Vince presses the palm of his hand against the door he just closed seconds ago for a few seconds, before turning around slowly to face me.
Aaron was on his way out, but I can't imagine he enjoyed having the door slammed in his face.
"What was he doing here, at this time of the night?" Vince asks.
"What are you doing here?" i ask instead.
"Visiting..i would have come earlier, but Cynthia told me you and Tony were invited for dinner somewhere, so i waited for you to return" he says respectfully, handing me the flowers.
"What was he doing here?" he asks again, but i walk around him and try to open the door.
"Well, thank you for coming...and the flowers...but you should leave." I say.
The door opens slightly, before he slams it shut with his palm again.
"You haven't answered my question... Isn't that your father's associate, who is he to you?" He utters.
"It's none of your business Vince..now can you please just leave...I'm tired and i just want to go to sleep." I say.
"Or now you want to sleep? You had no problem having him around? are you sleeping with him, is that why he was here so late..did you sleep with him?" He asks, looking at me up and down with a look of disgust.
"Vince..."
"Just tell me." He says quietly.
"Tell me!" he repeats, but this time, much more louder, the veins on his temple and neck showing.
I exhale through my mouth.
"Are you fucking him, is that why you are acting so smug lately? Huh?" He asks, standing right in my face.
"I'm am not doing this with you again." I shake my head, then turn to twist the door handle, but his palm is back on the door, preventing it from even opening slightly, as he speaks over my shoulder.
"I've been doing everything you wanted, You wanted me to see a therapists, i'm seeing one, you wanted me to give you space, i gave you space....Rocky baby, what more do you want from me..i'm doing exactly what you asked me to do?" he mutters.
"Please i just need you to stop, you can do whatever you want with your life, i just don't want to be in it any more." I say and he steps away.
"I know you still love me, you care for me.." he insists.
"Let me just try.." he adds, coming back towards me until i'm pressed up against the wall again, this time, facing him.
"Raquel." He whispers, trying to kiss me, but stops when i keep twisting my face to avoid it.
"The more you keep doing this, the more you are making me hate you, pretty soon, i will feel nothing but only hate towards you..." I whisper, my lips trembling.
"Is it because of him? It's Angela, isn't it? she hates me and you have been allowing her to get into your head." he mutters lowly, but i know he is angry.
"Raquel? you and him...are you together?"
"Yes." i murmur, hoping that maybe once he realises i have moved on, he finally will too.
He steps away from me and walks around the room, scratching his hair.
"I bet Tony will like that, don't you think?...." he chuckles dryly.
"You should hear him talk about the Bishops.....and to have one of them, an expert in the field he wants to venture in, dating his daughter, hell, not even Jeff can compete with that." He says.
"Cue the new favorite 'Son in-law." He says sarcastically.
"So where the fuck does that leave me?" he suddenly shouts, punching his hand into the wall right beside me and i whimper in shock.
Vincent's temper rises fast, after which he easily loses control of his actions, that's what scares me.
At this point, i'm better off getting him to leave, than having a back and forth argument with him...it often ends badly for me.
It's been almost two years now.
Two years of peace and quiet, and not being afraid of him acting out on me.
Two years of not picking my words carefully so that i don't set him off.
And now this, the memory of what could happen in the next few minutes, what i have experienced with him in the past makes me feel angry and bitter with him and mostly with my self.
I thought i broke the cycle.
I'm so embarrassed that i have experienced this, and even more so that i stayed so long.
Early in our relationship, i used to argue with him, word for word, and he would trash the items in the house and slam things against the wall, it never scared me, that's just how we fought... that's just how we were as a couple, we argued often and made up even faster.
He has always had a short fiery temper, and i have always been head strong and stubborn...so i understood that sometimes i wasn't the easiest person to deal with.
Then over time, he would grab me and push me around when we argued, or throw clothes at me. This time, it started to scare me a little, but i didn't make much of it..until one time, he pushed me so hard that i feel over a table. I landed with a vase on the floor, it broke and cut through my side.
I needed stitches to fix it and i have a scar to remember it by....He was apologetic, extremely and then he was off to the Military base for an assignment.
I told Angela about that and she was furious.
Vince and i didn't see each other for weeks, months even, but we started to communicate again, and when he returned, we got back together again.
I guess, his past, him losing his family and everything he has to endure in the military has affected his mental healthy...He has nightmares, and post traumatic stress such that, every time he screwed up, i justified it and forgave him.
But his actions only got worse.
It makes me feel embarrassed to think about it.
Now, i watch his hand leave the wall he just punched, a trace of red left behind where his knuckles have bruised against.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry...i didn't mean to scare you." he says, keeping some distance between us, his hurt hand shaking.
"Ok?" he asks and i nod, still frozen to the wall.
"I just...i want this to work again..Raquel, you are the only one i have ever loved, you are my whole life, the only good thing in my life...i would rather die than live without you...is that what you want?" he asks.
"The thought of you with someone else, it kills me, i can't bare it..." he murmurs.
"You promised to be mine forever, remember that?"
"Tell me you will give us another chance.. I don't want to lose you, your family, you guys are all i have. I know i've made mistakes, but i'm trying, i'm trying for you...if you leave me, i will have nothing...maybe i should have died instead of my brother and father." He continues.
"Raquel?"
"Leave....." i murmur quietly.
He stares, then nods, turns around and walks out of the door.
I move forward and lock the door, then press my forehead against it.
***
I walk down the stairs of Raquel's building and slowly make my way back to my car.
I enter the vehicle and press my head against the head rest and close my eyes.
I open them later to check the time.
10:28pm.
I should have been in bed by now, i think, rolling my shoulders and twisting my cramped neck.
Perhaps i linger too long in the car park here, perhaps it's just a few minutes, but when i look up, i see Vincent walk across the carpark.
Well that was quick.
He enters a grey jeep and hits his palms against the steering wheel several times while i watch incognito.
Unconciously, i look towards Raquel's building and wonder what happened.
Is she ok?
Then just as quickly, the head lights go on, as he starts the car, and then drives off, oblivious to me still being here.
I look up at the building again, wondering what to go.
I take my phone and type her a message.
Hey, you ok?
I don't know what i expect, maybe an invitation to return, a call for my company.. I don't know.
After a few minutes, i get my reply.
Yes, thank you.
Going to bed now.
Goodnight Aaron.
It reads.
I swipe my thumb over the screen, feeling a sudden need to see her, to hold her.
Goodnight Raquel.
Sleep tight.
I reply, deciding to give her space.
I drive off, feeling a lot better, knowing that i didn't leave him in there with her.
*
"Is that your second one? what's going on?" Marco asks, watching me take out my second cigarette from my pocket.
"Does this have anything to do with one brown eyed dirty blonde?" He wiggles his brows.
"She's stressing you out already?" he asks his third question in a row and i smile and put out the cigarette, finding that it's not relaxing me at all.
I sigh and face him.
"There is someone else in her life" i say.
"Oh! Is it serious?"
"I don't know." I shrug, keeping my eyes on him, even though my mind is elsewhere.
It's been two days, since i last saw or heard from Raquel and the more time passes, the more anxious i have become to see her again.
I don't remember the last time i wanted something this much.
Marco and i have just finished an early morning meeting.
He is returning to the office, and i am heading to another meeting before going back to the office.
"I'll see you later." I mutter, when my car arrives.
I arrive early and start going over the paper work to kill time.
" Sorry i'm late." Jeff murmurs, as he sits down.
I briefly look up at him, and shift the papers towards him.
"How's the family?" i ask, sitting back in my seat as i allow him time to go over what i already went through the past twenty minutes that i had been waiting for him.
"What?" he asks, looking up from the table to briefly glance at me.
"The family, Angela, Mason?" I ask.
" Oh, good, great." He says and looks down again.
I look around me, call the waiter over to our table and order another round of coffees.
"Can i ask you something." I ask suddenly.
"You have never asked permission before, what's up Bishop?"he says without looking up.
" It's a personal question." Isay, and he looks up curiously.
"How well do you know your sister in law, Raquel." i say, weighing his reaction, before I continue.
He eyes widen briefly.
"Raquel? Why?" He asks.
"What about Raquel?' he asks again, sitting back too.
"You like her?" he asks and laughs.
"It depends, she's seeing someone right?" I mumble casually.
"Oh wow....No...Not that i know of." he says.
"What about that guy, Vincent?"
"Vincent? Psssh, that ship sailed a long time ago, actually, it sank...they've been broken up for a while now." He says
"Are you sure? that's not what i heard, Tony seems pretty fond of their relationship?"
"Look, after everything he has put her through, i doubt she would take him back this time...." he says.
"What did he put her through?" i ask curiously.
"Just some shit that i would rather not talk about....besides, Tony doesn't know shit, if he did, he wouldn't be rooting for them either." he says.
"As far as i know, Raquel hasn't been seeing anyone seriously since Vincent..if you like her..go for it." he says, surprisely.
"Really?"
"Do you remember when you showed up at that Mango TAN fundraiser alone and i told you i was going to set you up with some, you know, like a blind date?" he asks.
"Yeah?" I say thoughtfully, that was months ago.
"Fun fact? it was Raquel i had in mind." he says.
"You're kidding."
"I swear to god...i even talked to Angela about it, big mistake, because she talked me out of it, no surprise there...she is very protective of her sisters." he laughs.
"What does Angela have against me?" i ask in amusement.
"Nothing personal, she just doesn't like the 'Macho, domineering, high-handed , bossy type', no offence" He says, using air quotes.
"Some of that is not true, but none taken." I laugh.
"So Raquel is single?" i clarify.
"As far as i know..yep."
"Huh" i mumble thoughtfully.
This whole time.
I can't believe she didn't tell me that.
I have been racking my brain, thinking about the other guy, when all along there was none.
So what was he doing at her apartment the other night then?
And why hasn't she called me?
"Listen, i have to rush somewhere." i say, standing up.
"Right now?"
"Yeah, Ashton will get in touch with you once you are done with that" i say, as i walk out of the door.
*
I arrive at the hospital a few minutes later.
Since Raquel is not picking up her phone, i assume she is busy, but i need to see her right now.
Walking into the hospital, i imagine, this must be a little like how she felt when she came to my office to see me.
"Excuse me." someone says and i turn to face a raven haired female in scrubs.
"Hi." I say, noticing she looks familiar.
"Hi, i suppose you don't remember me, but we've met...i'm Dawn." She says.
I try to tie her name or face to a particular time and place, but come up with nothing.
"I'm Raquel's friend, we met in..." She says when she notices my hesitation.
"Porto..yeah, i remember now." I smile.
"Yeah?" she smiles, one hand on her hip.
"I'm actually here to see Raquel and don't know where to start." i admit.
"Oh, lucky day." She utters referring to me finding her.
"You have no idea.' i chuckle.
"Does she know you are here?" she asks.
"No actually."
"Oh, surprise visit, how romantic." she utters and i smile.
"Can you take me to her." I say when she lingers.
"Oh, sorry, sure...but, you can't exactly go to where she is, but i can bring her to you..come with me." she says.
We go up two floors using the stairs.
"Wait here." she says, before disappearing into a different room.
I stand there for a few minutes, watching a few people come and go, until Raquel walks out of the same door her friend walked in, she looks to the left of the corridor, then turns to my direction and comes towards me.
"Hey."
"Hai..what's going on? Is everything ok?" she asks, looking at me up and down.
"Yeah.....everything is fine." I say.
"Dawn said it was an emergency." she utters.
I like her friend.
"Everything is fine..." i say again, touching the side of her face.
"Oh, ok..hai." she says, looking around us consciously.
"Hai."
"What are you doing here?" She asks, wrapping her fingers around my wrist and removing my hand from her face, but she doesn't let go of it.
"You haven't called me back."
"I...I have been busy." she says
"It's been two days, I got impatient." i say and she purses her lips and smiles.
"Unless you tell me you have been working here for two days straight, you literally have no excuse for blowing me off like this."
She looks behind her.
"I didn't..and this is really a bad time for this"
"I know, i have somewhere else to be as well, but here i am." i say.
" Here you are."
"One question?"i say.
"Ask." she responds, after looking behind her again.
"Are you available?" I ask and she looks confused.
"It's a yes or no question, nothing to think about." i mutter when she looks thoughtful.
"Available for what?" she asks.
"Don't play dumb with me Raquel...not after you lied to me."
"About what?"
"About Vincent, he is your Ex."
She sighs, not denying it.
"I didn't say anything."
"Exactly..you let me believe a lie."
"That was all on you. You made the assumption and didn't give me a chance to explain." she says, folding her hands over her chest.
"Fine...but we need to talk, seriously....no more games, no more baby steps." i mutter.
"What time do you get off work, I'll pick you up" i say.
"No." she mumbles.
"No?"
"I mean, if we are going to talk, then at lunch...i have an hour...." she says.
"An hour? that's not nearly enough...I want to see you after work."
"No, i'm not meeting alone you with after work." she says again.
"Why?"
"Because, I think if we are going to have a serious conversation, we should do it during daytime, with people around us."
"Why."
"So we don't get distracted." she mutters.
Is it that she doesn't trust me to behave when alone with her, or she doesn't trust herself to resist when we are alone. The blush on her face tells me that the later is true, and a smirk forms on my face.
"No." I say.
I do want to be alone with her, for exactly those reasons.
"Fine. I have to go. Bye." she says, spinning around.
"Raquel!" I mutter, grabbing her wrist.
"Ok, fine." I yield.
"Ok. I will send you an address, and we can meet tommor....." she starts to say.
"No. Today, and I decide where....Max will be waiting for you in the car park at lunch when you are ready...."
"Don't be late." i say against her cheek, then turn and walk away.
*
I watch Aaron walk down the hall and disappear at a corner.
I touch my cheek and feel that 5f my face is warm.
I spin around and start walking back to my job.
I briefly look at my watch and see that I don't have much time before i see him again.
*
I walk into the restaurant Aaron chose feeling a little under dressed in my black short sleeved cotton top, tucked into my grey wrap shirt and sneakers, and a blue chiffon scarf around my neck.
Max walks me across a few tables and i see Aaron sitting at a table near the edge of the roof top restaurant set up...it also has a garden.
He stands up when he sees me, dressed as he was before, in a grey suit and blue shirt.
He kisses my cheek and helps me sit down, before coming to sit opposite me.
"Sangria?" he asks, pushing a glass towards me.
"I can't, I'm working." i say and he nods and pushes the other drink towards me.
A waiter arrives and places a few dishes before us.
"What's that?" I ask, looking at the food.
"You would know, i ordered a vegetarian meal for both of us." He says and i smile at his consideration, or is it sacrifice.
"Thank you." i say.
"You're incredibly polite." he notes.
"I like to be."
"Really? so why did you lie to me?" he gets straight to the point. I suppose we don't have a lot of time.
"I didn't lie...."
"You didn't contradict me either."
"I wanted to, i was going to, but then you started to talk about how you were not looking for a commitment and that other stuff and i thought, what's the point." I shrug.
"I was being honest with you." he says, leaning towards me.
"Yeah, and I appreciate that...but it doesn't change how what you said made me feel."
"My choices that night was based on the information i had at the time, the incorrect information...if you had told me the truth, it would have changed somethings."
"Anyway, that's water under a bridge now....what do you want now Raquel?"
"You say my name an awful lot." i say.
"I like how it sounds on my lips." he admits and i smile.
"Come and sit closer." He suggests.
"No" i say and he frowns.
"That's a lot of Nos for one day."
"Maybe you are asking the wrong questions." I say, starting to feel relaxed and at ease with him again.
"Let's just, stay like this ok...so we can talk properly." I say about our sitting arrangement... I know for a fact being too close to him will affect my concentration.
"You still haven't told me what you want." he says.
"Look, i just...i didn't think i'll ever see you again, but then i did... i guess i just want to get to know you, to spend more time with you." I confess, the beat of my heart a loud thump in my ears.
Aaron looks at me intently, his eyes reading me and it only makes me feel even more nervous.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to get to know me?" He asks.
Is he being serious?
Is this how people start going out?
They undergo some kind of interview or test?
" You are making me very nervous." I admit and he shifts in his seat, his face relaxing.
" I'm sorry, i just want to understand you...so that we are..on the same page as you put it." He says more softly, his index finger rubbing the space just below his bottom lip.
"...I want to get to know you better because i like you." I say, biting the inside of my cheek and he smiles, as if he was messing with me.
I look around us, to see if anyone is listening or paying attention to us.
Then I feel his hand grab mine across the table and i look back at him.
"Thank you for being honest with me Raquel." he says hoarsely.
"I want to spend more time with you too." He says.
"Why?" I ask and he smirks.
"Because you are interesting, you're sweet and kind, I can't stop thinking about you and mostly because I'm incredibly attracted to you...." He says.
"And yes, I like you, alot." He adds.
"Come sit here." He says again, pulling my hand towards him.
I look around us at the busy eatery. People will stare.
"No." I murmur softly.
"Raquel."
"Just like this, please... I don't want to be too close to you right now." I say and he sighs in resignation.
"I want to get to know you too...but I have certain boundaries...." He says.
"Yeah, you made that very clear the other night." i respond.
"It's not just that...Look, right now, i'm not looking to fall in love or get married" he says, watching my face.
"Why?" I ask.
He lets go of my hand and sits back in his chair and then scratches his beard lightly.
"Because it's what i want for myself right now......... I was married before, and it's not something I'm particularly inclined to again......and i want you to understand upfront that that is not on the table." he says and even though it's not what i had in mind for my immediate future, it saddens me to hear him say that.
"Why? I mean, not that i'm expecting that from you...but why do you feel like that? was your first marriage really that bad?" I ask.
He shrugs.
"It's just how i feel..what I want...i tried it before and it's not something i want to do again" he says.
"And what's so bad about falling in love? What's the point of dating, if you can't fall in love." I ask.
"Love makes you do dumb shit, make rush or bad decisions, set yourself up for heart break.....it's not altogether bad...and maybe someday in the future I will want that again..but not right now..." He says.
"I see."
"And it's because of your ex-wife...." I push and he frowns.
"That's a red line, That's not a topic of discussion at any point." He says quickly, cutting me off.
"Then how are we supposed to get to know each other if there are so many rules and boundaries." I mutter.
"I think it makes things simple actually, easy..that topic is off the table...I will equally respect what ever boundaries you set, just tell me." he says, leaning towards me again.
"Then what's on the table?" I ask.
"Anything else you want from me. We will date, I will give you my attention, my time, and care for you as long as we are together....and fulfil your needs, all your needs......just don't expect me to fall in love..." he says, squeezing my hand.
"We will just be two adults, enjoying each other's company for as long as it's beneficial for both of us...If at any point you want to stop and walk away..I will respect that and let you, and the same goes for me" he says.
"No." I hear myself saying.
He is taken aback, his eyes widening temporarily, not having expected me to say that.
"Raquel?" He almost whispers.
I like you, very much..and granted, I think about you alot, all the time, sometimes when I'm doing the most serious things at work, you are on my mind, all the time.... I think about us talking, or kissing and other more intimate things, and it drives me crazy, because, you are there, but not there at the same time.
And it scares me, because, i can see how easily i can fall for you and the idea of you not being able to feel the same terrifies me.
"Raquel?" Aaron says again, and it snaps me out of my thoughts, and I sigh.
"No" i repeat and he sits back.
"You know, there is this guy..Rafeal...he has been asking me out for weeks, and i have been saying no...maybe i will go out with him...atleast he has no commitment issues and will take me more seriously." I say, bluffing, and he looks at me fiercely, then stands up and comes to occupy the seat next to me.
"You drive a hard bargain doc."
"What you are saying, I don't know what that looks or feels like in reality, but it sounds so impersonal and lackluster ...I want to feel valued, not like a business deal with terms and conditions...I refuse to be handled that way." I say to him.
"Raquel." he says it like I'm exasperating him.
"I want to be treated to like a person with feelings, because I have them, like a woman, a woman you like and not a business deal with a shelf life. I'm not asking you have to lie to me, because I really do appreciate your honesty..but I want to feel...."
"Cherished? Wanted? Desired? Craved? because you are, believe me, i would know, and the number of cold showers I have had to randomly taken at night at the thought of your half naked body are still engraved in my brain from that night in my hotel room before you passed out is evidence of my attraction to you."
"You see? That's what i mean...I want to be more than just a body for you to fantasize about."
"You are."
"Then treat me like I am...How can you be talking about the end before it even starts." I say and he sighs.
"Romance, courtship, dating, whispers and promises of sweet nothings about forever in your ear......is that what you want from me Raquel?" he asks pointedly.
I hold back a laugh at the last description.
I'm not young anymore..I don't have time to just sleep around..I want a meaningful relationship..a partner...But I don't put it that way.
"Something like that." I answer instead, and he smiles.
"Raquel, you are unleashing a fiend that has laid dormant inside of me for a very long time...I'm not sure you really want to do that, nor are you ready for it." he says.
"I'll take my chances." I say with conviction, holding his gaze.
His eyes drop to my lips, and I withhold the urge to lick them, but fail and end up doing it anyway.
"Alright." he says, sniffing and sitting back.
"As you wish......but one redline stays......my past is not up for discussion. We will do it your way, just don't expect me to fall in love when you do." he says confidently.
"That's two things." I remark, and he smirks.
"I need to go to the bathroom." i say, and he points me in the direction of the restroom, his fingers, running through the material of my scarf.
"Maybe you are the one that will fall in love with me..."i say and he smiles, a little at first, then more widely as he continues to look at me.
"You are a real piece of work.....and you are determined to drive me to the wall." He says.
"Ditto" i utter, sharing his smile.
Using the scarf, he pulls me towards him and holds the back of my neck with his hand gently.
Then takes my bottom lip between his.
For the next few seconds, our lips and tongues reacquaint themselves, my fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck, until he pulls away slowly.
When I was coming here, I decided there won't be any kissing..especially that we are meeting at a public place.
That took me off-guard, but I responded easily and eagerly.
I blush, and feel lightheaded, but I really have to go to the bathroom, and maybe a few seconds away from him will help me to wrap my head around what we have discussed.
"Don't worry." I say, getting up off the chair and walking around him on my way out, my scarf, running through his fingers lightly, until it slips out.
He tilts his head back over the back of his chair in a lazy laid-back way, his thumb and fingers now holding his chin, as he watches me leave, still with a small smile on his face.
"I won't break your heart." I turn and say lightly, jokingly, just to tease him.
His smile fades.
You won't...because you can't break what's already broken." he says more seriously.
I turn, because i have to keep walking.
In the restroom, i look at my face in the mirror and take a deep breath and exhale.
I don't know what i'm doing, i think.
I'm scared and excited all at once.
*
I return a few minutes later and realise i can't stay long, i have to get back to the hospital soon.
Aaron is on his phone when i reach him and he hangs up and puts it in his pocket.
"I have to go." he says apologetically.
"Me too actually." i say, then we both stare at the table.
Unlike the drinks, the food is untouched.
"You see, this would have worked much better after work." he says.
"I get off work really late today." i say in defense, as we start to leave.
"By the way, what was Vincent doing at your apartment the other night?" he asks, when we reach outside.
I smile when i respond.
"That's my redline..i don't want to talk about it." i say and he stops and frowns.
"See, doesn't feel so good does it?" I murmur.
"He wanted to get back together." i say.
"And?"
"Obviously, it did not happen." I say.
"Good, because you are with me now...and I don't share." he says.
"Where is your car?" he asks, and i point to it.
He walks me there.
"Will i see you later?" He asks.
"It will be very late when i get off." i say.
"Ok, you can pass through my office anytime." he offers.
"Even without an appointment?"
"It didn't stop you last time." he says and i smile.
"Well, bye." i say, when both of us seem reluctant to leave the other.
His arm wraps around my waist and pulls me hard against his body, his other hand rests at the back of my neck, as he presses his lips soft and gentle against mine.
He bites my lips softly, before feeding me his warm, moist tongue.
I whimper involuntarily, as i feel a warm sizzling sensation run throughout my body.
His grip on my body is unrelenting, just like his assault on my mouth.
When he finally pulls away, my head is pressed against the side of the car, my eyes closed and my mouth partly open...his thumb rubbing back and forth on my neck.
"I think this will definitely work.."he says.
I open my eyes and look through his own.
Then he pulls my door open and steps back.
"Later, Raquel....next time, we do dinner." he says, before Max deliberately comes into view and Aaron nods at him in acknowledgement.
"I'll call you later.....Go, unless you want us to continue kissing right here on the sidewalk" he says.
I smile and get in the car, my scarf remains in his hand as i sit down, then i flash him one last look, before driving off.
A/N...hope you guys are great....going back to sleep now...will do another edit on this later in the day...but I didn't want to keep you waiting too long.
Cheers