Tim POV: Gracie is six months old today, marking half a year since the scariest day of my life. They really didn't think she'd make it...
Faith is about a month pregnant right now. We were discussing whether or not to wait a little while for another, but she decided to stop taking her pill, and let "divine intervention" occur.
Today we are driving down to my mother's in Louisiana. We weren't even going to entertain the thought of trying to put Gracie on an airplane, so we are driving eight hours. We are on hour number four right now, on the state line of Mississippi and Alabama. I feel Faith grow a bit more tense as we pass the signs for Jackson.
I grab onto her hand, and look into the rearview at Gracie in her carseat. She's smiling and looking out the window. I smile, and peel my eyes away from the mirror. Faith's hand suddenly releases as I hear the crunch of metal in front of me.
The evening sunset blinds me, causing me to not have enough time to stop. Our car smashes into another wreck between a semi and sedan, which makes it like hitting a brick. I don't even have time to reach in front of Faith before we slam into them.
Everything goes black for a few moments, until my eyes begin to slowly flutter open. My sight is blurry, while the air is filled with dust. I look in front of me to see the back of the car ahead of us is on top of the hood.
I look over to Faith to see her covered in blood. It starts to become harder to breathe, as I see more of her injuries. I try to look back at Gracie, but I can't turn that far. I keep pushing myself to turn all the way around, but it's like my legs won't move, and are anchoring me down.
"Ba — baby?" I try to spit out. Faith turns toward me, and looks down before screaming. The sound of her screams are making my head sting. Does she not remember me? Did she hit her head again? Faith unbuckles herself, and immediately goes to start helping me.
"Just hold on honey..." She says, tears falling from her eyes.
"Gr—" I try to spit out. She thinks I'm just groaning as she goes toward my legs. I follow her, and see what she's screaming about.
The car ahead of us isn't on top of the hood... The hood is now shoved into the car, and my legs are crumpled into the ball of metal. My chest is jammed against the steering wheel, while the cars begin to shift. I feel the car in front of us move as the people inside begin to move. There's a lot of blood...
"Gracie." I finally scream out. Faith puts her hand on my jaw.
"Gracie's fine, baby. She's just fine." She says. At that moment, I hear Gracie whine from the backseat. I wish I could see for myself... "Okay, Tim. Hold onto my hand." Faith says. I do exactly as she says, as I feel the most horrible pain...
Faith moves back my seat, dislocating my hips, but also relieving the pain on my chest. I can finally breathe a little better, but I wouldn't rule out a broken rib.
"You okay?" Faith says, wiping tears out of her eyes with her forearm. I nod quickly, trying to forget the pain in my legs. "You're going to be alright..." She assures me. Gracie begins to shriek from the back seat, throwing Faith off. Faith looks at me, before going back to get Gracie. She holds her in front of me for a moment, letting me see her. A wave of relief begins to hit, as I hear the sound of horns behind us.
Another impact hits us, as a car slams into the back. I watch as Faith's head slams against the dash, with Gracie in her arms. My head hits the steering wheel as I hear a loud crack. I feel numb all over, as I try to reach Faith. I can't move.
"Faith?" I cry out. She isn't moving. "Faith!" I scream louder. "Goddamnit, wake up, baby..." No reaction. I see Gracie squirm a little, taking my breath away. I begin to pray that no other cars hit, knowing Gracie is in a horrible position. Her head is about an inch from the dash.
Faith is slumped over, her head resting on the dash, while her arms are still fairly secure around Gracie. I shut my eyes for a second and try to breathe, but it's hard. My lungs feel deflated.
I open my eyes to see blood from Faith's head dripping down the dash, and onto Gracie's onesie... I feel a scream emerging from my lips, but nothing comes out. I want to reach over and hold onto them, but I can't move... I can't feel anything...
Faith suddenly gasps, and sits back against the seat, holding Gracie close to her. Faith waits a moment to look over, practically panting. When she does, she has the look of horror in her eyes. She backs herself against her door, and holds Gracie against her chest, covering her eyes slightly. Faith stares for a moment, tears falling from her eyes. I want to wipe them away so badly...
"Oh... Oh my god..." She says, her other hand covering her mouth. I see the cut up by her hairline that is bleeding. I want to scream to her, but nothing is coming out...
I hear a groan come from me, hitting Faith like a bullet.
"Jesus christ." She screams, looking away. She trembles, as her shaking hands hold on tightly to Gracie. The passanger side mirror is bent back toward me. I see my reflection, and begin to understand Faith's reaction.
My head is bleeding onto the steering wheel while my mouth gapes open. I'm not blinking, and it's hard to tell if I'm breathing by the way I'm slumped over. The blood on my legs has now covered all parts of my leg. I watch as blood begins to come out of my mouth, praying I could make it stop... I know I'm scaring her so badly right now...
Faith decides to look up at that moment, and becomes pale as she watches it happen. I look into her eyes, and then down at Gracie, knowing this doesn't look good for me. She sees my eye movement.
"Help!" Faith begins to shriek. She kicks her door open, and goes out to get help with Gracie still in her arms. I hear more horns, causing me to grow tense. I watch tears fall from my eyes in the mirror, when someone comes up to my door and opens it. I feel them freeze as they look at me.
A team of EMT's attempts to untangle my legs from the metal, even though I know what the eventual turn out has to be. There's no way they can salvage me...
I listen as an EMT tries to convince Faith to go to the hospital. Apparently her head injury is more severe than I thought. She declines, saying that she's going to wait for me.
"Careful! His spine is already damaged." The words cut like a knife as I feel something tear. Faith lets out a small chirp, before she muffles it. I feel myself become faint, as the EMT's try to cover the wound.
Suddenly, I feel myself fall completely limp. I fall out of the open car door, and onto the hard pavement, my legs hanging me from the car. My hips are painfully on the edge of the car, while my head takes most of the blow.
I see Faith over me, crying while covering her mouth with her hand.
"Just cut 'em." An EMT finally decides. I feel a band tightly around my legs, before I hear the hum of a saw. I must look horrified, because Faith completely breaks down. She hits her knees beside my head, and begins to wipe the tears from my eyes as the pain begin.
"It's okay honey... Everything is going to be okay..." She says. I feel her speak faster as the bone saw begins to cut into me. I feel a scream come, but I try to hold it in to keep Faith sane. "We are going to be back home soon, alright? You, me, Gracie, and soon Maggie. Just think about it." She says, tears slipping. I try to focus on her, and not the shrill noise of the saw.
That's when the pain becomes too much... A loud shriek emerges from my mouth, causing Faith to cringe. The EMT's tighten the bands, making it even worse.
"Make them stop! Stop, please!" I start to scream. Faith shuts her eyes tightly, and tries to breathe as I shriek. She places her lips against my forehead, and then my cheek, knowing that her words can't help me right now. I hear myself whimper between episodes of pain, before the pain returns even worse than before.
Suddenly, the saw turns off, and I feel Faith's lips against my forehead again. The EMT's try to slowly move me, after putting a brace around my neck. I feel my hips slide of the edge of the car a little faster than the EMT's expected, causing what's left of my legs to slam against the ground. The sensation makes me feel ill, as I try to not think about it. Faith feels me grow tense.
"It's okay... It's gonna be just fine." She whispers. "I love you." she says, running her fingers through my hair. I want to say it back... but I can't force it out. Instead, I begin to cry again, like a child.
Faith and Gracie ride in the ambulance with me, both getting evaluated. The EMTs make Faith lay down. They're trying to get her to lay on her back, but she won't stop looking over at me. I stare at the ceiling and try to breathe. The heart monitor's reading that I'm on the verge of cardiac arrest, which is the last thing I need right now. They argue whether or not to give me Aspirin, but they know that my blood wouldn't clot then, and I'd likely bleed out everywhere else.
When we arrive at the hospital, they take Faith and Gracie away from me. I feel horrified by myself...
They take me straight into an operating room, and put me out.
I wake up slowly, looking around the room for signs of Faith and Gracie. Instead, my mom sits beside me, and quickly wipes her tears as if I couldn't see her.
"Hey, honey." She says, grabbing onto my hand. I groan a little bit, still feeling a little drugged up. "How are you feeling?" She asks.
"I'm okay." I say, surprised at how fluently I've spoken. I take a few deep breaths before trying to speak again. "Where's Faith and Gracie?"
"Gracie is with Mark, and Faith is in Nashville." Mom says, causing me to feel a little tense.
"Why?" I ask. She takes a deep breath.
"They found out she's worse than they thought..." She says, cringing a bit.
"I need to go..." I say, sitting up. Mom tries to stop me, as I sit on the edge of the bed. I go to step down, but my feet never hit the ground. Instead, I fall right on my stomach, slamming my face down on the floor. I feel numb as I start to remember what happened. I turn over and look down to see nothing below my knees. I try to remain calm, but it's not working. "Oh my god!" I shriek. Mom comes over and tries to help me up, but she's not strong enough. She calls in a nurse, who helps her.
I try to forget what happened just now, and I try to focus on what's wrong.
"What's wrong with Faith?" I say, staring at where my feet should be.
"Her head..." She says, hitting me like a bullet. I feel myself start to shake. Breathe... Just Breathe, Tim...
"Is it her memory?"
"They aren't sure." Mom says, holding onto my hand again. "She had an aneurysm. So she hasn't been awake since." My heart begins to pound. I need to be with her... I have to see her, I can't just sit here...
"Where am I?" I ask.
"LSU hospital." She says, smoothing my hair.
"I need to go..." I repeat, looking around for a wheelchair.
"Tim, you can't leave..." She says. I spot one, and stretch out to pull it over. I somehow manage to slip into it, without falling onto my ass again. Mom continues to try and stop me. "Tim, come on."
"I have to go." I say firmly, pulling out my IV, and wheeling myself out to the hall. She follows.
"Tim, she's going to be fine. Just come back..." She says. I ignore her. My doctor spots me, and tries to also get me to stop.
I spot the elevator, and try to navigate my way through the bustling hallway.
"Tim!" I hear the doctor begin to yell. I feel him grab onto the wheelchair, stopping me abruptly. I try to free it from his grip, but it doesn't work. I feel tears fall from my eyes as I think of how scared Faith will be if she wakes up alone...
I throw myself on the floor, probably looking pathetic to everyone standing around me, and I begin to drag myself toward the elevator. The doctor sits there and watches me, until I'm about a foot away. He then decides he's had enough.
"Come on." He says, picking me up. My anger overflows, and I try to hit him, but I miss every time, as he throws me back into the chair.
"Tim, please stop..." Mom says, holding onto my hand. I feel helplessness hit me like a train as they put me back in the hospital bed, and begin to lecture me.
"She's not alone, is she?" I ask, after we sit in silence for hours. Mom shakes her head.
"No, she has a few of her friends there." She says, looking down at her hands. I narrow my eyes.
"Like who? Mark?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.
"There's Mae who was there when they moved here from here. And I don't know. There's a guy, I think, who's been staying with her since Mae left for Mississippi. Mark is here with Gracie." She says. I feel my throat become tight.
"Who's the guy?" I ask, feeling my anxiety kick in.
"I don't know. That's just what the hospital told me."
"Give me your phone." I demand. Mom does, surprisingly, and I dial the hospital. A nurse picks up.
"Hello?" She says.
"Hi, I'm calling about my wife, Faith." I say quickly.
"Last name?"
"McGraw."
"Alright. I have her records up now. Did you still want to change her emergency contact information?" She asks.
"What?"
"You had come in the other day wanting to change the contact information, correct?" she says.
"No..." I say, thinking they've made a mistake. "I'm calling to see who's been staying with her. Could you possibly look at a visitors log and see?"
"Well we have an overnight stay pass for her husband, R. Wells." She says.
"What?" I say once more. She sighs.
"Aren't you R. Wells?" She asks.
"No. I have no clue who that..." Suddenly a light bulb blows in my head... "Oh my god..."