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Chapter Eight
WHISPERS OF HOPE
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No more was needed to say. I was frozen in my spot. District Thirteen was here, and they were here for me. And if they were here there was a very high possibility that Finnick was alive. There was a very high probability that Finnick was the one that sent them.
We got into their car quickly after and Boggs drove it toward where they parked the hovercraft. I didn't say anything the entire trip. A small part of me didn't want to believe that these were the rebels. I wanted to believe that these were Peacekeepers taking me back to the Capitol because that was all that I know is certain.
I wouldn't let myself have hope, because I knew from years of experience that hope will slowly kill you. Instead, I focused on what would happen when I eventually reached the Capitol if these were actually Peacekeepers.
I begin to wonder if I would be tortured normally with the fire or if they would come up with a creative new way to make my life miserable. Would they torture Peeta and Johanna because they know it would hurt me? Most likely.
Peeta and Johanna. I just left them there. They didn't deserve that. If they ever make it out alive I'm going to have to come up with a way to somehow apologize. The guilt from leaving them to be tortured was eating away at me and Boggs must have noticed because he spoke up.
"Thinking about the other victors you left behind?" He asks.
I look up at him clearing my thoughts. I wanted to say yes that I didn't want to leave them, and I almost did as I opened my mouth and then closed it. He could still be a Peacekeeper and he could use my answer against me when we get back to the Capitol. "No," I mumble unsure of what else to say.
I could tell that he knew I was lying but he didn't bother to push the subject any further. I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to be able to trust him. A part of me was telling me that I could trust him, but a large part of me still had my walls up and wouldn't let anyone in.
If I actually do end up going to Thirteen like that have said then I need to get them to go back for the others. I can't even imagine what they are going through because I escaped. I hope Johanna doesn't hate me because of it.
Minutes seemed to pass by quickly which seemed to ease my nerves a little bit. There was no guarantee that we were headed further away from the Capitol but the longer we were in the car the more confident I felt that we were actually headed to Thirteen.
With any luck, I'll see my friends again shortly. I'll see Willow, who is hopefully still alive, and I'll see Haymitch, who has become a good friend of mine over the years. Even Katniss who I barely know I will be happy to see. Then there's Finnick. I have very good reason to believe that he is alive, I heard his voice, which of course could just be a figment of my imagination but I don't think it is. These people have his necklace, but I also know that they could be using it to trick me.
The car stops and Homes open up his door and Boggs stands up. I still sit there, waiting for them to tell me what to do. Too many times in the Capitol I would stand up whenever they entered my cell and would punish me for it until I stayed seated and looked down until they dragged me out of the cell. That's how I sat now, looking down at my hands in my seat while the other got out of the car.
As if realizing that I am not with them Boggs comes back to the car, "Ember, come on we don't have long before they show up." He says gently, but the sound of his voice is enough to make me flinch. After weeks, or was it months, of only being treated terribly, I expect it from everyone. I close my eyes as I wait for him to grab ahold of my arm and drag me out of the car, to hit me. But it doesn't come, instead, I open my eyes and he is staring at me, "Come on, you'll be safe on the hovercraft."
The word safe seems foreign to me at this point. I haven't felt safe in years. Ever since my first games, but then again the fear of the reaping was always there. I was never safe. I've never been safe my entire life. I have always been surviving but not living. I don't trust the word safe when I don't even know what it feels like, but off in the distance, I can hear the sound of another car and it propels me out of the car.
I follow Boggs onto the hovercraft. As I step abroad my leg wobbles and I trip over the dress that I am still wearing from the interview I was doing. Boggs catches me before I can fall and guides me inside. The door shuts quickly after we enter and before we have a chance to sit down it takes off.
"I got you some clothes you can change into," Boggs says and hands me a black package. I grab it, anything is better than a dress at this point. I go to one of the nearby rooms and strip out of my clothes. Inside the package is a black armor jacket and pants. There was also a pair of combat boots similar to what I wore in my first games. I put them on and head back outside.
The throbbing in my leg is forgotten when I see everyone else aboard the hovercraft. Katniss and Haymitch were the only ones I recognized. She looks relieved to see me just as much as I am to see her. I race over towards her and bring her in for a hug. We weren't the best of friends before all of this, but I sacrificed so much for her. Haymitch smiles at me but from the look in his eyes, I can tell that he is happy to see me as well.
Haymitch and I had become friends through the years. I think he always saw me as the daughter that he never had. Though we don't suffer the same fate, I still understand what he had to go through. His family was killed because of what he did in the arena, and my mother was killed because I refused one time.
I wouldn't say we were close, but I was still glad to see him alive and well.
Relief floods over me. Boggs was telling the truth. They are from thirteen, and they really did rescue me. Finnick is alive and he helped me.
Finnick is alive.
"Are you really here?" I hear myself asking, my voice barely above a whisper as if I'm afraid that if I spoke normally then I would be punished.
"Yeah, I'm here." She says as she hugs me back. When we first met she didn't trust me. I think she disliked me because of the frequent visits I took to the Capitol, of course, she didn't know it was against my will. No one does. Maybe some point after the arena she decided I wasn't a threat to her.
"Peeta, Johanna ━ I just left them there." I sobbed onto her shoulder. "They're probably dead now because of me."
Katniss pulled me back so that I could face her. I could see the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. "No, Peeta is fine. I'm not sure about Johanna but after everything went down with you they pulled Peeta in for an interview the next morning. They acted like everything was normal."
I glance up at Katniss who is looking at me with pity. She could probably see the bruises on my face and arms but she doesn't ask about them. "Is he there? Is he okay?" I ask.
Katniss smiles at me, "Yes, but he's been depressed. He refused to come with us, although Boggs left out that we were rescuing you."
Finnick is alive. He is okay.
"That's okay," I say after a moment of silence. "We can surprise him when we get back." Katniss nods her head and I can see a twinge of jealousy in her eyes. She wishes she could be with Peeta.
"Hate to break up this reunion, but we are there," Boggs says walking up to Katniss.
"Where?" I ask.
"District Eight. It's the only way Coin agreed for us to pick you up is if we take you with us to Eight." Boggs explained to me. "Speaking of here are your weapons." He hands me a bow and a quiver of arrows along with a sword.
I didn't know what to say so I just took them and mumbled thanks. Upon inspection, I noticed that some of the arrows were red and some yellow and blue.
Katniss saw me looking at them, "This one is explosive," she said pointing at the red ones. "And these are incendiary." She points to the yellow one, "and blue is just regular ones."
My hand grips the bow, and a familiar feeling overwhelms me. The first time I held a bow was in training days before the hunger games and the last time was in the quarter quell. So much death and pain I have caused from such a little thing.
None of it was even worth it. The games are still happening, children are still dying from them. All I did was save myself.
I lift my head and shake away the thoughts that seem to follow me everywhere. It doesn't do good to dwell on those thoughts anyways, I can't change how they have happened. I can't stop the games. Katniss is the one who holds the power to do so. I hate that so much responsibility has been thrust upon her shoulders at such a young age. At age seventeen she is the one responsible for deciding the future of Panem.
When I was seventeen I was forced to travel back and forth to the Capitol and my sleep was plagued with nightmares. My mother had been killed and I was broken. I can't even begin to imagine how she feels, especially with Peeta being in the hands of Snow. I know the whole love thing was an act but somewhere from her first games to now, she fell in love with him. I can see it because that's how I felt about Finnick for so long.
I feel the hovercraft land, it's bumpy and I quickly grab ahold of Katniss's arm to steady myself and her. I realize that I'm still holding onto her once they open the doors and pull away. "Sorry," I say.
She shakes her head. "It's fine, I hate hovercrafts too." She says and then studies me as if she is wondering how many times I have been on a hovercraft.
Too many times to count.
There's been times when the train has broken down and they sent a hovercraft to pick me up from district nine and bring me back to the Capitol for a couple of days until the train got fixed. Those were always the worst days. I've ridden one to district four to visit Finnick. I rode one for my first games and the quarter quell and then when they 'rescued' me from the arena, and now.
The way Katniss is looking at me now, I wonder if she knows. If she knows why I travel to the Capitol so much, why I put on a fake personality, why I hate president Snow. Of course, I have never told anyone, the fear of what he would do always stopped me. I desperately wanted to tell my mother, but I think she always knew. I think Willow understands because from the sad look in her eyes every time I leave I wonder if she had the same fate until she was deemed not pretty enough. Finnick was the only person I could actually talk to. He was the only one that understood me.
The sound of Boggs giving us information about what to do brings me back and I listen in on his words.