I was right... she did make it harder for me to fall asleep. I was up all night staring at the ceiling and wondering what she meant. I'm currently hating her for not just being straight up with me.
If she can't give me a reason, then I have no reason not to show up. So, I'll be there.
I get out of my bed, after my very few hours of sleep, and head down to the kitchen. Since it's Monday, I heat up a waffle before I start getting ready to go to school. The only thing getting me through this morning is that there's no school tomorrow.
After school, I'll come back here, grab my bag, hyperventilate a little, then leave. Sounds like a plan!
I throw on leggings, sneakers, a flannel, and a short white crop top. I make my way down the stairs and decide to take my car. Sometimes I take the bus in the morning, but that's mainly when I'm too lazy to drive.
Once I finally arrive to school, I'm greeted by Caroline who's impatiently waiting by my parking spot. She's rocking back and forth on her heels and staring at me with this large, stupid ass grin on her face.
I hop out the car and she runs up to me. "Rose! Are you excited?"
I stand there and say nothing because I really don't know if I am anymore.
"Caroline, I have to tell you something." Since we have at least 10 minutes to spare before the first bell rings, I decided to tell her now. I need her opinion on what to do here.
We both get into my car as I start it, giving us some heat.
"What's up?" I can tell she's a little nervous. I mean, I did sound very serious when I said I had to tell her something. "Who is it about?"
"Harper and, I guess, Lucas." And there I go, telling Caroline all about last night. Telling her about all of my problems makes me feel so much better than you could ever imagine.
She sits there after I finish. I can tell she's really thinking about this. "Before I give my input, what are you gonna do?"
"I have no reason not to go. She didn't give me a reason. So, I'm going." I look at her, trying to read her face and hoping she doesn't just tell me what I wanna hear, but hoping she does at the same time.
"Rose, it must be a good reason though if she's coming to your house and telling you in person not to go." Fuck. I knew this bitch would try and change my mind somehow.
"I know, but think of it in Lucas' perspective. If I tell him and he asks me why, I don't have a reason and I'm sure as hell not telling him his sister came to my house and told me not to come over."
"Yeah, I guess so if you think of it that way. I mean, you're going there to hang out with him. He needs a reason." She sits there and thinks for a minute before shrugging her shoulders. "Just go then."
I groan, "Caroline! You don't sound set on the idea and I need you to be because if you don't like the idea then I can't do it!"
"Listen to me, do what you want. I guess both sides have a valid reason. Do what you want, but I'm telling you I don't think you should go, Rose." She leaves the car and my heart sinks. Is she mad at me for going? Fuck, I don't want her to be upset or mad at me. I didn't even do anything yet! I just stated my opinion! Dammit.
I slowly get out of the car before I start crying and miss my first class.
I see her in the hallway by her locker. She glances at me and looks back. What the hell?
I reach my first period and sit, waiting for... I don't know what! I'm not excited for later anymore, I'm just worried about her.
The day finally ends. Slowest day of my life.
I pass her by her locker, she's usually at mine by now. I'm guessing that won't be happening today.
I need her to not be mad at me. I need to talk to her about later and everything. I need her to stop.
I feel her presence past by me without a word. I watch her walk out the door as I turn around and grab my things fast, so I can catch up to her and try to talk.
I wouldn't say I'm running out to the parking lot, I would call it a slight jog. I'm slightly jogging to catch up to her.
As I'm jogging, I feel someone stop me. "Lucas, hey. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to talk right now."
He furrows his eyebrows. "What's wrong? You seem in a rush. Are you excited for later? I can't wait!"
"Yeah, I'm really excited. I'll see you then?" I say, trying to be nice but at the same time I'm trying to rush him.
"I thought we would talk before-"
"Babe, I don't have time. I have to-" I see it. She's driving away and out to the road. I fucking missed her. "Nevermind, sorry."
I feel the tears start to build up as my body starts to give out. "Rose? What's wrong? Come here." He holds me in his arms as we walk to my car. He leans his back against my car as he holds me. "It's okay baby, cry."
I start to sob into his chest, like a baby. I hate showing emotion. Somehow though, I don't really care right now. I just need him here.
"When your ready, can you tell me what happened?" My heart beats faster, I always forget he has a side like this.
After I finish crying, I look up at him. "Hi baby. What's the matter?"
"Caroline and I got into an argument. Well, not really. She's mad at me and didn't even say bye to me. Lucas, I need her to stop."
"Okay. I see, but what was the argument about?"
I shake my head and the air gets caught in my throat. I didn't really think about this. "I-I cant really get into it, sorry."
"All good baby. How about you call her."
"And what if she doesn't answer?" The thought of her not answering makes me wanna cry again, but I don't.
"Then, if you want, I can drive you over there later."
I smile. "You would do that?"
"I would do anything for you. Anything."
My hands are shaking and my palms are sweating. I've never felt like this before calling my best friend.
One ring.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Voicemail.
I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up. I might, actually.
I know she's on her phone, she's ignoring me. Ignoring me. Ignoring. That word sounds weird when it's directed towards her. It's true though, she's ignoring me.
I shake my head as I start down the stairs, hoping water will make me feel better and wash away all of my worries.
I wish it would wash me away instead.
I look at the door, thinking about it all. Is Caroline right? Should I not go?
I have to go. I want to go.
This all sounds like I'm convincing myself, but after what happened in the parking lot makes me really want to go now.
I head back up into my room and decide to get ready. Get ready with the outfit she picked out for me.
One ring.
Two.
Three.
"What?" My heart stops. She answered. SHE ANSWERED!
"Caroline! Please listen to me." I say as I can sense her head shaking.
"Why should I listen to you if you won't even listen to me? Huh?"
"I was listening to you and I totally understand where you're coming from. But why are you being like this?" My voice sounds shaken, but I would rather die then have her know how much I want to cry right now.
"I don't trust him sometimes. I don't trust him right now." She says, quietly. I have no words. I don't even know what I say if I had words. "Listen, I know you're going. I know you. If anything happens just know I'm here, but I warned you."
"Do you know something I don't?" My voice sounding suspicious of something that's probably not even there.
"If I did, you know I would've told you. You know that. I'm saying though, I don't trust him. I never really have but I've never said anything because I'm your best friend. I didn't wanna hurt you."
"You know, my father said the same thing about him a little while ago to me." I said, hoping that soon this will all be over and we will be the same again like we were this morning.
"And we're probably right, but for now go enjoy your boyfriend."
"No." I say.
"Why not?"
"I cant go if you're mad at me."
She sighs through the phone. "I'm not mad, Rose. I'm worried... it's different." After talking about it for a few minuets i decide to tell her about me crying to Lucas about her.
"He's sweet, but I don't trust him."
"Yeah yeah, I know you don't. I gotta start getting ready." I say with a light smile on my lips.
"Alright, have fun. Text me if anything happens with anyone. I'll always be here."
My smile grows bigger, oh how I've missed her all day. "Thank, Caroline. Love you."
"Love you more. Always."