Vaguely, I was aware that I no longer stood in the restaurant peering at my bloody hands which were only a figment of my imagination at that point and that Sam stood in front of me his hands on my shoulders.
"Breathe, Avian." I heard him say. I'm trying. But it was hard to do so when what I'd been telling myself for the past two weeks was only a nightmare after waking up in bed, not a sign of the previous night anywhere. I hadn't slept soundly since, each time fearing I'd step out of the shower and find a dying man at my doorstep.
"Sit her down." Someone else commanded. I thought it was Audrey, but couldn't be sure that the voice was female. I felt my legs working in accordance to the hands on my shoulders as they steered me toward what I presumed was a chair.
"Avian, can you tell me what happened?" Sam spoke again, his voice sounding as if coming from a tunnel.
What happened? What happened was I saw a dying man walking around in perfect health and all this time I thought I had hallucinated after a long work day. But, I couldn't tell Sam that. If he didn't think me weird and pitied me then, I was sure that statement would make him think otherwise.
I knew by the constant string of voices surrounding me that I needed to say something. I just wasn't sure what would come out of my mouth when I forced my throat to clear as I peeked up from beneath my lashes.
"I... thought I saw..." What could I say? That I thought I saw someone? But then I'd be asked who and I wasn't sure I could answer the subsequent questions without being dubbed insane.
"You thought you saw..." Audrey trailed, gasping as she paused in front of me. "It was an ex wasn't it? I've noticed you moping and sulking for the past two weeks and I figured you'd gone through a break up. God, if seeing him did this to you then I don't want to know what your relationship was like."
A wave of relief washed over me. Audrey had came up with the perfect out for me. I nodded slowly, not willing to correct one iota of her assumption.
"Is this true?" Sam's voice softened, he knelt before me, his hands sliding off my shoulders. I only noticed fully then that he'd been touching me and I had let him. I shiver involuntarily.
"He... he was... so bloody," My words slipped and I flinched. "Cruel." I add quickly being the only word I could think of that would flow well with the previous. Sam's light brown eyes darkened with intensity.
"Don't be afraid, Avian. If you see him again, I want you to tell me. I won't let him hurt you, okay?"
"O-kay." I closed my eyes hurriedly to keep his searching ones from seeing the truth.
A tap-tap-tap sounds from the distance. Opening my eyes I found Harry Weiss hobbling with the aid of his cane from the elevator.
"What's going on here?" Harry groused, tapping his can against Sam's wingtip.
Sam stood slowly, clearing his throat as if something had prevented him from speaking clearly to begin with. "Avian, was frightened during lunch. But, she's fine now." Sam told his father. I didn't chance the older Weiss' gaze. He'd know I was lying. I gathered over the months that he was a very perceptive man.
"Avian, honey, are you truly alright?" Harry asked quietly, his cane coming into view before his shining loafers did.
"Yeah. I'm okay now. Just a little overwhelmed."
"Your voice is strained." He acknowledged. "I don't think you are okay. Would you like to relax here for a minute longer without the rest of the office bearing down your neck or would you rather go home?"
God. There were plenty of people in the lobby. I hadn't noticed but a few until he spoke about the crowd I'd drawn.
"Home."
The one syllabic word is out before I can think, but I wouldn't apologize. I'd be better off at home where I could shove the past hour behind me.
"Samuel, you'll drive Avian to her apartment."
I don't protest the arrangement made knowing an argument no matter the size will always be lost against Harry Weiss.
~*~
Harry had insisted upon dropping me at my apartment that I take another day off to recoup and I was doing just that. I'd cleaned every inch of my apartment and was dead on my feet by two and starving. I hadn't eaten breakfast and my body was letting me know that I missed lunch too.
Knowing that I couldn't do much else to get the mysterious man out of my head I resigned to showering and headed to the grocery store; a different kind of retail therapy and better than spending money on clothes I'd probably wear once or not at all. I've never been big on shopping unless of course it was for a book I'd been dying to read.
I stopped at a little Italian bistro for a late lunch before heading to the store on an empty stomach. That was never a good idea. I'd most likely grab things at random, tossing them into my cart and later regretting it when I would realize I didn't need the item.
A small woman with golden blonde hair waited at the counter to take my order. After placing it, I found my way to the patio where many patrons decided to enjoy their meals in the sunshine. The day was adding up to be the warmest day on record at a whopping sixty-eight degrees.
I divested myself of my cardigan once seated at a small table in the corner and draped it over the back of my chair. I had an unobscured view of the counter and would know when my order was ready which didn't take long at all for when I'd comfortably seated myself the young woman at the register was pointing my way as she spoke to a dark haired young man who'd come out of the kitchen. He nodded, smiled and proceeded forward in my direction.
When the man came to my table he smiled fully, warmly. "Here you go ma'am. Can I get you anything else?"
"No, thank you."
"Enjoy your day." He said cheerily, nodding a final time before turning away.
"You, too." I called out, catching a smile from him before he disappeared inside the bistro.
I took time in consuming my panini as the nice day called for it.
When I'm prepared to leave when I realized I'd forgotten my cardigan. Turning back I'm upset to find that it no longer hangs over the back of the chair I'd recently vacated. I spy the waiter who'd brought my meal clearing the table and go to him. When he denies having seen the cardigan, I can only sigh and ask that if it's found to hold it for me.
"I'll do that ma'am. But I don't recall there being a sweater on the back of your chair when I brought your meal, but" he frowns, then adds, "I didn't quite pay attention, sorry."
I offer a smile for his frown. "That's okay. I'm sure you were just in a rush to tend to other customers. But thanks. I'll check back later."
Soft brown eyes regard me with sympathy as he looks down on me. "I hope you find it."
I shrugged giving him a wave as I departed the bistro. I wasn't too worried about the cardigan. There were others in my closet. But I was worried about what had happened to it. it couldn't have walked off on its own. Maybe it had fallen off and was carried off into the street by the light breeze or someone could have swiped it. If the latter was the case, she/he was possibly more in need of it than I.
I made a stop at the bakery for fresh bread and rolls, then filled my cart to the brim at the grocery store. I hadn't planned meals and tossed in whatever I thought I could whip up for a single person.
Sometimes I wondered what I was doing eating alone all the time, then I remember just why I'm alone and I stop my wondering.
My phone blares with an incoming call and I retrieve it just as I'm putting the last of the groceries in my trunk.
"Hello?"
"Ava? Is that you? What's wrong?" I frown at the phone as I pull it from my ear, then return it so I can answer the frantic voice of my aunt.
"I'm fine, Aunt June. Just doing some shopping." I manage the phone between my jaw and shoulder as I slide into the car.
"Why aren't you at work? I just called the office and Mr. Weiss said you were out sick. You aren't getting the flu are you? You know you should have scheduled that flu shot like I told you months ago."
I sigh into the phone, rolling my eyes. Aunt June has always worried herself to death over me. but I can't say that I don't love every ounce of care she has for me. I was her last living relative and she was mine. it was just the two of us for the last five years.
"I didn't get the shot, but I'm not coming down with the flu, Aunt June. I... had a little panic attack at work. It was nothing."
"Oh, dear." She says on a gasp. "You shouldn't work so hard. It's stress. You haven't had a panic attack in years."
I start the engine and reverse from my parking space, putting Aunt June on speaker and rest the phone in the cup holder so that I may drive with less distraction and both hands on the wheel.
"I know. That's why I went home early yesterday and Harry insisted I take today off too. I'm fine now though."
"Well, you should come down to the beach house this weekend and relieve some more of that stress." She tells me sternly. I smile.
"I should." I respond still smiling as I maneuver into the light traffic. "But I have an article due Monday and being off work today is going to set me back if I don't try to get it done on time. But," I insert before she can complain, "I'll visit Sunday."
"Oh, good. That's very good." I don't mistake the slyness in her voice and I wonder with a smile what she has planned.
"So what are your plans for Sunday. First church, then..."
"Well, I'm having a few of the sisters and their families over for dinner."
Bingo. I knew something was being planned. "And how many are there going to be?"
"Oh, Six or so. Not counting the kids."
Six or so would in actuality be upwards at twelve. And the kids... well, if I was correct there'd be at least five of them; all under the age of seven. I didn't mind in the least, because most of those people I'd known most of my life. They were Aunt June's family without being bound by blood.
"Alright. I guess I could come early and get a start on Sunday dinner while you go to worship."
"Oh, yes that would be lovely." She says, breathing a sigh of relief as she most likely thought I'd say no.
I park in the small lot next to my complex and shut off the engine, grabbing the phone up to hold closer to my mouth as I give my farewell.
"Okay," Aunt June said, a happy note in her tone. "I'll see you around noon Sunday, then?"
"Yes. Love you, Aunt June."
"Love you, dear."
Ending the call, I shove the phone inside my purse, hefted it on my shoulder and released the trunk latch to cart my groceries up to the apartment. I grind my teeth regretting the back and forth walk to and from my car with a load full of grocery.
"Need some help?"