I was very happy with the prologue overall.
Chapter one is naturally where the actual story starts. To me, I think you kept a very good pace after the six year shift from the prologue. Us readers can enjoy the chapter because we aren't bombarded by info dumps nor is it an overly long chapter that's mainly filler. Furthermore, I think the intro to the rising action was introduced well. By showing us Bert's excitement at possibly receiving a letter from Aryn, we see how close they are. Then it quickly changes the tone of the story as we find out she's missing. So, I absolutely think you did an amazing job at your hook. Throughout chapter one, I enjoyed each word written and I especially wanted to continue once we found out about the mind links and what it means when one is broken.
Chapter two is still a good follow up to the prologue and chapter one. I think we get a double feature for the hook because we then find out that Bert's uncle is sick. And it seems he doesn't have much time left. That means that Bert is finally about to become the next Marques.
Overall, these were very good first chapters which I found extremely captivating. So much so that I actually wanted to continue reading and I did add it to my library. What would I rate the hook? I'd give it a 10/10. I think you've done well in providing an enticing first set of chapters!