In this game we all have our roles to play.
Blues -Pushovers
Oranges -Goody two shoes
Yellows -Cowards
Pinks -The only ones who know their place
At the top.
And by all means we would get there.
Unlike the other Addisons we weren't afraid to name-call, get rowdy, get violent.
And oh sweetheart, I was the best in the business~
Every profanity was a drug to me. The fights were adrenaline. All the yelling and punching made me feel alive.
I was rewarded every time I walked down the street by scowls.
They hated me and I adored it.
That's all I knew. That's all I needed.
Looking back, success wasn't what fueled me. Anger was...
~~
Once I clawed my way to second seed Pink Addison, I finally met him.
01.
The top.
I don't remember what he said to me on that day, only that I was going to take his place.
I do remember him smirking as he threw the first punch.
We were all the same.
We would do anything to ruin each other.
Scandals, blackmail, sabotage, but despite everything, 01 and I became close.
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
Something the other Addisons would never understand.
Together, we watched monopolies fall and coworkers lose their life savings.
As a business man I had everything I could have ever wanted, yet I still craved more.
I wanted to be 01.
I wanted to see the look on his face when I became the top.
~~
Right before the first 01 meeting of the term I invited him to my house for tea.
By the end of the hour, tea stained the carpet.
Yelling filled the halls as it all broke loose.
Months and months of blackmail and lies were my weapon.
Anger was my reward.
I had him right where I wanted. Bloodied, ruined. Now it was my time to smirk.
I stared into his eyes, wanting him to be the first person who saw me as the new top.
01.
01.
01.
In my hubris flailing arms managed a well aimed blow to my temple.
The next thing I knew he was gone and I was on the ground.
All blackmail erased.
All lies diminished.
02.
02.
02.
In a fervor I wiped the blood from my nose and made way outside where conveniently placed trash cans became my prey.
Soon a sound from further down the alleyway made me whip around, I raised my fist, hungry for more.
My attention became fixed on the Plugboy in front of me, only something wasn't right.
He was shaking.
No anger. No annoyance. No scoffing.
Just fear in his eyes.
As all will drained from my body we stared at each other.
After what felt like minutes the plugboy made the first move.
He ran, and all I could do was watch.
~~
When I was young there was fear in my eyes all the time.
From the moment I was spawned I was surrounded by a toxic workplace where abuse was the norm.
I lived in fear for most of my life.
Fear of making a mistake, being yelled at, being hit.
But one day I finally realized the only way to escape abuse was to become the abuser.
And so, in short, I became the best.
Fights, blackmail, scandal. Check.
487.
Blackmail, ad block. Check.
354.
Fights. Check
200.
132.
053.
02.
02.
02.
All other emotions were put on the back burner as I let anger guide me.
Anger at my abusers.
Anger at my inabilities.
Anger at being spawned a Pink Addison.
Anger at being spawned at all.
Anger.
But, I guess I never stopped being afraid.
For the first time since I was young, fear felt real as I looked into the Plugboy's eyes.
Anger, for a split second, loosened its hold on me as I fell to the ground.
~~
Everything felt numb.
Nothing made sense.
In an instant I was brought back to my youth. A place I didn't want to be.
I guess that's why I didn't notice her at first.
"And what's a poor thing like you doing out here all alone?" An Orange Addison cooed from behind me.
I stared as she rounded in front of me. "A Pink Addison and you're not even going to yell at me?"
The Orange Addison gave a small laugh before continuing on her way. After a moment she paused and sighed.
"You did a pretty good number on Pink 01"
With that I snapped out of my trance and made my way up to the Orange Addison.
"And what's stopping me from doing the same to you?"
The Orange laughed again and spread her arms open. "Because I'm an 01? As if that will stop you! Go ahead, do your worst."
I raised my hand in typical annoyance but, for some reason I couldn't get the fear in the eyes of the Plugboy out of my mind.
My hand began to shake and the Orange smirked. She took my hand in hers. "Why don't you tell me what's on your mind?"
~~
For some reason unbeknownst to me, I found myself following the first seed Orange Addison to her house without saying a word.
After leading me to the bathroom she took out a small first aid kit and began to treat the cuts on my face with a cotton ball and some hydrogen peroxide.
I grimaced. "What are you doing?"
"Besides treating your cuts?"
I wanted to say some kind of retort but I had no energy to say anything. Instead I gave her a dirty look.
"You know you're an odd one Pink?"
This time I did say something. "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"
The Orange Addison laughed. "Well, the last time we met you and 01 tried to get me fired but, here we are. You, sitting in my bathroom. It's odd isn't it?"
"You know what, you're right." Having had enough I made my way out of the bathroom and to the front door when the Orange Addison called out.
"Thank you for stopping by!"
I slammed the door and didn't look back.
~~
I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat with an incredible headache. That jerk 01 hit me pretty well.
After swallowing some Tylenol I made my way to the bathroom to get ready for work. And that's when I finally saw what the Orange Addison had done to me.
She had used pink Hello Kitty band-aids to cover up my cuts.
I punched the mirror and sighed. " What a joke."
In the end I decided to keep the bandages on, looking for a quick fight with any Pink Addison that would make fun of me in hopes of making myself feel better.
Much to my dismay the yelling didn't help but instead made my headache worse.
I was angry but had no adrenaline rush come with it. This made me even angrier and my headache worse. I decided to resort to giving dirty looks for the rest of the day.
Finally business hours ended and the only thing keeping me going at that point was that 01 hadn't showed up to work. I guess the Orange Addison was right that I did do a number on him.
As soon as I returned home I threw myself on the couch. I closed my eyes in hopes of finally relieving my headache, but that's when I heard a knock on the door.
I didn't want to yell so I let whoever it was have at it, only the knocking didn't stop.
I eventually decided that the lesser of two evils was to get up and see what it was. I regret doing so because smiling on the other side was the Orange Addison.
I slammed the door in her face and went to bed.
~~
Good news is that my headache finally went away. Bad news is that I'm now starting to have nightmares.
Stupid Pink Addisons.
When I saw that there was a package full of cookies on my doorstep I nearly screamed.
Stupid Orange Addisons.
Hungry from not having time to eat breakfast, I decided to try one of the cookies. I hated that they were actually good.
Upon arriving to work with a box full of cookies I was immediately the center of attention.
"Aww does the poor little baby need some milk for his cookies?" The 100th seed Pink Addison teased.
I punched him.
After that everything seemed to go back to normal.
Less weird feelings.
Hopefully no more Orange Addison.
My peace was short lived though, as 01 walked into the office, covered in bandages.
"02 may I speak to you?"
I knew that his politeness was contrived but I nodded and followed him to his office.
"Ooo looks like someone's in trouble!~"
"Oh shut up 100!" 01 snapped.
~~
For a while we didn't say anything to each other, instead we just studied the patterns of newly healed cuts and bandages on each other's faces.
After a while 01 smirked. "Take a good look at me 02..."
He unbuttoned and removed his blazer revealing the multitude of bruises across his arms and chest.
"This is what you've done."
I stared in shock. What had I done?
My heart twisted in anger but I stayed cool as I pointed to the few bandaids on my face.
"And this is what you've done. Do you think you could have done any better?"
01 smiled. "Oh, don't worry I've done way worse."
01 calmly put on his blazer before waking over to his desk and opening his laptop. Every keystroke felt as if it took hours to complete as I watched his every methodical movement.
Who knows how long it really took him but with all the sickening calmness in the world, he turned the screen to face me.
I looked at it and staring back at me was the monster I'd become as I briefly tasted the top...
~~
I watched as I landed blow after blow on 01's body and I felt terrified.
I tried to keep a straight face but 01 must have sensed my discomfort and smirked.
"Try being the one brutally beat honey~"
I turned to face him but he immediately grabbed my head and twisted it back toward the screen.
"I didn't say you were done." 01 clicked the repeat button.
And so I watched as I bloodied 01 again and again. Only the next time became harder than the last. I could feel myself starting to break down, to shake.
01 just calmly held my head in place and watched as it all unfolded.
Again.
And again.
And again.
At first I only saw 01 as the victim but, the longer it went on I began to see the innocent Plugboy brutally slaughtered.
And soon I saw myself. Reliving every single childhood moment.
Again.
And again.
An-
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I began to cry. 01 savored it.
"I-I..." I let out a pathetic squeak.
"What was that?" 01 sneered.
"I-I'm sorry..."
01 yanked my head to face him. "What was that?!"
"I'm sorry!"
01 did his vile smirk. "Oh don't beg! I only have to do one more thing~"
01 moved closer to the computer and much to my horror I watched as he clicked the share button on the video.
"Let's make you famous, hun~"
~~
01 published the video.
He published the video.
He published the video.
My mind screamed but my body refused to move as 01 threw me to the wolves waiting outside his office.
The video had spread like wildfire, but I was the only one getting burned.
Ratings dropped.
Accusations were thrown.
Monster.
Monster.
Monster.
I felt blows against my body as I tried to move through the crowd. Only I couldn't escape.
I felt numb as I succumbed to my fate. The world revolved and everything went dark.
In the darkness I saw a young Addison, cowering.
Everything grew darker but I was able to trace the familiar scars with my eyes.
Before everything went dark a fellow Pink Addison cooly walked up to him. The boy looked up and-
*Smack*
I woke up screaming with a start and a warm hand on my back sent me jumping into a light fixture.
I looked around panting in shock until my eyes finally landed on her. The Orange Addison.
Her face was wrought with concern but she retained a calm demeanor. I couldn't help but let her take me up in her arms. I squeezed her tight and the tears began to flow.
~~
We stayed embraced for a long while and I cried till my eyes were bloodshot and my voice was hoarse.
Neither of us talked the entire time and I eventually passed out from exhaustion.
As I slept 01's video played in my head and I eventually woke in a slight panic but, with some of my senses regained.
My eyes landed on the Orange Addison asleep on a nearby sofa and I finally realized I was in her house.
Upon hearing me stir the Orange Addison opened her eyes and smiled at me.
I stared as she got up to sit beside me. "What happened?"
The Orange Addison sighed and after pausing for a moment she began to speak.
"After 01 released the video the entire Cyber City rushed to your office to practically burn you at the stake... Security was heightened but I managed to sneak you out. Being an 01 does have its perks..."
I sighed. "Can't have a monster loose in the Cyber City."
The Orange Addison scrunched her face. "Don't say that."
Placing a hand to my face I said. "Fine... What do I owe you."
The Orange Addison placed her hand on mine and smiled. "You don't owe me anything."
"Then it's blackmail, huh? Hold me ransom till someone pays to throw me in the Trash zone?"
"I would never!"
I stood up and pointed at the Orange Addison. "Then what do you want?"
The Orange Addison gave a slight laugh. "I'm not like them... Why is it so hard for you to believe that there are nice people in the world."
"One I've never met one! And two you saw what I did!"
"And 01 has probably killed someone. So what?"
I gasped. "So what?! It was on video and my seed has probably gone all the way down to 500!"
The Orange Addison looked away sheepishly.
"So has it?!"
"It has..."
I placed both of my hands on my face and flopped on the couch giving a slight scream in anger.
"Of course he would freaking ruin me. Of course it had to be him ! Right when I had the 01 seed right in my hand!"
We sat in silence before the Orange Addison broke it.
"Why are you so obsessed with being an 01?"
I instantly turned and glared at her. "Of course you are so surprised, miss perfect 01~"
"Oh everything is fine! And nothing ever goes wrong in my perfect, fancy life~" I continued as I mocked her.
The Orange Addison was about to interject but I cut her off.
"Well everything isn't always so freaking perfect! Don't you get it?! At the top you are untouchable! FREAKING UNTOUCHABLE!"
The Orange Addison placed my hand in hers and I looked at her in disgust. "What do you think you're doing?"
"See I'm not untouchable."
I stood up in fury. "What do you think you're doing mocking me?!"
She stood up as well. "Well, you were mocking me just a second ago."
"Ugh! This is why I don't talk to the other Addisons!"
"It would do you a world of good if you did." The Orange Addison winked.
"You know what?! This is ridiculous! I'm leaving!"
I began to storm off to the front door but the Orange Addison walked in front of it.
"I'm not letting you leave."
"What?! You can't do that?!"
"This is my house I can do what I want." The Orange Addison smiled.
"I said I'm leaving!" I tried to push her aside but she refused to move.
"Let me leave!"
"No!"
"Let me leave!" Unknown panic began to rise up in my voice.
"Nope~"
"Please let me leave..."
~~
For some reason my whole body started to shake again. The Orange Addison took my shaky hand and led me back to the couch. I followed because I had no choice.
I felt helpless and the feeling disgusted me.
Squeezing my shaky hand, the Orange Addison looked me in the eyes. "Why don't you tell me what's on your mind?"
Using the little will left in my body I pulled my hand away. "Well for starters I'm shaking like crazy and, like the pathetic Pink Addison I am, I'm talking to an Orange Addison."
"Out of everything, what makes talking to me the most pathetic thing you've ever done?" The Orange Addison looked at me inquisically.
Trying to turn my fear into anger I crossed my arms. "Because stupid Pink's aren't supposed to talk to stupid Orange's.
The Orange Addison gave a small laugh. "But if we're both stupid at least we have something in common."
I felt the anger rising in my chest. "This isn't a sales pitch sweetheart~"
With that the Orange Addison burst out laughing and it took everything I had in me to refrain from punching her.
Between gritted teeth I snarled. "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!"
The Orange Addison continued to laugh and boy was I starting to hate that laugh. "I just think it's funny that all Pinks! Every single one! Say some kind of pet name when they're really mad! It's like your whole life is an oxymoron!"
Defensively I said. "My life isn't an oxymoron!"
With glinting eyes she looked at me and said. "Then what is it?"
I stared at her while I grasped for some sort of clever retort or comeback but, all I could manage to say was:
"Pathetic."
~~
"And what makes your life so pathetic?" The Orange asked with genuine curiosity.
I fell into her trap and I had no way out. "It's pathetic because I became the thing I hate most: A Pink Addison."
We stared at each other for a moment. The slight tinge of sadness in the Orange's eyes compelled me to keep talking for some reason.
"I name call, get rowdy, get violent, even though those are the things that used to keep me up at night! And excuse me for feeling pathetic after I nearly massacred the closest thing I had to a GOSH. DARN. FRIEND!"
Surprised, the Orange stared at me and said. "01? I thought you were upset because he caused your ratings to fall?"
I yanked some of my hair. "UGH! You wouldn't get it Princess~ When I was with him no one could hurt me!"
"But didn't he hurt you?"
"Who freaking cares because at least for a little while I didn't go home with a bloody freaking nose every night!" I yelled.
The Orange looked down. "Verbal abuse is abuse too."
I knelt down to her level, looking her straight into the eyes, and hissed. "What would you know about abuse?"
"I know enough about it to tell that you have clearly been through it."
In a fury I grabbed her face and yanked it towards me. "And can your knowledge tell you that I also became a FREAKING ABUSER myself?!"
The Orange sadly placed her hand over mine clutching her face. "Yes...but it also tells me that you can be more."
~~
My grip on her face loosed allowing her to free herself but, instead, she chose to kiss me on the cheek and I stared at her in shock.
She stared back for a moment before removing my hand from her face. "Do you remember a few hours ago when you woke up crying?"
Not giving me a chance to speak, she continued. "Would an abuser, no a Pink Addison, cry about their victims?"
Still trying to be bullheaded I murmured. "I was crying about my ratings..."
The Orange sighed. "No, you were yelling about your ratings...Let me ask you again, would a Pink Addison cry about their victims?"
I lowered myself onto the floor. "I guess I'm a pretty pathetic Pink Addison aren't I?"
"If you're pathetic at being a Pink Addison why don't you try being something else?"
I buried my head into my knees. "Why are you being so nice to me? After everything I've done to everyone I should be thrown out into the Trash zone."
The Orange Addison leaned from where she was sitting to look at me upside down. She smiled. "I chose to be more."
"And besides the internet is weird and 01's video will probably blow over in a week."
I turned my head away from her. "Then what about everything else?! The lies, scandals, fights? I can't be more when I don't even know what I am?"
"Then what would you want to be?"
I buried my head even further. "Not a freaking Pink Addison."
The Orange Addison got up from the couch and sat by me on the floor. "Then you could just be Pink."
I looked up at her. "Pink?"
The Orange Addison smiled at me. "Nice to meet you Pink! I'm Orange!"
I sighed. "The world doesn't work like that. I can't just start over."
"Who's to say you can't? And I'm here saying that you can!"
I looked at Orange with tired eyes. "How can you be so optimistic?"
She looked at me. "Because I've lived through pessimism.
~~
"I've been where you are countless times, wishing to be something else. I wanted the bravery of a Blue, determination of a Yellow, and even the confidence of a Pink...I only know the surface of what you have been through but know that everyone has their own battles they are fighting. I'm not miss perfect, I'm just in an uptime in my life and I know soon you will be too."
"How do I get the compassion of an Orange?"
Orange moved closer to me. "I became more than my color...I became me."
Desperately I looked at her. "Who am I?"
Giving a slight laugh she said. "Right now you are an angry, violent, semi-insane Addison but... you get to choose who you want to be moving forward."
Turning away I said. "I want to be like you."
Orange continued to laugh. "There's only one me but... I know if you tried hard enough you could... you could be more than me."
"I could become me..."
Orange smiled. "'And now that you don't have to be perfect, you could be good."
I turned to her surprised. "Are you quoting John Steinbeck?"
Orange turned away sheepishly. "I thought it fit what we were talking about."
I buried my head into my knees again but this time trying not to laugh.
Orange pretended to be shocked. "What?! Are you laughing at me?"
"No..."
Orange squinted her eyes. "You are totally laughing at me."
I tried to bury my head even further but Orange started poking at me and I couldn't help but laugh as I swatted away her fingers.