𝗙ranki watched her knee bounce up and down at the same time her eyes bore at the white tiles of the second-floor in this hospital. It had been hours since Eden's accident at the house, yet all that's happened since then is her becoming an in-patient in the Emergency Room, to then moved to where she was now, the psychiatric ward.
Evidence of her sadness collected in her palms as if she was catching rainwater; she claimed that the girl sleeping in that bed was her best friend – someone of reliance, and someone she gave the same to, but now she could see how wrong that statement was. While she was off worried about her love and sex life, her friend was drowning amongst her darkest demon.
There were a lot of things that she's fucked up in her short life – but this one had to be one of the worst so far. She could rewrite the lines between the people she's done wrong, but this?—it was an act so unforgivable that she knew she didn't deserve anything more than to feel like shit about it. Eden, when she wakes up, should curse her out for the rest of her days.
"Frank?" a voice to her side said.
She turned her head quickly, matching the sound with the sight of Jase's face. She immediately tensed and sat up, wiping the tears off her face. She didn't feel bad about feeling guilty for her friend's issues, but that didn't mean she was exactly ready to show them off to everyone.
"Yeah?" she answered breathily.
"Mind if I join you?"
She nodded.
Jase took a seat in one of the identical plastic chairs beside her; she watched him lift his hand in the air, hovering over her knee for a second before he ultimately decided to rest it on his own. She shifted in her chair and leaned the back of her head on the wall behind them, staring at nothing.
"How are you doing?"
"Fine – have you seen Eden?"
"Yeah," he nodded shortly, "She's going to be staying here a while."
Franki exhaled out of her nose as the words sank in. Eden was almost seventeen but was still so far from experiencing enough of the world to be going through this. She was so young, a baby – the baby – and yet she was stuck going through more than the rest of them as a collective whole.
Realistically, she knew that she needed help. She knew that she was going to have to stay here long enough for her to get a grasp on her disease again, but senselessly, she wanted to believe that she was strong enough to go against it on her own. She wanted her home – by her side, fighting for the truth in their reality.
Unfortunately, even a kid like her has more going on than the overall problem.
"I just want her to be okay."
"She will be, Frank," he half-smiled at her, "She will be."
Finally, willing her eyes to glance at him, she softened inside. His dark brown eyes gazed at her with a cool expression – one that wasn't entirely emotional, but had enough that it felt comforting. His lips were still pressed into that expression, and his hair tussled; all of the above had her feeling like she should lean into him and engulf herself in his being.
But she couldn't do that.
Not to him.
Not anymore.
"I should have known," she whispered instead.
"And as should I—and Maverick, too," he shook his head, "Don't beat yourself up over this."
"But Blaine noticed," she argued, "He—"
"—is closer to Eden than the rest of us," Jase finished.
Franki bit back her words and instead sucked a breath of air in; it was then that she noticed how close he'd gotten to her and how his hand was wrapped into hers. She looked down at it, watching as the shape of it grew blurry the more her tears swelled.
Being in this close of proximity to him was overwhelming – there was a part of her that wanted to squeeze his hand back and be close to him, but the rational side of her told her not to do that. She was lying to herself and everyone else in regards to her feelings for Jase.
She does love him.
She is in love.
But she was still a mess – broken and discarded; even if he could love every piece of her without complaint, she couldn't allow him to have her as she is.
"You shouldn't be holding me, Jase," she whispered.
"I know," he agreed.
His hand did not move.
At least, not the one wrapped within her own.
Instead, the hand that was resting freely against the arms of the chairs lifted from its position and landed before her face. With gentle touch and gentle eyes, he wiped away all drops she split in the name of her friend. When he finished, his hands traveled across her cheeks and to her ear, tucking away her tangled hair.
His touch was heaven.
Her dark eyes watched him like he was so abnormal – she constantly found herself wondering why he chose to love her, out of everyone. She wondered why he tried so hard – why he took so many chances on a woman as undeserving as her.
"I'm sorry for not being what you need," she closed her eyes, inhaling him.
"You are what I need."
"Better than—"
"As you are, or more than so," he sighed, "You are Franki – that's all that matters."
Jase's lips parted as he moved in closer to her face; her hair became undone, shielding them into this moment like a black curtain – poetic as it resembled the remnants of her fractured heart.
"We can't," she shook her head barely, not wanting the moment to end.
"You're the only one saying so."
For the last five minutes and for the next three, she completely forgot where she was and why she was there. She forgot about the mafia, and about her friends – she was entirely in this spot with him and him alone, and for the first time, she wasn't scared.
She didn't want to run.
Rather, she wanted to float within it.
Franki clamped her strength around his fingers and leaned in further; she was ready to kiss him and submit to him – to be his and to better for him, but it was like God wanted anything else for her. It was like the Devil was warning her that she would do nothing more than ruin him.
A loud crash off to the side snapped her out of the zone.
Whipping her head back, she looked up and shot out of her seat immediately, letting go of him and the façade they'd just created together. She rushed across the tiles, reaching Blaine's side as he let another crash cart tumble to the floor from his manipulation.
He kicked the paddles and sent IV lines flying; the nurses around him scrambled to find security – they all looked as if something like this hadn't occurred here for a long time.
"Blaine!" she freaked, grabbing his shoulders, "What are you doing?!"
"Acting out!" he yelled.
"Quit it!"
He shoved her hands off him and backed a step away – it was then that she witnessed the fury in his eyes. That wasn't exactly what she focused on. More so, she paid attention to the sadness that lingered behind the fire – the lighter fluid that was setting off her normally causally brother.
Clutching his arm, she pivoted on her heel and pulled open an empty room, tossing him inside. Blaine stumbled forward, tripping over his feet; he landed in a pile on the ground at the foot of the bed.
She looked over her shoulder in time to see Jase calming down security.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked, shutting the door.
Her brother didn't answer. He took his time to rise from his crumpled position to all fours; his head touched the linoleum, caged in by a forearm on either side. Relaxing her body, she slowly walked over to him; lowering to the ground, she realized that he didn't answer because he'd been crying.
"Hey," she said softer, "What happened?"
It took a few minutes, but he finally used his voice.
"Maverick," he bit out, heaving through his teeth.
"What did he do?"
"He won't let me see Eden."
Franki clenched her jaw as she rubbed his back. Since they got here, they had taken turns visiting her. She had seen her not too long ago, then Jase – Maverick and Blaine, albeit not talking, headed in her room's direction a while ago – she had no idea that he would do this.
Eden is his girlfriend.
Cousin or not – he has no right.
"I'll be right back," she started to get up.
"No!" he grabbed her sleeve and tugged her down, "Leave it be."
"But Blaine – it's not fair."
He shook his head solemnly and sat up, "It's my fault. I should have told him—I shouldn't have believed her. I shouldn't have thought she was getting better because I wanted to," he wiped his face, "I don't belong by her side when I am the reason she is here," he argued.
"That's not true! You had her best interest at heart, B – you should be able to see her. You love her!"
"Believe it or not, sis – love does not conquer all."
"You're being too hard on yourself—"
"Coming from you?"
She drew her head back, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Don't bullshit me," he scoffed, "Just leave me alone."
"Blaine—"
"Go! Get out of the room! I don't want you in here!"
He raised his hands and placed them on her shoulders, shoving her back so hard that she landed on her ass. She dragged on her palms, reaching a comforting sitting position as she looked at him. He dipped his head into his knees and ran his hands along the backside of his neck.
Knowing him better than anyone, she rose to her feet and left the room, closing the door quietly. She did not want to alert security with a loud noise, but her brother was keen on doing that by himself. As soon as she was behind the door, he was tossing the medical equipment at any object he could.
Franki winced, understanding that he had to battle this out on his own; Maverick would surely come around soon – and if he didn't, she didn't care for Blaine's wishes. She would do a fine job of talking some sense into a little bitch like him.
He acted as if he was owed an overcompensating amount of credibility.
Pfft.
She crossed her arms and plopped back in the seat next to Jase.
"Is he okay?"
"He'll be fine."
Franki let the conversation hang in the air, not wanting to talk further. For those seconds, she couldn't gather her thoughts enough to formulate even one. She was here because she blamed herself for not seeing Eden, yet she'd just attempted to talk her brother out of feeling exactly that. She had no right to be using a time like this to act above herself, nor to be consoling in a potential love story.
Feeling this fester, she took her anger out on the only situation she could.
"Earlier meant nothing," she snapped, still feeling the heat of his gaze.
"I figured," he simply shrugged.
Okay.
That's not what I expected.
"What?" she faced him, baffled.
Jase's eyes were displaying the same level of kindness in his voice, "I figured it was an act – your guard was down and I selfishly took advantage of that. I wanted to see if you'd hold true to your word after something strenuous happened, and I can see that it did not."
She blinked rapidly, taking in his words; he was testing me?
He stood up.
"Wait, I—"
"No," he smiled, "It's okay, Frank. I don't expect anything romantic from you anymore. While I admit your fake admiration hurts, it's something I'm used to now. I know that sooner rather than later these romantic feelings will simmer into platonic ones – then we won't have to worry."
Franki stuttered, not computing a single word as he leaned down and planted a lengthy kiss on her forehead. His hand snaked through her hair once more before he turned on his heel and headed down the hallway for something he hadn't disclosed.
All she could do was watch his figure disappear.
Maybe it was because she knew that she could get banter from him on command – mostly because it hurt so good to hear how much he despised her, but now that that element was also stripped from their dynamic, she saw the bigger picture.
She didn't want his feelings to simmer. She didn't want to be platonic with him.
I want to be with him.
Not superficially. Not dramatized.
No – just with him, as one.
Franki had no idea where to start with that – that was her biggest problem. She could boast until she was blue in the face how much she fiend to have him at her side, but without change and proof within her actions, she was stuck at square one.
But for the first time since she's felt as she did inside, she knew that she wanted to.
Through all the shit she's been through, and even including what she experienced in the kitchen a few hours ago, she knew that life was precious; it was time she started acknowledging that.
No more games.